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The Wurst of Times; A German Interlude
Topic Started: Friday, 7. December 2012, 14:19 (9,711 Views)
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An attractive small town was the setting for

Saturday 20th May 2017
Regionalliga West
SC Wiedenbrück 1 v 2 Fortuna Düsseldorf U23
Mario Heller ( Köln); Oliver Aust, Michael Kohling.

One had to feel for the assistants as they warmed up on a sunny afternoon. As they set off, Herr Heller stopped to talk to someone in the visiting dugout, leaving his colleagues chugging back and forth for several minutes. Just when they seemed to have exhausted every possible movement variation and were thinking of stopping for a stretch, Herr Heller sprang into action so they felt obliged to carry on, though still separately from their leader, who went through a solo display of exotic dancing.

There was little at stake, both sides being just clear of the relegation zone, though there did remain the possibility that the visitors might have to step down a level should their senior side be relegated from the 2. Bundesliga.

Herr Heller's appearance, somewhere between Lee Mason and Mr Lah-di-dah Gunner Graham, would have suggested that he was about 40, but in fact he is just 28. The kick-off was signalled by the longest blast ever, proving that he possessed a strong whistle. Sadly the hoped-for gentler tone never materialised, though that does seem to be the expected German way, as does the multiple whistle. Fortuna took the lead on 6 minutes, their number 11 nipping in front of the keeper as he bent to pick up a low cross at the near post. The yellow card was shown to the home number 13, correctly, if slightly harshly, his attempted flick at his opponent's ankle being an example of not quite stopping a less than promising attack. That is not to imply that Herr Heller was over-officious - indeed in a match with some clumsiness but little malice, he managed to limit the number of stoppages by some good advantages and an unwillingness to reward players who went to ground too easily. Fortuna were looking the more likely side, but unselfish work by the home striker saw his side draw level before half time.

The opening minutes of the second half produced a good save at each end, before Fortuna were awarded a free-kick near halfway. They were about to take it when they were stopped and one of their players was called for a warning. The kick was taken eventually, and poor marking let Fortuna take the lead. From then on the visitors were in complete control, being repeatedly denied by the keeper or the posts. One spell of 20 seconds towards the end saw them hit post, keeper's leg then post again. There were no further goals, however, with just a deserved late yellow card for the home number 15, after an advantage.

Though not a great talker, Herr Heller had a good game, though there was little to trouble him. AR1 was a hand changer, though he tended to favour his right by jogging backwards down his line. AR2 was not, but seemed a jolly soul, notably when retrieving his flag, which had shown a desire to join in the fun on the pitch.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Sunday, 21. May 2017, 06:38.
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Anyone who feels that the ascent of Mount Mossley is an insufficient challenge could have joined me (provided he could walk slowly enough) on the way to

Sunday 21st May 2017
Oberliga Westfalen
TuS Ennepetal 2 v 2 ASC 09 Dortmund
Felix Weller (Neunkirchen, Siegerland); Florian Schreiber, Jens Schäfer.

When Anne Bronte penned the lines

Believe not those who say
The upward path is smooth

She had a moral path through life in mind, rather than routes to German football grounds - or even the vicissitudes of the refereeing pathway. Nevertheless they did come to mind today. The word "Tal" means "valley" and here it was particularly deep, the station and the ground of course being on opposite sides, the ground being right at the top. The tune Sussex then passed though my mind, as the steep and rugged pathway was trodden anything but rejoicingly. The thought of idly resting and staying by still water definitely would have appealed. Finally making it to the plateau, it was delightful to see a lovely grass pitch, with row upon row of comfortable seats. Delight soon turned to despair as the match was to be played on the adjacent artificial pitch, with just hard standing for spectators.

Herr Weller is 21 and a member of his region's prospects group. In appearance he looked as Mike Jones must have done over a quarter of a century ago: slightly built with thinnish features and fair hair. His two assistants were only slightly older, the combined ages of all three only just surpassing mine. The assistants had enough hair for two splendid coiffures, but as Herr Schäfer had collared the lion's share, his unruly mane left Herr Schreiber sadly deficient.

There was a tricky decision for Herr Weller in the first minute as two players went hard for the same ball, resulting in pain to each, but he got it right, whatever one home player thought. Despite one attack which forced the Dortmund keeper to dive to save, the visitors were on top, only a desperate defensive toe preventing them from going ahead. On 31 minutes a visiting attacker was running into the box, a defender came across but took man rather than ball and the penalty was rightly given. The offender, number 21, was hurt in the process, but rose to receive a yellow card before going down again and having to be replaced. The keeper did well to save the shot, but was understandably miffed that the rebound was spotted home to give ASC the lead. The visiting number 11 threw a hissy fit when penalised - correctly it seemed - and was called for a lecture, which ended amicably.

There was an easy yellow two minutes into the second period, the home number 11 going through from behind. Ennepetal were looking livelier in the second half, and equalised on 63 minutes, going ahead four minutes later. Misuse of his arm by the visiting number 8 drew a reaction from an opponent and a yellow from Herr Weller. There were a couple of chances for ASC inthe closing minutes, but first a header then a shot went just wide. In stoppage time the home number 11 set up a glorious chance for a colleague, who ended up playing it with the leg he was standing on. ASC gained possession, Herr Weller played a great advantage deep in Dortmund territory, cautioning the Ennepetal offender later, and the visitors raced away to score. In the end, everyone was pretty happy.

AR1 was a confident hand changer and came in with a number of flags for could. AR2 contributed just the one and did not switch hands, but was impressively vocal in preempting several appeals in his sector.

It is easy to see why Herr Weller is highly regarded: movement was of course good, whistle well modulated, which pleased me if not a German Beobachter, and his decision making was accurate, with a pleasing refusal to be impressed by yelps of pain. He always appeared calm and the only minor call I could fault was a late whistle for offside when the keeper was safely hugging the ball. My slight reservation concerns his lack of obvious interaction with the players and even with his assistants. He led well on throw-ins, but there seemed to be little eye contact with them. I should be happy to see him again in the future, though feel that a further year at this level might help him to develop his use of his personality a little more. When I wished him well in the clubhouse before the match, I received a confident beaming smile in response - it would be nice to see that appearing on the pitch. That apart, the match was very well handled and his method works for him and clearly meets the expectations of his mentors.

The downhill path was easier and the uphill stretch to the station was neither as steep nor as long.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Saturday, 29. July 2017, 06:03.
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A weekend in Germany staying in the city of Hamm would allow for trips to three matches (you have been warned!) A Friday night fixture at Aachen, once known as Aix-la-Chapelle, was tempting, if only to be able to tell friends that I had spent Friday in Hamm and Aix. It would have meant returning to the hotel at 2am, though, and beauty sleep is much needed by JCFC. The easier alternative was

Friday 28th July 2017
3. Liga
VFL Osnabrūck 0 v 4 SV Wehen Wiesbaden
Christian Dietz (formally Kronach now Munich); Steffen Mix, Lothar Ostheimer.

Wehen started in slow motion, looking as if 0-0 was their aim, but contrived to break and take the lead in the 5th minute. It was probable that Herr Dietz would have to be alert to time-wasting and sure enough the garden shears appeared on 13 minutes when the visiting number 5 dribbled the ball away from the scene. Osnabrūck were doing most of the pressing, but Wehen's first corner on 20 minutes was headed home rather too easily, while another break almost produced a third. The home side, meanwhile, combined neat football and carelessness in equal measure. In the process they had a shot blocked on the line, received a disputed caution for a challenge by their number 3 and had a 40th minute penalty claim for handball denied, rightly, their number 14 being fortunate not to receive a yellow card for his protest.

Herr Dietz pointed at his watch as the Wehen keeper took his time over restarts. What appeared to be a very good tackle by the Wehen number 4 was surprisingly penalised, the yellow card being shown to the "offender", probably for his show of dissent.Things gradually became a little heated, a 68th minute chop with no regard for be ball bringing a yellow for the Wehen number 15 and the home number 15 for his angry reaction. After an easy first 40 minutes Herr Dietz was having to work hard, speaking at length to the Wehen number 16 - or was it the other way round? - and cautioning the Osnabrūck 14 for a foul. He began to struggle and seemed to lose his way somewhat, a whistle for a yellow for the Wehen number 18 denying Osnabrūck a clear advantage. On 78 minutes he had to rush to prevent a second home player from helping the substituted player on his way with a push, having not been able go forestall the first such shove. Osnabrūck tried to get something back, but missed a decent chance and saw the keeper dive to push another effort round the post. On 86 minutes the Wehen keeper did finally receive a yellow for timewasting, unfortunately as a home player was being helped to his feet and limping off. A powerful shot gave Wehen their third on 88 minutes, the fourth following a minute later courtesy of some comedy defending.

At 33 Herr Dietz is entering his sixth season on the second division list - only Robert Kempter appointed in 2008 has been at that level for longer - and has seen several officials promoted past him. His general demeanour appeared to lack energy and in the end his performance in this game was disappointing. Given that the changing of the guard in the 1.Bundesliga is now over - the past three seasons having seen 9 officials retiring on age grounds taking with them the experience of 2019 matches in the top flight - no age-related retirements are due for another 4 years, so progress to the top level looks unlikely. On this showing perhaps it is as well.

Incidentally, there have been no demotions from the 3rd Division killing fields this year, while of the three newcomers two are former 3rd Division officials who were dropped from the list in 2016, with just one new name. Of the three referees promoted to the 2nd Division list this season, two (including the aptly named Herr Pfeifer) sport beards. Perhaps that is the way to get ahead - no wonder it took Frau Steinhaus so long to make the final leap into the 1. Bundesliga!
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Sunday, 30. July 2017, 17:33.
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Saturday 29th July 2017
Regionalliga West
FC Viktoria Kōln 1904 1 v 0 SC Verl
Niklas Dardenne (Nettersheim); Peter Bonczek, Cemal Cam.

Somewhat surprisingly perhaps Herr Dardenne had been on the line at the previous evening's match in the same league. He is the son of former Bundesliga and FIFA referee Georg Dardenne but fortunately has not inherited the rather lived-in appearance that characterised his father.

Though not of the same level as the city's top two clubs, Viktoria nevertheless possess an impressive ground on the right of the Rhein. Their club anthem is sung to the well-known strains of Sweet Rose of Allendale. Who pinched the tune from whom? Verl in comparison is a very small town, not far from Gūtersloh.

Herr Dardenne put in a very good 90 minutes, being very calm and moving effectively a bouncy style. He used his whistle quite sparingly, with a good variation of tone. Viktoria number 8 was played iron 14 minutes but shot across the goal. An obvious yellow for stopping a promising Verl attack soon went to the home number 22. A vigorous flag from the excellent AR2 on 28 minutes led to a yellow for the Verl number 28. The home side had had the better of the early stages, but Verl finished the half strongly, twice coming very close. One Verl player sought an audience with Herr Dardenne as the left the field, but his personal skills appear good and it ended with hand-clasping and smiles.

During the interval their was a head to head penalty crossbar challenge three goes each and the tall youth was chastened to be beaten 2-0 by a small girl.

There was a similar discrepancy in size between the two substitutes Viktoria introduced for the second half, number 36 being immensely tall, number 19 reaching to his shoulder blade. Verl had a shot deflected just past the post but otherwise Viktoria had the bulk of possession. The Verl number 14 received a yellow card on 73 minutes for blocking the taking of a free-kick. On 79 minutes Victoria's pressure told and they took the lead, coming close with a header soon afterwards. On 89 minutes a Verl claim for a penalty was rightly waved away, one man receiving a yellow for his protests. As said, Herr Dardenne had a very good 90 minutes - but the 91st produced a further penalty appeal by Verl this time for handball. Given the height of the ball and the distance travelled, if contact was with the arm it looked eminently giveable. Herr Dardenne awarded a corner, however, and was surrounded by Verl players, a few home men becoming involved as well, resulting in a bit of scuffling and a yellow for the Verl number 11. The final whistle saw a couple of visiting players clapping sarcastically in Herr Dardenne's direction, which he wisely chose not to see, while the visiting coach engaged him in a long discourse while home players and staff were trying to shake the officials' hands. A pity that a good afternoon's work should end on a controversial note.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Saturday, 29. July 2017, 21:42.
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The Hildesheim Saga - Chapter 3

A couple of years ago, I travelled from Hannover to watch a Borussia Hildesheim match, only to find that earlier heavy rain had led to the postponement of the fixture.

Earlier this year, I chose to stay in Hildesheim to see a game, but once again rain intervened and the match was an early casualty, with a trek to a more lowly game in Bremen the only option.

It was with pleasure therefore that I found that Borussia were at home this Sunday afternoon, and plans were drawn up accordingly. Between Tuesday and Thursday's arrival in Germany the match disappeared from the list, it was eventually found to have been switched to next Wednesday. Fortunately there is a less appealing alternative for today.

Now there is nothing special about Borussia Hildesheim, but it is becoming quite an obsession not to be defeated, so the quest will continue. One day I shall be lucky and Chapter 4 will appear in the end.
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The alternative turned out to be an enjoyable in the form of

Sunday 30th July 2017
Regionalliga West
Borussia Dortmund ll 2 v 2 Rot Weiss Essen
Benjamin Bläser (Niederzier); Mitja Stegemann, Kevin Domnick.

Once in the dear dead days beyond recall, or 2007 as it was known, I watched the equivalent fixture (0-0, referee Thomas Metzen) in the then Regionalliga Nord - a match transferred to the adjacent main stadium. The two cities are near neighbours and with the Bundesliga not yet started, home fans were eager to air their yellow shirts in the sunshine, while Rot Weiss, a once successful club that has declined seriously, including repeated relegations through financial mismanagement, still have a large following, so the smaller Rote Erde ground had an attendance of almost 6000 - more if all the security bods and bodesses were included.

As is not unusual the officials went their separate ways for the warm-up, Herr Bläser, after an early exchange of hugs with one Essen player, spent most of the time on his back on halfway, contorting his body into the most curious shapes. Would a similar routine be adopted on a wet November afternoon? Once the match got under way, he quickly created a favourable impression, with a rapid curving run to cover an Essen attack from the best angle and a generally dynamic manner.

It is clear that the tall, cheery but somewhat goofy-looking Herr Stegemann is not a reader of Rate the Ref, as despite the comment following a game at Stuttgart, he still makes no attempt to hold his flag in the appropriate hand. Herr Domnick, newly promoted to be an assistant in the third division, was adept in this - and both went on to perform well.

Herr Bläser rightly decided against a penalty award for Dortmund after what was simply a coming together after 7 minutes, while Essen were generally looking more dangerous, one scramble in the Dortmund goal area ending with the ball in the hands of the prostrate keeper. The Rot Weiss keeper was also called to save, tipping a header over the bar. On 26 minutes Herr Domnick flagged for a foul by the Dortmund number 4, who received a yellow card, and a minute later an Essen shot hit the post, with the attackers being first to the rebound to take the lead. It lasted just six minutes, a tackle from an awkward angle looking clean to English eyes, but being adjudged a penalty, with a yellow for the Essen number 5 with no protest from Rot Weiss. Oddly they did protest in numbers just three minutes later, when penalised for an obvious foul in midfield. A little heat crept into the game and on 38 minutes an Essen player was left on the ground after a challenge deemed fair and as play continued with him still down a confrontation started nearby, with "peacemakers" arriving from all quarters - including both assistants - and a yellow for each side was the outcome. The Essen number 13 then received an obvious yellow for a crude chop. Just before half-time the home number 4 came through with an over-enthusiastic challenge from behind and the Essen boss was less than happy that he did not receive his second yellow. The Essen number 31, one of those cautioned for the handbags, pushed his luck a little with an extended spell of flouncing at the referee as he left the field.

The Dortmund number 4 was replaced, wisely perhaps, for the second half, while Herr Bläser received a pat and a handshake before the restart from the other Dortmund player cautioned earlier. The home side quickly went ahead, a long shot going in off the underside of the bar, but again parity was soon restored, with an Essen goal on 51 minutes. Then on 54 minutes Essen were penalised for handball just outside the box - a decision that seemed harsh from a distance. It may well have been correct, but my note was that a low threshold had been set. Two minutes later the Essen number 9 bounced the ball petulantly when rightly penalised for a dangerously high foot, and many referees might have shown a yellow. Essen were correctly called back when taking a quick free-kick from the wrong place and were not happy. When a similar situation occurred soon afterwards Herr Bläser hesitated, but let play continue as he raced to catch up. On 58 minutes Essen had a big appeal for a handball penalty rejected and were incensed - the earlier decision against them being fresh in their minds, and there certainly seemed a measure of inconsistency. The Dortmund number 9 saw yellow for a high foot on 68 minutes as things grew a little hectic. Dortmund then hit the post and appealed for goodness knows what and on 78 minutes their number 7 was also booked for a foul. An excellent low Essen cross was miscued by the striker and there was a second Essen appeal for a penalty for handball, again unsuccessful. The yellow card count was increased by one following a couple of late body checks by an Essen defender.

It seems likely that the referee will have received a better mark from Dortmund than from Essen. At 30 he is entering his third season as a 3rd Division referee. He does look the part - unlike so many rather languid German officials - and promised well, but there seemed to be some inconsistency, not only in handball decisions. A hint of style over substance perhaps? That said, there were several good points and a second viewing would be welcome.

At the end of the match your correspondent had a less than straightforward return to the hotel. For a start, it was not possible, on segregation grounds, to leave the stadium by the exit towards the station - though the only signs of potential trouble came from elderly gentlemen thus denied - while progress towards the other end was painfully slow for many minutes. It was therefore too late for the carefully planned train route avoiding Rot Weiss fans heading homewards, with the next train in that direction not being for another hour. There was nothing for it but to join the throng on the opposite platform. The first train arrived soon - a two carriage affair, with the added problem that one of its two doors was out of action and people were reluctant to pass further down the car, while the unfortunate driver received abuse from those unable to board. There was a second train in ten minutes, again just two carriages, and once again not every body was able to board. The next train was due in 15 minutes or so and despite a delay reached Dortrmund in time for a comfortable connection to Hamm. The troubles were not quite over, however, as on arrival at Hamm, a police cordon stopped us from leaving by the main exit. It was necessary to go to the other end of the subway - those familiar with German stations will appreciate that this was quite a march - turn left through a car park, then trudge down the road, back under the railway and up the road back to square one. Initial impressions were that it was as a precaution against flag-waving demonstrators in the square outside, but the morning paper revealed that an unattended plastic bag was to blame: explosives experts had been summoned only to declare two and a half hours later that the items of clothing therein were not lethal.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Tuesday, 22. August 2017, 10:40.
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Friday 27th October 2017
3. Liga
Chemnitzer FC 1 v 0 Rot-Weiss Erfurt
Christof Günsch (Battenberg); Jonas Schieder, Patrick Hanslbauer.

With Chemnitz and Erfurt being roughly 90 miles apart, there was a certain derby element to this fixture. Moreover with 16th entertaining 18th (in a league of 20, with three relegation spots) there was plenty at stake, though the first quarter gave no hint that this was the case. Erfurt looked the better side, Chemnitz barely looked a side at all. Herr Günsch had little to do, yet managed to irritate with excessively loud and long blasts for the most trivial of things in what seems to be the expected German way. It does prompt the question "How do you show awareness of a more serious offence?" On 25 minutes we found out - by racing to the scene with yellow card in the air. The more serious offence? Walking away with the ball at a throw in - he had gone almost 3 metres before it was grabbed from him. The card can be justified, but was it really necessary? Having looked aimless until this point, Chemnitz finally put a good move together on 36 minutes, only to blast wildly over when the keeper parried the first effort. Erfurt had a chance of their own a minute later, but they too were unable to keep the ball down.

The first forty minutes of the second half produced four yellow cards for fouls, three by Erfurt and one by Chemnitz - and precious little else. The fourth of these was an attack-stopper by the Erfurt number 18, who probably wishes he hadn't bothered as the free-kick led to a goal for the home side. One further yellow was issued, for handball by the home number 8, before the final whistle was blown.

At 31, Herr Günsch is actually in his second season on the Zweitliga list of referees. He probably performed to the expected standard,but did not engender any great enthusiasm in this watcher. After the numerous changes at the top level in the last three years as a large cohort of referees born in 68-70 retired, there are no age-related departures due for four seasons, so it would need an extraordinary talent to force a way in. Herr Günsch does not seem to fit that description - but German Beobachter may well take a different view.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Tuesday, 7. November 2017, 07:49.
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A combination of trains and bus led to the pleasant setting for

Saturday 28th October 2017
Regionalliga Nord-Ost
VfB Auerbach 1906 2 v 2 SV Babelsberg 03
Philipp Kutscher (Berlin); Matthias Lämmchen, Jan Kanzler.

Three gentlemen in very casual attire (the dress code for English officials, even at a lower level, looks more professional) were strolling on the pitch as a way into the home section of the ground was finally located. The one who turned out to be AR1 prevailed upon a club official to take their photo in one of the dugouts. The referee looks older than his 26 years, especially as he has grown a smart beard, which would see the casting director pencil him in for the role of smiling assassin. The shirts chosen were the coral ones, both assistants opting for long sleeves.

Herr Kutscher expended more breath to signal the kick-off than JCFC can muster at the annual asthma review, and continued in similar vein as Auerbach were repeatedly caught offside. The home side made a number of challenges that might euphemistically be described as "uncompromising." One such in the third minute bizarrely earned them a free-kick: the referee must have seen an earlier offence. Babelsberg decided that this looked fun and joined in with a will, their number 26 being chided for a holding offence, followed by an angry confrontation between the home 9 and away 10. The Babelsberg number 6 was very late with a 10th minute tackle, curiously not noticed by the officials, but another such by their number 14 on the quarter hour did produce a free-kick and a brief word of warning. In and among there were some moments of decent football, with Babelsberg looking the better side, and they took the lead through a strong header on quarter time. Auerbach responded with spirit, equalising with a low shot on the half-hour. Three minutes later a Babelsberg attacker appeared to look for something to fall over as the ball ran through to the keeper. Herr Kutscher was close to play and awarded a none too convincing penalty. Babelsberg made no mistake from the spot and Herr Kutscher was pursued back to halfway by two angry Auerbach players, who did not appear to be wishing him a happy weekend. It took a great dive by the visiting keeper to prevent a second equaliser. The game's first yellow appeared on 38 minutes, the Babelsberg number 20 having caught an opponent with an arm.

The general indiscipline continued in the second half, with the Auerbach 31 and the Babelsberg 24 going chest to chest, during which the home captain attempted to take the free-kick, blasting it at the nearest opponent. One had to sympathise with Herr Kutscher, as it was not easy to separate the fouls from the histrionics. A verbal confrontation in the Babelsberg box after the ball had long departed saw a defender drag the home player away - technically it should have been a penalty, but it went unnoticed. On 51minutes Babelsberg claimed a penalty for handball, the defender having been some distance from the shot, but after a moment's hesitation a corner was awarded. Auerbach were looking dangerous too, with several good crosses. The 66th minute brought a yellow card for a foul by the home number 5, his victiim's death agonies provoking further confrontations. Auerbach gained a deserved equaliser with an excellent diving header with a quarter of an hour to go. The Babelsberg number 9 received a yellow card for chirruping once too often, as did their number 24 for a tug back. Both keepers had important touches to make. The Babelsberg number 24 looked to be badly fouled on the touchline, but Herr Lämmchen did not react and nothing was given. The response came a few seconds later, the Babelsberg number 10 seeking vengeance with the crudest of tackles. Mayhem duly ensued, with Herr Lämmchen in the midst of an angry mob of Babelsberg players demanding to know why he had not flagged, while Auerbach wanted their part of the action too. Eventually the Babelsberg number 10 was given a yellow card. As the allotted additional time drew to its close, Babelsberg were awarded a free-kick near halfway. The kicker tried to move the ball forward 15 yards, Herr Kutscher rolled it back only for the kicker to repeat the offence. Would this be another yellow? No, Herr Kutscher had a better trick up his sleeve and blew for full-time, as he was entitled to do, provoking angry scenes from visiting players and manager. A fitting end to a game described by the local teletext as turbulent.

Herr Kutscher had a difficult time of things, and his approach lacked consistency, but it did have the advantage of creating a vastly entertaining game. It has been a long time since JCFC has laughed out loud so much during a game. So thanks to him for that, but the search for the new Markus Merk continues.

With an overnight storm forecast to involve hurricane-force winds and structural damage, it remains to be seen whether Sunday's match will survive.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Tuesday, 7. November 2017, 07:55.
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Well, to paraphrase Arkwright, it was a funny old weekend. JCFC went to sleep on Saturday night in the bosom of a feisty female named Grischa, but woke to find that some transgender process had taken place and that Grischa was now a violent fellow called Herwart. The planned match at Bautzen did survive, but the German rail system did not. At 7am all trains in Saxony were ordered to stop and wait at the next station, which they did for the rest of the day. JCFC therefore spent a jolly couple of hours in a queue for a refund of his train ticket.

By Monday things were more or less back to normal. When planning the trip, JCFC had spotted a 20.15 kick-off on Monday and had accordingly booked accommodation in Mainz. It subsequently dawned on him that this was to be shown live on SPORT 1 and with the prospect of avoiding two longish walks and a very late night, the spirit weakened. The hotel, however, had other ideas, with the SPORT 1 channel having no signal. Plan A was therefore revived for a trip to

Monday 30th October 2017
Regionalliga Süd-West
VfR Wormatia Worms 1 v 0 SV Elversberg
Michael Kimmeyer (Karlsruhe); Andreas Reuter, Simon Karcher.

The colour scheme for the evening was pale blue, the assistants again opting for long sleeves. The slight, fairish-haired figure of young Herr Kimmeyer, however, had the shortest of short sleeves, but that was just about the only bad decision he made all night.

From the start he proved very sharp on barges in the back, the stroppy response from the first offender, the Elversberg number 5, being firmly dealt with. There might conceivably have been a card for the Worms number 20, for a stretching foul as the ball ran away from him, though there was no great force, but otherwise the first half was pleasant but uneventful, with neither keeper taxed and Worms in particular looking clueless in front of goal.

The home fans had their first moment of excitement in the 53rd minute, lasting only until they realised that the ball had hit the side netting. A flag for a foul from Herr Karcher saw the home number14 receive the game's first yellow on the hour. The Elversberg striker was in on goal with only the keeper to beat, but it was the keeper who came out on top, play instantly switching to the other end, where Worms missed badly. There was a flurry of yellows, two to Elversberg, one to Worms, before the home keeper made a splendid reaction save from a powerful header. With a scoreless draw looking certain, Worms took the lead out of the blue on 86 minutes and despite a late caution for their number 23, they hung on to win.

The assistants presented a contrast. AR1 had an odd stooping posture and made no attempt to switch hands. He received abuse from the fans over one offside flag, but the decision was absolutely correct. AR2, on the other hand, looked agile and alert and switched hands slickly in an impressive display - a name to watch out for. As for Herr Kimmeyer, he was very good. He was consistent in his interpretation of foul play and, mercy of mercies, varied his whistle tone sensibly. He had a good turn of pace when needed, and an effective reverse gear. He looked at least the equal of some higher ranked referees.

The walks from and to the station did not prove too arduous and JCFC reached his hotel not long after the night porter had changed into a pumpkin, so things had worked out well. With Germany currently in the throes of Luther frenzy, "What of the Diet of Worms?" you may ask. Well, this worm's diet at the match was Currywurst and chips. Not a patch on Glossop pies, but better than often endured in Germany.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Wednesday, 1. November 2017, 04:54.
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Arriving very early in a small town on a public holiday when everything is shut, there is nothing for it but to go to Am Schießhaus (checking carefully that predictive text has done nothing unsuitable) there to await

Tuesday 31st October 2017
Oberliga Rheinland-Pfalz/Saar
TSG Pfeddersheim 0 v 3 SC 07 Idar-Oberstein
Tom Bauer (Neuhofen); Julian Kuhn, Nico Bauer.

Idar-Oberstein is a somewhat larger combination of two locations noted for gemstones, with a fine gemstone museum. Pfeddersheim's ground was a pleasant place to be on a sunny afternoon, with no stand, but benches scattered around the ground. The clubhouse boasts a new extension and the view is of wooded banks on the other three sides. A spot to be recommended, though probably not on a cold, rainy day.

A distant rumbling proclaimed not thunder but the arrival of the officials in the standard jeans and anorak style (Herr Kuhn preferring a hooded cardigan) but each with a bag on wheels. Have they no shame? As JCFC was ordering a coffee, the officials came in from their stroll on the pitch. Herr Kuhn had a not-quite-a-beard and a cheerful manner, his junior colleague initially looking a little serious, but gradually relaxing. It was hard to know what to make of the referee at this stage: he had the manner of someone who knows he has been blessed with half-decent looks (the modish tuft on his chin apart) and intends to make use of them. The offer of coffee from the ladies at the counter was greeted with a flashing smile and eager acceptance. This had its effect, as one lady made him a further offer, receiving the reply "That would be a dream, but not before a match." JCFC 's German was not able to ascertain just what she was proposing - but it may have had something to do with the later appearance of an impressive cake. Herr Bauer's smile reappeared with the arrival of the Beobachter and throughout extended chats with assorted club officials and coaches.The Beobachter, by the way, had to pay for his pre-match coffee. JCFC was left wondering whether Herr Bauer was simply a very nice chap or out to gain maximum marks, both seeming possible when the visitors failed to answer his summons to take the field, but ultimately it mattered not a jot, as he went on to referee the match splendidly.

Before the match JCFC had thought it pessimistic that the scoreboard gave the score as 0-1. This was changed in time for the (5 minutes late because of Idar-Oberstein) start. Had they but waited eleven minutes,it would have been accurate as the visitors converted a penalty. For the rest of the half Pfeddersheim did most of the attacking, but were denied by good saves, blocks, the frame of the goal, a bad miss by their striker when clear and a missing inch on an attacker's jump to nod in a cross. In desperation there was even a dive, but Herr Bauer was not fooled. There was one caution in the half, the visiting number 16 not retreating at a free-kick.

There is no evidence that the visiting number 22 was called Moses, but a minute after the resumption the Red Sea of the Pfeddersheim defence parted before him and he finished well. On 50 minutes a high foot brought a yellow card for the home number 13 and a free-kick, which Idar-Oberstein fired home for their third. There was a yellow card for the visiting number 22 for a triple holding offence on the excellent home 20, with Herr Bauer splendidly in to forestall any possible retaliation. One further yellow went to the visiting number 5 as the match drew to a peaceful conclusion.

Neither assistant switched hands; AR2, the referee's younger brother?,did contribute a couple of flags for fouls, AR1 should perhaps have done so once or twice. Herr Bauer took his personal qualities onto the pitch, communicating in a way not always apparent in Germany. He was quick to indicate no foul in the early stages,employing a shoulder-high beckoning gesture, and showed first-rate triage throughout. His movement was good, if not quite on a par with Herr Kimmeyer's the previous evening and his whistle tone was varied appropriately. An excellent display and a worthy addition to the ranks of the Toms. Mr Kirk's number 3 position might be under threat. If this match was typical of his refereeing, it is hard to fathom why Herr Bauer has not yet progressed to the Regionalliga and beyond.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Wednesday, 1. November 2017, 06:25.
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Two previous visits to SC07 had been at the Hermann-Löns Stadion with its unusual feature of players and officials (referees Gunnar Melms and Lutz Rosenkrantz - Guildenstern was not dead yet either) entering the pitch via a bridge over the spectators and descending a spiral staircase. Their relatively new Arena offered no such idiosyncrasies for

Tuesday 6th March 2018
Dritte Bundesliga
SC07 Paderborn 1 v 1 1.FC Magdeburg
Michael Bacher (Amerang); Lothar Ostheimer, Jochen Gschwendtner.

This was the top match of the third division programme to date, the sides lying equal on points in first and second places. I had expected, therefore, that a higher-level referee would be appointed. The fact that it was the 27years old Herr Bacher in his second season on the third division list perhaps augurs well for next season.

He had a word in the first minute with the Magdeburg number 8, for a foul which did not merit more, despite the home side's histrionic protests. Magdeburg were making the brighter start and had two chances within a minute, but put both of them wide. On 12 minutes Herr Bacher had a word of warning with the Magdeburg right back: the foul didn't really require it, but it forestalled an imminent incident over a quick free-kick, so credit for quick thinking. Magdeburg continued to look the more secure side and it took a super save by the Paderborn keeper to keep them out. Gradually Paderborn settled and the second quarter was more even, a Magdeburg player receiving a yellow card for kicking the ball away.

Immediately after the restart a nifty turn gave Paderborn their best opening to date, but the ball passed the wrong side of the post. Play fluctuated, Paderborn heading a corner wide and clever footwork created an opening for Magdeburg, the shot bouncing down and out off the crossbar. On the hour Magdeburg lifted a free-kick across the area, number 37 rising to head home. His side's spell in front was short-lived, Paderborn drawing level just three minutes later. On 67minutes the Magdeburg number 16 palmed the ball away as Paderborn took a throw-in. Herr Ostheimer was admirably quick to step in front to restrain the home player, Herr Bacher strolling over and eventually showing the yellow card to the offender. Paderborn were finishing more strongly, but could only poke the ball wide from short range. There was one more yellow, for a stoppage-time foul by the home number 7.

Despite his laid-back manner, Herr Bacher controlled the game well: few if any mistakes once he had decided not to reward falling over, and some good advantages played. Given that he displayed the elan and joie de vivre that goes down well in Germany (I.e. virtually nil) his prospects look good, though he did let himself down with a smile late on. He would appear to be a very effective referee, though JCFC couldn't quite see why. A German Martyn Rawcliffe,perhaps.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Wednesday, 7. March 2018, 10:39.
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The following evening, however, a seemingly mundane match a tier lower did receive a second division referee:

Wednesday 7th March 2018
Regionalliga West
SV Westfalia Rhynern 1 v 0 SC Wiedenbrück
Thorben Siewer (Olpe); Fabian Maibaum, Vanessa Arlt.

Rhynern is a smallish community on the outskirts of Hamm, with its ground set among trees on the fringe of the village. They lie bottom of the league and look certain to drop back down to the Oberliga.

Where the previous night's officials had gone for tarte au citron, this trio had chosen tomato soup. Herr Maibaum was tall, balding and in need of a shave, none of which could be said of AR2.

The whistle section of the score had clearly been marked fortissimo and sostenuto and Herr Siewert proceeded to blow long and hard every time, which always seems counterproductive. Wiedenbrrück we're looking the stronger outfit and netted twice in the first quarter only to be denied by Herr Maibaum's offside flag. Gradually the home side grew in confidence, hitting the crossbar on 39 minutes. Three home players saw yellow for fouls in the first half: all justifiable,but perhaps only the third one essential.
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There was an early yellow this time for the visiting number 6. A challenge by the previously-cautioned home number 5 next produced an exaggerated yelp of agony. Herr Siewer read it correctly, awarding a free-kick and dealing well with Wiedenbrück bosses who wanted more. Instead it was the visiting number 9 who saw yellow a minute later.Rhynern took the lead on 58 minutes, the shot going in via post and keeper. Wiedenbrück immediately won a free-kick but their skipper was cautioned for his comments. The visitors looked for the equaliser, thereby offering further chances to Rhynern. There were no further goals, however, but the final three minutes produced a further four yellows, two per side, as things grew a little tetchy - and JCFC would have liked an extra one for the home substitute who charged towards the referee waving an imaginary card.

It had been a curious game. Herr Siewer did more talking than some of his colleagues - though not at cautions -and moved in quickly when there were potential incidents.The final total of yellow cards did seem high, however, as it was not a particularly nasty game. JCFC did approve though of his unwillingness to allow dissent.Perhaps he will have a quieter game next time out.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Thursday, 8. March 2018, 19:56.
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For 30 euros I had made the 5 hour journey from Hamm to Munich, aboard a train which had started at Darmstadt (imagine an express from say Chelmsford to Brighton going via Preston.) The objective had been TSV 1860's Regionalliga match, but the advertised tickets were no longer available, so a Plan B was sought. Somewhere around Plan H came success at last, in the form of

Friday 9th March 2018
Bayern Landesliga Mitte
TSV Kareth-Lappersdorf 1 v 0 TSV Waldkirchen
Roland Gawlik (Wilhermsdorf); Johannes Schoppel, Johannes Wellmann.

There may just conceivably be the odd person who has not heard of Kareth, nor even Lappersdorf (24 hours ago I was amongst them.) They are in fact Northern suburbs of Regensburg, easily reached by bus, whence the way of course lay uphill, but this time the path was smooth and the sports centre was reached painlessly.

The Landesliga is two tiers down from the Regionalliga, with neither seating nor cover from the light drizzle available, but with a decent free programme. Early thoughts that the officials had been at the lemon tart again had to be revised in favour of scrambled egg, as Herr Gawlik's legs were completely covered in caviar - not even Mick Denton goes that far!

The visitors, from near the borders with Austria and the Czech Republic, were second in the table, six places above the home side and certainly looked the stronger team. On 9 minutes there was a huge collision, Herr Gawlik being quickly on the spot to keep handbags to a minimum. It looked as if the visiting player was badly hurt, but he recovered after a minute. While this was genuine, every collision, foul or near miss resulted in tedious yelps of agony, both sides being guilty but the visitors more so. Oh, for a little stoicism. The first half produced chances aplenty for Waldkirchen and a yellow for each side, both correct.

The second period produced more of the same, with four further yellows for the visitors. Towards the end there was a srange moment as Waldkirchen took a free-kick from halfway. An elderly steward was on the pitch removing a ball which had been recovered from the top pitch. Herr Wellmann flagged, Herr Gawlik took it as offside, so the assistant ran into the field to stop the free-kick. Herr Gawlik came to see what was amiss, departed to the opposite assistant for a discussion before restarting with a drop ball, which the home side were only too happy to return to the visiting keeper. JCFC might have been inclined to find a reason to have the kick retaken. On 90 minutes a somewhat rare home attack set up a chance for them to head a surprise winner.

At 37 Herr Gawlik's chances of advancement are virtually nil, though he performed well enough in this match, with an impressive reverse gear. Hopefully, though, he can continue to referee at his current level for many more years - that's if stocks of caviar hold out!

And it was downhill all the way to the bus stop.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Saturday, 10. March 2018, 10:55.
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Apologies for flagrantly hi-jacking this area of the forum JCFC but do you have any experience of attending top-flight fixtures in Germany ? I'm thinking of attending a Hamburg game and wondered if you had any sage offerings on where/when/how to buy tickets.
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No sage offerings, but a reply of sorts sent by pm system.
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Saturday 10th March 2018
Regionalliga Bayern
TSV 1860 Rosenheim 2 v 2 VfR Garching
Johannes Huber (München); Pantelis Gitopoulos, Benjamin Sölch.

The high point of the afternoon came immediately on arrival: the refreshment hut was offering not the dreaded Bratwurst, but a variety of cakes - the lemon one was delicious. That could not be said for the lemons on which the officials had dined, as they must have been unripe, with a lurid green tinge. For once bmb's aversion to yellow shirts appeared justified.

The home side went ahead on 11 minutes, the Garching keeper letting a corner pass between his gloves to leave a simple finish. The keeper soon did better, diving to turn a shot round the post.Rosenheim doubled their lead on 20 minutes, when a defender's clearance was partially blocked. Garching pulled one back on 36 minutes, a corner being headed in at the second attempt. In the closing minutes of the half there were two yellows forthe home side for rash challenges.

There was confusion early in the second half. Herr Huber rightlly decided that an attack-stopping foul by the Garching number 4 deserved a yellow card and while he was waving this, a different visiting player fell to the ground and an exchange of views followed. Both assistants approached to view matters: AR1 was consulted, AR2 was not. Herr Huber then waved a red card at a group of players, the home 45 seeming to be the target. He, however, led a couple of colleagues to remonstrate with Herr Huber. Meanwhile a different Rosenheim player removed his shirt and went to the dugout, whence neither referee nor assistant chose to remove him. Spurred on by this, Garching had a number of dangerous attacks, with one header coming back off the post, but also acquired two yellows of their own. On 75minutes a good hooked shot gave them their equaliser. A further yellow for Garching followed, chances were created and missed, with a strong penalty appeal on 93minutes being turned down as Rosenheim clung on for a point.

Some time ago Herr Huber had a couple of seasons on the third division list, before moving down. Unlike the two others who suffered a similar fate, he did not bounce straight back and is probably unlikely to do so, though he is still just 31 (but looking older.) He did not do badly overall, but was in no way outstanding. As a final gripe, the habit of waving a card at cautions may be expected at high levels, but is infuriating for spectators.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Monday, 12. March 2018, 10:40.
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When planning this jaunt in mid January, the final (you will be pleased to hear) night's accommodation had been booked to allow me to attend a Bayernliga match at Erlangen on Sunday. As can often be the case, though, this match was switched back to Saturday, leaving only one accessible option, a step further down the scale:

Sunday 11th March 2018
Landesliga Bayern Nord-Ost
ASV Veitsbronn-Siegelsdorf 1946 2 v 0 TSV 1862 Sonnefeld
Markus Haase (Burglengenfeld); Philipp Götz, Tobias Thanner.

Once again, some unfamiliar place names were involved: Veitsbronn and Siegelsdorf are villages some kilometres to the West of Nürnberg. Siegelsdorf has the railway station, Veilsbronn the football ground, some distance beyond the far side of the village - and naturally uphill - but it was a pleasant half-hour stroll. Sonnefeld lies further North, in the vicinity of Coburg. The free programme for this, their first match for almost four months, expressed envy that the visitors had already reached 30 points as against the home side's 18, leaving them in a "cosy no man's land" - a curious juxtaposition of words to devotees of Eric Bogle - or certain poets. The home club's badge being green and white, with supporters wearing green scarves, it was only to be expected that the team should play in orange!

As to the officials, Herr Haase seemed a cheery wee soul in his mid thirties, with two younger assistants. On a recent visit to Bury market, the home club's caterers had moved heaven and earth to lay in a supply of black pudding for the officials. (There's something approaching a joke hidden in there if you look hard enough, but like most of my attempts at humour, the search would not be worth the effort.)

Surprisingly, perhaps, it was the home side that had the better of the first quarter, though with nothing to show for it. After a Sonnefeld foul, JCFC approved of Herr Haase's gentle word with the offender, and a much stronger warning to his team-mate who looked to get involved. Sonnefeld's first shot was not until the 21st minute and was well tipped over by the keeper. Veitsbronn retaliated with a long-range effort which the goalkeeper did well to tip round the post. The home side's finishing left something to be desired. First a stray back-pass gave them an opportunity, but the attacker panicked and blasted the ball over; then on 37 minutes Sonnefeld's offside trap failed leaving three attackers with just the keeper to beat. Again panic set in and the ball was sent high and a long way wide, to the resigned derision of home supporters. Herr Haase meanwhile had a word with the visiting captain for dissent towards the assistant. He had had a very good half, keeping things in order in a quiet manner.

The pep talk at half time must have concerned the lack of yelping, as the home side began to suffer whenever opponents went near them - and as the disease quickly spread to the other team there were more free-kicks awarded. A rebound set a home attacker clear on half way, but a semi-block by the keeper allowed a defender time to get back and complete the clearance. On the hour a trip just outside the box by a Sonnefeld defender earned him a yellow card, the free-kick clearing the defenders to leave a curiously simple tap-in at the far post to give Veitsbronn the lead. The home number 8 received a yellow for a 66th minute foul. The 77th minute brought the game's best move - Veitsbronn putting together a succession of swift and accurate passes and a great cross - which the unopposed striker proceeded to lift way over the bar, to much further good-natured derision. When on 84 minutes a clumsy barge resulted in a penalty for Veitsbronn, the question was whether they had anybody that could find the net: they had and he did. In the closing stages Sonnefeld came close, a shot being blocked by the foot of the prostrate keeper, who managed to regain his feet in time to leap and palm the rebound shot for a corner.

Herr Haase had been kept a bit busier in the second half, with a more staccato game as a result. If there was the suspicion that once or twice he was reacting to the cries of pain, his decisions were mostly pretty accurate and accepted as such by the players.

It had been a pleasant afternoon in balmy surroundings; the one drawback was the recurring smoke and smell of burning fat from the Bratwurst stall. Let them eat cake!
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Tuesday, 13. March 2018, 17:57.
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My second attempt at a PM is not showing on Message tracking, so I shall try it here.

Sorry about that - I was in a dimly-lit hotel room and must have gone wrong somewhere, Maybe the system is looking for a Fitlad.

I have only been to one top division match and that was a relatively low-key affair at Hoffenheim, where it was possible to pay at the kiosk on the day.

I have used club websites to purchase tickets for 2nd and 3rd Division matches. Some are unhelpful and the system varies: Some clubs - Bielefeld for one - use a collect on the day system, others, as in my recent Paderborn match, offer the simpler print at home option.

I do not know about Sankt Pauli or HSV from experience, but I did have a play with the HSV site, which sadly was one of the less straightforward ones. It was necessary to register (my late mother is now on their books!) Tickets then seemed to go on open sale fot the next 4 or 5 weeks. The prices for seats seemed steep to ne, but perhaps you Lancastrians are less parsimonious than I am - around 53 euros, with an extra 5 for delivery. There was a section headed delivery options, but this could not be accessed until payment details had been submitted, so I went no further. They may send by post, nut who knows? Sorry mot to be more helpful at this stage, but if you need help once you have your dates settled, do feel free to contact me again and I will try to do better!

Whatever happens, I look forward to reading your experiences on The Wurst of Times!

Good luck and best wishes,
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Wednesday, 14. March 2018, 09:00.
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With the Regionalliga fixtures complete and their play-offs not till next week, planning centred on finding an Oberliga with a Friday night match. Hessen provided that - but the game was subsequently moved back to Saturday. It was necessary, therefore to drop down a level again for

Friday 18th May 2018
Hessen Verbandsliga Süd
Usinger TSG 1846 4 v 1 SV Eintracht Wald-Michelbach
Andre Klein (Offenbach); Younes Moullig, Thomas Stief.

Having taken a wrong turning, I found myself heading in totally the wrong direction, with two kilometres to go back. Nevertheless the ground was reached 85 minutes before the appointed 20.00 start. The home team was there in force, the visitors' coach was in evidence some minutes later. The three officials in the normal smart casual attire - perhaps more the latter than the former - were walking the pitch before settling down on the home bench where they remained until 19.33. This seemed odd, as t9?he clubhouse was quite a trek away, down a steep path and across another pitch. The game finally got under way fifteen seconds short of 20 minutes behind schedule. All of which explains why I was not by then in the best of humours. Usingen had a header tipped over after 2 :-)minutes and went ahead just before the quarter hour. By then it had become apparent that Herr Moullig had some notion about flag handling but was inconsistent, while Herr Stief had none. A trip far removed from the ball rightly saw the visiting number 8 receive a caution. His side had a great chance to equalise, but pulled it wide. On 31 minutes Usingen's number :-)8 brought the ball down well to score their second goal, followed by a delay as the keeper had to be replaced. Eintracht were denied by a good reaction save and just before the break their number 33 was injured and also had to be replaced, an Usingen player receiving a yellow card for his contribution. Half time came at 21.05 ... and off they all trooped down the hill.

The restart came at 21.27 - the officials rather than the teams having lost a further three and three quarter minutes. The Eintracht number 7 quickly received a correct yellow. Herr Klein failed to spot Herr Moullig's offside flag, Herr Stief shouting "Andre, Andre" from the other half as Usingen went on to net. Eintracht's third yellow followed for their number 14, the Usingen player once again wailing ridiculously, before an instant recovery. The home side's third came on 68 minutes, Eintracht pulling one back on 77 minutes. A home player saw yellow for not retreating and with seven minutes to go, I had to leave to get back to the station for the last train, thereby missing a further visiting caution and an added-time fourth for their hosts.

Herr Klein did not match his name, being tall, and was bestubbled. He had a decent turn of speed when required, but used it sparingly. The same could not be said of his whistle, which was blown repeatedly in the expected German style.He did perhaps appear to be over-influenced by the home players' low pain threshold and high volume, but overall handled the match quite well. A little more sense of urgency might have led to a better verdict. Sadly there was nothing in the match to cause Herr Klein to lose - or demonstrate - his bottle. One for the topologists there!
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Saturday, 26. May 2018, 22:34.
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Herr Klein from Offenbach-must have been a petite fonctionaire.
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It was back up to the Oberliga for

Saturday 19th May 2018
Hessenliga
SV Buchonia Flieden 0 v 4 SV Rot Weiss Hadamar
Patrick Werner (Nauheim); Florian Tesch, Timo Hager.

Arriving too early, I was able to watch a junior game on the adjacent artificial pitch.The home youngsters, 8ish perhaps, were in royal blue, their opponents in mid-blue, so the referee chose ... blue. It mattered not a jot: the players knew who was who and the referee was more likely to be taken for an over 80 than an under 8, his role being to keep the score and let the boys play. Good on him! The home.side were much better, the biggest cheer coming when the visitors eventually managed a goal, but all enjoyed themselves and had not yet learnt - or worse been taught- to banned c word.

The Oberliga match was naturally rather different. Within 3minutes Hadamar had scored twice through weather home defence. The Flieden number 18 and the visiting number5 received a no more warning on 6 minutes. A home defender was substituted on 10 minutes - and proceeded to test the strength of the perimeter metal advertising boards. It made little difference, the home keeper being obliged to make a save just a minute later. On the quarter hour Flieden looked for a penalty and their number 5 was warned for his subsequent reaction. The home side then put a header just wide. The first yellow appeared on 17 minutes for a foul by the Flieden number 15. Herr Werner's whistle was much in evidence - with justification this time as the game turned into a cross between pin-ball and British bulldogs. Flieden had a great chance, but a lovely cross was headed over. On 28 minutes two home defenders beat each other, allowing Hadamar their third.Just after the half hour a violent charge by the Hadamar number 5 on the touchline led to mayhem as there was retaliation from home players and the occupants of the nearby home bench, the visiting officials taking a little longer to get to the scene. The assistants, too,came to observe. Things eventually calmed down, but there was a long delay as the original offender remained flat out, either of necessity or tactically. The show switched to the terrace at this point. A middle-aged man was heading towards the scene, but his way was blocked by the chest of a younger club official, who sent him away. A minute later he appeared at the back of the terrace, with the same result. This time he kicked the young man's bag down the terraces. Unfortunately it contained three framed photos intended as gifts for the trainers and much glass was broken. Eventually the game restarted with ten a side, the Hadamar number 5 and the Flieden number 15 having been requested to leave.

Things were quieter the second half and the whistle could be toned down. Hadamar had one ruled out for offside, added a fourth on 70 minutes and picked up three yellows along the way.

Herr Werner bears a resemblance from a distance to a young Dr Merk. He is light on his feet, with a good reverse gear and worked well with his two efficient assistants. It was a testing match for him in the early stages, but he weathered it well, emerging with credit in the end.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Saturday, 26. May 2018, 22:40.
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The Cup Final, watched on TV was pretty exciting. A rapid attack gave Frankfurt an early lead, Bayern eventually equalising. Late on another quick break put Frankfurt ahead once more. Herr Zwayer had made one trip to the touchline, quickly deciding to stand by his decision. In the fourth minute of added time, Bayern surrounded him, claiming a penalty as contact had been made with their man's heel in attempting to clear a knee-high ball. In Sellar and Yeatman's terms, Herr Dankert took the Roundhead position - Right but Repulsive - while after a brief look at the screen Herr Zwayer went for the Cavalier approach - Wrong but Wromantic - and confirmed his corner decision. Paradoxically, it was for me an incorrect decision, but the right one. The keeper was up for the corner, Frankfurt won the ball and raced away to score. The scorer disappeared into a celebrating crowd and the match ended at that point.

On the appointments thread there is a suggestion that Herr Zwayer had a bit of a nightmare. This can be taken in different ways: he certainly had a nightmare decision to make, but not a nightmare of a game.

As one used to the courtesies of cricket, rugby and lower level football, is it normal at the top level for the losing team to depart before the winners receive their medals? The sight of weeping Bayern players slumped on the escalator did not create the best of impressions.
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Sunday's only Hessenliga match was at a ground conveniently close to the station. What was termed euphemistically "an emergency doctor" situation meant that the line was closed, a tram had to be taken to the town boundary, leaving a long walk to the ground for

Sunday 20th May 2018
Hessenliga
Spvgg Neu-Isenburg 1 v 4 VFB Ginsheim
Jan Lübberstedt (Neuhof); Andreas Böck, Lars-Hendrik Köpsel.

As the officials took their pre-match refreshment, their attire once again was of interest. The referee's smart casual had a slightly crumpled look; SRA2 did better, with tidy hair and natty khaki shorts with suitably Jacob-like legs; SRA1 however proved that assistants were underpaid, as he could not afford to replace his jeans, which were badly torn and looked as if he had come from painting the shed - a shame, as his neat fair hair would otherwise have made him a prospective mother-in-law's dream.

Ginsheim failed to take a great chance in the first minute, but took the lead five minutes later. An attempt by the visiting number 4 to remove the shirt from an opponent's back soon earned the game's first yellow card. Neu-Isenburg directed a point-blank header into the keeper's midriff, but got their equaliser on 21 minutes. Herr Lübberstedt made a decent tackle on the home number19 and on the half hour was correct to award a penalty for a push from behind, from which the visitors took the lead once more - whether the.yellow for the defender was strictly correct is debatable. Ginsheim added a third before half-time.

The main feature of the second half was an endless stream of weird hand signals, mimes and laughter from Herr Lübberstedt towards Herr Köpsel. In and among Ginsheim added a fourth. The only scream came from a visiting player after a sliding tackle. Whatever Herr Lübberstedt said to him made his keeper laugh and quickly brought him to his feet again.

Before the start the PA announced that this was to be Herr Lübberstedt's last Hessenliga match. Retirement at 26? Relocation? Imminent demotion? Or injury problems - several times he bent over with hands on thighs, as if to ease a sore back. Whatever the reason, it is a pity, as JCFC greatly enjoyed the way he refereed the game and would have been more than happy to have him turn up at Brighouse Town - but In collar and tie!

Fortunately the trains were running again by full time and the journey North to Dortmund went well.
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Monday, 21. May 2018, 10:24.
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Whit Monday offered a good choice of matches in Westfalen including

Monday 21st May 2018
Oberliga Westfalen
SC Westfalia Herne 1904 2 v 5 ASC 09 Dortmund
Philipp Hüwe (Coesfeld); Felix Weller, Florian Schreiber.

The match was played not in Herne but at Bövinghausen, where the local team was already half way through a match when I arrived an hour before the start. A small ground with no seating and little shade from the hot sun was already crowded. With no room for warm-ups, the main event was delayed until 15.11.

Herr Hüwe is a Regionalliga referee.and second Bundesliga assistant, who had only been seen on the line in the past. Conversely 22 year old Herr Weller had been seen in the middle at this level last season; his appointment on the line does not indicate a demotion - on the contrary, he has just been informed that he isto be promoted to the Regionalliga for next season. The tall Herr Schreiber is 26, but has outgrown his hair, so looks older, and is a prominent Futsal referee. Unsurprisingly they turned out to be comfortably the best of the four referee teams seen on this visit.

Herr Hüwe gave a strong blast on his whistle after5 minutes and had a stern word with the Herne trainer. There followed a yellow on 9 minutes, the Herne number 33 having raised a foot to prevent a clearance by the keeper. ASC were looking the better side, but Herne did manage to blast a shot against a defender, unreasonably claiming a penalty, Herr Hüwe not unreasonably rejecting their claims. A water break was taken midway through the half - this spectator could have done with one - and play resumed with a great run and cross by the ASC winger only for the ball to be badly scuffed by his colleague. The ASC number 6 received a yellow card for holding on 26 minutes. A minute later the visitors had a man through, pulled down by the Herne number 2, Herr Hüwe promptly and correctly fishing out his red card. The visitors continued to press with a series of inventive passes and finally made the breakthrough on the half hour, the second goal soon following.

The third came early in the second half, but as the hour approached, a burst of music greeted a Herne goal. Thoughts of a come-back lasted just seconds, the Herne number 3 being shown a.yellow card after an advantage - the latest in a line of offences. As the wall was moved back, a strange old gentleman began to shout "Offside! Offside! The yellow is offside!" This was perhaps true but not strictly relevant, as the yellow in question was the referee and it became less relevant still as the free-kick was fired straight in for ASC's fourth. After a further water break, a visiting defender received a yellow, again after an advantage and Herne grabbed a slightly untidy second goal. Again ASC responded quickly,getting a fifth despite the keeper's heroics. The Herne keeper was then replaced by a younger lad. After two minutes he charged from the area to affect a sliding challenge on an advancing striker, bringing him down comprehensively,. Herne supporters feared the worst and were relieved to see the yellow card appear. There was a minor spat on the touchline, Herr Weller moving in quickly to prevent any escalation.

Herr Hüwe handled the match in a mature and intelligent manner, avoiding the excessive whistling of most of his colleagues. He did,though, seem somewhat stony-faced - smiling does not seem to be encouraged!
Edited by Jim Carr Fan Club, Tuesday, 22. May 2018, 04:37.
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