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Kidou Keiji Jiban Movie; needing a little help!
Topic Started: Jun 1 2011, 04:23 AM (992 Views)
Dark_Crono
/m/ember
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Hi! I'm from a brazilian fansub called Daigeki. I also do some work on the brazilian fansub Onmitsu, that some of you may know for their english & portuguese subtitle work on two Yuusha series (Figh Bird and J-Decker). Well, my fansub is also planning on release a english & portuguese little project. It's a movie based on the Metal Hero tokusatsu series Kidou Keiji Jiban.

So, I'm just needing a little QC help on the english subtitle, since it's not my native language. The translation was done by Chirlind, that also made some work on another mecha shows here on /m/subs, like Great Mazinger. That's why I'm asking for help here, since some of you guys may know her. The most help I'm needing is some quality-checking on the grammar... I would also accept a japanese checking, although I think this part is ok.

The fansub will complete 2 years on June 16, and my initial planning is to release this movie and other projects on this date, as an anniversary gift. So, is there anyone that could help me until this date? I'm really sorry if it's near the deadline, but I only happened to finish everything for QC these days. The movie is only 24 min. Thanks by advance and sorry if my english looked bad, hehehe.
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çõƒWƒƒƒK[
Scissor Jaguar
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Hi. If you're still looking for someone, I'd be willing to give it a shot. I'm not in any sub groups, so my schedule is wide open, I'm a native english speaker(I also know some Japanese as well), and I really like the Jiban Movie(I have it on DVD). If you want to proceed, put up the .ass file and I'll get to work.
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Dark_Crono
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çõƒWƒƒƒK�[,Jun 1 2011
10:06 PM
Hi. If you're still looking for someone, I'd be willing to give it a shot. I'm not in any sub groups, so my schedule is wide open, I'm a native english speaker(I also know some Japanese as well), and I really like the Jiban Movie(I have it on DVD). If you want to proceed, put up the .ass file and I'll get to work.

Thanks a lot, man! Here are the links:

Raw: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=U131JD91
Subtitle: http://www.sendspace.com/file/bf7evx
Fonts for the subtitle: http://www.sendspace.com/file/w4dk8c

Let me know if a significative change on some line is needed. If somebody else wants to take a look and help, please be my guest. All help will be appreciated!
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çõƒWƒƒƒK[
Scissor Jaguar
[ *  *  * ]
Okay, I went through the script, and overall the English was outstanding. In terms of spelling/punctuation mistakes, I only found one, and that was Line 48 - "Damnit!". In this case, you could either substitute "Dammit!" or "Damn!", both are equally acceptable in this situation. I also came accross about 30 lines that need minor tweaks, and roughly 50 or so that need a word added/substituted/dropped to make it sound better(for example, Line 73 - "Stop the car!" being changed to, "Stop the van!"). If you just fix line 48, it would be perfectly acceptable(I had no problem understanding and enjoying it), but I'm not sure how precise you want it to be. If you want, I could duplicate each of these lines, enter my revision in the duplicate and then mark it as a comment so that it won't appear on screen, and then you can evaluate whether you want to change it or not. I have all of these line numbers written down, so if you want to know which ones they are, let me know. Also, would you consider changing, "Officer Yoko" to "Officer Katagiri"? In the English-speaking world, we always refer to police officers by their family name as a sign of respect. It only occurs on five lines(69, 84, 93, 269 and 271), so it's a minor detail. I'm willing to keep working on this script however you want to do it, so let me know what's next.
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Dark_Crono
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çõƒWƒƒƒK�[,Jun 3 2011
01:56 AM
Okay, I went through the script, and overall the English was outstanding. In terms of spelling/punctuation mistakes, I only found one, and that was Line 48 - "Damnit!". In this case, you could either substitute "Dammit!" or "Damn!", both are equally acceptable in this situation. I also came accross about 30 lines that need minor tweaks, and roughly 50 or so that need a word added/substituted/dropped to make it sound better(for example, Line 73 - "Stop the car!" being changed to, "Stop the van!"). If you just fix line 48, it would be perfectly acceptable(I had no problem understanding and enjoying it), but I'm not sure how precise you want it to be. If you want, I could duplicate each of these lines, enter my revision in the duplicate and then mark it as a comment so that it won't appear on screen, and then you can evaluate whether you want to change it or not. I have all of these line numbers written down, so if you want to know which ones they are, let me know. Also, would you consider changing, "Officer Yoko" to "Officer Katagiri"? In the English-speaking world, we always refer to police officers by their family name as a sign of respect. It only occurs on five lines(69, 84, 93, 269 and 271), so it's a minor detail. I'm willing to keep working on this script however you want to do it, so let me know what's next.

Wow, that was fast! Thanks, dude!

About these other minor changes you mentioned, feel free to send to me! I always want the best quality on the subs, even if it's in another language. I prefer that you just put them on some .txt or even on a post here, instead of putting them as comments on the .ass... You know, it's just to not edit the .ass again. About the "Officer Katagiri", I'll have to see with the translator, since it wasn't me who translated. Thanks for these checkings.

What's your nickname? I credit all the persons involved on the releases, and your nick is illegible on my pc, hehehe. Thanks once more.
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çõƒWƒƒƒK[
Scissor Jaguar
[ *  *  * ]
Okay, I'll make out a list of the lines and the revisions, and I'll put it up here, either as a post or an attatched document. As for my nickname, you can just leave it as Msubs like it is on Line 9, I like the way it sounds. I'll get to work on the revisions, and post them when I'm done.
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starseeker
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The nick's Hasami Jaguar right? (Scissors Jaguar). Had to do some monkeying with Shift-JIS to get it to behave.
Can do: whatever needs doing
Current project: Great Mazinger manga, Yuusha Raideen, Baxinger, Layzner, Dragonar
http://ptolemaios.wordpress.com/
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çõƒWƒƒƒK[
Scissor Jaguar
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starseeker,Jun 3 2011
05:59 PM
The nick's Hasami Jaguar right? (Scissors Jaguar).

Correct. He was the first Deathtron Commander on Kamen Rider V3(Episodes 1 and 2), and is one of the goofiest-looking kaijin you're likely to see, yet somehow manages to be cool despite that. I use the Kanji spelling because, "Scissors Jaguar" sounds like something a 13-year old, "X-treme Gamer" might go by, and "Hasami Jaguar" sounds more like Swahili than Japanese.
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jigen
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Here is what I noticed aside from anything hasami has to add.

I noticed at 28:58 to ~ 30:78 an unsubbed line of a child(Yuu I think) saying 'someone save me' as being carried off.
at 3:24:65 instead of 'jewel shop was ripped off', 'jewelry store was robbed' is probably what a detective would say.
The line at 5:20:11 instead of 'I hate them a lot', maybe 'I really hate them' or 'I really despise them'
At 16:55:17 this is minor but I would use can instead of may, since may implies more of Jiban seeking permission where can is stating he is capable of doing.
At 23:02:95 I think it sounds more like hariken, which would make the attack's name sound more like it's 'jiban hurricane crush'

The only other thing that seems unnatural is all the officer yoko for the times sempei is used, officer makes it seem more formal then a sempei/kohei relationship implies it would be but there isn't much else to use to replace officer yoko with in this context.
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starseeker
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çõƒWƒƒƒK[,Jun 3 2011
07:18 PM
starseeker,Jun 3 2011
05:59 PM
The nick's Hasami Jaguar right? (Scissors Jaguar).

Correct. He was the first Deathtron Commander on Kamen Rider V3(Episodes 1 and 2), and is one of the goofiest-looking kaijin you're likely to see, yet somehow manages to be cool despite that. I use the Kanji spelling because, "Scissors Jaguar" sounds like something a 13-year old, "X-treme Gamer" might go by, and "Hasami Jaguar" sounds more like Swahili than Japanese.

Did he turn up in Kamen Rider Spirits, not seen V3 but the name rings a bell.
Can do: whatever needs doing
Current project: Great Mazinger manga, Yuusha Raideen, Baxinger, Layzner, Dragonar
http://ptolemaios.wordpress.com/
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