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Random Facts about Jack Bauer
Topic Started: Jan 24 2006, 11:32 PM (130 Views)
Canucks fan
Numero uno
Admin
Alright, I just found this one. (I'd seen the Chuck Norris one's before)
http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/


Top 30
http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty

Quote:
 
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Once a year, Jack Bauer kills and eats an entire blue whale. This is why he is never seen having lunch.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?


;lol;
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Alpha
Retired
Quote:
 
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

hahhaha ;lol;

Quote:
 
No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a pussy" in a sentence and lived to tel-

xD
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Matt
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I killed Paulus
Mod
Chuck Norris > Jack Bauer
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Canucks fan
Numero uno
Admin
Quote:
 
Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a pussy.
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Lustre
Member Avatar
I'm On Top Of The World
Admin
:w00t: those are great

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. ;lol;

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. :w00t:

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. ;eek;

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk ;lol;

Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer. :w00t:

;lol; :lol: :w00t:
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Alpha
Retired
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If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first.

When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him.  If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."

Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car.

Jack would never have given up the wet list... no one takes potential kills away from Jack Bauer.

Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday.



;lol; :w00t:
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