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| Maybe She Learned; uhh...temporary title... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 13 2005, 05:46 PM (98 Views) | |
| ~*Dani*~ | Jun 13 2005, 05:46 PM Post #1 |
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Amazing Member
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she's a rich girl and she's got all those stylish things, designer clothes and a cell that always rings, because the girl at school thinks that rich girl is cool and wants to know where she gets all the bling, but when tragedy strikes who will be at her side? noone, that's true, noone ever really tried to get to know her better to find out who she really was and this is all because she was a rich girl but she didnt know a thing other than all her stuff like all that stupid bling, she was a rich girl and when those things, the fire fried she went down on her knees and she prayed and she cried, but maybe something good came out of those blues, maybe she learned that friends should be loved and not used, maybe she learned from that internal strife, things are for buying but you cant buy your whole life. ^EDITED^ Comments, suggestions, concerns and any other things i cant think of right now are welcome! |
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| Aislynne | Jun 13 2005, 06:56 PM Post #2 |
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POTATOES!
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Wow. I love it. I wrote a poem sort of like this called "Sweet Tammy" but it heads off into a completely different direction. Besides, this is much better anyway. I love the last two lines. |
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| ~*Dani*~ | Jun 13 2005, 07:13 PM Post #3 |
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Amazing Member
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Im sure your poem is just as good, if not better. Yea, the last two lines are probably the best part of the whole poem. |
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| Genie | Jun 14 2005, 10:18 AM Post #4 |
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O.oo
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Love the title! You girls are great with titles Dani and Aislynne! However opinion based I always think slang words such as "cuz" spoils poetry, only if your doing a rap or something similar they sound good, still I love your last line and your first line, again both of you rock at your starting and last lines! I look forward to more poetry from you BOTH! :) |
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| ~*Dani*~ | Jun 14 2005, 05:56 PM Post #5 |
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Amazing Member
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Well, it does kind of sound like rap...I have to agree with that...perhaps sometime i could alter some of the words in a way so that the poem could still be the same overall in it's meaning, but without slang. Thank you all for your wonderful comments! :D |
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| ~*Dani*~ | Jun 27 2005, 03:32 PM Post #6 |
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Amazing Member
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Sorry to double post, but I submitted this to a contest a while back and I got big news in the mail today. It said: League of American Poets Danielle, thank you for sending us your poem. We would love to publish your work in our new anthology. I know your poetry will enhance the book and inspire others.-T.G. Starks :D Woooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Lustre | Jun 27 2005, 08:32 PM Post #7 |
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I'm On Top Of The World
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Congratulations Dani ;up; That is awesome!!! Good job :) Bet that made your day :D |
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| DeE | Jun 27 2005, 11:11 PM Post #8 |
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Your Highness!
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Omg, congratulations, Dani. That is awesome, and very nice poem. |
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| ~*Dani*~ | Jun 30 2005, 07:37 AM Post #9 |
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Amazing Member
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Thanks Lustre. Yeah, it did kind of make my day. :) Thanks Dee :D |
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| Kaos | Jul 4 2005, 08:29 AM Post #10 |
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The Cancer for the Cure
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Just a hint, chaps, watch out with these poetry anthologies etc. http://www.eliteskills.com/writing_scams/w...g_scam_list.php Always check this list, and search for the competition or site in google in connection with the word "scam". Many many sites around today are only interesting in fleecing unsuspecting writers. Vigiliance is key. Remember: If a site/competition want you to pay for whatever your work is published in - think twice. Sites like www.poetry.com and www.poetryamerica.com are pure scams, publishing all and any poem that's sent into them to con their authors out of money. They publish hundreds of anthologies, with thousands of poems crammed into each, making a huge profit, and charging often around £50 for the anthology. Do the math - a thousand poems per book, each poet paying £50 - £50000 right there for them. And they publish dozens a year, with far more than 1000 poems in each. EDIT: In fact, I'm going to post about this in its own topic, and pin it in this forum, as a warning to all. However, that's a very nice poem Dani :) Reminds me of the Nickelback song "Money Bought" |
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| Genie | Jul 4 2005, 12:42 PM Post #11 |
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O.oo
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Wow thanks Chris Ive joined one of them, but werent planning to publish from them <_< |
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| ~*Dani*~ | Jul 12 2005, 11:49 AM Post #12 |
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Amazing Member
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I didnt know that. My mom wants to get a book anyway. Maybe I should tell her. Thanks for the advice and the review Kaos. :D |
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9:20 AM Jul 11