| Transformers: The Movie 2007; It sucked ass. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 6 2007, 10:09 PM (382 Views) | |
| Syxx | Jul 6 2007, 10:09 PM Post #1 |
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Yeah, saw this movie today. Don't waste your time. Go to see Spider-Man 3 again. I knew this movie would be bad from the get-go, but I just went to see it to quench my curiosity. But for the hell of it, let me bitch about the things wrong with this movie: 1. Michael Bay directed it. He sucks and all his movies suck. What's worse is Steven Spielberg of all people hand-chose him to direct it. Obviously, Spielberg is either getting senile or on drugs. 2. It's more about the humans than it is about the Transformers. That's why people liked Transformers, it was about the talking robots and their characters. The humans were always an after-thought. Here the Transformers are the after-thought. The movie is about a nerd getting with the hottest girl in school. In fact, that's basically the only thing it's about. The rest of the plot makes absolutely no sense at all, and anything involving the Transformers themselves is stupid and meaningless. I mean I know this comes from a dumb cartoon, but at least give them something cool to do. So yeah, some how Transformers the Movie turned into a movie that has human beings on the screen 90 percent of the time and a boy meets girl love story. Apparently anything else in an American, big-budget, pop-corn movie would blow the audience's minds and cause them to riot like opera goers at the Rite of Spring. 3. The script sucked. As I said earlier, the plot makes absolutely no sense at all. I'm sure they could've hired fanfic writers that would've done better. 4. It took cheesy, but easy to understand Transformers pseudo-science and made it into pseudo-science that is both cheesy and impossible to understand. What a great accomplishment. 4. Cheap sex jokes. Yeah, lets make pee and masturbation jokes in a Transformers movie. They probably resorted to that becuase they didn't know what else to do to get a reaction out of the audience. 5. The Transformers are butt ugly. They took the simple, cool designs from the cartoon and made them extremely complex and hideous. The ability to relate to the Transformers is gone now, becuase they are all ugly, mechanical monsters now. 6. Terrible characters. All of them were bad. Even Optimus Prime sounded extremely dumb every time he talked in this movie. 7. The battle scenes weren't very entertaining or well executed. I don't know, but they just came off as a jumbled mess like the rest of this movie. 8. Terrible actors. The girls looked like they were hired just becuase they were hot. John Voight is washed up. 9. Frank Welker didn't do Megatron's voice. Are you on crack? Things good about this movie: 1. The CGI was very impressive. The transformation scenes and the Transformers were at least sorta cool looking, just becuase of the CGI was so intricate. 2. The actor who played Sam (I guess Sam is a more accessible name than Spike, shrugs shoulders) Witwickey did an ok job with the terrible lines he was given. Yeah, I think about covers it. Hopefully, this movie doesn't recoup it's budget, like the equally lame American Godzilla movie, and this is the end of Michael Bay's big-budget career. If not, I guess it may make it possible for giant robot movies to be made in the future that don't suck. If you want to see a Transformers movie, buy the cartoon movie from 1986. It's about 1,000 times more enjoyable, even it has Judd Nelson and 80's, cheese metal in it. |
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| Trillium | Jul 7 2007, 12:51 PM Post #2 |
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Boonta Likes Soft Places.
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When the best thing about your movie is a Puff Daddy song, you KNOW you've got problems. How the hell they got Jean Reno to star in that is beyond me. Wasn't there actually a sequel to that? I swear something was made, even direct to video. |
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| Syxx | Jul 7 2007, 01:46 PM Post #3 |
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T-Boz tried to talk to me!
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Nah, there was no sequel. I think some non-Japanese, Asian country made a movie that was a rip-off of it, but that's probably about the closest thing. The CGI American Godzilla also appears in the Japanese Godzilla: Final Wars, and gets killed by a guy-in-a-suit version of Godzilla. Too bad that movie kinda sucked too. And I went to some article about the Transformers movie, and there was a page of replies from about 100 people saying it was the best movie they had ever seen. I mean that literally. I can't believe Transformers fans are that pathetic. I know when I was into it hard-core, I would've had more self-respect than that. But I guess that's why I left the fandom years ago, it's filled with too many idiots, 30 year olds who act like they're 5, and total freaks. "Transfans" are definitely on the bottom of the nerd food-chain. |
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| Deadlyphase | Jul 7 2007, 01:56 PM Post #4 |
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Now I havn't seen this movie yet. But every single person I know, aside from you, said this was one of the best movies they have ever seen. I'll still probably check it out. But very odd hearing that you think it's so bad. |
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| Syxx | Jul 7 2007, 03:14 PM Post #5 |
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T-Boz tried to talk to me!
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Honestly, I don't know how in hell this could be the best movie anyone has seen. Maybe if it was the first movie they had seen ever. Hell, Killer Tomatoes Eat France was probably a better movie. But I guess if the only thing people judge movies by now is CGI, maybe.
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| Trillium | Jul 7 2007, 03:43 PM Post #6 |
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Boonta Likes Soft Places.
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Unless "Delta Force" or "The Dead Pool" go out of print, there is no way "Transformers" will beat it. Yes, I love cheesy 80s action movies. Quiet. Also, I've learned to appreciate things based on "fun". I know I'm not leaving "Transformers" and thinking about social problems and whatnot. I want things to blow up. I want hot chicks. I want fast cars. I think I'll be happy. |
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| Syxx | Jul 7 2007, 03:54 PM Post #7 |
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T-Boz tried to talk to me!
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I wasn't expecting the movie to be an Orson Welles directed masterpiece, but I don't think this reaches my own personal definition of "fun movie" either. There was way too much exposition so Bay could unravel his crappy militry/invasion plot for most of the film. Optimus Prime doesn't show up untill like half the movie is over. Megatron doesn't show up until like the last 10 minutes or something. I seriously got bored watching this after about half an hour. It was too much of a watered down mess to be entertaining for me. |
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| shockwave | Jul 7 2007, 04:32 PM Post #8 |
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I watched the trailer, it was quite enough for throwing a fit. Someone should add a new paragraph to the definition of the Crime Against Humanity - Creating and releasing movies that defies the cult classic stuff. |
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| Syxx | Jul 7 2007, 08:33 PM Post #9 |
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T-Boz tried to talk to me!
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Yeah, if this was movie was any good, I would be the first one to say it. I was watching Transformers since practically after I was born. My first bedroom had Megatron, Prime, Soundwave, and Starscream all over the curtains and bed sheets for years. The problem with all these adaptions and remakes is they just make them for money. I think it's sometimes a rarity that the directors and writers involved are actual fans who give 2 shits about the property. Spider-Man was one of the few exceptions of this, since Raimi comes off as a genuine, old-school fan. There's another strike against this movie, the first draft was written by John Rogers. You probably don't remember John Rogers as the man responsible for the screenplay of Catwoman, the worst super-hero movie ever made. And back to the POS American Godzilla movie. I was in the mall today and saw it marked down to about 5 dollars. Next to it were DVDs for the 60's movies like Godzilla vs. Mothra and those were going for like 25 bucks. That should tell you something. |
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Jul 7 2007, 10:07 PM Post #10 |
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...from the Desert...
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Jsyxx's movie review is the funniest thread I read in here. Thanks for helping me save $10 for a much cooler movie. :roflmao: In the movie, these robot characters doesn't resemble the originals..."wait a sec...is that Optimus prime?...don't look like it to me." As one who grew up in the 1980's, I really liked Transformers when I was a child, I used to "morph" into Megatron or whoever...and I used to play with the toys too. The 2000s version is way cool in animation quality, but the 80s version is classic and just as awesome. I know the great graphics from the millions of bucks ($ka-ching$) spent to make them look "real", but the story line you described me is a sign big Transformers fans (like Jsyxx here) will know for sure: the movie blows! ![]() << 9. Frank Welker didn't do Megatron's voice. Are you on crack?>> What? He's one of the greatest voice actors of all time...and the movie directors (Spielberg is part of the movie production?) didn't hire HIS voice...THE voice of megatron.
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| Mike V | Jul 8 2007, 01:57 AM Post #11 |
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M.K.O
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the movie wasn't that bad,but i liked the originals more.but the only thing that sucked in the movie was that there were only 10 robots.They should have added all of them.I just dont like the way Starscream looks,for some odd reason i think whenever they redesign starscream,it comes out crappy.But anyway the movie was ok. |
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Jul 20 2007, 02:10 AM Post #12 |
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...from the Desert...
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This just in: partially by the movie's popularity and the nostalagic value of "Transformers", a set of 275 original Transformers boxed toy sets were sold at a million dollars! The web link tells the story (it's sad, but the man's widow has made a big profit at the right time). We may not like the movie, but the toys is what many Transformers fans liked to play with...or collect if you wish. [ url= http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/megallection/or...0000-279598.php] |
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The triumph of intelligence over ignorance - The Phil Hendrie show, radio comedy Please visit and join my Totally spies forum! [ url= http://z11.invisionfree.com/TS_Zone/index.php?] TS Zone, the 4th most in hits for TS-themed forums in the English-language TS online community. Affiliated with WOOHP (#1) and TSUG (#2).
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| Trillium | Jul 21 2007, 07:28 AM Post #13 |
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Boonta Likes Soft Places.
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And the 1977 Camaro used in the film as Bumblebee sold for $40,100. Thus making it the single most expensive 1977 Camaro of all time. Personally, I think the buyer overpayed. By like, $38,000. |
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| genevieve | Jul 23 2007, 03:49 PM Post #14 |
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wow. the order of my reactions to this whole thing went: 1. I saw an ad for a "transformers movie" - yay! w00t I'll go see this after finals!2. I then saw a post here about said movie and was like 'oh yeah, that movie I was gonna go see after finals!' ![]() 3. but soft - under the title it says 'it sucked my ass' -well then, what's all this hullaballo aboot? 4. oh no, it sounds bad according to jsyxx 5. guess I'll go watch the 1986 movie with that weird al song 'dare to be stupid'
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| Kikyou | Jul 28 2007, 10:56 AM Post #15 |
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I might go see this movie just so I can join in the anti-transfomers-2007 rant, but to be honest I've never seen the old series so I would'nt really have anything to compare it to
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Someone should add a new paragraph to the definition of the Crime Against Humanity - Creating and releasing movies that defies the cult classic stuff.
Thanks for helping me save $10 for a much cooler movie. :roflmao: In the movie, these robot characters doesn't resemble the originals..."wait a sec...is that Optimus prime?...don't look like it to me."


The web link tells the story (it's sad, but the man's widow has made a big profit at the right time). We may not like the movie, but the toys is what many Transformers fans liked to play with...or collect if you wish. 
w00t I'll go see this after finals!








12:52 PM Jul 11