Another Hurdle for Duffy Dog

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Another Hurdle for Duffy Dog; He could use some jingles.
Tweet Topic Started: May 4 2013, 01:40 PM (2,070 Views)
stephjm	May 9 2013, 08:36 AM Post #31
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure! Posts: 2,362 Group: Members Member #955 Joined: April 12, 2007	I am coming to accept that I need to make a decision for him. He is not eating very well. Last night I made him mac and cheese, and he was happy to eat some. Then this morning some leftover mac and cheese and canned dog food. Normally he would be spastic with joy at a breakfast like that. He picked at it. He cowered when I brought out his medicine, because since he wouldn't eat anything I put the pills in, I've had to give them to him myself, which doesn't make anyone happy (although now the vet gave me some samples of pill pockets that he likes). Though he is not "withdrawing" from us (he still lays around wherever we are, or wherever I am), he is no longer wanting to spend a lot of time outside and is barely begging the neighbors for treats (although he'll beg me for them). I just can't do this anymore. Duffy is not truly happy, though sometimes he acts like he is, and he's not going to get better. He's 14 1/2. He has heart disease and lung problems that are only controlled because he's on meds. Most likely he has liver cancer or something equally wrong with his liver. And he's losing his zest for food, even people food and canned dog food. I can't make him scrambled eggs every meal (though I will for now if I have to, until the day comes). I am going to talk to Lauren. I have been hinting around anyway that if he is not eating well, that takes away his last joy in life besides just being with us. She is smart, she knows, but like me, I think she would like to not see it for what it is. I will tell her we will pick a day together, sometime in the near future, whether it is next Monday or not for another week or so. I will take a day off work if I need to. I owe this to Duffy. He has never asked anything of me other than a soft bed (sometimes my own bed), good food, treats, playing with him, and taking him for car rides and walks. The only thing left I can give him is to give him a peaceful end when he can no longer enjoy most of those things. It has taken me quite a while to realize that I am probably keeping him alive for my own benefit, because I am so unsure of the "signs," but I can't do it anymore if it's not fair to him. And then I will donate his soft bed, blanket, leftover food, toys, and whatever they can use to the rescue organization where I got him from, 14 years ago. One of their foster dogs will enjoy them. I am at work and trying not to cry. But I also know that making this decision has been tearing me up inside, and now this is the right thing to do for Duffy's sake. No matter how "happy" he looks, there is another look alongside that in his eyes, and he is not truly enjoying his life right now.



kbrethauer	May 9 2013, 08:47 AM Post #32
Shunnnnn the unbeliever. Shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Posts: 404 Group: Members Member #1,406 Joined: August 16, 2007	Big hugs to you Steph! You are making the right decision, even though it is very hard.



Trialbyfire	May 9 2013, 08:54 AM Post #33
You're BANNED! Posts: 5,272 Group: Members Member #250 Joined: January 8, 2007	It sounds like it's time. Especially the aversion to the medicine. Does he get any meals without meds in them? If not, make sure he does for the next few days. Just because.



gunnar	May 9 2013, 09:09 AM Post #34
You're BANNED! Posts: 6,490 Group: Members Member #236 Joined: January 8, 2007	Do not forget "grief is the price we pay for love". No matter how hard it is! These type of decisions can wrack our souls! You are making the right one Steph! Sending big hugs my friend!



SnackPack	May 9 2013, 09:25 AM Post #35
You're BANNED! Posts: 4,570 Group: Members Member #238 Joined: January 8, 2007	It sounds like the right decision.



stephjm	May 9 2013, 10:06 AM Post #36
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure! Posts: 2,362 Group: Members Member #955 Joined: April 12, 2007	Yes, he always gets his meds and meals separately. Until recently, I would give him his meds in pieces of cheese, gobs of peanut butter, or bites of canned food, all of which he loved. Now he won't take them. He did like the pill pockets the vet gave me a sample of, though, so I bought some soft treats and will try putting his meds in those. He has always loved soft treats and Beggin' Strips. I went out at lunch time and bought him some more eggs and some hot dogs. At least with the time he has left, I will feed him something he has a chance of wanting to eat. I tried to buy some frozen cheeseburgers but they all had onion in them. He'll probably love hot dogs though. And I have frozen french fries at home, he loves french fries, even now. It seems easier to make this decision when I am away from him (i.e., at work), and then when I see him, I think, well, he seems happy today. But I know deep down he can't actually be that happy now. Food, especially the turkey & rice I've been making for him, plus the canned food, was his last joy. And now it is mostly gone. Tonight I will talk to Lauren and try to pick a day. I imagine it will be sometime between this coming Saturday and next Saturday. Until then we will spoil him rotten, even rottener than he is already spoiled. Steph, you are right, this decision has wracked my soul. Duffy is my first "my" dog, and I've had him for 14 years. But if I really think about it, I know this is the right decision for him, if not me. He is just not going to get better, and when I think about it, I want to spare him the agony of getting even worse.



stephjm	May 9 2013, 10:07 AM Post #37
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure! Posts: 2,362 Group: Members Member #955 Joined: April 12, 2007	And thank you all for your support. It means so much to me.



Indy	May 9 2013, 11:31 AM Post #38
You're BANNED! Posts: 8,083 Group: Admin Member #326 Joined: January 10, 2007



Corey94	May 9 2013, 11:44 AM Post #39
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back. Posts: 1,313 Group: Members Member #428 Joined: January 18, 2007	Steph, you last line is the bottom line. I'm concerned that when he takes a turn, it's going to be a big turn, and your going to have memories of that, instead of the now, when he's sorta ok. We are thinking of you, this is never EVER easy...



Kikki	May 9 2013, 11:47 AM Post #40
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure! Posts: 2,165 Group: Moderator Member #403 Joined: January 17, 2007	Hugs girl...



JanM	May 9 2013, 12:17 PM Post #41
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back. Posts: 1,143 Group: Members Member #4,549 Joined: October 25, 2008	You are doing the right thing for him. I know how difficult it is, but when it's keeping them alive for us, and watching them struggle, then it's time. Your plan sounds exactly right for him. You are making the most difficult, but loving decision for him. We've all been there, and it's an awful decision to have to make. Spoil him for the time he has left, and schedule it so you don't have a huge crisis and feel even worse about that. Edited by JanM, May 9 2013, 04:53 PM.



Fish Cheeks	May 9 2013, 12:20 PM Post #42
You're BANNED! Posts: 5,758 Group: Members Member #211 Joined: January 7, 2007



Twiceshy	May 9 2013, 12:46 PM Post #43
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back. Posts: 1,149 Group: Members Member #730 Joined: February 5, 2007	Adding my hugs and strength to the pile.



gunnar	May 9 2013, 05:33 PM Post #44
You're BANNED! Posts: 6,490 Group: Members Member #236 Joined: January 8, 2007	I have been in your shoes too often! Cats, dogs and horses! It does not get easier! Big hugs Steph!



stephjm	May 9 2013, 06:07 PM Post #45
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure! Posts: 2,362 Group: Members Member #955 Joined: April 12, 2007	I talked to Lauren. She took it pretty well, but then she has seen the same thing I have, and probably more objectively. Sean is fine with whatever I decide, he is "my" dog, and other than if I tried to keep him alive when he was in pain, he is supportive of whatever decision I make. So with Lauren's input as far as timing (she does have graduation coming up and I don't want to completely "ruin" that), we have decided that, contingent upon me speaking to the vet tomorrow, his last day will be next Saturday, the 18th. He will have been with us 14 years and one month at that time, which really is quite a long time for a dog. Until then, we will spoil him absolutely rotten, or at least as much as he wants. I have stocked up on Beggin' Strips, and he loved his hot dog for dinner. He will get hot dogs every day if he will eat them. And I will try to make sure he gets his Lasix and his cough meds at least, so he is comfortable, but not push the issue with his other meds, at least try to just get some in him. This is not easy. It is not going to be easy, or meant to be easy. But we are at peace with this decision. As if to give me more peace, when I came home with Josh this evening after his t-ball game, Duffy looked at me from the living room, but didn't even get up to greet me. So different from his exhuberant greetings when he was younger and healthier. It is time.



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