Another Hurdle for Duffy Dog

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Another Hurdle for Duffy Dog; He could use some jingles.
Tweet Topic Started: May 4 2013, 01:40 PM (2,071 Views)
Fish Cheeks	May 6 2013, 08:49 AM Post #16
You're BANNED! Posts: 5,758 Group: Members Member #211 Joined: January 7, 2007	Jingles for Duffy, but also for you to have strength to know when it is time.



stephjm	May 7 2013, 03:51 PM Post #17
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure! Posts: 2,362 Group: Members Member #955 Joined: April 12, 2007	Thanks again all. Duffy is doing much better right now. He is interested in life and food again, though he isn't eating a lot. We're going to keep soldiering on for now. Vet called today to check on him. She said if he gets bad again that she would recommend x-rays at $200 to curck for cancer and sub-cu fluids twice a week at $18 as pop. I told them I'd think about it, nut honestly, as much as it breaks my heart, I can't afford that right now and I'm not sure I'd put him through that anyway, at least the fluids. And I don't have time to go to the vet twice a xxx week. I feel like a terrible dog mom, but our finances are pretty stretched right now, and I'm buying four meds a month for him. Saturday's vet visit with bloodwork was $200. We h as v ed people medical bills, cars that need mufflers and tires, and college coming up. Ah I wish I was rich!!!! So we keep on keeping on I guess, and if he gets really bad again I think I'm going to have to make a decision. I like knowing facts, but now I may just have to go with my gut, no matter what the vet says "May" help him. Thanks for listening, again. I now have renewed sympathy for my parents who had to also make tough decisions for our pets with a limited budget.



leastrock	May 7 2013, 04:16 PM Post #18
I Visited Candy Mountain and All I Got Was This Lousy Incision Posts: 100 Group: Members Member #5,409 Joined: December 11, 2011	It's never easy when those decisions come down to economics. The level of veterinary care pets receive these days is remarkable but expensive. It's similar to paying human medical bills without health insurance. Good luck to you. Trust your instincts. Situations like this have made me consider pet insurance. Not necessarily for end-of-life decisions but big injuries or accidents; I couldn't afford emergency surgery or something like that out-of-pocket. I don't want to highjack this thread, though.



stephjm	May 7 2013, 05:13 PM Post #19
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure! Posts: 2,362 Group: Members Member #955 Joined: April 12, 2007	The real financial issues are fairly recent, but I have never been in a position to spend thousands. For me right now it's also a matter of will spending a bunch more money even make a huge difference in his quality of life. We've got a reprieve for the moment so I guess I'll play it by ear.



Fish Cheeks	May 7 2013, 06:06 PM Post #20
You're BANNED! Posts: 5,758 Group: Members Member #211 Joined: January 7, 2007	Not that it matters too much, but my opinion on the matter is that all of those further diagnoses and treatments are for the people not the dogs. IMHO they don't necessarily improve the quality of life - they just buy the people time so that we don't feel guilty about putting a pet down too soon. Looking back on it, we should have put Toopy down when she stopped eating and we had to start hand-feeding her hot dogs. Instead we put her through surgery and she lived another year. But the quality of that year wasn't the best. She was old and tired and she seemed happy enough but we did it for us, not for her. I'm sorry you're going through this right now - it is always hard to be nearing the end of life and to try to make this decision.



Kassandra	May 7 2013, 07:35 PM Post #21
Is the meadow on fire? Posts: 1,940 Group: Members Member #4,960 Joined: April 13, 2010	I will second Fish Cheeks. My Nellie dog (who I still miss to this day...and still don't 100% feel okay with my decision to put her down, and no matter the circumstance never would be ) was nearly 17 and not sleeping at night. She had an inner ear problem so walked a little sideways, and had a couple tumors. But even at the end she was still eating ravenously, and would still occasionally play with the ball. But she would pace the house at night, unable to find the doggie door, and would whine because she was so confused. I could barely sleep, and she would pass out all day long exhausted. She started peeing in the house, and was starting to not recognize things. But, on my last day with her, I took her to a big park and hung out with her playing. She was so happy just walking around on the grass, checking out the ducks, laying in the sun. Jesus, I cannot even write about this without crying.... Anyway, sometimes they just don't give you that BIG sign, not without suffering a lot first. It makes it really hard for us. But I think if you really look inside yourself you will know what the right thing is to do. Just ignore everything else and everyone else and do the thing you know is right. Big hugs



SnackPack	May 7 2013, 08:58 PM Post #22
You're BANNED! Posts: 4,570 Group: Members Member #238 Joined: January 8, 2007	I agree with Fishy as well. We extend their life for us, because we will miss them and because we fear death. It seems to me that vets have lost sight of the real goal, which is not to keep the animal alive for as long as possible, but to keep them healthy for as long as possible and then helping the owners understand that death of a beloved pet is incredibly sad, but it is also very natural. I hope you don't take that the wrong way, but you seem like you feel guilty for trying to balance real world concerns with the idea of getting as many good days as possible no matter the price (for both you and Duffy) Edited by SnackPack, May 7 2013, 08:59 PM.



Reynard Ridge	May 8 2013, 01:57 AM Post #23
Drivin' The Short Bus Posts: 2,934 Group: Members Member #237 Joined: January 8, 2007	I'll fourth what the FC, K, and SP all said. These decisions are never easy, but I really do think as pet owners, we can lose the forest for the trees. Quality of life is a tough thing to define, because as time moves on, it becomes relative. But the day to day moments; pain, confusion, inability to hold urine, that's not awesome, is it? Even balanced with treats and some good times.



stephjm	May 8 2013, 03:33 AM Post #24
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure! Posts: 2,362 Group: Members Member #955 Joined: April 12, 2007	I agree. I admit it, I do feel a bit guilty for not being able to "do" more for him. Some people have said, oh, they have fed their dogs baby food for a while because that's the only thing they can eat. That's fine for them, but for me, I couldn't do it for several reasons. The vet that saw Duffy this past weekend with this newest problem is not the vet he's been seeing all along for his heart condition. That vet knows what I intend for him. This vet understood as well, and I think part of it is that she was giving me all my options. I like that, but then it's so hard to pick and choose. I don't want to put him through going to the vet more for no real good reason. It won't significantly improve things for him. And I can't afford that anyway. I honestly didn't think it would be this hard, but there are no clear signs... or at least, every time there seems to be something like a clear sign, he gets better again, and so I put it off. For now, he is pretty much back to where he was before this episode late last week. The vet said his heart and lungs do not sound any worse than they have, so those meds are working. He is happy and is interacting as much as he always has. And he is back to eating the food he was before, although not as much. At this moment, I would not say he is suffering, just slowing as he has been for months. So, I am going to press on for now. But if he has another downturn, isn't eating, is clearly in pain (which he is not right now), etc., that will be it. With the bloodtests showing a lot of liver problems, and some kidney and pancreas, I will make the decision. It's hard for ME not to want an x-ray to have everything confirmed, but clearly something is wrong in him, whether it's a disease or cancer. Thanks everyone. It does help to hear your points of view as many of you are dog owners and you all are animal lovers, but also live in the real world like I do! Edited by stephjm, May 8 2013, 03:34 AM.



Reynard Ridge	May 8 2013, 06:16 AM Post #25
Drivin' The Short Bus Posts: 2,934 Group: Members Member #237 Joined: January 8, 2007	Another way to look at it is a "clear sign" means it's gone on too long. If he's suddenly in drastic pain, stops being able to get up, etc, of course, that's the clear sign that his time has come. But, I'll go on record stating that I believe that there is nothing wrong with choosing a point to say goodbye. Not because it's necessarily "convenient," etc, but because I am a firm believe in too soon rather than too late. My opinion.



SnackPack	May 8 2013, 07:37 AM Post #26
You're BANNED! Posts: 4,570 Group: Members Member #238 Joined: January 8, 2007	Reynard Ridge May 8 2013, 06:16 AM Another way to look at it is a "clear sign" means it's gone on too long. If he's suddenly in drastic pain, stops being able to get up, etc, of course, that's the clear sign that his time has come. But, I'll go on record stating that I believe that there is nothing wrong with choosing a point to say goodbye. Not because it's necessarily "convenient," etc, but because I am a firm believe in too soon rather than too late. My opinion. Agreed. We want a clear sign because then we can say "it was time"...except we often mask the clear sign with medications and extraordinary care. When it gets to the point that the meds are responsible for any quality of life rather than just making an otherwise healthy dog experience less pain, it could be time to make the decision...even if there is no clear sign. Don't forget that dogs are designed to take whatever comes with a bounce in their step. They are resilient creatures and tend to make the best of any situation. Letting him go will not be painful for him, but it will be for you.



stephjm	May 8 2013, 07:39 AM Post #27
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure! Posts: 2,362 Group: Members Member #955 Joined: April 12, 2007	I hear you RR. I am thinking about this a lot. I know I am going to have to make a decision soon. No matter how "happy" he is now, he is never going to get truly better, and he is 14 1/2 years old. I just never thought it would be this hard. I went into the vet this morning to pick up a refill on one of his pills, and they were asking me if I wanted to schedule him to get sub-cu fluids, x-rays, etc. I just said, well, I'm thinking about what is best for Duffy and for us, and I'll get back to you. They were great at offering suggestions to perk his appetite, etc., and I know they love him too, but I have to stop listening to them and me I think and start listening more to Duffy. Part of my struggle (and again, maybe this is a consideration for me, but not for him) is that when the time comes, if I am going to "plan" it, then I want some time to be with him. I don't want to just think, well I have an hour, I'll take him in to the vet, say good-bye, and go on with my life for the day. I want to have time to spend with him, even if only a few hours, feed some some favorite foods, and then take him in when I don't feel rushed or hurried. And since this Saturday I am supposed to spend the day at my mother in law's house doing yardwork for her (don't get me started there), and even if the vet was open on Sunday I would not do it until Mother's Day, it couldn't be sooner than next weekend unless there's an emergency. I work full time on top of that. Sigh. I feel like I am failing him no matter what I do. Good thing dogs forgive easily.



SnackPack	May 8 2013, 08:09 AM Post #28
You're BANNED! Posts: 4,570 Group: Members Member #238 Joined: January 8, 2007	stephjm May 8 2013, 07:39 AM Sigh. I feel like I am failing him no matter what I do. Good thing dogs forgive easily. You're not failing him at all. You are trying to do your best by him. So you end up letting him go in the best possible way, find a day or half a day or whatever and say goodbye. Take him to his favorite place, give him his favorite treats and the things he's not usually allowed to have. Do a Duffy Day and then have your appt. There will be more closure than letting it get to the point that you are making the decision at the vet and feeling like you never got the say goodbye because he takes a sudden turn.



Fish Cheeks	May 8 2013, 08:19 AM Post #29
You're BANNED! Posts: 5,758 Group: Members Member #211 Joined: January 7, 2007	Would your vet come to your house and do it? I know how hard it is to make that last trip to the vet's office specifically for that purpose. Scheduling it ahead of time seems so . . . I can't find the right word. When we took Pico in, he was in an acute state of not knowing where he was or what was going on and the vet took us right away so we didn't have to say "next Tuesday at 10" or whatever. I feel for you, I really do.



gunnar	May 8 2013, 08:46 AM Post #30
You're BANNED! Posts: 6,490 Group: Members Member #236 Joined: January 8, 2007	I had a bad experience with my collie Georgia! She became very ill suddenly. It was late in the day! My vet was closed. I could not find a vet who was open. I even called animal control. They would not help me! I finally found a 24 hour emergency vet. I have vivid memories of arriving there and getting her out of my car. She was disoriented and confused. Even that vet wanted to do some tests. I was insistent that they put her down. She died in my arms covered by my tears! I would never want to thru that again. She was just too old. A day too early is better than a day too late! I am sorry Steph!



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