Women in Business

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Women in Business; Thoughts in general?
Tweet Topic Started: Apr 25 2013, 03:03 PM (277 Views)
FlashGordon	Apr 25 2013, 03:03 PM Post #1
You're BANNED! Posts: 6,855 Group: Members Member #2,251 Joined: December 3, 2007	As I've mentioned before-- I come from a household dynamic where men own businesses, smoke cigars, play golf and drink scotch. Women don't have their own bank accounts, rarely have their own jobs... if they do they are "secretaries" or "nurses" or something. They are supposed to be quiet and content and never ask questions cause they live in a nice house in the 'burbs. If they are anything but that, they are called some not-so-nice names and treated like a rogue horse. This is a culture that has been engrained in my family for many, many, many years. (Mr. FG is the FURTHEST thing from that... hmm, probably why I chose him.) Ironically, my sisters and I are all independent thinkers that buck that tradition, despite it costing us personal relationships and often being the target of some not so nice family chatter. Both my sisters are very business savvy (one is ruthless on a level I could never be) and have been highly successful in their chosen fields. I'm still fumbling along, and I'm finding that as I am growing my freelance business, I am coming across a lot of that same somewhat misogynistic mentality. I resent it and find it VERY difficult to navigate without being on the defensive or having an internal meltdown. Have an important business meeting on Monday I am trying to prep for.... wondered if anyone had any tips or ideas. When confronted with the "here here nice lil' girl take this and shush" line I get all flustered and end up just being quiet and saying "ok." I need to NOT do that, particularly at THIS meeting, for many reasons. Edited by FlashGordon, Apr 25 2013, 03:04 PM.



JanM	Apr 25 2013, 05:20 PM Post #2
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back. Posts: 1,143 Group: Members Member #4,549 Joined: October 25, 2008	I think mental preparation is the key. Think about possible scenarios and remarks, and decide on what your response will be. Mentally rehearse the way you want it to go, and though it sounds silly, I've found some success with going in with a calm, assertive attitude-yes, I used to watch Dog Whisperer. I know it sounds strange, but it's as if your attitude is mirrored by whoever you're dealing with, just as with dog training or horses. If you go into the meeting totally prepared, calm but assertive, and with a professional attitude, then I think it will go better. Think of possible questions, or attitudes by the other person, and decide on your reaction, and rehearse it mentally.



OpticalIllusion	Apr 25 2013, 05:57 PM Post #3
You're BANNED! Posts: 4,477 Group: Members Member #702 Joined: February 1, 2007	Just be confident. Be the first to offer a hand to shake. Smile and be polite while you keep a professional business look. The prouder you are, the more serious you will be taken. Good luck, I am sure you will be great!



SidesaddleRider	Apr 25 2013, 06:18 PM Post #4
Is the meadow on fire? Posts: 1,669 Group: Moderator Member #441 Joined: January 18, 2007	In addition to what the others already stated... I also think that you should have a plan going into the meeting about what YOU want to get out of it. What are the key points/topics that will be discussed? What do you want to have known about yourself/your business? What is the end result? Then, you can go in on Monday with an "outline," per se, of what will be discussed. If some of your points don't come up, then you can help to direct the meeting in that direction. If you are directing things, it will be hard for someone to do the "pat you on the head and tell you not to worry your little ole self" routine. On Monday, be direct, look people in the eye, sit up straight, be prepared, and know that YOU CAN DO THIS. Good luck!



jillincolorado	Apr 25 2013, 06:21 PM Post #5
You're BANNED! Posts: 10,301 Group: Members Member #96 Joined: January 6, 2007	I agree that confidence is the key. You are capable. You are educated. You can do this! (you is smart...you is kind...you is IMPOTANT!!!) it they are small minded it's THEIR impediment...not yours!!! Good luck!



Kassandra	Apr 25 2013, 08:59 PM Post #6
Is the meadow on fire? Posts: 1,940 Group: Members Member #4,960 Joined: April 13, 2010	OMFG, the stories I could tell working in IT for a Private Wealth Management Bank in SF! Today was crazy. I feel like I am either being hit on, patted on the head, or called a f-ing beotch half the time. FC and I are friends with an amazing woman who works as a career coach, she is incredible. She has been a Senior Sales Director for a big software company and worked as a Director in HR for another big company. She helped me get my job and has been a lifesaver for me. All I can say is your feelings are valid and get support! It's important as woman we have mentors and a support system because IMO there are a lot of forces against us, including our own minds and emotions. Good luck! Edited by Kassandra, Apr 25 2013, 09:01 PM.



Won for Me	Apr 26 2013, 06:49 AM Post #7
Is the meadow on fire? Posts: 1,658 Group: Members Member #1,149 Joined: June 18, 2007	FG, I think your feelings are partially driven by your age. There always seems to be a career transition in your late 20's, early 30's where you know what you are talking about, but others are not on the page quite yet. They might be listening, but not giving you credit for your experience yet. As you move into late 30's, people will listen and give you a bit of credit. As you move into your 40's, you are sought out for your knowledge. I have had people seek me out to hear my view on something. I have asked myself, what changed? I am still the same hard worker as I was 10 years ago (and I happen to be in the same industry that I was in back then). My boss said that I have a mature approach to things and I come across as very experienced and thoughtful. I don't think I have changed! Be prepared. Know your strengths. Present yourself as professional, organized and capable. Others will get on board!



Reynard Ridge	Apr 26 2013, 08:29 AM Post #8
Drivin' The Short Bus Posts: 2,934 Group: Members Member #237 Joined: January 8, 2007	And, don't take any of it personally. If certain people are treating you like some kind of sub-human, it's not because YOU are sub-human, or are sending off a sub-human vib, it is because they have not been taught how to deal with other people properly. So, do not let it impact you emotionally. I know, really, really hard to do, but, I think it's really important to understand that you have to have a clear sense of who you are and not let other people's attitudes and actions undermine how you feel about yourself. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to be empowered when you come from a family that is dis-empowering, but you've got what it takes to be a success: you are smart, motivated and creative. Let that part of you shine and don't let the a$$hats throw shade.



FlashGordon	Apr 26 2013, 01:07 PM Post #9
You're BANNED! Posts: 6,855 Group: Members Member #2,251 Joined: December 3, 2007	Thank you guys for the tips and ideas! These are all great insights and I am going to take some notes this weekend and compile "a plan" so that I don't get snowed/bulldozed. I think much of my issues (in business and in life) is that I take too many things to heart, I end up hurt or I take things personally. Especially since I am intimidated by the "good ol' boys" club. I do think I am in a weird state of limbo due to my age.... I'm no longer fresh out of school, I have 10 years of experience in design for this particular industry, but I'm still kind of in limbo in this early 30-something plane where a lot of my peers/friends are starting to step away from their careers to have kids and stuff, and I'm now returning to mine.



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