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| Wedding etiquette ... wait, what?; WWYD? WWYT? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 21 2013, 04:59 PM (366 Views) | |
| Onelanerode | Apr 21 2013, 04:59 PM Post #1 |
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
  ![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
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So if someone you'd been friends with for 10 years (and who was in your wedding party) invited you to her wedding reception, but not the ceremony, and it's 3 hours away with no hotels nearby, WWYD? If you were told ceremony was family only, but found out later that some friends had been invited, WWYT? WWYD if you'd been invited to two bachelorette parties for said friend, both of which are 3+ hours away? I'm trying to be a big girl here, but ... this seems thoughtless at best, and quite tacky at worst. What say you, TOCers? |
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| RHowell | Apr 21 2013, 06:39 PM Post #2 |
You're BANNED!
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I would thank my lucky stars that I didn't have to sit through a wedding ceremony and just got to celebrate :-) There may be a back story why some friends got invited to the ceremony, like they got upset or something or introduced the couple. |
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| jn4jenny | Apr 21 2013, 07:00 PM Post #3 |
Is the meadow on fire?
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I wouldn't mind one bit, and I'd feel delighted that my friend was offering as many opportunities to include me as possible. There's all sorts of things that go into choosing who comes to a wedding ceremony or not. At least half the time, it's logistical stuff that has nothing to do with how dear that person is to you. I am regularly invited to far-flung bachelorette parties. I say it's the thought that counts. Most of these brides know that I can't make it, but it's them symbolically saying, "You are the kind of girl I would want to be there with me, if money and distance were no object." Ditto with invites to bridal showers. Now if you'd not been invited to ANY of the wedding or pre-wedding festivities, and you hadn't had a falling out between now and then, and there was no explanation? THAT would be weird and tacky. But they're clearly trying to include you in some of the big important events. I would take that as a compliment. |
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| WhySoSerious | Apr 21 2013, 07:56 PM Post #4 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I went to a wedding last May that was mostly friends and close family. The person who got married isn't someone I know well, but she was someone who I had known for several years and had come to my own wedding. I took that as a special thing because she didn't have to invite me. Weddings are kind of tricky, really. I probably go to the reception if it were someone who was a good friend, or at one time was. If it were just an acquaintance, I wouldn't. I'd just try to find somewhere halfway in between to stay so I didn't have to drive so late. |
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| Reynard Ridge | Apr 22 2013, 03:36 AM Post #5 |
Drivin' The Short Bus
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I actually had a funky wedding that put a lot of people's noses out of joint. I had a private wedding that was just family on Friday evening. If you weren't related to me by blood or married to a blood relative, you didn't go. There were 25 people there, including my husband and myself. Formal; basically, the wedding my husband wanted. The following day, we had a huge bbq out of doors and invited everyone under the sun; fun event, we called it the 24-hour anniversary celebration of our wedding. Totally informal; basically, the wedding I wanted. So, how many millions of ways did people get their knickers in a knot about it? I don't need to list them, do I?  In hindsight, I would probably have just done a more traditional wedding if I had any idea how people would mis-interpret what we were doing. Some people thought they weren't being included, some people thought we were too formal, then too informal, then ... blah, blah, blah. So, what do I think of the situation the OP is in? There is probably a reasons for everything, and the bride and groom know what they are. Unless the people in question are a$$hats (in which case, just decline the invite), I'd let it go, have a nice time at the party and leave it at that. |
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| Onelanerode | Apr 22 2013, 04:59 PM Post #6 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Wise words. Thanks for giving me some perspective, all of you. 
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| FlashGordon | Apr 23 2013, 06:24 AM Post #7 |
You're BANNED!
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OLR, I've decided that weddings are just... odd.... events sometimes. I have a group of friends from college. Some of us were roommates at one point or another. Everyone got married within the last 5-6 years. I wasn't invited to 3 of the weddings. One of the girls, I had lived with. I was kinda bummed about that one! I couldn't figure out why I didn't make the cut so to speak..... I didn't ask but can only guess: The one wedding was out of town and Colton was pretty little, so I guess they assumed we wouldn't make the trip. One wedding was very small. The last was someone who I wasn't as close with as I once was. Nevertheless, it did sting a little bit. I've also remained friends with all 3 of them so I don't think it was necessarily anything personal, as in, they just don't like me! (LOL) So yeah... weddings are weird business. I've stopped trying to make sense of them. 
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