Taking the plunge.. Help and advise.

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Taking the plunge.. Help and advise.
Tweet Topic Started: Apr 16 2013, 08:23 AM (850 Views)
Sannois	Apr 17 2013, 07:47 PM Post #31
You're BANNED! Posts: 7,112 Group: Members Member #116 Joined: January 7, 2007	Okay guys, I may be slow to come to a common sense decision, but ion But after thinking tonight, and (Yes he can be helpful) talking to Ex. I have a possible common sense plan, but it is late, and I am tired and I will type it up in the morning. Will be looking forward to feedback! Thanks you guys!



Kassandra	Apr 17 2013, 08:58 PM Post #32
Is the meadow on fire? Posts: 1,940 Group: Members Member #4,960 Joined: April 13, 2010	I think given your situation you would be crazy to buy a house right now. You could feel like you are "wasting" money on rent, but getting stuck someplace after dumping money into it, then trying to sell and paying commissions and possibly losing money would be so much worse IMO. I can't imagine not having a job and not knowing what I REALLY wanted to do, and buying a house. Anyway, just playing devil's advocate. But heaven forbid something happened to my husband or I end up suddenly single, the last thing on earth I would be thinking of is tying myself to one place before I really had a clue where I wanted to land.



JanM	Apr 18 2013, 04:37 AM Post #33
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back. Posts: 1,143 Group: Members Member #4,549 Joined: October 25, 2008	Exactly right Kassandra. Don't do anything financially that will tie you to a place for years. Resale is so difficult now, and many buyers want you to pay all of their closing costs, plus as a seller you pay all of the commissions for both real estate agents, and the big closing costs a seller has to pay. You can figure at least 10% off the selling price, and that's after the buyers' try to get you to redo things around the house, or to give them credits for everything. I know the idea of having your own secure and peaceful place is attractive, but it's not a good thing to buy unless you are totally committed to living there for five or more years, and who knows what the sale market will be then. As I said on TOB, tell use about your places you would like to move to, and people on here can comment from their experience if that's doable or not. If you need to work, then people can tell you what the job market is like also for your field, and in that area. When I've looked for jobs, I try to never apply at places that I can't afford to live, and even if a place looks affordable, that could be because the cheaper places are foreclosures or short sales, and might also need massive fixups. I've vowed to never buy another fixer house, because the price savings on purchase is equaled or surpassed by the cost of fixups.



Sannois	Apr 18 2013, 06:25 AM Post #34
You're BANNED! Posts: 7,112 Group: Members Member #116 Joined: January 7, 2007	Well it may have taken me years, but I am finally starting to think like a grown up. After a VERY fitful night in bed, Half because of big T storm, and my brain racing around about buying a house.. I sat bolt upright in bed and realized I would be making a huge mistake. Spending a huge chunk of my money, and locking myself into a state where I really do not want to spend the rest of my life. I have been here over 30 years, and the past 15 I have asked myself WHY are you still here? I pictured myself with the biggest case of buyers remorse ever. This is all the money I have, and I know I must use it wisely. So Since I still have the notion of being a travelling person, But have never done it in an RV I took some COTHERS advise and looked into renting one for a week or two. There is a national company, US RV that rents them all over the country. All sizes and models. What I do not know, is will I like the life after a week? And since I want to go visit places for possibilities to move ( Got my list from Find my Spot) This can kill 2 birds with one stone. I can plan a week or 2 trip to check out the places I find most interesting, while still doing the RV thing. I am going to rent a small model, to see if I can feel comfortable with all the ins and outs. Sure I could do the whole trip cheaper driving my car, but this is a test to see if I would really want to go purchase an RV. (Another insane idea would have been to just buy one. Yup I am capable of that kind of idiocy So I am compiling my list, and then I am going to post it on here, so if any of you have connections or know any thing about the places or places in the area to check out I can take advantage of your knowledge. I am also doing it on COTH. Having a big network of friends will really be a great help,I already got two invites from COTHERS! LOL So what do you all think? Sounds a lot more sane doesn't it. The pad and pen is my friend. Everything is getting written down. If it ever stops raining here I am going to go to the RV place and check out what the plan is and what is available etc. Really love that you guys have been here to help me make sense of my sometimes less than stellar ideas.



Reynard Ridge	Apr 18 2013, 08:56 AM Post #35
Drivin' The Short Bus Posts: 2,934 Group: Members Member #237 Joined: January 8, 2007	I'd give that plan the stamp of approval. Short term, data collection, gives you a better idea of your options. Good luck.



JanM	Apr 18 2013, 08:56 AM Post #36
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back. Posts: 1,143 Group: Members Member #4,549 Joined: October 25, 2008	If you like a particular place, then when the RV time is up, you can look around in the favorite spot for rentals. Many trailer parks, especially 55+ have rentals, and some are furnished. People move to warmer climates, don't do research, go out and buy a trailer, and then want to move back home or buy a regular house. In big Snowbird areas like Arizona there are entire parks of mostly winter residents, or people who now live there full time, and they either have RVs or mobile homes permanently parked-those places need staff and managers, and some include housing. It might be a way to see how you like a particular area, and work also.



Indy	Apr 18 2013, 03:25 PM Post #37
You're BANNED! Posts: 8,083 Group: Admin Member #326 Joined: January 10, 2007	I think your RV plan sounds like a great idea. A great way to see the parts of the country you might want to move to and spend some time there, without having to make a big commitment. Plus, I think that traveling around in an RV sounds like a lot of fun.



Sannois	Apr 19 2013, 03:49 AM Post #38
You're BANNED! Posts: 7,112 Group: Members Member #116 Joined: January 7, 2007	Okay, could someone please explain ME? Why do I keep coming up with thoughts that this is al too scary? I talk myself into it and I am fine then the next day I wake up in a cold sweat freaking out? Man I am nuts!



JanM	Apr 19 2013, 04:09 AM Post #39
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back. Posts: 1,143 Group: Members Member #4,549 Joined: October 25, 2008	Change is scary. You're not moving today, but going on an adventure, and you might find out you don't like the world out there, but you might come to a place that is home. You deserve to be happy, and if it's somewhere else, then I'm sure you'll find it. When Dan Rather retired, and his last broadcast word was "Courage", I thought it was too little. Since then I've found that when I feel chicken, that saying "Courage" to myself helps. It's easy to stay bored, and in the same rut, but you could have a very different, fulfilling life elsewhere, and you need to go see what the world is like elsewhere. You might realize Michigan is home, but you can always move back if you don't lock yourself into a permanent situation (buying a house) somewhere else. And if you just rent, then you can see if a new place isn't a good fit, then you go somewhere else. Before you leave, or move or whatever you do, go through your stuff and clean out what you don't want or need-it helps not to move stuff you don't need, and either way you'll eventually have to move.



Sannois	Apr 19 2013, 05:44 AM Post #40
You're BANNED! Posts: 7,112 Group: Members Member #116 Joined: January 7, 2007	JanM Apr 19 2013, 04:09 AM Change is scary. You're not moving today, but going on an adventure, and you might find out you don't like the world out there, but you might come to a place that is home. You deserve to be happy, and if it's somewhere else, then I'm sure you'll find it. When Dan Rather retired, and his last broadcast word was "Courage", I thought it was too little. Since then I've found that when I feel chicken, that saying "Courage" to myself helps. It's easy to stay bored, and in the same rut, but you could have a very different, fulfilling life elsewhere, and you need to go see what the world is like elsewhere. You might realize Michigan is home, but you can always move back if you don't lock yourself into a permanent situation (buying a house) somewhere else. And if you just rent, then you can see if a new place isn't a good fit, then you go somewhere else. Before you leave, or move or whatever you do, go through your stuff and clean out what you don't want or need-it helps not to move stuff you don't need, and either way you'll eventually have to move. Thanks Jan, I know, IT is not that big of a deal, I am truly trying to look at it as a growth thing. And man I need it. What is the saying, the The Devil you know is better than the Devil you don't? LOL As far as stuff goes, I have very little. In fact one of the reasons Okay small reason I did not buy the house I adored was I would be drowning in empty space. I have never been a collector, or a saver, so I have a few tubs of horse stuff, A small round table, a bed, a couch, an old truck, and a few lamps. LOL So kitchen stuff, etc. Of course Ex says when he sells this house, I can have it all.



Kassandra	Apr 19 2013, 06:23 AM Post #41
Is the meadow on fire? Posts: 1,940 Group: Members Member #4,960 Joined: April 13, 2010	I think you are talking about it too much, and looking for others validation. At some point you have to make the decision for yourself and get on with it no matter if you are scared, or others make you question it, or any other external source keeps you from just doing it! IMO you need to give yourself a timeline for making this decision for good, then shut up and go.



Sannois	Apr 19 2013, 07:10 AM Post #42
You're BANNED! Posts: 7,112 Group: Members Member #116 Joined: January 7, 2007	Kassandra Apr 19 2013, 06:23 AM I think you are talking about it too much, and looking for others validation. At some point you have to make the decision for yourself and get on with it no matter if you are scared, or others make you question it, or any other external source keeps you from just doing it! IMO you need to give yourself a timeline for making this decision for good, then shut up and go. Sorry.. I guess you are right, I just appreciated the support. I'll shut up now!



Kassandra	Apr 19 2013, 07:53 AM Post #43
Is the meadow on fire? Posts: 1,940 Group: Members Member #4,960 Joined: April 13, 2010	No sorry! And don't shut up about the trip, shut up about the decision!! Please talk about the trip...we would all like to help you plan it and cheer you on



Twiceshy	Apr 19 2013, 09:22 AM Post #44
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back. Posts: 1,149 Group: Members Member #730 Joined: February 5, 2007	Sannois, are you familiar with the term 'analysis paralysis'? It's easy to see how this decision is incredibly difficult for you - it represents a life change. Life changes are hard, and they're harder for some than others. You've been through a lot of life changes in the last few years, and they weren't pleasant ones so I can see why you're having so much trouble. I think that if it helps you to talk about it and gain feedback from others, you should continue to seek it. The danger you run into however - and maybe this is what Kassandra was trying to say - is spending so much time and effort gathering insight and feedback from others (who don't know you like you do) that a year passes and you're still in the same life situation. We only have so many days on this planet, Sannois. Do you want to spend the ones you have remaining in your current situation? Of course not. Getting away from where you are now, even if for a week or two may make it easier to see things clearly. I think you're taking some great first steps - keep going!



Sannois	Apr 19 2013, 02:37 PM Post #45
You're BANNED! Posts: 7,112 Group: Members Member #116 Joined: January 7, 2007	Twiceshy Apr 19 2013, 09:22 AM Sannois, are you familiar with the term 'analysis paralysis'? It's easy to see how this decision is incredibly difficult for you - it represents a life change. Life changes are hard, and they're harder for some than others. You've been through a lot of life changes in the last few years, and they weren't pleasant ones so I can see why you're having so much trouble. I think that if it helps you to talk about it and gain feedback from others, you should continue to seek it. The danger you run into however - and maybe this is what Kassandra was trying to say - is spending so much time and effort gathering insight and feedback from others (who don't know you like you do) that a year passes and you're still in the same life situation. We only have so many days on this planet, Sannois. Do you want to spend the ones you have remaining in your current situation? Of course not. Getting away from where you are now, even if for a week or two may make it easier to see things clearly. I think you're taking some great first steps - keep going! No Never heard the term, but it sure makes sense. I will say one thing, I have come to the realization that I have all too often done what others have told me I should do, (Ex included) And not what I want to do in my heart of hearts, wether others think it is the right or wrong decision, I am going to try and do what makes me happy. And not worry about what others think. Like I said it ain't easy being me!



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