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| So C is likely autistic; and I'm not handling it all that gracefully. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 4 2013, 09:10 PM (2,321 Views) | |
| gunnar | Apr 5 2013, 10:43 AM Post #31 |
You're BANNED!
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I agree! Talk to her! She is listening! I talk to Mother everyday! Lately mostly I yell lately but it helps! |
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| jillincolorado | Apr 5 2013, 11:13 AM Post #32 |
You're BANNED!
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Oh FG  I am sorry that things are heading this direction. I do not have any experience really, but just want to say that if it *does* turn out to be the diagnosis; C has the BEST Momma possible to help him. You are so patient, kind, and devoted.  My hat is off to you from one parent to another.Diagnosis for A have some such a LONG way, that I am certain you will find competent treatments and therapies to help you to evolve an effective program for C and for your family. I'm certain that it does nothing to soften the blow you must feel as a parent. Love to you and to C  |
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| JanM | Apr 5 2013, 12:14 PM Post #33 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I disagree, you are handling it well. Handling it badly would mean you deny anything is wrong, or might be wrong, and wouldn't try to get him help, or see what you could do for him. Unfortunately, there are parents that keep a mask of normalcy, never admit anything is wrong, and never even try. Their children suffer for this. Look at some of the websites that are out there, such as Autism Speaks, and see how much progress has been made. Joe Scarborough of Morning Joe on MSNBC has a son with Asperger's, and he has discussed some of the challenges and coping mechanisms that the family have used over the years to help with social interactions, and other challenges. His son doesn't get the normal cues from social interaction, so when he picks him up from school they rehearse different types of situations, and how to behave. It's so cute, and I'm sure it helps viewers see there are possibilities in every child. It could turnout that he actually doesn't have Autism Spectrum, but some other issues, and there is so much that can be done for children these days, through therapy, behavioral and social therapy, and other treatments, and I'm sure whatever happens you'll find a way to help your little boy. |
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| WhySoSerious | Apr 5 2013, 12:24 PM Post #34 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I don't have any advice to add, but you and your husband are wonderful parents that love and care for your children no matter what. It is definitely a big thing to wrap your head around, but make it through just fine and you can always rest assured you've done everything possible for your son. Hugs!! |
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| onthebit | Apr 5 2013, 01:05 PM Post #35 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I agree with Jan in that handling it poorly would be pretending there is nothing wrong, or trying to force him to act "normal." One of my good friends has 3 kids, and 2 of them fall in the autism spectrum. One is pretty severe, the other mild. She is such an amazing mom and she reminds me much of you. I think as time goes on you will be surprised at how much better *everyone* will be at adapting and handling C's unique approach to life. Your dad and brother will gain a lot more acceptance and understanding over time, you and Marc will become better and better at interpreting what C is wanting or trying to communicate, anticipating things, and finding the resources he needs, etc. I read a fabulous article a few weeks ago about children who grow up with learning disabilities or a spectrum diagnosis such as autism. The main point of the article was that these kids learn so very young how to overcome things and problem solve because they are coming at life in a different way than everyone else. This leads to so many of them goong on to do absolutely amazing things in life because they began developing and fine tuning these critical life skills far younger than most of us have to. It was a great read, I wish I could remember where I read it. It makes me think that with the amazing family support that C has in his parents and sister that although the road may feel bumpier for him sometimes life has great things waiting for him. |
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| onwego | Apr 5 2013, 03:20 PM Post #36 |
You're BANNED!
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| Kassandra | Apr 5 2013, 03:46 PM Post #37 |
Is the meadow on fire?
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So sorry FG, just want to voice my love and support. I have no doubt that you will do what's best, wish I had a mom like you  Big hugs. |
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| JanM | Apr 5 2013, 05:21 PM Post #38 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Don't even try to decide what happened to cause this, or who is at 'fault'. No one caused this, and no one is responsible. Years ago a family friend had a child with cleft palate. It was surgically repaired very early, and the child and family joined a huge study to determine what the causes of neural tube defect are. There was therapy, and treatment included, and extensive questioning, interviews, and other tools to determine the cause of the children's conditions. After many years of study, investigations, and all of the study, it was determined that folic acid levels needed to be higher in pregnant women, and before pregnancy. That is why women are advised to eat folic acid sources, or use supplements if needed. It took the work of hundreds of people, many years, and extensive research before they were able to figure out a way that will prevent some of the problems, but they still decided that some things just happen, and can't be prevented. Some things just happen. It might be that there will be a genetic tendency for Autism Spectrum Disorders, but there is not current way of predicting this, or any other way to know what will happen with each individual. Knowing what created a condition will not help one iota in dealing with this. And as you said, maybe this is why the camp deal fell through, and now you have the resources to help your son with whatever his issues may be. |
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| smorse | Apr 6 2013, 07:12 AM Post #39 |
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Shunnnnn the unbeliever. Shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
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Another person who has no kids, so not much advice here. Jenny McCarthy (sp?) has a son with autism, although I think she thinks it came on because of innoculations. But I believe she has looked into diet and that is also something you might want to research for Colt, especially since he has GI issues. Agree with getting more info from Temple Grandin. Colt's got a great big sis, Mom and Dad.
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| JanM | Apr 6 2013, 11:41 AM Post #40 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Smorse-Jenny McCarthy has some pretty scary views on treatments for autism, and has been criticized for claiming that her son's autism was cured by chelation therapy. She was uninvited by an autism conference in Ottawa because of her views. I guess desperate people try almost anything sometimes, chelation therapy seems extremely risky. I'm wondering if the isolation, and the time he was so ill made C. more introverted, and means that he is used to not interacting with the rest of the world? And some drugs do cause developmental delays, and can damage hearing, and I'm wondering if the period he was so ill made him more self-sufficient and he's not reaching out the way other kids do. Shyness is believed to be a genetic trait, so he might not be as out-going as other kids, but that might be normal for him. |
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| Indy | Apr 6 2013, 12:07 PM Post #41 |
You're BANNED!
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Jenny McCarthy is scary. She needs to stick to acting or whatever she does. Any doctor worth their salt will tell you that her insistence that her kid is Autistic because she had him vaccinated is crap (the doctor who started the whole vaccines lead to Autism theory has been proven wrong repeatedly).
Edited by Indy, Apr 6 2013, 12:08 PM.
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| Trialbyfire | Apr 6 2013, 12:40 PM Post #42 |
You're BANNED!
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Let's not go on a tangent and discuss autism theories; there are many and people from normal to crazy that support every side. I am sure in 50 years we will all know a lot more about the causes and possible genetic connection but for now....you just have to find a doctor/therapist you trust and go from there. FG, hope you're doing ok today! Just keep forging ahead.
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| FlashGordon | Apr 6 2013, 04:55 PM Post #43 |
You're BANNED!
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They do certainly know more now, than they did even 20 or 30 years ago, and I am sure it will continue to get better. However at this point, the only *known* cause of autism is Fragile X syndrome, which is a genetic permutation. I'd bet there are more genetic links, perhaps environmental factors that play in, who knows. It also seems food allergies and GI issues are common amongst children with autism, and I could be wrong, but I am not sure they understand the correlation quite yet. My own PCP has a son who is autistic and he is very low functioning. She sees Colton when he tags along to my appointments with her. She's the one who originally encouraged me to seek out an eval for him. She's also recommended a specialist who is at a teaching hospital a few hours away. Apparently she is chair of the Autism Subcommittee for the American Academy of Pediatrics. It has been nice to have her support and to talk with someone that understands what we are dealing with. Her son is a teenager now so she has certainly been through all the ups and downs. Personally, I'm not really into the more controversial treatments or therapies... but I can see how parents investigate any and all possible solutions/therapies/cures/etc. It is a very desperate feeling to know your child is somehow disconnected from reality, and you just want to cling to any part of them that you can. Jan it is quite possible that his delays are a result of him being so sick last year, or that whatever he has going on has just been exacerbated by that. He does however have some very classic ASD things going on like hand flapping, spinning, general stimming. That, coupled with the language issues, anxiety/OCD, social delays leads us and his med peeps to believe it is more classic autism. However he would be classed as relatively high functioning (we believe,) so our hope is that through therapy and such we will be able to help him overcome some of this stuff. I'm a little weepy about the whole thing this last week. Last night I had an awful dream I was at a school function with him, and lost him. I finally found him in the pool, under the water, and I couldn't get him out. Rather metaphorical, lol. I hate anxiety dreams! We had my mom's 65th birthday party today and it was a struggle for him. Also there were three 2 year old boys there and it was hard to see him in contrast to them. I just want to scoop him up and put him in my pocket and protect him! Thankfully we got through the party just fine, and my mom's side of the family is all very kind and sweet to him. Anyway thanks again to you guys for letting me talk about this here, and for being so kind in your replies. I know we will be just fine, he will too. He is truly a bright, unique, amazing kid-- I just want life to be good to him.
Edited by FlashGordon, Apr 6 2013, 04:56 PM.
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| Reynard Ridge | Apr 7 2013, 10:18 AM Post #44 |
Drivin' The Short Bus
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| gunnar | Apr 7 2013, 10:22 AM Post #45 |
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You're BANNED!
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Sending big hugs! |
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