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| So C is likely autistic; and I'm not handling it all that gracefully. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 4 2013, 09:10 PM (2,322 Views) | |
| MayaTy02 | Apr 5 2013, 06:42 AM Post #16 |
You're BANNED!
  ![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
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oh the tags and the socks, how could i forget twiceshy!!! He STILL has issues with socks... they can have seems but absolutely no holes LOL and have to be just the right type, not ankle socks etc. Ty would also forget his head if it weren't attached to his body... he's enormously scattered. |
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| TortoiseT | Apr 5 2013, 06:46 AM Post #17 |
Thomas H. Cruise!
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C is lucky to have supportive and loving parents who are understanding and want what is best for him. Not every child is so lucky, but he has certainly hit the jackpot! Praying hard for you and Colt and your family. |
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| Barn Girl | Apr 5 2013, 07:04 AM Post #18 |
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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I have nothing else to offer but am sending big  to you, FG. You are such a great mom, and things will be ok because you will make sure they are!
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| bellaluna | Apr 5 2013, 07:08 AM Post #19 |
Magical Leopluridon
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to you FG. And please don't apologize for discussing this here, the fact that members can discuss personal issues in a frank way is one of the best things about this forum. I have no personal experiences to share but I just want to second those who said he is lucky to have you and Mr. FG as parents. You have been amazing with both kids through their various issues. Horse Boy, the book RH mentioned is also a documentary that I really enjoyed. I would also really recommend Temple Grandin's books and the movie made about her with Claire Danes. Her story is another example of how important animals can be for kids on the autism spectrum and how far they can come considering she went from being non-verbal and out of control to getting a PhD and having a successful career as an engineer and author. |
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| kbrethauer | Apr 5 2013, 07:57 AM Post #20 |
Shunnnnn the unbeliever. Shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
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Big hugs to you FG! Zero experience with kid stuff here but you have some great advice from everyone here. Much love!
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| Won for Me | Apr 5 2013, 07:57 AM Post #21 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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Huge hugs to you and Colt. I have no experience, but I stumbled across a blog that I think might be helpful. The mom is very good at using the resources that are available in her area. She has four boys under the age of 5 and the oldest has a lot of other issues and is autistic. Then she had twins, of which one is autistic and she is just going through the evaluation steps now. The blog is http://birdonthestreet.com/. I will admit sometimes I read her blog when I think my day is rough. And I realize my days are easy...despite what I think is a bad day. |
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| Indy | Apr 5 2013, 08:26 AM Post #22 |
You're BANNED!
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No good advice, but you're such a good mom to your kiddos. I have no doubt that you are going to get Colt the best help available so he can thrive and grow up to be the best Colt he can possibly be. Autism is such a broad spectrum diagnosis, it doesn't mean he won't go on to live a productive life. Your family will come around and even if they don't, you and Mr. FG are strong and Kena is awesome. You will get through this together. |
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| ShadowMare | Apr 5 2013, 08:27 AM Post #23 |
We're on a bridge, Chaaaaaaaaarlie!
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Oh, Flashy, HUGE HUGS to you, Marc and your loffly kids...this, I am sure, has not been easy. But, you are to be commended for your wonderful love and care and attitude! You're a great Mom! I echo the suggestion about reading about Temple Grandin...she has an amazing story! And, there are MANY folks who have done wonderful (currently or in the past), new and creative things in the world are/were autistic. So many autistic folks are highly intelligent and just are awesome in what they can do! And, getting Colt the support and care now will pay off in the future for him and all of you. My DH's best friend is an autistic man who also has crippling Rheumatoid Arthritis. The RA stopped him from doing more things in life than the autism! He grew up to have a very solid career in technology...I fully realize that autism is a "spectrum" and so not every person is the same in potential or abilities, but as many here have said there are many future paths and options for him...he's got a GREAT team with you, your DH and the sweet sister he has! Massive JINGLES!!!! |
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| Reynard Ridge | Apr 5 2013, 08:28 AM Post #24 |
Drivin' The Short Bus
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O, FG, I had no idea. And nothing to offer other than my support.
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| FlashGordon | Apr 5 2013, 08:32 AM Post #25 |
You're BANNED!
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This is so true! Most of the time, day and night, we are so busy parenting him that we only think about the here and now. He only settles for the night around 11pm, and then I spend an hour or two doing work... and everyone else is asleep, the house is dark, it is then that my mind starts to wander and I find myself most depressed/upset/worried about it. He has alway has been "wired" differently, from the time he was brand new. Looking back, it makes sense, especially given that autism is a neurological condition. I am certain it is something individuals are born with, not something that "happens" to them randomly or as a result of any triggers per se. It is often really fascinating to see how his brain operates and how he perceives and senses things. I try to remember that he is truly a really happy kid, even though his "happiness" doesn't evolve out of the typical kid things, if that makes any sense. If I let go of my pre-conceived notions of how his life and experiences should be, and just watch and appreciate how he IS, I find a lot of peace. He is clearly very bright and my hope is that early intervention and therapy will help him to develop the social and communicative skills he needs to get along in life. It is funny-- we were so bummed about the camp scenario not working out, but I know now why it didn't. If we were way out there in the boonies we would be VERY far from the services, therapists, and care he needs. Not to mention we'd be exponentially busier dealing with growing and running a business. It is better we have stayed where we are and are able to tailor our jobs around his needs at the moment. On the plus side too, despite the stress of it all, our little family unit does just fine. We are used to him and dealing with him, and while it is not always easy, I am very blessed in that Marc is unbelievably great with him.... which I never would have anticipated, given his own anxiety issues. Marc is unique in his own way and I think he is especially good at relating to him. And like I said, M takes her big sister role very seriously and I think she sees her mission in life being one to protect and help him. She never resents him or the attention he needs. She is never, ever impatient or unkind. It's pretty amazing! He loves animals, Daisy in particular, and I have wondered if perhaps riding would be helpful eventually. I think he would like the movement/sensation and I know kids with autism in particular seem to benefit from equine therapy. It does help to hear stories of other kids who had delays, sensory issues, or were thought to have an ASD who then went on to do just fine.... I personally don't care what or how he is, I love him regardless, I just know how harsh the world can be and I want him to be ok. I will admit, I have been grieving. Even though I don't consciously do it, or want to do it, I am. I don't grieve him being "normal," I think I grieve more for the normalcy of our life.... our days and nights are totally strange, to the outside, and it has isolated me quite a bit from family, friends, etc. because his needs dictate how and what goes on to a degree that is beyond a "typical" kid. I think I'm also missing my grandma a ton, as she is who I'd turn to in a situation like this. My uncle had a mixture of issues, delays, mental retardation and schizophrenia. He was challenging and she handled it all with grace, and she was a real champion for special needs children and adults and worked diligently to make changes to the county's mental health facilities and programs. I wish I had her wisdom to draw on right now! Anyway thanks to all for the support and stories, I am glad I reached out to you guys. We have lived in this weird bubble of just micromanaging him, and like I said it becomes quite lonely especially when friends and family don't understand and/or his issues make them uncomfortable. |
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| SnackPack | Apr 5 2013, 08:37 AM Post #26 |
You're BANNED!
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This. Just keep loving him for who he is each day and you'll get through anything thrown at you. |
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| FlashGordon | Apr 5 2013, 08:39 AM Post #27 |
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You're BANNED!
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Oh the socks! Lol. Yes tags, clothing in general, even diapers are a challenge a lot of days. Sometimes I just let him run naked during the day, while Kena is at school and it is just him and I. We finally did find some socks he would wear. And I am thankful that winter is almost over, the coat/hat/glove/boot thing was a lost cause a lot of days. Wish I had a like button, thanks again all for the very sweet replies. Edited by FlashGordon, Apr 5 2013, 08:39 AM.
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| MayaTy02 | Apr 5 2013, 09:25 AM Post #28 |
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You're BANNED!
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here's the thing though Flash, he will always just be Colt to you, and at some point you won't worry about this, and you will just go on with your life taking what is handed to you and it will be your new reality, and you will rise to the occasion. You will be his advocate and his greatest supporter, that I know. Again I don't want to compare Ty with Colt because i'm sure they are very different... but with us, I honestly don't think about how he "is" other than once per year and when that time comes, i have nearly forgotten that he's not a "typical boy". That one time is the beginning of the school year when he has a new teacher. We inevitably hear from him or is teacher a week in about how stressed and frustrated he is, and through tears he tells me he doesn't understand or didn't hear the teacher say something. It's heartbreaking but it's part of my job as his mom to meet with his teacher and explain his needs and how his brain works, and then have them review his file (because he's not actively receiving services, but he has records from when he did). Then the teacher "gets it" and all is fine. It's intesting though, that is the only time during the year that I'm reminded that he's a not a "typical" boy. Everything else that happens on a daily basis is just Ty, the Ty we've come to love and accept as he is. Edited by MayaTy02, Apr 5 2013, 09:26 AM.
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| Fish Cheeks | Apr 5 2013, 09:44 AM Post #29 |
You're BANNED!
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I'm sure you're missing your grandma right now - she sounds like she was a very special lady. But, you are a special lady, too. She taught you a lot and even though she isn't with you in person, her spirit is with you to offer guidance. And I'm just going to give you a little one of these  for the title of your thread and saying that you aren't handling it gracefully. Because you are. And your grandma would be proud.
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| Won for Me | Apr 5 2013, 10:36 AM Post #30 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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FG, I think your Grandma is there to help. You will see it. She is there to listen, too. Maybe the 11 PM is the hour to talk to her. |
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