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| Dress rehearsal - ballet video! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 21 2013, 10:40 PM (2,667 Views) | |
| ShadowMare | Mar 26 2013, 11:24 AM Post #61 |
We're on a bridge, Chaaaaaaaaarlie!
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Understood, RHowell. I see what happened. I am not trying to slam V, either! She called something out she felt was wrong, which is her right. I think that if this conversation had been taking place in person, complete with facial expressions and voice tones, it may not have gotten to this point. Sometimes it's really hard to explain or sound like we're reacting correctly...or if one is hurt by something or angered by something, an interchange which takes seconds in a personal communication can take much writing to clarify. I am not slamming V or FC as it was clearly a snagged back and forth, and I see both sides as to how each felt personally hurt. Perhaps we could just all agree to meet in the middle and shake hands and move on in a constructive way? I would hate to see any of you feel upset enough to just leave...to me, you ALL have good things to share and say. |
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| Barn Girl | Mar 26 2013, 11:37 AM Post #62 |
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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Wow... this thread sure has evolved from one that started as a dance video.  I have to say, I must be more oblivious than I realized because I never knew GHH was put down on here or about any of the other drama referenced. And while I think the only person I've met IRL is SSR, I do have knowledge of a few of you (like I've ridden one of RH's horses).SM, I agree with you as far as the board... this tends to be the "happy place" for me, I go to TOB to get my kicks when I need drama.  But I don't think that means we need not ever criticize or question one another. I will admit that I'm guilty of sometimes withholding my opinion when I disagree with a poster. It's easier to respond as a voice of agreement/encouragement than it is to respond as a voice of dissent sometimes. I tend to be like RH in that I'm very forthright and blunt IRL, and not everyone is receptive to that, which is fine, but I think it's easier to come across as bitchy on the interwebz. So sometimes I stay quiet, and that's not necessarily a good thing. I'm guessing I'm not the only one on here that does this, so it becomes "nicey-nice" by default.
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| SnackPack | Mar 26 2013, 11:43 AM Post #63 |
You're BANNED!
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GHH: I'm glad you have been able to slowly make things right. In the end, that is what really matters and is the life lesson. When I lost my job, I freaked out about how I was going to pay for my two horses and life, etc. Thank God I wasn't unemployed for long and didn't find myself having to make tough choices. It was a super scary time in my life. RH: I, too, have been called mean because I say like I see it and often that isn't well received. I'm also as loyal as they come if I count you as a friend. I appreciate those qualities about you. You've also proved, with your post (and absolutely NOT something you needed to prove to me or anyone else), that most people don't know the real story behind anyone's journey. I admit to having a little envy of your life...but after your post...I don't envy you nearly as much. When you see someone doing the things you would love to be able to do, it's easy to believe that it is coming easy for them. It usually turns out that there is a lot of blood, sweat and tears involved for them as well...and trading places might not be as attractive as it sounds. I try to remind myself regularly that while I am envious of someone's horse, lifestyle, physique, whatever...that there is someone out there who is envious of MY horse, lifestyle and yes...even my non-perfect physique. That while my life could always be better, it could also be a TON worse...and that it is pretty darn good as it is. I've really enjoyed the TOC community. I've "met" some great people on here and I love reading about what is going on with everyone (especially the horse stuff). We are bound to have drama from time to time and it's not entirely a bad thing. How it's handled and then forgiven is what is really the key. I like seeing VXF stand up for what she sees could be an issue. I admire how Fishy apologized for getting wound up about it. There are many things to admire in each poster on this forum, there are also things to learn from. Edited by SnackPack, Mar 26 2013, 12:17 PM.
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| vxf111 | Mar 26 2013, 11:48 AM Post #64 |
You're BANNED!
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I do not want to jump back into the "is it kind to use a nickname under these circumstances" part of the post. FC apologized. I apologized. It may have been a total misunderstanding. I meant my post to come off in a non-hurtful way. I think FC has now taken it in the spirit in which it was intended. I think what's done is done there and I hope FC realizes I never meant anything hurtful to her and was trying to be constructive if not a yes-(wo)man. I have been trying not to post on the thread because I want to let that part drop. But now it's turned into rehashing old issues and again I have to say-- please think about the accusations you publicly lob at people. It might be cathartic to discuss the issues but the accusations/subtle name calling is out of line. There are quite a few hurtful things being said that are just grossly unfair if they're meant the way they seem like they are. I really can't stand to see barbs unfairly thrown anyone's way. That was my whole point in the first place! Edited by vxf111, Mar 26 2013, 11:50 AM.
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| ShadowMare | Mar 26 2013, 11:51 AM Post #65 |
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We're on a bridge, Chaaaaaaaaarlie!
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I hope all here understood that I never meant we should not disagree. Indeed, in earlier times, a few disagreed (or criticised) something I said or had done (I'm talking about minor stuff, not something really life important to me...I recall being seriously criticised about what I was doing regarding bits for a horse...and that gal was RIGHT! LOL, she made me step back and LEARN!), and I learned from them and am grateful they took the time to point out something, whether "personal stuff" or "horsey stuff". So, no, I am not advocating "nicey nice" all the time and everyone has to swallow personal opinion or wanting to state their experience in a matter. But, it can be done firmly, yet civilly, and to me, when someone apologizes that should mean an attempt...if it is possible...to meet in the middle again and at least virtually shake hands and at the very least agree to disagree. I am sure if I thought it over, there likely are things I sometimes disagree with that I see written here (horse, personal, whatever)...but that's the nature of a group of people...and also its strength. Differing opinions or experiences or information help to makes us think, step back, see forests for trees, learn and grow, gain insights. At least, for me, many of the years I've been on this board this has been true. I would be posting a total text wall to list all I have gained from all of you...this has truly been a great group to my thinking, even IF I disagree with someone! I do hope that we can find a middle ground whereupon we all can gain what we need/want from TOC. I would hate to see it disband, though I do get what someone said earlier in the thread about groups of people changing and moving on over time...this is also a truth of human interaction. However, just at this point in time, it seems to me that's not yet the situation. All groups NEED the energy to survive by the individuals participating with their own abilities and energies and backgrounds. Maybe more will come out of lurking and post and participate after this open discussion? I think there are more people here than meets the eye...yes, we've lost some over time, but maybe we can entice those who lurk to post more often now? And, so, I am ASKING for all reading this to think that over and invite you to post! Yesterday, I myself thought over what someone said about most of the posts are only in the Hay Loft now...and she was right! SO, I realized I was also at fault for this, and went onto other thread subject areas and posted some questions for feedback from those here. I decided that when I can, I WILL PARTICIPATE here. That's all it will take if more of us do so. Edited by ShadowMare, Mar 26 2013, 11:56 AM.
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| Trialbyfire | Mar 26 2013, 11:52 AM Post #66 |
You're BANNED!
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I only know one person here IRL, but I can see how that complicates things. To further derail this thread - it does seem like we've lost members over time, and haven't gained many. So while I do enjoy the *happy place* atmosphere around here, it would be nice to have more activity on the board. Having been on a board that went defunct...it's pretty sad, especially when it dwindles down to nothing. If there are things we can do to increase the board traffic, it would be great. And maybe now that we have new mods/admins we can restructure the board a little to combine boards together so there are fewer areas? I have little horsey to update at the moment as we are just coming out of winter....but I am going to go pick my arena and get it ready for its first dragging tomorrow...  Then maybe I will upload a video of me riding for critique...that will get y'all talking!  Actually, not a bad idea...I do have a video of me riding the mare we bought in November...hmmm....Edited by Trialbyfire, Mar 26 2013, 11:53 AM.
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| BABYGREENTB | Mar 26 2013, 12:03 PM Post #67 |
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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I agree with pieces of this SM, and as always your kindness and compassion for others comes through loud and clear. However, the piece of GHH's post that I was objecting to wasn't to her efforts at making amends, in fact, I applaud that loudly and publicly. My objection was to the thinly veiled name calling directed none too subtlety at other posters (maybe even me) while saying "poor me, poor me, everyone is so awful to me and all these bad things happened." GHH - no one is asking for a pound of flesh. In fact, no one mentioned you at all until you threw your hat into the ring a few posts ago. I think everyone supports your current path towards making amends and applauds you for it. |
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| SnackPack | Mar 26 2013, 12:20 PM Post #68 |
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You're BANNED!
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 you upload video of you on your new mare...I'll do the same when Zeda gets here. That should be of interest or entertainment.
Edited by SnackPack, Mar 26 2013, 12:21 PM.
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| onthebit | Mar 26 2013, 02:05 PM Post #69 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I'm not around as much as some and I was also a bit lost in regards to some of the things that were being discussed in this thread. I don't know any of the active posters here IRL, but it does not mean that I have not had "real life" interactions with some of them. Flashy kindly helped me with some graphics for my website. When BarnGirl was looking for a horse a couple of years ago there was a local one for sale that she found online. I went and rode the horse for her and sent her a bunch of pictures of the test ride. I am sure she would do the same for me. When I was in the process of adopting my little boy from Russia last year Trialbyfire and Flashy were so helpful to me, sharing their experiences and answering my question. So even though I've never met Flashy, BarnGirl, or TBF in real life I would consider them "real" friends. One of the things I like best about this board is that we are not strictly limited to discussing horses. It is a common thread that brings us all together, yet we are allowed to get to know each other in other ways as well. I know that has been an asset to me at times in real life situations. And Fishy, I think it is awesome that you are taking ballet classes and that your recital went well. It is inspiring to me to see you pursuing some of your goals and dreams. You have really blossomed since you quit your job. It is truly amazing how much it was dragging you down, isn't it? |
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| Sannois | Mar 26 2013, 02:06 PM Post #70 |
You're BANNED!
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Heck I do not even have a clue to what this is all about so I have no business even posting. I was never here enough. So I am just going to slink off into the corner and let you guys work it out. Heck there are a ton of posts since I last read it. I am so confused! 
Edited by Sannois, Mar 26 2013, 02:12 PM.
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| Kikki | Mar 26 2013, 02:37 PM Post #71 |
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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Ok, I think there has been a lot of misunderstanding and disagreement here, which is normal and fine. But let's not make this thread into a constant airing of dirty laundry. At some point we all need to agree that we are a diverse group with diverse opinions. This thread doesn't need to continue in circles. |
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| gunnar | Mar 26 2013, 04:27 PM Post #72 |
You're BANNED!
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Two of my best days were spent with otb and her DH! Originally met on TOB but it was on TOC we grew closer and actually met! I really hope the board lives on! |
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| Sannois | Mar 26 2013, 04:58 PM Post #73 |
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You're BANNED!
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Well I have a way of changing the subject.. is that your horse in your avatar?? Just gorgeous! what a cool color! 
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| leastrock | Mar 26 2013, 05:00 PM Post #74 |
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I Visited Candy Mountain and All I Got Was This Lousy Incision
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If the "circle jerk" atmosphere was the problem, this thread certainly solved it. |
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| Barn Girl | Mar 26 2013, 05:48 PM Post #75 |
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It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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I wish we had a "like" button so I could like your post, leastrock. OTB, I forgot to mention that-- that was so cool that you checked him out for me. One of these days I'd love to get to TN and meet you and Mr. OTB and your wee one and see your farm. Our husbands could probably spend hours talking about tractors! I do consider many of y'all "real" friends as well though we've never met, and I'd miss anybody that decided to unsubscribe. So let's just all agree to disagree sometimes (respectfully) and leave it at that! I'm going to make an effort to post more HR stuff as well, and also to let my opinion be known even when it's not popular. Of course, I haven't been on my horse in over a month so I don't have much HR going on right now besides trying to sell him!
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