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| speak to me about life in your 20s | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 2 2013, 07:56 AM (1,547 Views) | |
| gunnar | Feb 12 2013, 10:40 PM Post #46 |
You're BANNED!
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I luff you all! WSS I would love to live on a horse ranch! Mybe in my newlife! I am doing much better! Things have calmed down here! My mood is much better! I appreciate all your support and ideas! To the OP sorry about overriding your thread! Hope you are ok LR! |
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| leastrock | Feb 13 2013, 03:39 PM Post #47 |
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I Visited Candy Mountain and All I Got Was This Lousy Incision
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No problem, gunnar. I'm glad things are being to look up for you. I'm doing fine. I'm trying to learn to embrace the present and reframe negativity with a different perspective. |
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| leastrock | Apr 1 2013, 07:05 AM Post #48 |
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I Visited Candy Mountain and All I Got Was This Lousy Incision
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I just reread this thread as I'm again feeling a little bit lost. I think many of my issues stem from being a bit lonely. I stayed in the relative area of where I grew up/attended college, thinking I had a bit of a network here and recognizing friends/family are very important to me. I would prefer to live somewhere else geographically and culturally but decided to stick around here to be close to the important people in my life. Unfortunately, other than a few weekends here and there when friends visit from out of the area, I am alone most of the time. My "best" friend from college lives a mile from me, but things have changed and the relationship is no longer fulfilling. I work with interesting people but in a very small office (4 total people). Most of the people I work/interact with on a daily basis are at least 20 years older than I am and are typically married with children. I've worked a variety of jobs in the several years I've been out of college and never had difficult forming close bonds with my co-workers because we were roughly in the same position (away from home, long hours, close in age). I'm left wondering why I decided to stay in this area, where I "know" many people but don't KNOW many people. Should I try to move to the places I really want to live? Should I do that before I really begin building my career since connections/contacts are so important in my field? These are some of the questions I find myself pondering. I think the realization that live has no manual to use to live is freeing half of the time and terrifying the other half. If anyone actually read all of this, I hope it didn't bore you to death. If nothing else, it certainly helped to get my feelings out and into some sort of cohesive expression. I need to learn to appreciate the present while experiencing it; stop putting my happiness off into some future plan or goal. My life is certainly not as miserable as it seems at times and I need to enjoy what I can and focus on the positive. |
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| Kassandra | Apr 1 2013, 07:57 AM Post #49 |
Is the meadow on fire?
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Yes, move, fast!! Well at least for me, I found taking off really helped change my perspective. It gave me the confidence to just do it. It opened me up to new people and new experiences. And for heavens sake, do it in your 20s when there are a bunch of other 20-somethings out there doing the same thing that feel the same way you do. Go, fly! 
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| Indy | Apr 1 2013, 08:24 AM Post #50 |
You're BANNED!
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Move. Pick a city that you like, pack your bags and go. Even if it's just for a few years and you wind up back where you came from, the experience will change your life and teach you more about yourself than you ever thought you'd know. Trust me. After college, I took a crappy job because I needed a job and moved back in with my mom because the rent was cheap enough that I could afford board for my horse too. The majority of my college friends were either younger than me so they were still in school or had moved out of state, and I didn't have any friends left in the area from high school. I'm not good at making friends where I work, plus they were all annoying "old" ladies. I was the only non-junior riding at the barn, so that wasn't a place for me to make friends either. Long story short, I kept the crappy, misery-making job for about a year and a half before quitting. I was depressed and alone. I tried going back to the barn job in FL that I had during college, but that was even more miserable than the crappy office job....still didn't have friends, was working 24/7, and my boss was crazy. During my time in FL, I took a weekend off and visited college friends in DC. I loved it there. Not only did I know quite a few people, but the city just felt right. So I quit the barn job, rehomed my horse, packed my car and moved. I drove out here with as much stuff as I could fit in my car, that was it. No job, just the decision that this was where I was going to start over. I moved in with a friend I visited and we took a 6 month apartment lease together. I had enough saved for six months rent so I figured that if I didn't have a job by the time our lease was up, I would tuck my tail between my legs and move back home. Nearly 9 years later, I'm still here. Employed, married, home-owner, and happier than I've ever been. I still don't have tons of friends, that's just not my nature, but I love where I live and I love the people I'm out here with. Was it easy? No, especially because I picked a very expensive area to live in. Did it make me instantly happy? No, but there were many more happy moments at first than I had in my old situation, which made it easier to get through the bad. Do I regret it? Not one second. So, if yo made it through my ramble, MOVE. Pick a city where you know people. Or pick a city where you know nobody but think it'd be cool to live there. Give yourself a reasonable timeframe to find your feet there and just go. Be brave, pack your car, and drive. At best, you'll find yourself in a new home that you love. At worse, you've had an adventure that you can grow from. Even if you wind up right back where you started from physically, you'll be a different person mentally. |
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| leastrock | Apr 1 2013, 07:45 PM Post #51 |
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I Visited Candy Mountain and All I Got Was This Lousy Incision
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I'm almost a little shocked by both your responses (in a good way!). To clarify (and still see if you feel the way ), I live about 2 hours from where I grew up and about an hour from where I went to college (although I'm in the heart of the alumni area). In my jobs since graduating college, I've had the opportunity to travel across the country for work and have seen our nation from sea to shining sea. I didn't want y'all to think I've been living in the same place my ENTIRE life. Where I live now is a giant improvement compared to my hometown, but I've been other places I want to live more. While I'm working my current low pay job in a pricey area (not too far from you, Indy), there's no way I can save enough to move somewhere without a job. I believe one way to break into a new area is to attend school (graduate, in my case) in the new area to establish some roots easier. I've been wanting to go to graduate school since college but haven't narrowed down exactly the right concentration just yet. The debt is scary but I know I won't make the big bucks and I can't take $$$$ loans out. At same time, I recognize that I won't be able to do what I truly want to do professionally (and personally) without investing more money and time into my education. In a world where everyone has a Bachelors degree, I'm finding that more education = an increased ability to get a job (that I want...although certainly not a guarantee). After several years of working jobs in related fields, I've finally landed a job in the field where I want to work. I'm making great professional connections and getting to know a lot of people. Sometimes I wonder if I can give this up for an adventure, but I realize I'm not truly happy living where I am. Different locations can offer me better quality of life things. Sorry for the ranting and raving (and incoherentness). I've had a few drinks with a friend this evening.   |
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| Kassandra | Apr 3 2013, 06:14 AM Post #52 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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Yeah, your last post makes it more confusing. If you finally landed a job in the field you want to work in, I would not give that up to go to graduate school and spend that money. How long have you been at this job? I would give this job 2 years then re-evaluate. If it's your first job in the field you want to work in, and you are finally headed in the direction you want to go in professionally, 2 years in the job minimum IMO. Graduate school is always there. Work experience is much more valuable in the current economy. |
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