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| speak to me about life in your 20s | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 2 2013, 07:56 AM (1,546 Views) | |
| leastrock | Feb 2 2013, 07:56 AM Post #1 |
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I Visited Candy Mountain and All I Got Was This Lousy Incision
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I could use some perspective this morning. I'm in my mid-to-late 20s, recently got a job doing exactly what I want to be doing, moved out of my parents' house, got my little girl dog, and feel like I've begun to live MY life. Unfortunately, the job I have pays very little, my rent is far too expensive, and I feel a bit uncertain about my future. These feelings come and go and often swing between the first statement and the second statement. The job and field in which I work is the type where you get in at the bottom, pay your dues and make connections, and can then move on to making better wages. I am making a lot of contacts and my supervisors know I can't do this forever and have been introducing me to key people and helping to get my name out. I live in a pretty expensive area and found the cheapest apartment I could afford. When I moved, I didn't know of anyone looking for a roommate and couldn't find any suitable rooming situations on Craigslist. My lease is for a year and there is no way out except being forced to involuntarily move out of the area. I'm stuck here at least for the better part of this year. How was life in your 20s? Tell me, despite the fear of being broke, homeless, and wayward, that things will be okay? 
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| Smiles | Feb 2 2013, 08:32 AM Post #2 |
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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The 20s is definitely a time of self exploration and compromise if you ask me. I think everyone feels after they get out of college they should be making a lot of money and be better off then their parents. Just because you go to college and think you've paid your dues getting "higher education" doesn't mean instant $$$ and I don't think they inform kids these days about that. There are so many people with college degrees now that having a bachelors degree is like having a high school diploma. You may have to except that for awhile or, more for that matter, that you may have to live pay check to pay check. You may have to put things on hold, for awhile, until you get to a place where you can financially afford it and be reasonable. And I think the reasonable thing is the most important key to it. I have many friends, whom, expected things like nice homes/cars/boats/ect in their 20s and now are in foreclosure/bankrupt/max out credit cards because they didn't get the simple math of having a budget and sticking to it. Yep, you may have to struggle and wait for those things you want now but you don't want to be irresponsible because it takes you down that other path. I think the things you could take away from your twenties is be financially responsible and save money. |
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| gunnar | Feb 2 2013, 08:59 AM Post #3 |
You're BANNED!
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I was married and doing pretty well in my 20s. Now I am 54, unemployed, seperated and poor. So you never know what life may bring! |
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| Fish Cheeks | Feb 2 2013, 09:34 AM Post #4 |
You're BANNED!
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In my 20s I didn't make a lot of money, couldn't live in an apartment without a roommate, could not have afforded a pet, and certainly couldn't afford to ride. In my late 20s I was doing better and I started riding again when I was 28 years old. You are not supposed to be rich and have it all in your 20s. Your 20s are when you struggle to make a name for yourself, find your way, move up the ladder, etc. I do think it can be a shock for people, especially if their parents paid for college and they got to "live large" during those years (basically if everything was paid for). Once you get out on your own you realize how expensive life is, especially if you live in an expensive area of the country. I'd suggest not buying things you don't need, don't get into credit card debt (I had a few friends in my 20s who were tens of thousands of dollars in debt just on their credit card bills - not good!), save as much as you can. Don't get Starbucks coffee every day, pack your own lunch, take public transportation if you can. Keep working hard to create a good reputation for yourself at the office. Smart, hard workers will get ahead - it is amazing how many "smart" (or intelligent, if you will) people really aren't smart. Good luck to you! |
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| Kassandra | Feb 2 2013, 10:16 AM Post #5 |
Is the meadow on fire?
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OMG! I was just thinking about this as at the age of 42 I finally paid off my student loans. What a long 15 years it's been since my 20s. I have to get ready and go, but wanted to respond to this. In my mid-20s I found myself in San Francisco, dropped out of grad school due to an existential crisis, was literally homeless, filed bankruptcy for credit card debt I had racked up just to eat, and was seriously considering living in my VW bus and taking off for Mexico to live on a beach somewhere. I had no family to turn to whatsoever - my grandparents that raised me (sorta) were dead, my father disappeared, my mom not in my life. I was making $24k a year as a social worker in East Oakland but could not take it emotionally. I was literally at the point where I was going to do something crazy or kill myself. It would take a novel to explain how on earth I got to where I am now. But I would not change a single thing in my life. Not the abuse, not the abandonment, the homelessness, fear, struggle, none of it. As a matter of fact I often feel like the luckiest person in the world, pretty much every day. I am so lucky I had so many challenges to overcome in my life, that I was able to experience so many things, good and bad. And in my 20s I think what got me through all that was somehow knowing all this deep inside. I have some things I recommend you read and will try to post them later. But today just try to be grateful for everything you DO have, and all you get to experience in your future. You have been given a gift, enjoy it! |
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| onwego | Feb 2 2013, 12:20 PM Post #6 |
You're BANNED!
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I'm 27 and currently working full time and in school full time. I didn't know what I wanted to do until after I graduated college, which is why I'm in school as I have to get some classes for pre-reqs. Hopefully after this semester though, I will be done with my pre-reqs. Job pays ok, not great, but ok, but money is tight. Financially independent and don't rely on anybody else. Only debt is a car payment and student loans. I've gotten decent at figuring out coupons and finding little ways to save money, which adds up. I had to give up horses a few years back due to money and time issues and I miss it dearly and hope to get back to it one day. I do have an apt by myself and have a dog and 2 cats. Unfortunately I don't have much of a social life at the moment due to lack of time. Right now my big focus is getting to the career that I have picked, which will be no small feat, and that's pretty much it. Haven't had a real vacation in years due to time and money. Just keep telling myself that it will be worth it one day and working hard only makes you a better person. It also makes achieving your goals more satisfying if you worked hard for them and it wasn't handed to you. |
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| leastrock | Feb 2 2013, 04:47 PM Post #7 |
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I Visited Candy Mountain and All I Got Was This Lousy Incision
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Thanks for the insight. I certainly don't expect to make a lot of money or have the nicest things; in fact, I never really expect to have those things. I am completely used to being broke (I was before college, during college, and after college) and have found many ways to save money and cut back. I don't have a horse and haven't been able to ride in years. I quit before I went to college and don't have any plans to start again. I am extremely thankful that my parents help me when they can and I am very grateful for what I have now. I know many people out there live lives MUCH worse than mine with MUCH less. gunnar: how true... |
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| gunnar | Feb 2 2013, 05:03 PM Post #8 |
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You're BANNED!
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Awe least. I got married at 23! Spent 31 years married to a man I never really knew! Imagine your whole adult life! I am a bitter divorcee. I gathered insight in his journals thru his rehab. Blew my mind. Why not tell me? Never knew how he really felt! Wtf? He has no idea I read this! I struggle to understand. You will survive my friend. Not sure how I will! I hope to get better! Really I must! A private person one realizes what I m going thru! I wish you great luck and know you will survive! |
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| Jersey Fresh | Feb 2 2013, 07:16 PM Post #9 |
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I was in school until almost 27 so my 20s for the most part were spent poor, stressed and burnt out. I lived with roommates. I quit riding for while too in grad school. I started back up when I graduated. Put your time in and work hard. It will pay off. My 30s ( well except for the first year- everyone on here knows about that drama) are turning out to be what I thought my twenties were going to be  Edited by Jersey Fresh, Feb 2 2013, 07:17 PM.
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| Boston | Feb 3 2013, 05:53 PM Post #10 |
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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leastrock, I am actually really glad you posted this because I can 100% relate. Following everything I've been through in the last year I've never felt so lost in my life and I have NO idea where to go from here. I feel so "in transition" and I'm sick of it! Looking forward to reading responses. |
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| Boston | Feb 3 2013, 05:54 PM Post #11 |
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It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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PS if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me or find me on facebook! |
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| JumpTheMoon | Feb 4 2013, 08:46 AM Post #12 |
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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What a great thread, I am happy you posted it! I am 27. Graduated at 22 with just a Bachelors, married at 25, and have been working in the corporate world since I graduated. I was really lucky that I found a decent job when I graduated and have moved around/moved up since then, and I just finished a post-grad diploma in HR that I was working on part time. I don't really love the corporate life but going back to school full time would mean giving up a lot so I'm kinda stuck where I am for now. And we won't even talk about the pressure to have babies - a path we're not even sure we want to go down... My husband is extremely driven to succeed and has worked his way up quite quickly, we both make good money, we have a nice (albeit smaller) home and a car each, and I keep my horse at a show barn and do about 10 B shows a summer. I never thought I would be this lucky at 27. Our life is very "set" and we are very, very fortunate but even still I find myself thinking "is this it? this is how my life will be for the next 35 years". I've always been a bit of an old soul but kinda wish I had spent my 20's being crazy and a gypsy - you have the rest of your life to settle down! But I think the previous wise ladies are right, no matter where you're at in your life path, the 20's are a time for transitions. You're learning and changing as a person and growing apart from friends from school and making new friends in your new life, etc. It can be pretty overwhelming but I'm looking forward to my 30's because I hear they're pretty awesome!
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| Reynard Ridge | Feb 4 2013, 10:29 AM Post #13 |
Drivin' The Short Bus
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In my twenties, I had a great job, but massive debt (grad school and credit cards). I was a mess in terms of relationships with men (dating in appropriate people ... or wait, was that the same inappropriate person over and over again  ). I had long term plans (I wanted to get a horse, get out of debt, find a mate, and write a book). I was very involved in my local dressage and eventing GMO - something that I continued for the next decade. But I was always very fretful in terms of the economy, and thinking about what life would be like if I lost my job. I wasn't exactly anxious all the time, but it was the sort of thing that I thought about, and it kept me working down that debt. I paid off my final grad school bill just prior to meeting my husband, and other than a mortgage (although right now, we don't own any property, so no mortgage), have been debt free ever since. One thing I didn't do in my twenties was get married. The tragic figure I dated for much of my early 20s did propose, but I consider myself fortunate for being savvy enough to understand that he was not going to be a win for me in the long term. I confess to loving the drama bit more then than I do now. I haven't done drama in two decades, but I have to say, my 20s were sprinkled liberally with it.
Edited by Reynard Ridge, Feb 4 2013, 10:54 AM.
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| OpticalIllusion | Feb 4 2013, 10:41 AM Post #14 |
You're BANNED!
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Two great pieces of advice I think: Dont hold yourself up to the standard of what you thought you would be doing and where you would be in life at this point, from when you were in high school. I am in my early 30's. I am no where near what I thought I would be when I was in high school. I figured I would be married, have a farm, and have a college degree. Currently I have a SO of 9 years, we rent an apartment, I currently work a meh job, and am just now going back to school to work towards what I want now. I am incredibly happy with my life, but I do have moments when I sit and think "wow, Im far behind in my life plan". Well, life plans change. You just have to roll with it. Your thirties will be the best years of your life. Someone very wise told me this when I was struggling in my 20's. Now I understand. Your twenties are made for figuring crap out. I fretted about money all the time, about being able to pay bills. It always worked out in the end, even if it required me to eat ramen for a few weeks or not drive to the barn one week to save on gas money. |
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| Kassandra | Feb 4 2013, 11:32 AM Post #15 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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I have to disagree about the 30s. I think your 40s are the best years. Most people I know just deal with a different sort of crazy in their 30s, and you don't have the excuses of just being in your 20s!! |
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