| Welcome to The Outside Course! You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features! |
| And right out of left field it comes | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 31 2012, 01:32 PM (1,053 Views) | |
| Little Diva | Oct 31 2012, 01:32 PM Post #1 |
|
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
So, as this year marches on and, well, yeah, we all know what this year has been for me Something happened that came right out of left field. I have said I do not want a boyfriend, I do not want a male in my life who is not furry, barks, neighs, meows and walks on all fours. And then he showed up. Yup. A damn human male. And you have not heard the best parts yet ...Thirty-five years ago, he was my first boyfriend. In high school. And he worked on our farm. And he was the bad boy and I was the nerdy chick who fell for him. And he fell for the nerdy chick. And we had a child together that I gave up for adoption. I was 18 and in no way ready to raise a child, my parents were not willing to either, and neither was he and his family. So, we went our separate ways and had our lives -- he grew up, got married, had a beautiful daughter. I grew up, sorta, still fall for the bad boys (ugh ...) and had two beautiful children. We are both older, wiser, battle tested, SINGLE, and we re-connected. And when I saw him again after 35 years, time fell away and I was a goofy, grinning female looking at the boy who stole her heart and he was the cool dude whose insides were churning because no one had ever looked at him the way I did. We are seeing each other again this weekend -- he lives 2 hours south of here, which is perfect as it gives us some space and distance and allows us to keep our bearings and focus. We are going out on our second "date." So, if this becomes a relationship, which, let me be perfectly clear I DO NOT WANT YET I will have the unenvyable task of telling my parents. And yes, they know who everything. And to be clear, I would not change a single minute of that part of my life. I gave a wonderful set of parents the most precious gift that I could, and I know he has had a wonderful and amazing life -- one that I could not have given a child at that time in my life. How the heck do I tell my parents that this man -- who they HATED at one point -- has re-entered my life? Have I lost my mind? (and to be perfectly frank, with 8 years of no "dog walking", I am enjoying the "dog walking" with him .... )
|
![]() |
|
| Won for Me | Oct 31 2012, 01:41 PM Post #2 |
|
Is the meadow on fire?
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
LD, good for you! Gosh, you have had a roller coaster of a year! Personally, I would let it ride for a bit before saying anything to anyone (except for us, of course). See where is goes before you set off the alarms. Just enjoy the feeling and let is be a great distraction from the rough year you have had! |
![]() |
|
| Jersey Fresh | Oct 31 2012, 02:05 PM Post #3 |
|
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Things happen for a reason (though when people told me that this year I wanted to smack them). But people who are meant to be in your life will stay or find their way back in. Very happy for you, you deserve it =) |
![]() |
|
| RHowell | Oct 31 2012, 02:22 PM Post #4 |
|
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
All i can say is WOW and good luck
|
![]() |
|
| jillincolorado | Oct 31 2012, 02:28 PM Post #5 |
![]()
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
LD That is quite a story. I think it's amazing that you've reconnected. Honestly, why should your parents give a damn? You're an adult now. He's an adult now. Different life. Different time. Different people. Keep us posted!!! |
![]() |
|
| ShadowMare | Oct 31 2012, 04:21 PM Post #6 |
|
We're on a bridge, Chaaaaaaaaarlie!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
LD, I can only say that life is just too short and often too hard NOT to keep your heart and mind OPEN at this point. I agree with WonForMe...just enjoy him for a while and let it flooowwwww and be HAPPY again...if this is going to last more than a month or so you'll know it quite soon.There is a reason we fall so strongly in love when young. Sometimes it doesn't work out, but so many people have "reconnected" decades later with early loves and it has been a total blessing in their lives, so why not YOU? Just take it a step at a time. Even though time seems to have slipped away and you are both your young selves, you really are not those young people anymore...so, as the weeks go on for a while, remember that you two really ARE getting REacquainted...some things, some opinions, some experiences will be different now. All that said...congrats in a way. Perhaps you two will be the lucky ones who get to love each other twice in the same life! Small note: I commend you on how you handled the child you had when so young. Not an easy decision, but likely a wise choice for you both at the time. Second small note: Just remember not to be TOO worried about what your parents will say or do...this may seem cold...but one day they will not be on the planet anymore...yet you will still be living YOUR life. You are living YOUR life right now, too...so, as an ADULT person now, you can CHOOSE YOUR OWN LIFE. Be happy, whatever that choice is! |
![]() |
|
| Witchy | Oct 31 2012, 05:10 PM Post #7 |
|
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
That is awesome! What a story. I would just keep things where you live in your house 2 hours away and he lives where he is and keep it that way. Long distance relationships are fun because you will both always be on best behavior and happy to see each other. I love long distance relationships. I've been trying to get Joe/Mr. Witchy to move a few hours away, but he just won't cooperate. Something about the whole being married and having kids keeps him wanting to live here.
|
![]() |
|
| JanM | Oct 31 2012, 05:12 PM Post #8 |
|
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I'm so happy for you, and hope you have some fun. If anyone deserves a little fun out of life you do. Don't tell your parents yet, for one thing you haven't known each other as adults for long, and you don't know if it lasts or not. You are a little old to be worrying about mom and dad's opinions, because you are a grown woman and they can get the heck over it. I'm sure years ago they were protective of you, and angry about what happened then, but it's a long time past, and if this relationship lasts for the long haul, and when the early bloom is over and you have settled into a permanent relationship, tell the parents then. I wouldn't tell them anything with him there though, because it will be a surprise, and I'm sure they will need time to adjust and realize that the world has moved on. For now, just have fun and relax, and recharge your batteries a little. As you've said, you've been through every major stressor in the past year, so you need to be kind to yourself, and be with someone who treasures you for the unique and wonderful person you are. Time will tell if this is truly a longterm relationship, or if it's a fling, and there's nothing wrong with either relationship. If you just end up with a good friend then that would be ok too, because we can never have too many friends. |
![]() |
|
| Starlight | Oct 31 2012, 05:37 PM Post #9 |
|
Shunnnnn the unbeliever. Shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Oh boy...I know that spot you are in. I dated my ex-husband several ties after we got officially divorced, and yes--I love those bad boys too! We were married at 24, so not that young but it only lasted 18 months. In a nutshell, he was a lyin' cheatin' fool. That being said, he has a few wonderful, amazing qualities that to this day if we saw each other there would still be a connection. I just know to stay away! Lol In any case, I tell my mother EVERYTHING, so she naturally wanted to inflict bodily harm on him after the divorce. I believe her exact words were , "if I ever see him again I will stab him repeatedly," or something to that effect. I finally broke the news to her that we were seeing each other again (this was back in 2006, he's long gone now) because he went with me to a horse show. At first--she was not supportive, nor was my father. He wanted to come over to the house and see them, I thought it was going to be a disaster, but they ended up not hating him so much and we even had a decent "sit around the table and have a nice time" discussion. He had to step up, that took a lot of courage. He didn't hide from them, he came over, looked them dead straight in the eye and was...well...as genuine as a person could be. Totally honest and wore his heart on his sleeve. That's what it took--he "manned up" and was not afraid to face them. Of course we didn't last, but they don't have that kind of hate for him anymore. I wouldn't say they love him...and your parents may never accept him and be prepared to deal with that as well. As some other posters have suggested, I would not say anything to them until you know things are for real and moving forward. Have fun and don't take things too seriously yet. :-) E |
![]() |
|
| gunnar | Oct 31 2012, 06:49 PM Post #10 |
|
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
You cannot choose who you love! Enjoy TT! |
![]() |
|
| FlashGordon | Oct 31 2012, 07:35 PM Post #11 |
|
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Oh man, LD.... that story kind of brought tears to my eyes, for so many reasons. As I get older, I realize life really is a book, with chapters.... sometimes we revisit our favorite chapters over again, but maybe in a different light. I'm excited for you and you deserve all the happiness that I just KNOW is waiting for you out there. (And....I had no idea that you had placed a child. As an adoptive mom, I can tell you that you truly did give a woman out there the most wonderful gift, by bestowing motherhood upon her. ) |
![]() |
|
| Fish Cheeks | Oct 31 2012, 08:00 PM Post #12 |
![]()
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Wow, what a story! Good for you! You know, I met Mr. Fishy when I said "I want to be alone . . . I don't want to date . . . I'm never going to get married again!" So you never know... Enjoy the experience, don't tell your folks yet, and have fun! Such a fun and romantic story!Side note: did you ever reconnect with the child you gave up? Did he? |
![]() |
|
| Reynard Ridge | Nov 1 2012, 12:02 AM Post #13 |
|
Drivin' The Short Bus
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Hang loose, see how things go, and tell your parents when there is something more substantial to talk about. Love is a many splendored thing, and if you are lucky enough to find someone, enjoy it.
|
![]() |
|
| Corey94 | Nov 1 2012, 05:12 AM Post #14 |
|
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Sounds like a movie script to me, LD! Enjoy yourself..... |
![]() |
|
| Kassandra | Nov 1 2012, 06:24 AM Post #15 |
|
Is the meadow on fire?
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
That's what I thought. But for me that is a giant, flashing red light. I guess I will be the one dissenter here and say my first thoughts in all was this was beware...and run away! You have had one bad thing happen in your life after another recently, from your posts you are not in the best place emotionally, and now you have this fantasy world to enter into from a totally romanticized part of your life. Sounds like the perfect distraction and detour from doing the work you need to do. I'd be uber careful with myself and my own emotions and thoughts about all this if I were you. Not saying it can't or wont "work out" like a happily ever after movie ending, but I would remember just how our emotions and minds play tricks on us when we are looking for something, especially an escape from where we are or reality. Anyway, don't want to be Debbie downer here or anything, but I cant quite just join the party based on everything you have said and written over the past year or so. But good luck, sounds like an adventure. |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · The Hay Loft · Next Topic » |





![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
Something happened that came right out of left field. I have said I do not want a boyfriend, I do not want a male in my life who is not furry, barks, neighs, meows and walks on all fours. And then he showed up. Yup. A damn human male. And you have not heard the best parts yet ...
)




That is quite a story. I think it's amazing that you've reconnected. Honestly, why should your parents give a damn? You're an adult now. He's an adult now. Different life. Different time. Different people.
I agree with WonForMe...just enjoy him for a while and let it flooowwwww and be HAPPY again...if this is going to last more than a month or so you'll know it quite soon.
Something about the whole being married and having kids keeps him wanting to live here.
) 
7:22 AM Jul 11