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| Parents, am I right to be a little WTF about this?; Would you let your 3-year-old do this? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 26 2012, 04:22 PM (370 Views) | |
| Onelanerode | Oct 26 2012, 04:22 PM Post #1 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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So we're supposed to get rain from Hurricane Sandy this weekend, which means I won't be mulching. I wanted to get some of it done tonight before the rain started, so I took Winston, my little dog who listens pretty well, out with me and started spreading mulch in the flowerbed around the mailbox. Winston is in a down/stay beside me, off leash but on our property. His down/stays are pretty reliable unless the neighbor across the street, who LOVES him and he ADORES her, comes out to say hello. Neighbors at the bottom of the court have four kids, and their older boys are involved in a baseball game with a bunch of other neighborhoods at the bottom of the cul-de-sac. I'm not out there five minutes before neighbor's two youngest, who are 3 and 5, come running up to me with another young kid whom I don't know, and the neighbor's 3-year-old is toting a kitten. Kitten sees Winston before Winston sees kitten, and I grab Winston by the collar. I nicely but firmly told her not to bring the kitten over, but she ignores me and runs right up to Winston and pats him, hard, on the head. Mom is 100 yards away on her porch. Winston is oblivious to kid but would REALLY like to check out kitten, who is really not interested in being checked out. I'm trying to put Winston behind me so that kitten does not freak out and scratch kid or run off, and I hear Mom yell "They just LOVE your dog!" At that point, I decided it was time for Winston to go in the house and "have dinner," and kid tried to follow me up the driveway into the house with the kitten. I was fairly annoyed at Mom for putting both her kid and her kid's kitten in that position, but maybe I'm overreacting; I don't have kids and tend to be really cautious about kid/pet interactions; I want kid to have parent's permission to pet my dogs, and preferably parent's supervision while kid does so, and I want my dogs to be sitting down and being polite. I think that sets everyone up to have a good experience. What say you, parents? Am I right to be annoyed that Mom didn't supervise her kid and her kid's kitten better, or do I need to chill? |
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| FlashGordon | Oct 26 2012, 05:00 PM Post #2 |
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You're BANNED!
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No, you don't need to chill. Parent should probably watch how the kid approaches dogs, even better, not LET kid approach dogs. I am a serious dog/horse/animal person. That said, I *never* let my children approach a dog we don't know. Hell, I make sure they are careful with a dog they DO know. I would never, ever let them run up to a dog and pat it on the head. Even with Daisy Rainbow, who is the most tolerant of all beings, I watch how the kids interact with her. But, maybe I'm over-vigilant. Working at the vet clinic for so long, and being the one to have to restrain, medicate, deal with stressed out, injured, angry, upset dogs.... I've seen dogs bite and do things that you wouldn't think Nice Ol' Rover would do. Last spring I saw a little girl run up to a dog on a leash outside of my daughter's school. She surprised the dog, and the dog almost took her face off. It was ugly. The parent sounds naive, or not pet savvy, or lazy, or tired, or maybe a combination of all of it. Next time you see Neighbor Lady, just mention in a casual but friendly way "Hey, just so you know, my dogs aren't all that used to kids, so it is probably best to keep a watchful eye when your kiddos are around my yard." You won't get far if you tell her the kid needs to tone it down, she'll take it as an attack on her kid or her parenting, kwim? Better to just say Winston is a great dog but not accustomed to little people and leave it at that. The bottom line is no matter how good a dog is, it will do "dog things" sometimes, including snap at a kid/person if it is surprised or cornered or whatever. |
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| SnackPack | Oct 26 2012, 06:31 PM Post #3 |
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You're BANNED!
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I don't have kids but am fairly kid-savvy. I wouldn't let kids I was in charge of do something like that. It's a parents responsibility to teach their kids to be good stewards of the animals in their care (and even vicinity). Letting a small child bring a kitten up to a dog is moronic and does nothing to teach the child about proper boundaries, care and concern for the animals. I would say something, but probably wouldn't blame it on the dog. You never know what the future holds and it would be a shame to have a statement about your dog not being good with kids or kittens or whatever coming back to haunt you. A kid gets bitten and all of a sudden you have the rogue dog from a comment meant to make an unthinking parent not feel bad about a stupid choice. Edited by SnackPack, Oct 26 2012, 09:35 PM.
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| FlashGordon | Oct 26 2012, 06:54 PM Post #4 |
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You're BANNED!
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Snacky, this is a good point... I forget sometimes how sue happy our society is.
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| Trialbyfire | Oct 26 2012, 07:25 PM Post #5 |
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You're BANNED!
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No, I don't think most animal-savvy parents would think such an act was ok....but I think that probably 50% of people who have pets aren't animal savvy.... Probably 50% of people who have kids aren't kid-savvy either... ![]() My bottom line is pretty much always the same (for me)....that no matter what...you have to be prepared for the worst. That includes when your dogs are anywhere in "the public".... which of course doesn't necessarily mean off your own property! People are weird...and scarily ignorant about animals. So...I'm not sure I'd bother saying anything to the parents....unless you have opportunity to chat at length with them about pets and other things. Otherwise, they will see you as *the crazy dog lady* (who doesn't have kids and doesn't know how kids act).... Of course it probably won't hurt to say anything...I just don't know that it will be worth your effort (or frustration), if the parent is already the kind not to supervise a 3 year old with a kitten on the street...
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| Reynard Ridge | Oct 26 2012, 10:53 PM Post #6 |
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Drivin' The Short Bus
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I'll third or fourth what's been said here already. Animal savvy parents do not let their children approach animals they do not know. Period, end of story. Morons, who abound and populate this planet earth at an alarming rate, seem to think real animals operate like the cartoons they used to watch on Saturday morning. At the end of the day, you are going to be held responsible for whatever your dog does, without regard to the responsibility of the child's parent. Personally, I'd keep the kids and dog separated. Great that the kids love your dog, but the minute something goes awry. those ignorant parents are going to hold you and the dog responsible. |
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| Kassandra | Oct 27 2012, 06:36 AM Post #7 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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Make me the one that thinks you are making way too much about this. If you were concerned that much I would have yelled at the stupid child and told her to get the hell away with the kitten right at that moment...made a big deal right there. Then if the cat scratched the hell out of her, well there's your lesson! We had some neighbor kid that was scared of dogs on our block one day, one of my JRTs ran up to her and she started running and screaming, it was actually funny in a way. Of course then the dogs chased her. I started screaming for her to stop. She stopped, sobbing, and the dogs just walked around her feet. I used it as a opportunity for a lesson. Growing up we did stupid things and learned from them. And neighbors helped parent rather than judged others parenting and left it all up to the parents. If the parents don't know they can't educate their kids, we need villages to raise kids. Edited by Kassandra, Oct 27 2012, 06:36 AM.
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| WhySoSerious | Oct 27 2012, 07:06 AM Post #8 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I have a chihuahua that is not used to children and gets very upset if they're rough with him or move too quickly around him. I took him to a tailgate a few weeks ago and someone's unattended children kept trying to pet him, so I picked him up. The children still kept trying to pet him, even though I had asked them not to. Of course the parents were nowhere close by and I've never seen these kids in my life. Thankfully it all worked out okay, but it was a little nerve wracking. We were always taught to be nice to animals and we weren't allowed to just go pet dogs without asking. I think as long as your dog doesn't bite people (like my Chihuahua might bite children when he gets upset), I'd just talk to the parents and say my dog isn't used to children and go from there. I have two other dogs that both love children, the chihuahua is the one exception. He's little though and as long as children are nice to him, he'll be nice to them. |
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| SnackPack | Oct 27 2012, 08:34 AM Post #9 |
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You're BANNED!
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I don't disagree with this approach...I've just found thatmany parents do not appreciate you teaching their children anything...especially when it involves raising your voice or injury to th child. And don't forget, K...most people aren't as bold and outspoken as you are.
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| FalseImpression | Oct 27 2012, 08:39 AM Post #10 |
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Schooling
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The trouble in the US is ... if you tell the mom there is a risk... if anything happens later, it will be held against you... because YOU knew... and still had your dog outside! Maybe I would have said (and it is true).. that my dog hates cats and bringing a cat is dangerous, esp. if it is held basically at the same level as the dog by a little kid... and remind them that your property... no trespassing... |
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| Kassandra | Oct 27 2012, 09:01 AM Post #11 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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I guess at the end of the day if one is so worried about what the neighbors might do around your dog, then the dog shouldn't be allowed out in the neighborhood, even if it's the front yard. The dog needs to stay in the house or in a private, fenced yard. Kids will be kids and do stupid things, and you cannot control other people and what they think or how they behave, you can only control yourself and your own animals. I'm not saying I don't "get" being annoyed in an eye rolling, talk crap later with friends sort of way. But the moment of dealing with it is gone. I think talking to the parents about it would be sorta weird and make you look like a freak and/or busy-body buttinski. |
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| JanM | Oct 27 2012, 09:20 AM Post #12 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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This would be the end of nice neighbor for me. I don't allow the neighborhood kids on my property, and my insurance agent is very happy with that. You can be sure that if one of those kids had tripped and been hurt, or if the kitten had scratched one of them, and that you would have been unhappy with the result. These days, anything that happens on your property is your fault, and you could very well end up with a lawsuit or a claim against your insurance by something that is no way your fault. I would have told the kids not to cross the streee in the first place, and in the future tell them not to come on your side. I don't care what the clueless parents' opinions are about that either. And what happens when the kids are wandering on the street and a driver comes down the street? It is the parents responsibility, but you will get dragged into it too. Careless parents and care givers are always quick to blame others, and someone who lets kids that age run around loose are careless. |
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| Onelanerode | Oct 27 2012, 02:15 PM Post #13 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I was not at all worried that Winston might get uncomfortable and bite; certainly that is always possible, with any dog, but he has not in five years shown any inclination to do so in any situation. He has yet to growl at a person, and he's always been very polite and fairly submissive around people, and particularly careful with small children in terms of where he is and where he moves in relation to them. I was far, far more worried about the fate of the kitten, should kid drop it, or it run off; Winston's got some sort of small-animal-hunting terrier in him, and he's caught and killed a rabbit before (he was SO proud of himself I hated to scold him). While in theory I'm inclined to agree with Kassandra, in that yes, it does sometimes take a village, but in reality my experiences have been a lot more like what JanM describes, and I think RR and FG both make good points. I can't guarantee that my dog won't ever do anything; he's a dog. And I do think unfortunately I have to be really careful about how I let my dog interact with other people, because regardless of what a kid does, with or without a parent's supervision, it will always be my fault/my dog's fault should something go wrong, even if my dog is on my property. I finished my mulching today in a drizzle; at least that meant no kids were out playing, and Winston was happy to follow me around and supervise the rest of the mulching. Some days I just really wish I could either pick my neighbors, and live in a commune with other responsible, considerate people (in which case I'd be happy to do my bit as part of the village), or move to 100 acres and fence it off. |
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| FlashGordon | Oct 27 2012, 03:16 PM Post #14 |
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You're BANNED!
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Oh OLR I wasn't at all implying Winston would do something, just that parents need to realize that even the nicest dogs can do damage if the kid provokes in a way that the dog is uncomfortable. K I do agree with you 100%..... but you'd be surprised how weird parents can be. We live in a very busy neighborhood... tight quarters, very small yards, kids everywhere. The playground is right across the street. After school there are like 4526 kids there and they usually break out into a game of chase-and-pile-on. Parents are oblivious and are too busy drinking their coffee, playing with their phones and chatting with their friends to notice when things start to get a little too rowdy... and God Forbid you reprimand someone else's kid! If my kid is doing something dangerous, stupid, impolite I'm all for anyone in the vicinity telling him/her what's up. Same as my horse, or my dog. But most parents aren't like that nowadays. |
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| Kassandra | Oct 27 2012, 03:51 PM Post #15 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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I know, and it's horrifying to me. If kids aren't taught to respect any and all adults (within reason of course, not physically abusive ones..) how on earth will they grow up to respect other people? |
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Neighbors at the bottom of the court have four kids, and their older boys are involved in a baseball game with a bunch of other neighborhoods at the bottom of the cul-de-sac. I'm not out there five minutes before neighbor's two youngest, who are 3 and 5, come running up to me with another young kid whom I don't know, and the neighbor's 3-year-old is toting a kitten.




7:23 AM Jul 11