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Shadow Mare . . . you around?
Topic Started: Oct 15 2012, 08:27 AM (711 Views)
Fish Cheeks
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I had a dream about Shadow Mare last night - has anyone heard from her lately? :huh:
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FlashGordon
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I have not.... we were PMing back and forth for awhile, but I have not heard from her in ages. I hope she is ok. I had an email address for her but I believe it no longer works. :(
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CDE Driver
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It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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I've been thinking about her lately as well. I hope she is okay.
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Barn Girl
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It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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me too... hope all is well!

Also been wondering how Sparky Boy is... you out there, SB?
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Little Diva
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sending good thoughts and jingles to Shadow Mare and Sparky Boy!
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gunnar
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I too was thinking of SM! Been too long since we heard from her! She pmed on April 5!
Edited by gunnar, Oct 16 2012, 06:04 AM.
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ShadowMare
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We're on a bridge, Chaaaaaaaaarlie!
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Yep, I'm around, more or less. :sigh: Thanks for asking! :clap:

Things have been very hard as the mctd has marched onwards quite strongly. (Refresher: mctd is a mix of lupus, scleroderma and polymyositis)...the scleroderma had been there for some years, but has now taken hold in regards to internal organs and I've spent quite some time dealing with medications and tests and such...the lupus is mostly constant and has done severe destruction on the heart valves and lung function. I've got much more neuromuscular difficulty as a result of the polymyositis mixed with lupus. Many different and nasty changes and problems just continue onwards in a decline and there is little the docs can do. My personal doctor wanted to put me into "home hospice" care this month, but I'm holding off having that be my actual "medical category" so we save those insurance goodies for later on. :rolleyes:

So, all of this has meant I must step back from horses at the level I'd been doing (which wasn't that much!). Fishy, it's so funny that you had that dream of me as the next morning I had to sell my real ShadowMare, Miss Fancy. :sigh: :,(

It's taken me a year to get to that point as she was my "forever heart horse" but it is for the better FOR HER...I just cannot ride much anymore and she was so bored with nothing much to do. Kinda is tearing up my heart, but I KNOW she's going to have a wonderful new mom and great home and lots of activities and attention and good care...so, that's made the parting easier. :hug:

I still have my little mini horse and there's a retired little ranch pony (mixed mustang and arab...cute as a button!) living here now who is a sort of rescue situation...she's only 13 hands and as I'm small I can ride her if I'm in good enough shape (which won't be often) but she's already put her work career in at that ranch and she's delighted being mostly retired and just fussed on during the days I can go out and groom her. I'm grateful for her coming here...between her and the little guy I "still do horse" when possible and can at least look at them! But, frankly, things have been hard. I also have had to sell my violin as I have way too much neuro/muscular difficulty to hold the instrument. Most days I've got at least two or three things going wrong. :argh: :censored: :brickwall:

The scleroderma fulminating in my internal organs has also meant I cannot eat properly now, so I've had to make some real adjustments in food/dietary issues; am staving of the use of a feed tube and realllllly don't want to go there. :oops: Being so homebound and or bedbound has made it hard as well, but I've got quite a few "email pals" and they keep me up on their activities and stuff going on "out there" and that helps me feel not quite so isolated.

It's been just hard, but I am quite grateful for my wonderful, loving and kind husband, little Miss Fredonia the Rescue Chi and my silly little parakeet, The Gizmo. They all light up my days!! I love living out in the mountains, and though we don't have a fancy place, I have magical views and vistas and much peace. Many people would give body parts to see the sunsets and sunrises and wild animals and such that I get every day here...so I'm not complaining entirely!

I do read the board here and have tried to keep up a bit and I know that many of you have had a REALLY hard 2012 and many of you have had big changes as well in your lives. Something in the air?? I certainly hope we ALL have a smoother and more positive 2013! :luck: :luck: :candle:

I'll try to post more...I've missed you guys! :yes:









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vxf111
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I'm glad to hear you're okay (if not in perfect shape) and taking pleasure in the joys of life. I hope the rest of this year and 2013 is even better for you!
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ShadowMare
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We're on a bridge, Chaaaaaaaaarlie!
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Thanks, vfx111. Don't know, however, that being on the verge of hospice and having to sell my horse and going through this past year is "doing okay" actually. Pretty much hanging on by the fingernails. But, I know the alternative and so I do try to focus each day on the good and positive things I do have whilst I'm still here.
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Fish Cheeks
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ShadowMare, I'm glad you checked in. I'm sorry you had to sell Fancy and your violin. I continue to be amazed at your loving and kind spirit and wish you comfort and peace. :hug:
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vxf111
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ShadowMare
Oct 17 2012, 12:09 PM
Thanks, vfx111. Don't know, however, that being on the verge of hospice and having to sell my horse and going through this past year is "doing okay" actually. Pretty much hanging on by the fingernails. But, I know the alternative and so I do try to focus each day on the good and positive things I do have whilst I'm still here.
Your positive attitude shines through. Take it day by day.
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Little Diva
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ShadowMare, you are an inspiration to me and and to many others with your amazing attitude. I wish you light and love and peace, and keep you in my prayers and my thoughts.
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Barn Girl
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SM, glad you're hanging in there, even if it is by your fingernails. :hug: :hug: :hug: We miss you around here, so don't be a stranger!

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FlashGordon
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SM, I am sooooooo glad you popped in!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry you are facing so many challenges. I can only imagine how difficult it is to maintain a positive outlook when you have so much going on with your health. :( I have been having a minor SLE flare the last week and it has me down in the dumps... and mine is NOTHING compared to what you are dealing with. So I give you huge props for hanging in there and keeping on, with a smile on your face. I am glad you have the support of your husband, and your creatures, though I am sure it was hard to let go of your Fancy.

Really I am so happy you decided to post.... I had worried when we lost touch and was hoping you were ok. Please pop in and keep us updated, ok? We all worry about you and wish you all the best.

Big hugs and take care of yourself!!!! And don't be a stranger!
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Twiceshy
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Hugs and much love, SM. :hug: :hug: :hug:
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