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I think I am cursed; And I am scared to buy a horse
Topic Started: Jun 29 2012, 07:13 PM (816 Views)
Kassandra
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Okay, this might seem ridiculous, but I am literally afraid that I am cursed when it comes to horses. I have found a pony I really want to by, and I have been soul searching and agonizing over whether I should buy her or not. What it comes down to is the fact that I have gotten to the point where I am convinced that I will never, ever find a horse that works out for me, that doesn't become lame or have some bizzaro-world thing happen to it. Add to this fact that I feel like my life is really blessed and I feel really lucky with so many things, that I wonder if not being able to own a horse that works out for me is just the price I have to pay for all the other good things in my life.

Seriously, it's making me feel like a crazy person. Please remind me that there are no curses in the world, nor any cosmic force controlling my happiness when it comes to horses!?

Anyway, I know this all comes across as totally ridiculous, but I feel better getting it all out...
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FlashGordon
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I totally get it. I have had really horrendous luck as an adult when it comes to horses, as you know! Which is why I swore them off after I gave Bella away.... and then two weeks later.... I come home with a grey mare. Ooops.

I wish I had some good advice for you. At least know you are not alone and that a lot of us understand the frustration! It is doubly hard when you see horses work out for other people.... sometimes people who invest a lot less of their time, emotion, energy, money... and you wonder, what the heck?!

Ok so now I want to see pics/vid of the pony. :)
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Kassandra
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FlashGordon
Jun 29 2012, 07:55 PM

Ok so now I want to see pics/vid of the pony. :)
I swore I wouldn't, but here are a few. One is with me going for a pony ride so I could feel what her size felt like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfaUFIf2zbA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glu159cM-OM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFHDtOFNShc

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=3720721009562

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=3711284653659
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Fish Cheeks
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And here I thought you might be inspired by that topic on COTH about the QHxArab doing Grand Prix!

Horse disappointment happens to everyone. Mr. Fishy is going through it right now with giving his horse back; I've gone through it with a few horses in my lifetime. If you never know the bad, how much can you appreciate the good?

I wonder if perhaps you are expecting too much . . . perfection? Horses are horses. They get hurt. They don't live up to our hopes and dreams and expectations. They may decide they don't like the job we've picked out for them. It may turn out that they are too much and we become afraid. Or something we thought/hoped wouldn't be a problem is a problem after all. No horse has perfect conformation. No horse is 100% sound. No horse is always good all the time. Just as we aren't perfect, they aren't perfect. I think you need to give yourself a break.

I like the pony you've picked out. And she's not perfect - there are things about her that I think are great, and things that aren't - just like any other horse in the world. She'll be well suited to some things and not so much to others. Just like any other horse.

I read what you wrote about being so blessed in so many ways that you think that maybe "suffering" in your horsey life is the price you pay. That's how I felt about my old crappy job - it was my "punishment" or my "burden" to carry since everything else in my life was so great. That's bullshit. You deserve good things in ALL areas of your life.

The blessing with buying such green horses is that you get to train them the way you want them to go. The potential bummer is that they may not like the job you've chosen for them. So you may have to decide between the horse and the discipline. Are you set on being a DQ? Or are you open to other possibilities? Obviously if you want to show there are no "adult-ammy-pony" divisions in h/j land if that's what she decides she wants (although I doubt it). But if you aren't set on showing and want to just enjoy your pony and do a bit of everything, your options are expanded.

Anyway, I'm rambling after two glasses of wine. I like the pony. I think she's got great potential for dressage. I love her neck and her hind end. She seems to be well-mannered, and she seemed to like you a lot. From there, who knows how things will turn out? That's the gamble with ANY horse, not just this one.
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Kassandra
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Thanks. I know all that. I am just still really effected by what happened with GG, becuase with her there was no "changing disciplines", she has serious issues that made her unable to stand in a stall, jump, be a trail horse, and severely limited her ability to really do dressage. I switched to dressage when she could not jump, her neuro issues made her unsafe as a trail horse (and uncomfortable). I guess when your worst nightmare comes true with the love of your life it's a trauma that's pretty damn hard to get over.

It's why I bought Bugzy as a "project", but then that ended up breaking my heart in another way.

Anyway, I'm just rambling because it's this crazy irrational fear I have that had no real basis in reality and I don't know how to move past it.
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gunnar
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K, I understand your fear and hesitation. You have been thru so many horses and had trouble with most! I didn't look at the pics yet but if you felt comfortable on this pony then do it!

FC is right. No one should suffer and you do not deserve to. I am so lucky to have Rosie but the rest of my life sucks royally! The ebbs and flows of life it seems. You are a good judge of horseflesh so be proud of that. We all just want you to have fun!
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MayaTy02
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I can only sympathize. Maya has a nameplate belt and three bracelets all with different ponies names which we don't ride anymore. 3 of the ponies out of the 5 were "hers", all are gone. But honestly when we threw in the towel is when we found the right pony. We have only had her a short time so who knows how long this will work out but after all our struggles, when we found Lanie, it was all remarkably easy. No nameplates until we sell her, we've learned our lesson. Net net, I hear you and you will know when its the right horse and right time.
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BABYGREENTB
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K - I totally understand where you are coming from. A few years ago, I bought an older horse to help me get back in the 3 foot ring, and within 6 months, I had to euthanize him due to a ruptured deep digital flexor tendon. Shortly thereafter I leased a wonderful mare, and the day after we signed the lease, she had major colic surgery that required re-secting 90% of her colon. Not long after that, I leased another wonderful mare, and within a month of signing the papers, we found out she had kissing spines & required major vet work. By the end of this run, I was ready to throw in the towel on horses! However, guess who the next horse was that I bought? Bonny - who, while not perfect and certainly way greener than I had any business buying, has been a wonderful horse so far and I am so thankful she came along when she did. It has been a little over 2 years, and I have never regretted it for a minute. I dearly loved all three of the horses that proceeded Bonny in my horsey life, and they all broke and healed my heart in different ways. Don't let what happened with GG & Bugzy hold you back from having horses in your life. There are a million different things that can go wrong with horses, but there are an equal number of things that can go right. Unfortunately, to enjoy the right, we have to take the risk of the wrong.
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Kassandra
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Oh BGTB thanks so much for your post, I needed that. I was just feeling sorry for myself last night. It costs such a ridiculous amount of time and money to have a horse around here, so I think it just makes the bad stuff just all the more difficult to deal with. It's helpful to hear about others breaking free from the negative spiral.

MT, so glad Maya is happy with the new pony!

And gunnar, your Rosie is a big part of the inspiration of me wanting to get these nontraditional breeds of horses and just have fun.

Flora's owner sent me a note that Flora is on a field trip this weekend and is being just perfect. I have a really good feeling about her. I have given myself a time limit of this week to make a decision.
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Witchy
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My theory on this is that all horses and ponies are born suicidal. We just keep them in padded cells to prevent them from killing themselves. If we are good at our job, keeping them from killing themselves, then sometimes they will try to kill us instead. There's my 2 cents. :rofl:
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jillincolorado
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Good advice all around. :)

There are no guarantees. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and hope for the best. :luck: :rose: :martini:
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Fish Cheeks
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OMG, Witchy, that is hilarious!

K - is she at the JW clinic at EA? Good place to get exposure to a show-type atmosphere with lots of stuff going on! :clap: :cheer:

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Kassandra
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Fish Cheeks
Jun 30 2012, 07:43 AM
K - is she at the JW clinic at EA? Good place to get exposure to a show-type atmosphere with lots of stuff going on! :clap: :cheer:

Yes and loving it! Even the banks, water, etc. I am actually getting really excited now. Making the decision is the hardest part.
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Fish Cheeks
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Fingers crossed for you!!!!! :luck: :clap: :cheer: :yes:
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FlashGordon
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I love Flora! She is gorgeous, what a trot on her, but she seemed very sensible too. I thought you looked nice on her K!

BGTB, I had totally forgotten that you'd had that crazy run! And look where you are now! Gives me some hope too, lol.

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