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Worry for Friend; Airline Pilots
Topic Started: Aug 4 2011, 07:33 AM (521 Views)
DairyQueen2049
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DRAGON BREATH. DRAGGIN' BUTT
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One of my friends is falling hard and fast for an airline pilot. Things he says send off every warning bell in my system.

This gal lost her son in 2006 in Afganistan, and a short week later her hubby confessed to an affair with a 'almost 20 yr old' who was pregnant. :o :mallet: :pissed:

I don't want to see her hurt again.

I'm hoping he is not the schmuck he talks himself out to be.

(Dates of what he said he's been doing don't jive, he claims he wants to move here from FL after 3 weeks of dating and it will take him no time to sell his house and move up :o , he wants her to sell son's Harley and 'will buy her a bike that fits her' so they can ride together, he never has money, she pays for meals out, etc. but he claims he makes $200,000 a year plus he has his own plane - hubby pressed him for details and the information did not jive - I'd get it wrong but it was like saying your Grand Prix horse wears a western saddle and a Howdie Doodie hat)

Oh I pray I am wrong.
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Copper Leaf
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For all the single ladies in such a hurry to get married (or jump into a serious relationship) here is a piece of Biblical advice. Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. So while waiting on YOUR Boaz, please do not settle for any of his relatives ... Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz or Marriedaz and especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz. Please wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz!
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Neighland
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Oh I hope you are wrong as well, but it doesn't sound good...have to admit I got a good chuckle at your Grand Prix analogy! Fingers are crossed she sees the light before she does something too drastic, I hope she won't sell her sons Harley......


Totally agree CL, hehe!! :) The right one is out there, it just takes time to find him, and I have to add my piece, whatever you do don't settle...you are worth it!! :)
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jn4jenny
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I can't tell you whether your friend's new BF is a schmuck, but I'm an airline pilot's daughter so I can tell you some things to warn her about and/or that should send up red flags.

Even if he's a nice guy, she needs to think about whether this is a lifestyle that would suit her. Being married to an airline pilot means spending half your week and some of your holidays alone. This is perfect for my mother and father, but not every couple deals well with the separation.

Being married to an airline pilot is an exercise in trust. They're in a different city every night, they're being put up in reasonably nice hotels, everybody loves a man in uniform, they're interacting with potentially hundreds of customers every day, and they have job-related excuses to have their cell phones off most of the time. Their co-pilot and flight attendant crew changes almost every week, so nobody's going to notice inconsistencies like "You were wearing a wedding ring last week and now you're not." I don't mean to imply that all pilots are schmucks--many of them, including my dad, have been happily married for decades. But if you wanted to be a schmuck, you could hardly ask for a more accommodating job.

It's easy enough for a bachelor pilot to pick up and move to another city as long as there's an airport near the new location, but if she's seriously entertaining this offer, she needs to ask about the following:

1. Will he continue to be "based" at his previous airport and "deadhead' back to the base airport for his shifts? (Deadhead an industry term for "fly non-revenue, often in the foldaway jump seat in the cockpit, to get where you need to go in order to start your work shift.") Deadheading means more time out of your schedule, and you don't get paid while you're deadheading.

2. If his answer is "No I'll switch airport bases to the new location," will he lose his seniority because of the switch? In most airlines, pilots bid on their schedules each month. The pilots with the most seniority get the first choice of schedules. So if you lose your seniority, it's a big deal and your schedule blows hard for a few years after that. The only time a pilot welcomes a seniority loss is when they move from First Officer (co-pilot) to Captain (main pilot), at which point you drop to the bottom of the Captain seniority list. So if your friend's BF was recently promoted or is new to the airline, moving bases may not affect his seniority very much. But if it does, he is going to get screwed really hard with his schedule.

Quote:
 
he never has money, she pays for meals out, etc. but he claims he makes $200,000 a year plus he has his own plane - hubby pressed him for details and the information did not jive


No comment on him being a cheapskate, but $200K is on the very, very high end of what an airline pilot can make. The only airlines that consistently pay that kind of dough are FedEx and UPS. If he flies for a passenger airline, then he'd have to work for a major carrier and have a ton of seniority and probably take a lot of extra trips to hit that number. To put this in perspective, Southwest Airlines pays their Captains more than any other major passenger carrier, and the high end of their salary is $182K. But a Southwest Captain could easily hit $200K by accounting for profit sharing options and/or flying extra trips up to the FAA's flying-hours-a-year limit.

My point: unless he works for FedEx or UPS, he is either exaggerating/lying or he's a workaholic.

As for having his own plane, it's not hard to have a plane. It's like having a horse: lots of not-so-rich people do it.

Good luck to your friend. Let's hope the dude's not a schmuck!
Edited by jn4jenny, Aug 4 2011, 12:57 PM.
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Copper Leaf
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Quote:
 
schmuck


Very few people know what this word means... :innocent: I hope he's not a schmuck too.
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Reynard Ridge
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DQ, google is your friend here. Get his name and address and google the s&*t out of him. You can find out tons of information about people.

If we're talking about a good friend, present your findings. If the guy is for fakes, you should be able to give her enough evidence from the bits you have already gathered with interwebz evidence.

My dad is going to start dating soon and the very first thing I am going to do when he presents me with his new girlfriend is check her internet history. Better safe than sorry. :rolleyes:
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Ovi
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jn4jenny
Aug 4 2011, 12:02 PM
I can't tell you whether your friend's new BF is a schmuck, but I'm an airline pilot's daughter so I can tell you some things to warn her about and/or that should send up red flags.

Even if he's a nice guy, she needs to think about whether this is a lifestyle that would suit her. Being married to an airline pilot means spending half your week and some of your holidays alone. This is perfect for my mother and father, but not every couple deals well with the separation.

Being married to an airline pilot is an exercise in trust. They're in a different city every night, they're being put up in reasonably nice hotels, everybody loves a man in uniform, they're interacting with potentially hundreds of customers every day, and they have job-related excuses to have their cell phones off most of the time. Their co-pilot and flight attendant crew changes almost every week, so nobody's going to notice inconsistencies like "You were wearing a wedding ring last week and now you're not." I don't mean to imply that all pilots are schmucks--many of them, including my dad, have been happily married for decades. But if you wanted to be a schmuck, you could hardly ask for a more accommodating job.

It's easy enough for a bachelor pilot to pick up and move to another city as long as there's an airport near the new location, but if she's seriously entertaining this offer, she needs to ask about the following:

1. Will he continue to be "based" at his previous airport and "deadhead' back to the base airport for his shifts? (Deadhead an industry term for "fly non-revenue, often in the foldaway jump seat in the cockpit, to get where you need to go in order to start your work shift.") Deadheading means more time out of your schedule, and you don't get paid while you're deadheading.

2. If his answer is "No I'll switch airport bases to the new location," will he lose his seniority because of the switch? In most airlines, pilots bid on their schedules each month. The pilots with the most seniority get the first choice of schedules. So if you lose your seniority, it's a big deal and your schedule blows hard for a few years after that. The only time a pilot welcomes a seniority loss is when they move from First Officer (co-pilot) to Captain (main pilot), at which point you drop to the bottom of the Captain seniority list. So if your friend's BF was recently promoted or is new to the airline, moving bases may not affect his seniority very much. But if it does, he is going to get screwed really hard with his schedule.

Quote:
 
he never has money, she pays for meals out, etc. but he claims he makes $200,000 a year plus he has his own plane - hubby pressed him for details and the information did not jive


No comment on him being a cheapskate, but $200K is on the very, very high end of what an airline pilot can make. The only airlines that consistently pay that kind of dough are FedEx and UPS. If he flies for a passenger airline, then he'd have to work for a major carrier and have a ton of seniority and probably take a lot of extra trips to hit that number. To put this in perspective, Southwest Airlines pays their Captains more than any other major passenger carrier, and the high end of their salary is $182K. But a Southwest Captain could easily hit $200K by accounting for profit sharing options and/or flying extra trips up to the FAA's flying-hours-a-year limit.

My point: unless he works for FedEx or UPS, he is either exaggerating/lying or he's a workaholic.

As for having his own plane, it's not hard to have a plane. It's like having a horse: lots of not-so-rich people do it.

Good luck to your friend. Let's hope the dude's not a schmuck!
As another airline pilot's daughter, I can vouch that this is all true.

My father worked for Northwest right out of college and became a captain of the 747-400s, flying mostly to India, Holland, Netherlands, etc. Now after the buyout, he is still a 747-400 captain for Delta and is flying the Asia lines.

Everyone in my immediate family is very used to him being gone for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, birthdays, special occasions, etc. There were times when, even though he and my mother made sure to bid for certain days, someone would call in sick and Dad would get screwed and have to cover. Drives my mom crazy sometimes. Luckily she is the type of wife that can handle it - she's got her own PT job and needs that time when he's gone for 5-7 days so she doesn't kill him :teehee:

He retires in 2013, along with my sister graduating from medical school, myself from my master's program, and my brother from undergraduate. Can we say P-A-R-T-A-A-A-Y in 2013? :cheer:
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macmtn
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Copper Leaf
Aug 4 2011, 12:53 PM
Quote:
 
schmuck


Very few people know what this word means... :innocent: I hope he's not a schmuck too.
They may not know what the word means...but they sure can spot one... :censored:
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TarynJ
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Copper Leaf
Aug 4 2011, 12:53 PM
Quote:
 
schmuck


Very few people know what this word means... :innocent: I hope he's not a schmuck too.
Totally off topic, but my parents once had a cat they named Schmuck. They did not know what it meant until he got out late one night and they were outside calling him... at which point the lovely older Jewish couple next door politely enlightened them :rofl:

However it was still highly appropriate for the cat :rolleyes:

And here's hoping that the pilot either a) isn't one, or b) she figures it out ASAP and gives him the heave-ho!
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JanM
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I think you are totally justified to be worried about your friend. There are tons of people who prey on bereaved, widowed, divorced or otherwise vulnerable people with money. I bet the next suggestion is she sells her house, and buys a new, big fancy one for the two of them (or gets him a big expensive car, or trip, or investments with his 'friends'). The next step is that she puts it in his name so he feels like he belongs. The next thing is she finds out said business, or house or whatever is resold while he is seen departing into the sunset. You can also find out a lot about a person by looking at some of the criminal history databases, don't forget the national sex offender list, anywho.com, and just plain googling their name in quotation marks. And you can check with the airline to see if he's really an employee-this should be on google also if he was ever mention in press releases.

Anywho also lists previous housemates, so if he's been a serial monogamist (or bigamist) you might find that out too.
Edited by JanM, Aug 4 2011, 05:49 PM.
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DairyQueen2049
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DRAGON BREATH. DRAGGIN' BUTT
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WOW!!! You ladies ROCK!!!!

Excellent info here! Time for me to go Googling and Anywhoing
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Corey94
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You are a good friend, DQ. I'd be interested to hear what Tarragon would add to this conversation....

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AstonMartin
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I can vouch for the two comments of the daughters of airline pilots. I dated a guy for 4 years who worked for Virgin Airlines in Australia (domestic). It was a hard schedule to live with but do-able when you both want it. Eventually i moved closer to his home base, but it was still hard.

I think if you have a good trust relationship then there shouldn't be an issue.

However, i don't like the picture you've painted of your friend and her new significant other. I hope for her sake (it sounds like she has been dealt some average cards) that it is not true and that he is what he says he is. However, she should insist that he ups his chivalry really soon!

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RHowell
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Through my circle of friends I know a large collection of airline pilots. I think at least 50% of them live up to the worries. Cheat on their wives, live double lives etc. One of them keeps a house in FL for this purpose (wife and kids up here in VA). Glad the posters here have pilot fathers who are the "good kind". My grandfather was an airforce pilot and was a good guy, I'm sure of it, but I've known just as many who took advantage of the opportunity.

I'd do some research.

When I first read the subject "Worried for a Friend-Airline Pilot" my first thought was "don't worry for an airline pilot, he's probably a schmuck"--and lo and behold you're worried about a friend because of an airline pilot :teehee:
Edited by RHowell, Aug 5 2011, 10:27 AM.
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Neighland
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RHowell
Aug 5 2011, 10:21 AM

When I first read the subject "Worried for a Friend-Airline Pilot" my first thought was "don't worry for an airline pilot, he's probably a schmuck"--and lo and behold you're worried about a friend because of an airline pilot :teehee:
Hahaha!! :teehee: :teehee: I have to say that was kind of my thought too!!!
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