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FB and social networking; blah.
Topic Started: May 17 2011, 08:36 AM (1,729 Views)
FlashGordon
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Do you ever just want to take a FB break.............

I set up my page several years ago to stay in touch with friends and family who were out of town. Then it became a good way to stay in touch with other stay at home moms and lots of horse friends across the country. I really value FB for those aspects! I have found it useful when it comes to my kids, in the sense that I can get perspective or information on child rearing from my friends and family in a quick and easy fashion, in a somewhat "controlled" setting (ie, not a Mommy Forum). Same goes for horses.

But OMG some days it just drives me bonkers. I feel like it has morphed into something crazy as of late... so much drama plays out on FB!

Maybe I'm just annoyed at the amount of relationship "PDA" lately, and/or relationship drama that is playing out amongst some of my friends/family. I dunno I could chop down my friends list but ironically a lot of the updates and drama I find annoying is coming from family or close friends who I HAVE to deal with and who I think would be offended if I cut them out... LOL.
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Indy
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You can block people's statuses and other crap from appearing on your news feed if you want to, without unfriending them. I've done that with a lot of people, including several ofmy in-laws who are just freaking annoying on FB. I don't want to see every quiz my 15yr old cousin-in-law takes or know every bit of food her mother puts in her mouth. I've hidden them (and others) from my feed, so that way they don't annoy me but I don't ruffle feathers by suddenly not being their FB friend (because trust me this would be a huge family drama).

I'm about one more schmoopy PDA message away from doing the same thing to my SIL...she and her boyfriend practically sext via FB and I don't want to see it smashed all over my feed.
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FlashGordon
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LOL INDY that is just the kind of stuff I am talking about........!!!!!!!!

My sister and her husband are the worst offenders, with my cousin being a close second! Like come on guys! My husband is always like do these people not talk to their spouses in real life, thus need to splatter their PDA all over facebook? The odd thing is with both those relationships they are together 24/7 so the constant PDAing in their statuses and walls is purely for attention of some sort.....!
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gunnar
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I don't have any FB friends with these issues! Mostly you guys and other horsey types. No family but I really don't have a family! Just Daddy (no brain to use a computer) and my Brother (no computer!) Sorry about your FB troubles my friend!
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gunnar
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What are they saying? I am not sure hiw PDAs on FB work!
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FlashGordon
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LOL thanks steph, no worries, not real trouble just some days I am amazed at what people put out there on FB!

I mean, I talk about my kids (within reason) and my horses but that is usually about it. Relationship stuff I feel like that is personal.... good or bad.... know what I mean?

I have some family, who are very much grown adults, yet they let their relationship drama and fights play out on FB. Really, people?! Are we 16!

Like I said maybe I'm just being porky today!! ;)
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Indy
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FlashGordon
May 17 2011, 08:48 AM
LOL INDY that is just the kind of stuff I am talking about........!!!!!!!!

My sister and her husband are the worst offenders, with my cousin being a close second! Like come on guys! My husband is always like do these people not talk to their spouses in real life, thus need to splatter their PDA all over facebook? The odd thing is with both those relationships they are together 24/7 so the constant PDAing in their statuses and walls is purely for attention of some sort.....!
It's totally for attention. It has to be. I love my husband but I don't feel the need to force that into everyone's universe.

I mean, I get it, my SIL's 40 year old vampire boyfriend thinks that the sun and moon both shine out of her ass and that all the gods in the cosmos had one big conference and decided that the two of them are the most perfectest people for each other out of all the other people in the whole wide world. And I'm happy for them. But I don't want to read about it. It drives my DH nuts because that's his LITTLE SISTER. It's never profane it's just squicky.
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gunnar
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I do have friends who post0 stupid emotional updates with no explaination. I hate that ! Tell us what is wrong! I will not ask! Another bid for attention! Mostly younger folks! I unfriend some of them. Just figured out one of them unfriended me 1st! Goes to show you!
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FlashGordon
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Indy
May 17 2011, 09:06 AM
FlashGordon
May 17 2011, 08:48 AM
LOL INDY that is just the kind of stuff I am talking about........!!!!!!!!

My sister and her husband are the worst offenders, with my cousin being a close second! Like come on guys! My husband is always like do these people not talk to their spouses in real life, thus need to splatter their PDA all over facebook? The odd thing is with both those relationships they are together 24/7 so the constant PDAing in their statuses and walls is purely for attention of some sort.....!
It's totally for attention. It has to be. I love my husband but I don't feel the need to force that into everyone's universe.

I mean, I get it, my SIL's 40 year old vampire boyfriend thinks that the sun and moon both shine out of her ass and that all the gods in the cosmos had one big conference and decided that the two of them are the most perfectest people for each other out of all the other people in the whole wide world. And I'm happy for them. But I don't want to read about it. It drives my DH nuts because that's his LITTLE SISTER. It's never profane it's just squicky.
HA this is exactly what is going on in my FB world.... but it seems like it is constant one-up-manship. Like one person posts about how amazingly hot and super their partner is with hearts and "love you babe" and all that stuff and then not long after I see someone else (we are all mutual friends) post similar... and I'm just like... ok enough!

Ironically the two who do it the most are the two whose relationships are highly questionable. It is like professing their constant and undying love for their partners on FB somehow validates the relationship.

Some people are more casual about it like "can't wait to cuddle with my hot man!" (yes I have seen that) and some are more philosophical "so incredibly lucky that the universe sent me this amazing and hot woman to be the mother of my future children"

And hey the occasional props to your partner... awesome! But MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY?!?! REALLY?!?

You wouldn't even know I was married or who I was married to if you were reading my wall and I kind of like it that way.......

I also have some friends who post VERY, VERY detailed medical information on their FB pages and I'm always kind of like.... huh.... I mean sometimes it happens, especially if you are looking for info about a particular situation or something, but I don't need to know every aspect of your healthcare right down to the tiniest, most awkward detail..... ALL OF THE TIME.

Maybe I'm being a total hypocrite cause I tend to post pretty freely here on TOC but I dunno. Maybe I'm too relaxed here in our little community. I feel like it is different than FB here but maybe not, maybe I'm just kidding myself... lol!
Edited by FlashGordon, May 17 2011, 09:16 AM.
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FlashGordon
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gunnar
May 17 2011, 09:08 AM
I do have friends who post0 stupid emotional updates with no explaination. I hate that ! Tell us what is wrong! I will not ask! Another bid for attention! Mostly younger folks! I unfriend some of them. Just figured out one of them unfriended me 1st! Goes to show you!
YES I know what you mean. Like if you want support, FINE, I'm happy to give but come on don't make us drag it out of you!

This thread is providing me much amusement/therapy, thanks guys for understanding....
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Indy
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gunnar
May 17 2011, 09:08 AM
I do have friends who post0 stupid emotional updates with no explaination. I hate that ! Tell us what is wrong! I will not ask! Another bid for attention! Mostly younger folks! I unfriend some of them. Just figured out one of them unfriended me 1st! Goes to show you!
This drives me nuts too. I hate the attention-whoring statuses like that. When they intentionally post like half of an emotion or crisis in order to get people to be like "oooh, what's wrong???" "we all love you." If you want to share, share, but share the whole damned thing because you obviously want people to know or you'd just not post anything.

Another pet-peeve is the medically related over share. I don't want to know how dilated your cervix is. I just don't, and it's probably not me. I'm really happy for you that you're having a kid, that's awesome, but maybe limit the statuses to "heading to the hospital" and "it's a boy!" If you have a group of friends who want a play-by-play of your labor, then that's what private messages or emails are for. Looking at my own personal list of FB friends, I can guess that probably two hundred of them do not care about my cervix and those same people are not ones I wish to inform about the my cervix.
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Indy
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And then there's the drunken FBing....that's never good (and makes me really glad FB wasn't around when I was in college!).

We actually un-invited one of Mr. Indy's cousins from our wedding due to his nasty drunken FB posts. We already had agreed with eachother that if the cousin got belligerently drunk at the reception (which was a legitimate concern), we were kicking him out of the party but he went and made an ass out of himself on FB. His mom & siblings gave us their blessing to remove him from the guest list so we did.
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gunnar
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I love FB for keeping in touch with old friends who I no longer live near. I love that part but the emotional sh?t kills me. I know you love your man! Enough already! Or I know you hate your man! All the same it seems. Al is not on FB so there!
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Reynard Ridge
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Interesting thread. I've had two "flouncers." Both announced very melodramatically that they were leave FB forevah! One came back pretty quick. The other is still gone, although I haven't checked to see if I just got unfriended. :teehee:

I think Indy's advice is quite good. Take a few minutes and sort through the privacy options FB gives you. Knock the crazees off your feed and keep the people you enjoy. And if it is still not working for you, give yourself a three day moratorium. You'll know if you really want to get back to it.

FB for me right now is a way to stay connected with the world. My friend base here in Brno is quite small, and not at all like the very deep, personal friendships that developed over my three years in Nanjing. My husband travels quite a bit, and although I would never say I was lonely (I am way too much of an introspect to ever feel *lonely!* :teehee: ), there are times when I long for adult conversation.

The connections I make on FB and here are important to me. I need some stability somewhere and, as sad as this may sound, I do use the internet as a way to make sure get grown up conversation when I have spent a few days pretty much on my own with the kidlets.
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Sannois
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I have had a few people that posted things that were tacky, and have no explanation as to why.
Some with not really nice language.
I try to post positive things. or nothing at all
I DID just sell EVERYTHING on my farmville farm as protest for them doinf Lady Gagaville.
Please that was enough for me.
:mallet: :rolleyes:
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