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Possibly changing barns...UPDATE; Etiquette & advice needed
Topic Started: May 12 2010, 04:05 PM (482 Views)
Trialbyfire
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Due to a lot of different things, we are considering changing barns. I'm sort of dreading the entire thing because I personally am ready to move on, so I don't want to stay, but I am not looking forward to informing the trainer if I pull both my kids from her program.

It really has nothing to do with the barn as much as it is just draining our schedule and we all seem burnt out. I've actually cancelled my lessons indefinitely and basically watched my older dd ride yesterday -- very unenthusiastic and not willing to try very hard; in fact, completely ignoring the trainer's directions 3 times in a row because it was more work than she felt like doing. She's interested in her jumping lessons but can't jump if she doesn't take a weekly flat lesson and she just isn't enjoying it or interested in riding [or at least not interested in riding lesson horses in flat lessons...and I can't blame her!]

But here's the big question -- I've got them both signed up for a week of camp in July.....is it really bad to have them ride in camp and then quit/move? Or worse to pull them from camp now and potentially leave the instructor with open slots that they can't fill? I'm not sure what my kids want to do yet, so I'm not sure I can make a decision but want to know if it's really bad form to let the trainer invest a full week on my older dd just for her to leave immediately after that.

Argh. I hate things like this. I like the trainer(s), the barn, the other kids, it's not a personal decision. But I don't think it will go over really well...and I'm dreading that part of it. The *new* barn is practically in my backyard and the trainer is just as happy to come to our barn & give lessons on our horse and/or have lessons on her horses....we would probably do both.
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OpticalIllusion
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If your kids arent motivated and arent doing as told, regardless of why, Im sure the trainer isnt enjoying the lesson either.

If you continue through July, and the kids keep on the same path of not really trying in lessons, everyone may end up with a bad attitude towards each other. Ive watched this happen time and time again. If you need to move on, do it now while everyone is on good terms.

However, know that not every trainer is going to let your kids jump every lesson.
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MayaTy02
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Can't you just say you're changing because you want to have her take lessons on her horse, as opposed to lesson horses? Seems quite reasonable to me. Are you moving to the girl who rides Wealthia? It sounds like a good decision to move closer and have lessons on Kaylie (sp?). I can't imagine they'd take that personally.

As to the camp, I'm assuming it's a paid camp so why should they care if they have the money? I am sending Maya to a camp at a totally different barn than she rides at because her barn is too small to run a camp. I will have absolutely no problem saying "see ya next summer" when the camp is over.
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Trialbyfire
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OpticalIllusion
May 12 2010, 05:16 PM
If you continue through July, and the kids keep on the same path of not really trying in lessons, everyone may end up with a bad attitude towards each other. Ive watched this happen time and time again. If you need to move on, do it now while everyone is on good terms.

However, know that not every trainer is going to let your kids jump every lesson.
This is my fear, too. And my older dd is the stubborn type who might quit riding altogether just to be ornery, but would be the type to refuse to ever admit that they still wanted to ride and never go back to it.

And I totally understand about not jumping every lesson. I think at the heart of the issue is after riding your own horse that is nice and forward and responsive, a lesson on a lazy horse is torture. At least in the jumping lesson it is something new and exciting but working hard to plod around on some of the schoolies isn't all that fun.
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Trialbyfire
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MayaTy02
May 12 2010, 05:18 PM
Can't you just say you're changing because you want to have her take lessons on her horse, as opposed to lesson horses? Seems quite reasonable to me. Are you moving to the girl who rides Wealthia? It sounds like a good decision to move closer and have lessons on Kaylie (sp?). I can't imagine they'd take that personally.

As to the camp, I'm assuming it's a paid camp so why should they care if they have the money? I am sending Maya to a camp at a totally different barn than she rides at because her barn is too small to run a camp. I will have absolutely no problem saying "see ya next summer" when the camp is over.
Yes, that's the other barn, and obviously having lessons on our own horse is a big part of the wanting to switch. And they do other fun things like they competed in a trail class show 2 weeks ago and got to school on an obstacle course while they were there. They are going to do a overnight trail camping ride sometime this summer too! Not sure we'd be ready for that but I'd love to do that!

I am torn on the camp thing -- agreed, it's a paid camp and not cheap, so if they take my money they should be happy to have my kid. BUT, if they had another kid who would take the slot AND keep riding with the trainer, I think they'd much prefer that.....
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Barn Girl
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I think you're making a bigger deal out of it than it is. :) Just tell trainer you want to lesson on your own horse at home and that you still would like for the girls to attend camp this summer. No biggie! Around here it is not uncommon at all for kids to come to a camp and not continue to ride at that barn. And as OI said, if you leave on good terms, it leaves the door open should you decide you want to come back for lessons at a later date.
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Trialbyfire
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I probably am making a bigger deal of it than I need to. :) My older dd confessed today that she "doesn't really care if she attends the camp or not" so I think that makes my decision easier. I think it would be really bad to have her in the camp and not putting in any effort, not to mention the hassle and the money! So we'll see....thanks for the advice!
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Trialbyfire
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Just thought I'd update to say that I called the head trainer today and gave our notice from lessons, and also took the girls out of their July camps. We talked about my dd losing enthusiasm and she was very professional and agreed that it would be best to take a break before she learned to really dread lessons. We will have our regularly scheduled lessons this week and a school horse show on Sunday, and then next week will start working with our other trainer full time.

The kids will be helping the new trainer & her riders with a bake sale/garage sale to support their barn activities (4-H horse on free lease and "show clothes closet") this Saturday, and then hopefully we'll get a chance to join them at another local show after our show Sunday.

And we have a couple of little local shows on the calendar to take our mare to and we'll reassess our goals at the end of the summer.

I think I left things with the bigger barn in good shape should we want to go back there. Thanks for the advice. I'm very relieved!
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MayaTy02
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so glad it went well! Sounds like the girls will have a great summer!
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