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| Paying Bills; Spinoff from TOB | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 10 2010, 09:36 AM (861 Views) | |
| Won for Me | May 10 2010, 09:36 AM Post #1 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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I never realized that there is a whole section of society that sees bill paying as optional. I pay my bills on time or ahead of time. I probably know with in a dollar either way what is in my savings and checking account at all times. When I got involved with the Ex-BF, I knew things were tight financially because of child support, but I had no idea of how bad it was. With him, it seems like sort of a hoarding mentality of not paying bills. Procrastination to the extreme. It affects every step he takes. Every moment of his life is structured because of his bad credit and past due bills, but no desire to fix it. His cable was turned off and he had a digital box. I told him to make sure he returned the digital box or his account would be charged $250. I worked in cable for ten years...I know how this works. He still has the digital box...doesn't live in the apartment anymore and has had it since the cable was turned off around Christmas. Box doesn't work and he is just carrying it around now. That is a one example of the mentality. Don't answer when the debt collectors call. Throw away the mail and turn the other way...I had no idea that he isn't an isolated case. According to TOB, this is pretty standard for some people. Mental illness or sense of entitlement? |
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| Trixie | May 10 2010, 09:47 AM Post #2 |
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Thomas H. Cruise!
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What thread on TOB? I'm like you - fairly neurotic about paying things on time because I don't like late fees and I would prefer it if my credit stayed intact. In fact, I had a bitch of a time getting a good credit score because I didn't have ENOUGH debt wracked up and paid down. People are peculiar with money - and also very commercially driven. Folks tend to spend a lot more than they make. |
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| MayaTy02 | May 10 2010, 09:47 AM Post #3 |
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You're BANNED!
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yeah I don't get that either. I am hyper about paying my bills on time and feel very upset should I miss something, like i did 5 yrs ago with one bill (and it's still on my credit) My DH and I have been talking about this alot lately because when we moved to VA, little did we know that the phone number we got was last used by someone clearly in severe financial problems. We have been getting collections calls from at least 6-8 different loans and credit cards. And the funny thing is just last week we got a call from his vet confirming his appt for today at OUR vet. It just confirmed to us that he's still in the area but we think he changed his number so he could hide for awhile from his creditors. It truly is amazing that he thinks he can do this, or that he can apparently because they are still calling us so I assume they don't have him yet! |
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| kady05 | May 10 2010, 09:59 AM Post #4 |
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You're BANNED!
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I'm the same way. I do have a good credit score, not really sure why though because I never have a balance for long on any of my cards! I always have a $0 where it says "Minimum payment due" because I'm a freak about not having debt. BF is the same way, thank god. I could not deal with someone that had a ton of credit card debt! |
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| onthebit | May 10 2010, 10:27 AM Post #5 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Hubby and I are boring and old fashioned when it comes to money. No car debt, no credit card debt, no debt at all except the mortgage on our new farm, and we had a very substantial six figure down payment for that. We are building out the farm (fences, barns, run-ins, driveway, water, electric, etc.) with cash. Which means we are doing things in bits and pieces as we can pay for them. Have 6,000 feet of 4-board wood fence being built as a type - will need another 24,000 feet of fence to have it completely perimeter fenced and cross fenced. It is so tempting to borrow money to just do everything at once but I can't handle the thought of owing more money. Most of our friends think we are crazy for taking this approach. Edited to add I just don't get people who feel bill paying is optional. It simply does not jive with my value system and how I was raised. I asked for the cell phone and the Dish TV, so I'm going to pay the bill on time every time, no questions asked. How do people rationalize not paying for something that they have bought our used and think that is OK??? Edited by onthebit, May 10 2010, 10:28 AM.
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| Won for Me | May 10 2010, 10:33 AM Post #6 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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Lots of gray area on this one...I pay my bills, but carry a little debt...car, eeek, new mortgage soon. I have never been late on a board bill or vet bill. I make sure I pay my farrier immediately so if one pulls a shoe, he will put me first (or I like to think that!) The thread on the other board was about paying vet bills. I have known people who got in a crunch and couldn't pay a bill, but I didn't realize it was a lifestyle for some. I guess if it gets too bad for some, they just declare bankruptcy and get the debt forgiven. |
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| onthebit | May 10 2010, 10:36 AM Post #7 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Won for Me how did the ex rationalize not paying for things he had bought or used? Just curious as to the thought process behind that mentality because I just don't get it. I don't care if anyone has debt, but you should pay it back as agreed. The thing with the cable box just makes no sense to me at all. Is he too unorganized/lazy to return it or what? |
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| Buryinghill1 | May 10 2010, 10:38 AM Post #8 |
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You're BANNED!
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You said it! I have a friend with a multi-million dollar farm (and only a 300K mortgage). He was going to refinance, so he could get a mortgage which would allow him to pay only interest if he wanted (which was his desire). I said he was ridiculous! He makes a fortune (construction), and has pockets full of money. Then one night while we were discussing money he mentions his credit card debt. I knew he had some, but no idea it was 50, 60K. And he'd pay just a few hundred bucks each month on the balance. Here's a man who makes 250K and should have no debt (other than his mortgage). I am amazed. I've no idea why he can't understand he needs to get out of the credit card debt. Suze Orman where are you? A friend at work took her humongous tax refund to buy rims and low profile tires for her car. And a spoiler, and new tunes. While she owes 35K on the car. ![]() My bills are all auto-paid, debt is my minute mortgage. |
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| Trixie | May 10 2010, 10:46 AM Post #9 |
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Thomas H. Cruise!
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A few months ago I had to explain to a 24 year old coworker how credit cards and interest payments work. She was looking at an apartment that cost most of her monthly take-home pay and "sometimes pays down her cards just for fun." It took me a while to get the concepts of "credit" and "interest charges" across. She kept asking me why we penalize people with the worst credit because it "sets them up to fail." As far as I know, she still hasn't run her credit score. She's extremely well-educated, otherwise very smart, and from a good family - went to one of the best high schools in the country. Is it too old-codgerish of me to ask why we're not teaching kids about financial responsibility? Now get off my lawn. |
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| SnackPack | May 10 2010, 10:47 AM Post #10 |
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You're BANNED!
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While I don't feel paying is optional, I will say that I'm a procrastinator...but I am about everything in my life. If I dont' do it right away...it is going to take awhile to get done. For example, I like to pay the vet when she's there, because if she sends me a bill, it will probably take three billing cycles for me to get the check to her. I think my landlord was beginning to hate me because I wouldn't send the check until the middle of the month. I pay board on time, but mostly because I get a 10% discount if it's paid by the 7th. I spent a long time with credit issues, not because I didn't pay, but rather because my debt to income ratio was very bad. I couldn't get a car loan when I was buying my Jeep. School loans and some credit card usage (moving expenses/living expenses/and some really stupid stuff when I got my first card in college) were to blame. But these days, I have excellent credit (over 800) and the only thing I am in debt over is the car (although Elf is trying to change that ). Credit card companies are throwing huge limits at me...it's kind of scary I work pretty hard to not go into debt again because it really sucked, but it's weird to have the tables turned from before. I waited almost 10 months to order Elf a saddle because I didn't want to go into debt for it. I kind of feel like I did as a kid, when I would save up for something, but IMO, that's really the way people should be spending. Just because I CAN buy on credit now, doesn't mean I should. Edited by SnackPack, May 10 2010, 10:48 AM.
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| SnackPack | May 10 2010, 10:57 AM Post #11 |
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You're BANNED!
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Not at all. I got myself into trouble my freshman year in college. It's embarrassing to remember now, but I REALLY wanted a leather jacket that cost about $275. There 's now way I could afford that, so I decided to get a credit card from one of those wonderful little tables the credit companies set up in the student union. I got a $300 limit and I was on my way. That was 1989. I think I finally paid that jacket off in 2000 or so, long after I stopped wearing it, and probably having paid over $1500 all said and done. (I did use the card for other things...but it was always a fairly low limit card, and I could only pay the minimum due). I have a co-worker who is 22 and has $12k in credit card debt...from buying clothes/shoes. The collectors call her regularly. She's trying to pay it off, but she makes little $$ and still hasn't gotten a handle on her shopping habit. She does, however, realize how bad credit is. I'm trying to teach her by telling her my experiences and how I got out of debt, but each time I see her shopping online, I think it's a lost cause. Edited by SnackPack, May 10 2010, 11:20 AM.
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| Won for Me | May 10 2010, 11:00 AM Post #12 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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Onthebit, I am not sure how he rationalized it...He often said if he had the money, he would pay his bills. And to be a little fair, in Louisiana, child support is unreal and unfair. So for months, I figured it was a child support issue. Since he gets paid every week by the church, I didn't really notice at first. He would pay for dinners or some groceries. Around Christmas time is when I really started to see the issue. He started bouncing checks, his cell phone was turned off and that is when his cable was turned off. He grew up dirt poor and I think it is somewhat a lack of life skills to know how to handle it. Procrastination is also a huge part. When he was going to give up his apartment and move in officially with me, he never quite got out of the old apartment. He hadn't paid and the power was off. He has an SUV so it wasn't that he needed to hire a truck or mover; he just needed to do it. He just couldn't quite finish the task...And someone always steps up and bails him out...
Edited by Won for Me, May 10 2010, 11:03 AM.
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| Delia | May 10 2010, 11:08 AM Post #13 |
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You're BANNED!
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My sister's ex-husband was like that. His solution to everything was to declare personal bankruptcy, which he did twice in the 6 years they were married. He is the definition of a deadbeat, and is the very type of person that new bankruptcy laws enacted a few years ago were intended to shut down. |
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| FlashGordon | May 10 2010, 12:10 PM Post #14 |
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You're BANNED!
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Absolutely. I think a lot of it has to do with how people are raised. Seems people either take the opposite route, or follow in stride, when it comes to emulating their parents' spending habits. A good friend of mine is a total tightwad. Like, ridiculously so. As I got to know him I found out why.... his parents had gone completely and utterly belly up when he was a teenager and it has taken them years to get back on their feet. (And guess the reason?!? Horses.... and a mismanaged 30 stall boarding facility they used to own...) I think sometimes people get so far in the hole they stop dealing with it. I've seen it happen with friends and family. They ignore the bills, calls, etc. I don't know HOW, it would absolutely tweak me out completely... The greatest gift my parents gave me was a debt-free college education. I hope I can do that for my kids someday. Not having to deal with student loans right out of the gate made life a lot easier. |
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| Won for Me | May 10 2010, 12:25 PM Post #15 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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FG, I too had a debt free education and I do appreciate that. It really seems like some people do and some people don't. I would be stressed constantly if I was behind on anything...let alone debt collectors were calling and harrassing me. |
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While she owes 35K on the car. 


1:52 AM Jul 11