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Anyone on tonight...?; Update 5/6-- Emotional Roller Coaster
Topic Started: May 2 2010, 06:49 PM (1,350 Views)
JumpTheMoon
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Black Tack
May 3 2010, 10:10 AM
for a minute I thought that was MY JTM suggesting rotten eggs and the like..... :innocent: She must have learned that stuff from Headless ;)
Naw, I learned that from dad. Ever notice a funny smell coming from your underwear drawer?? :o :nyah:
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Little Diva
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When my ex husband informed me over dinner, that I was paying for, at my favourite restaurant, that he was leaving me for a 25 year old female soccer play, I said "well isn't that nice. Have you moved all of your stuff out yet?" He replied that he had moved some out (I had been away on business for 10 days so I had no idea what was and was not still in the house) Anyway, I calmly got up, paid for dinner, and went home. And I was surprised to find his beloved -- and I mean BELOVED vinyl album collection. He had some very rare album pressings that were worth a lot of money. He also left his two electric guitars behind, so I "helped" him by putting everything OUTSIDE so it was easy for him to pick up the next morning.

Did I mention that album artwork is very colorful when placed on the lawn in the summer? The colours are spectacular. And then it started to rain. And right in the middle of my display were his two electric guitars, and his other stuff that he left behind.

In the end, he got the house cause I hated the place -- too many bad memories. But I got something better than that house.

I got ME :hug:
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Black Tack
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JumpTheMoon
May 3 2010, 10:13 AM
Black Tack
May 3 2010, 10:10 AM
for a minute I thought that was MY JTM suggesting rotten eggs and the like..... :innocent: She must have learned that stuff from Headless ;)
Naw, I learned that from dad. Ever notice a funny smell coming from your underwear drawer?? :o :nyah:
Bad daughter. Very bad :tongue: :hug:
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Won for Me
Is the meadow on fire?
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LD, that is a great story. If anything is still at my apartment when I move, I think that is becomes my property...especially if I have to pay to move it. Unfortunately, he has nothing of any value (except the keyboard).

You know, Black Tack, I have never had much kitchen stuff and he did have something that I might need...just little things like Tupperware, a better collander (sp?), some pots and pans. Since he is living with his dad, most will go unnoticed until he gets his own place which might be 14 years when the last child is of age.

RH, he is novel material...unfortunately, most people would not believe me and think I am writing fiction.

One of the things I noticed early on was this horrible black cloud that followed him around. Awful things have happened to him and have been for years and years. Most of us go through bad times, but when everything goes wrong for years, you have to wonder. I wondered if he was/is cursed. He says it is just his life and it is always hard and has always been hard. I think 95% of it is from being financially destitute. I hope I got out before the black cloud decided I was a good target too.
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headlesshorseman
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Black Tack
May 3 2010, 10:49 AM
JumpTheMoon
May 3 2010, 10:13 AM
Black Tack
May 3 2010, 10:10 AM
for a minute I thought that was MY JTM suggesting rotten eggs and the like..... :innocent: She must have learned that stuff from Headless ;)
Naw, I learned that from dad. Ever notice a funny smell coming from your underwear drawer?? :o :nyah:
Bad daughter. Very bad :tongue: :hug:
SEE...it wasn't me.... :point: BUT I LIKE YOUR HUSBAND MORE EVERYDAY!!!!

Let him know you left his keyboard out on the porch and the Local ally cat came and "made it his own"

THAT stuff does NOT come out of NOTHIN'......PLANTS laced with eggs and an OPEN CAN OF TUNA NEAR BY...attract some awesome KITTIES that might think they are the litter box...then when he see's a kitty turd...he'll chunk it out and NOT realize there is an EGG BOMB waiting to go off in a week or 2 :psycho:

HH :)
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Corey94
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WFM, I'm w/ DQ and BT. Take some solace in the plants with the bleach, and waste not one more second on anything ex BF related. He's not worth it, and you won't have to wonder what the repercussions may or may not be.

You have a big black boyfriend now!! :clap:
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Won for Me
Is the meadow on fire?
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Corey94, That is exactly what I call Connor! Too funny. Friends will ask what I am doing tonight...spending time with my big, black boyfriend.

There is a funny story behind it...I was at a park and beautiful black lab ran over to me and her owner was a young(ish) guy. He said her name was BG for black girlfriend. He was ignorant enough to complete the story how he always wanted a black girlfriend so now he had one. I said you need to stop telling that story and just say BG stands for Beautiful Girl. But, now I do it too and call Connor my BBB. People faint around here when they hear me say that on the phone. I look at them and say it is my horse.

Ex BF texted and said he took the day off to move the rest of his stuff. I can only hope he did the kitchen; but if not, I might just borrow the stuff until he gets around to needing it.

No more revenge...the plants were enough. I agree. Fun to think about, but I am walking the high road from now on.

Just had a little good news...my homeowners insurance will be significantly less than my original mortgage worksheet. Yeah!

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SnackPack
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:hug: :hug: :hug: Take solace in Connor and the fact that you aren't going to occupying space under that big black cloud.
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AstonMartin
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Hey there

I broke up with my long term boyfriend in Feb. It was honestly sooo hard. I've been ready for breakups in the past, but this really floored me. I was being mistreated. He yelled and carried on, would make me cry, was not positive when I told him about stuff I wanted to do (ie: modelling etc... which made me self conscious). He was also the flip side to all of that and had wonderful qualities (when he wanted to show them). So it made the breakup hard. I knew it was for the best and that I'd be happier without him, but at the same time, i didn't want to be without him b/c i was worried i wouldn't find someone else. My whole family was behind the breakup b/c they agreed that I was being mistreated and that this would not be the person that I would marry (even though for a while I truly thought it would be).

ALL of my friends told me that time would heal. But every night i'd wake up with anxiety and this feeling of dread in my chest. It was really bad for about a week. Then it slowly (very gradually) eased up and after a month i felt confident in saying that I was better off alone. It has been almost 3 months now and we have been able to catch up once or twice and it has been nice. Not sexually motivated or fueled by feelings of attachment - just friends (albeit some awkwardness). It was really good to see him in that way and not in the resentful, 'why do you treat me like this' way. He had a temper and he never uses that on friends, only on me. Now that we're quasi-friends, i don't see that side and I can or will be able to (one day) appreciate him as a friend (afterall i did spend years with him)/

I know that everyone is different, and i'm aware that not everyone wants to be friends with their ex. I can appreciate that. But my philosophy in life has always been that if I spend alot of time with someone then I probably saw something i liked...why hate that person when the negative energy is so draining. So for me personally, after the initial 'awkward' phase, i've always seemed to be successful in building a new relationship with ex's whereby we can be amicable towards one another. Where there is still some care, and some friendship, but not too much that it becomes awkward.

Thats funny about the plants. I couldn't do that b/c i'd get guilt over killing an innocent plant! hahaha. I was actually more shocked by the fact that he's taking 'house plants' with him when he leaves. Is that not something that is just in the house? Like do you really really need them? I mean come-on!!! My ex and I just split the big things, and the little things (if they were important to him) he took, and the other things (if they were important/more needed by me) I took. All very clear cut. But i guess it can get not-clear-cut when people are angry. I mean, my ex-roomate and his now ex-gf lived together for 3 years (he literally paid for EVERYTHING - including an expensive kitchen appliances hobby). Then she demanded 1/2 of everything!!!! He ended up giving it to her in the end to avoid a fight, but this was one girl who was a total leech (didn't contribute to anything). Yuck.

Bottom line from me to you is I still remember the pain and hurt I went through at the beginning. Sometimes I couldn't talk to anyone, and other times I just needed to let it all out. It was soo super hard. But the good news is I feel alot better. I'm 'seeing' someone new, much much better 'on paper' and 'in person' at this stage. Its still early days, but it shows me that there are other fish in the sea, and other people that will treat you how you want to be treated.

Biggest ever hugs, I'm here if you ever need a chat (but i live in Australia...so on odd hours)....xo
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zbar
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It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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Won for Me
May 3 2010, 09:56 AM


I need to stop worrying about what he is going to do...I can't control his actions. If he finds someone new, he is not going to suddenly be the Worlds Best Boyfriend. His issues run very deep and he doesn't think he needs to change. He wants to find someone who accepts him exactly as he is...unfortunately he is socially challenged, and completely inhibited. To say nothing of financially ruined. I have never seen anyone so completely drowning in debt.

Yes, I am bashing him. I need to get some of the bad stuff out.
Hey are you sure you werent with my Ex? LOL that sounds just like him ...we were married (technically still are) 12 years. Girl I have not cried one lick over him, sad about Hanna losing her dad but she will live.

I hope you are getting stronger and feeling better everyday. You sound spot on that you did the RIGHT thing for YOU!.

Many many hugs to you :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

And yes your horse is HOT so HOT man that is a good looking boyfriend!!!! When your done with him you can send him here k? :teehee:

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Trixie
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My ex boyfriend asked me if we could split the silverware.

That was two years ago and I'm yet to be over it. :rofl:
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Won for Me
Is the meadow on fire?
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Okay, I want off the roller coaster! My emotions are all over the place. I have been making a huge effort to stay extremely busy (never a problem with my job) and see friends who I haven't seen in awhile. My phone seems to be going off constantly with texts from friends or work...BUT, today, I am anxious and missing the ex. Why? I don't know.

I got together with a male friend for the evening last night. I noticed how nice it was to be with someone who would recripricate. If you asked the ex how was his day, his answer would be fine. He would never turn it around and ask me. This little personality flaw was evident in all aspects of our life. No compliments. I would say, "You look nice today". His answer, "Thanks." Back rubs...I never got one. I won't continue, but you get the drift.

So, last night, I had two way conversation. My friend complimented me. He just made me feel good about me again. Just what I needed. So, today, I feel like crap. I checked Facebook for the first time and got upset when the ex had upped the privacy settings. I have a feeling he is living at his church and plan to ride by after I go to the barn.

I am slipping today. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I am doing all the right things to get over this moron. Why aren't they working today?
Edited by Won for Me, May 6 2010, 03:25 PM.
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sheepwithagun
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We're on a bridge, Chaaaaaaaaarlie!
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Won for Me
May 6 2010, 03:23 PM
So, last night, I had two way conversation. My friend complimented me. He just made me feel good about me again. Just what I needed. So, today, I feel like crap. I checked Facebook for the first time and got upset when the ex had upped the privacy settings. I have a feeling he is living at his church and plan to ride by after I go to the barn.
Don't drive by to see him. It's just going to make you think about him more. He is not worth the gas it takes to drive by the place.
Pick out something to look forward to after work/the barn tonight. Maybe rent a favorite movie or buy one of those mini things of ice cream (so you won't feel guilty when you eat the entire thing)..
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AstonMartin
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Your feelings sound like mine were.

You know that you're better off but you slip.

I think the keeping yourself busy (i went to the gym like twice a day) is a key element! It really really helped me. Maybe try that? Just keep yourself flooded with things to do/ people to see. The upshot of that is my social life is now great and i've been having ALOT of fun!

Slipping (or feeling like it) is natural. I wanted to look on facebook all the time, but that is the devil. I contemplated deleting it, but then I realized i didn't need it anymore (ie: didn't need to look) and its been alot better.

I also found it helped when I was told by a mutual friend that he had hooked up with someone alot worse than me. Its mean to say that, but he had a good thing with me and didn't treat me well, so that helped me. B/c i knew that he'd have to work double time to find someone else equivalent ;) hahaha.
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Won for Me
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Thanks Sheep and Aston...I appreciate the support. I did drive by and his truck was there...it sort of made me feel better.

Aston, how long??????????????? How long to I don't want to look at Facebok, etc. I know everyone is different.

I tried to think of all the good ways I was dealing with it on the way to the barn and I do think I am doing pretty well after a week. I slipped today a little, but I guess it is expected. Tomorrow, I will be strong again.
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