| Welcome to The Outside Course! You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features! |
| Dealing with Parents | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 4 2010, 10:43 PM (387 Views) | |
| TarynJ | Apr 4 2010, 10:43 PM Post #1 |
![]()
Guiding your way to Candy Mountain, since 1873.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I love my mother. Honest. Really. But she does stuff that makes me want to permanently screen her calls. This week's fun? I've been going through a really stressful few weeks at work. Plus a broken toe which is still sensitive. Plus ugly weather that makes me slightly cranky. Plus Bria 5yo antics. Nothing particularly crazy, just life, and it's all hitting at once. Then my mother announces she's coming to visit. This is not a "relaxing" or "remotely helpful" thing. My mother blows into town, "helps" organize my life, and then leaves me trying to put everything back where I like it, figuratively and literally. And she HOVERS. From 5am to 8pm. Which is about the time I go to bed because I can't stand being talked at any longer (not talked to. talked AT.). She does it all with the best of intentions, but it still makes me crackers. And right now, I just can't deal with it.So I put her off with "I can't get time off work right now." No worries! She'll BORROW MY TRUCK and sight see (oh hell no). And hang out with Bria! OH DOUBLE HELL NO. Why? Because then I'll have to be educated on all things related to my truck and horse for the next month. Because she will, by that point, know more about them, the city I live in, and the people I know, than I ever will. Plus, although she was the local crash test dummy as a kid, and rode a bit as an adult, she doesn't realize how much she doesn't know. Bria would eat her for lunch.So I finally lose it at her for not listening when I say "no". Her response???? HAHAHAHA - Gotcha. She's going to New Zealand to visit a friend. Did I mention she also has this lovely habit of deliberately winding me up because she thinks it's funny??? I love her dearly, and knowing a few people who have lost parents does make me appreciate that I have her. Any tips on not letting her get under my skin...? Edited by TarynJ, Apr 4 2010, 10:50 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Onelanerode | Apr 5 2010, 03:35 AM Post #2 |
![]()
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
No tips on how to keep her from getting to you like that ... my dad does the same thing to me. And then he has the nerve to go "Well don't go getting all hot under the collar ..." OMFG. I think I might start letting the phone go to voicemail for a bit.
|
![]() |
|
| Trialbyfire | Apr 5 2010, 04:57 AM Post #3 |
|
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Oy, that sounds really hard. My parents have their own isuses, and my in-laws drive me batty, but luckily they don't try to "educate" me because I don't think I would take it well. Well, I think you have 2 approaches...one being more direct "Mom, I really would love to have you visit but I don't have the time to enjoy it right now and unfortunately it would be stressful for me", or "Sure mom, but the truck needs brakes and I wouldn't feel safe with you driving around town in it"...or something like that. When my parents/in-laws drive me crazy I file little mental notes away about how I won't ever do this to my kids. I wonder how successful I'll be? My in-laws "rescued" me from a day home alone yesterday -- they invited us to Easter dinner WITH the puppy and I bowed out, excusing myself by saying that the puppy doesn't travel well. Saturday afternoon they came up with a great idea - they would bring dinner to US!" So not only did I not get a day alone.....[which I was SO looking foward to!] but I also had to clean my house. Oh well, I filed away a mental note and took the indirect route. Good luck with your decision! |
![]() |
|
| Won for Me | Apr 5 2010, 06:59 AM Post #4 |
|
Is the meadow on fire?
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I am in the middle of a huge family fight right nw and have not talked to my mom since the beginning of October. I wish everyday she would call and say she is coming for a visit. She can drive me crazy for a week. Better than the deafening silence. |
![]() |
|
| jillincolorado | Apr 5 2010, 10:59 AM Post #5 |
![]()
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Voldka. Intraveniously. I'm kidding. Actually it's tequilla. You all have no doubt read about my mother, so let me just be the first to say, and repeat after me; homicide is a felony...homicide is a felony. Really, it sounds to me like she knows EXACTLY what bothers you and isn't afraid to spin you up. From your description that she actually ENJOYS it, which I find very interesting (and familiar). For me, I just don't let her get under my skin. I figure you can't argue with someone who WILL NOT COMMENT, whether I agree or disagree, right? This works for me most of the time, but I can not tell you how trying it is to bite my tongue and not be phased, no matter what. I mean really who wants the drama? *apparently your mother and mine!!* |
![]() |
|
| Bearhunter | Apr 5 2010, 01:49 PM Post #6 |
|
Magical Leopluridon
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
My mother died fourteen years ago. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her. I was 31 when she died, newly married (3 months) and still talked to her multiple times a day. I think so often though what my life would be like if she were still around. We had such a co-dependent relationship (though in truth she became so much more emotionally dependent on me than I on her) and my dh and I have often discussed how different our marriage would be today if she were here. She was so needy and was the consummate martyr. She hated being alone and I was the center of her world. In those days there wasn't caller id so you couldn't screen calls. It saddens me that she never got to meet my beautiful boys but I really wonder if they would have made it to this world if she were still in it. Nevertheless, I still miss her all the time but do remember the difficulties quite clearly. to you Ibex
|
![]() |
|
| Witchy | Apr 6 2010, 03:39 AM Post #7 |
|
You're BANNED!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Brutal. We now go out for all holiday meals. No one has to clean their house, or do the cooking and dishes. I like it much better. Sorry, no real advice, except just don't let it get to you. I've finally learned, after 41 years on earth, to be a duck. I just let most things roll off my back. Edited by Witchy, Apr 6 2010, 03:42 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · The Hay Loft · Next Topic » |






![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
This is not a "relaxing" or "remotely helpful" thing. My mother blows into town, "helps" organize my life, and then leaves me trying to put everything back where I like it, figuratively and literally. And she HOVERS. From 5am to 8pm. Which is about the time I go to bed because I can't stand being talked at any longer (not talked to. talked AT.). She does it all with the best of intentions, but it still makes me crackers. And right now, I just can't deal with it.
Plus, although she was the local crash test dummy as a kid, and rode a bit as an adult, she doesn't realize how much she doesn't know. Bria would eat her for lunch.





to you Ibex
7:48 AM Jul 11