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TOC, I need a hug...
Topic Started: Apr 1 2010, 01:00 PM (1,355 Views)
JumpTheMoon
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I am a sad panda :(

A week ago yesterday, one of my closest friends took her own life. She was the sweetest, smartest, most beautiful girl with a heart of gold. She had a lifetime of struggles, none of us really ever knew where they stemmed from, if anywhere, and they really came to a head in the last year with a few attempts and hospital stays. She'd been working with a therapist and psychiatris and we really thought she was over the 'hump' lately. She came to my shower on the Sunday, and by Wednesday she was gone. Just like that.

Today was her funeral service and I can honestly say it was one of the hardest things I have EVER done thus far. The place was packed with not a dry eye. I will never understand how she felt so alone when there were SO many people who loved her and she had so much going for her. Or why we couldnt take away her pain without having to lose her for good. Or how she could go downhill SO fast without calling out for help. There are a thousand crappy ways to die that you can't control, and taking your own life is just so very sad and...permanent.

I know she is at peace now, and I know she is finally where she wants to be...but damnit, I'm going to really miss her. :(
Edited by JumpTheMoon, Apr 1 2010, 01:10 PM.
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jillincolorado
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:no: Oh my dearest Kate. I wish I were there to take you out for a drink and lend you a shoulder. I am so very sorry.

It's so sad to see a young life cut short and even MORE sad to know that nothing could be done to help her. She is lucky to have had such good and caring friends. Some things are just beyond our control and good people are sadly sometimes, not too long for this earth.

Take care of yourself, hon. Can you get to your Momma's for some good old TLC?????
Edited by jillincolorado, Apr 1 2010, 01:08 PM.
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RHowell
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I remember the viewing for the brother--who took his own life--of one of my barnmates growing up--the line into the funeral home was 3 hours long. It is very hard to come to terms with how people so loved could struggle so much, but I think it's one thing we just can't ever really understand. And, I think if they could understand it themselves, they wouldn't get to the state of such desperation. There are some things that just can't be understood. They just hurt.

:hug: :candle:
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bellaluna
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Magical Leopluridon
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I am SO SO sorry for your loss. I lost a friend the same way a couple of years ago and it is incredibly hard. You and all of her friends and family will be in my thoughts. Hopefully she is at peace now. :,( :,( :,( :,(
:hug: :,( :jingles: :hug: :,( :jingles: :hug: :,( :jingles: :hug: :,( :jingles: :hug: :,( :jingles: :hug: :,( :jingles:
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FlashGordon
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Oh JTM I am so, so sorry. I was just thinking about you and BT today as I've not seen either of you around TOC lately and wondered what was up.

It is so hard to understand depression like that. It has to be so consuming and deep.... and my heart goes out to anyone who has been in such a dark place that suicide seems like the only option. It is incredibly sad and it must be so lonely.

Huge hugs to you. Loads of prayers for her and her family. I'm sure this is a most difficult time for all who knew and loved her.

:hug: :hug: :hug:
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jillincolorado
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...I forgot to add big old Texas-sized squenches for you my dear. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Thinking of you...
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headlesshorseman
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JumpTheMoon
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Thanks guys.

My whole family came to the funeral, as did Corey. My mom was close with her as well, kind of like a 'second' mother.

I leave Saturday for a much needed visit with my best friend in Florida, but somehow avoiding the hurt doesn't really make it better.
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OpticalIllusion
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :jingles: :jingles: :jingles:

Im so so sorry for your loss. Just try to remember that she is at peace now. She will not cry or struggle or hurt any longer. My thoughts and prayers to you and her family and friends.
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Indy
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Oh JTM :no: :no:
So many :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: for you
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ImJumpin
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Shunnnnn the unbeliever. Shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
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:hug:

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3Bays
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:hug: :hug: :hug: JTM My sincerest sympathies on the loss of your friend.:,( Such a sorrowful situation for all...it is hard to understand and it hurts so much. :candle: :candle: :candle:

I, too, had a dear friend in college commit suicide and I still think about him; it's so hard when a friend leaves us like this. My best thoughts to you, JTM, and many, many hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Won for Me
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:hug: :hug: :hug:

A woman at my company ended her life last Fall. I wasn't close with her, but she was very popular and successful. It sent a huge shock wave through the company. Three beautiful children, wonderful job, financially well off, attractive...so sad.

Even though I wasn't close to her, it affected me for a long time.
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JumpTheMoon
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Thanks guys, I knew I could count on you all for hugs :hug:

My mom says hi as well, her computer is broken and she is suffering from major TOC/FB withdrawl!
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Barn Girl
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It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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