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| Buying a Horse- video added :); Who might not be THE ONE | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 1 2009, 08:04 PM (1,497 Views) | |
| gracetw22 | Oct 1 2009, 08:04 PM Post #1 |
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I'm going to try a horse on Sunday who on paper is a good fit. Mr. Lego is a big fat retiree now at the age of 11, I am totally heartbroken and I haven't ridden 'for real' in 2 months. I don't really know what I want at this point, but I just know that having horses will always break your heart, and the good times have to be worth the bad ones. Thing is, I'm getting hung up on trying horses. I see them and don't even want to sit on them because they're not perfect. I already bought one horse who was not perfect and I cry all the time over how that turned out. So this time, I want a perfect one and I would rather not have a horse to ride for months than buy one who won't be worth the heartbreak when it's over. This one I am going to look at Sunday is a lovely mover, has a cute jump in him sometimes and we could have him on trial to see if it comes out, but he just does not make my skirt fly up for a number of reasons, most of which are kind of silly. So have any of you been here? I just don't want to talk myself into buying a not perfect horse. Edit: Or I could just be too sad to rationally think about anything. Edited by gracetw22, Oct 30 2009, 03:14 PM.
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| Trialbyfire | Oct 2 2009, 03:51 AM Post #2 |
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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Ooh, wish I could help. I'm not the right person but there are many new-ish horse owners here....they must be able to relate!! The good news is the trial...I can't imagine how anyone can be *sure* from just trying a horse once or twice unless they already knew the horse (and secretly coveted them anyway). Very exciting news, though....so please keep us posted!! 
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| kady05 | Oct 2 2009, 04:37 AM Post #3 |
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I'm so sorry to hear about Lego, that stinks  But, been there, done that. Clyde is my dream horse, you know that  , and NOTHING will ever 'beat' him, even if I can't ride him! It's some mental block I have. I bought Jack after I realized Clyde & I didn't work. Jack was adorable, and safe, but his personality just wasn't for me, and I didn't feel like giving him a lot of time to come around (come to find out, the kid that had him before me was a total jerk to him, so it's no wonder he wasn't thrilled with people). So I sold him. Then I got Kirra, who was cute, and fairly fancy. But I should've never bought her. She wasn't confident o/f and I needed that since Clyde had ruined my confidence in general. So she's sold. So now I'm back to square one, with just Clyde, who is leased for the year. So I have nothing to ride. I honestly should've never sold Merlin, as he was something I had FUN on, despite a couple quirks. But I just couldn't fathom parting with Clyde over Merlin (I couldn't afford 2 at the time), so Merlin was sold. Stupid, stupid Kady. I've realized that no horse will ever compare to Clyde, which probably isn't a very good attitude, but I really can't afford a horse right now so it's ok (not like I'm out looking and comparing). If I can get a horse again, I know I need to change my mind set before going and looking, otherwise, I'll end up right where I was with Jack & Kirra. So basically, just try not to compare everything to Lego and go in with an open mind. And don't make decisions quickly! That's what screwed me up.. for whatever reason I always seem to jump on the first or second horse I try and that's not smart most of the time. |
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| vxf111 | Oct 2 2009, 06:13 AM Post #4 |
You're BANNED!
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Sorry to hear about Lego. If you're up to sharing, what happened? I think I said this to SnackPack when she was shopping. I don't buy what I don't love. This is a hobby and it needs to be fun. I need to LIKE the head I see hanging over the stall door! It's too much time, money, and heartache to do this with a partner you're not thrilled with. That being said, if the horse is suitable I would ABSOLUTELY take it on trial and see if it grows on you. For SURE. But if at the end of the trial you just don't feel like this is a horse that makes your heart go pitter patter, send it back and keep looking. There are thousands of wonderful horses out there, why settle for one that's just suitable? This, of course, all assumes you're being realistic about what you want/your budget/availability etc. But I am sure you are. |
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| Lion1024 | Oct 2 2009, 06:16 AM Post #5 |
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I don't really have any advice to share, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear about Lego. |
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| Ibex | Oct 2 2009, 06:27 AM Post #6 |
Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I'm sorry to hear about Lego. I would agree tho - if you don't love it, don't buy it. It might take a ride or two, and some quality barn time to know if you love it. I certainly didn't buy Bria because of the way she looked the cross-ties or the video. It was when I sat on her that I knew I was doing the right thing. Yup, we had a rough winter, but now that we're back on the same page I still get that chill up my spine when I ride her... |
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| OpticalIllusion | Oct 2 2009, 06:27 AM Post #7 |
Guiding your way to Candy Mountain, since 1873.
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Really sorry about Lego  I had (and still have actually) the most wonderful mare when I was a junior. I could do anything with her. She taught me so much, we had such a great bond. I cant tell you how much I love that mare. I have had several horses after her, most of which have done the job I needed them for, but I dont have that connection with any of them. Its ok though, cause I can still love on my mare that I love dearly. I had one mare that I despised for about a year when I finally told my mom I wasnt going to ride her anymore. Put her out in the field for about 6 months. Went to get back on her so I could tune her up and lease her to someone, and fell completely in love with her. I really truthfully dont even like my current show mare. But she does the job, and does a good job of it. I tell her all the time that its a good thing she is fancy, or she would be right back where she came from. You will never find something to replace Lego. You may find something you love equally as much though. |
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| Delia | Oct 2 2009, 08:07 AM Post #8 |
Is the meadow on fire?
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Grace -- I know how you feel. I had to retire my wonderful boy 8 years ago at 13, when he lost vision in one eye and decided that jumping in anything other than perfect lighting conditions wasn't a great idea. Since then I've just worked with young horses for my trainer and her mom, and leased one that I show occassionally. But now, finally, a 3-year old has come into their barn that TOTALLY floats my boat, and my horse just lost his pasturemate and needs a new friend. Even so, it doesn't make any sense at all for me to buy something right now, but I'm thinking I might just have to do it because the ones that you really connect with just don't come around that often. So, to answer your question -- no, I don't think you should buy unless you really "feel it." Doesn't matter whether you don't love them b/c their jump isn't that great, they're not that comfortable to flat, or you don't like the way their mane lies. Maybe you could just lease something until you find "the one?" Or maybe you could do a lease with first right of refusal to buy, if you think that you're not falling in love because you're heart still hurts about Lego?? |
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| SnackPack | Oct 2 2009, 10:21 AM Post #9 |
It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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I'm so sorry to hear about Lego. One thing that struck me, though is this statement:
Was Lego the unperfect horse (wasn't your first horse not a great fit?)? If so, is that just AFTER the issues that made you have to retire him or has he never been a great horse for you? I remember reading your posts and seeing pictures and things looked good. I ask because you may need to start with adjusting your perspective on Lego. What worked for you regarding him? Looks, personality, temperament, talent, etc. If the lameness is the only thing that made him not perfect, you're really aren't going to be able to ever find another perfect horse. No one wants to buy a horse predispose to lameness, but ANY horse has lameness potential and could go from being a perfect horse to being retired in a short amount of time for a myriad of reasons. It's the absolute heartbreak of owning/competing horses. Now for your posted question: Back in June I posted a very similar question. I tried a nice little horse that could do the job. I was pretty m'eh about him and so I posted here. Show, my first horse is my dream horse and the situation has turned out less than perfect with both temperament and lameness issues. I wanted something that could do what I wanted and wouldn't be too difficult to show, etc. I ended up buying the m'eh horse in July,thinking I could ride him for a few years, advance in my skills and then sell him to the next person looking to move up. Elf is a good boy, but we've had a difficult go of it. I thought I could be in the ring, doing 2'9" in about 2 months. We're 3 months out and I've trotted him over some tiny little crossrails and verticals about 5 times.  Things are starting to look better everyday, though: We cantered our first jumps last night.  I actually left the barn last night for the first time very pleased with him. I now think things are going to work out...but for quite some time I didn't. I had to impose a "I won't think about selling him until" date so that I wouldn't do something rash. I type all that because I think a lot of the issue was because Elf isn't "the one." He's just a horse (although he's growing on me). It's harder to forgive 'just a horse' for the issues that arise with ANY horse. Show has always been the one. It's probably why I lasted 6 years trying to make things work with him. I love that stupid nutbag more than I should. Even now, after his craziness and soundness issues, I still think I want to keep him. He makes me all googily eyed and riding him (when he's being good) is pretty much the best thing ever.  I had decided to sell him before he got injured, but now I'm not so sure. Part of that is because I now have Elf to take the showing pressure off of Show. So let me sum up: Finding the perfect horse is great, but it may not always be perfect. Things can still go wrong. It is easier to forgive the perfect horse, however. Buying a 'm'eh' horse...as long as you understand why you are doing it, may not be so bad, but it will be harder to forgive them for whatever they do "wrong" whether that be lameness, stupidity, etc. And the m'eh horse can grow on you enough that you can enjoy riding/owning it. |
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| OpticalIllusion | Oct 2 2009, 10:56 AM Post #10 |
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Guiding your way to Candy Mountain, since 1873.
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I THINK she is talking about the little tb mare she had? Maybe? |
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| kady05 | Oct 2 2009, 02:51 PM Post #11 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Yeah, most likely it was Tess. Cute little red mare 
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| Bearhunter | Oct 2 2009, 04:45 PM Post #12 |
Thomas H. Cruise!
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I have owned probably 15 horses in my life. I have always tried to buy with my heart (because I don't do this as a business, I do it because I love it.) The two times I bought with my head and convinced myself it would be right, when my heart wasn't into it, the horse and I just didn't fit. Neither horse was a disaster, but they weren't anything like what I had hoped for. So, I say if you are second guessing, you are not buying with heart. You will know when the right one comes along. We all do. 
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| FlashGordon | Oct 3 2009, 10:32 AM Post #13 |
Is the meadow on fire?
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BH, I've had the same experience. I've owned 5, leased countless others. All sorts of breeds, sizes, colors, abilities. The times I purchased with my head, were far less successful than the ones I took on because they pulled at my heartstrings. Now that is not to say throw caution to the wind and buy the first barbie dream horse you fall in love with, despite their suitability..... it just means that as the others said, I do think it is important to really enjoy the horse and feel a connection. It doesn't have to be a "once in a lifetime" connection but you have to like the horse! Cause the reality is, sometimes they are hurt, sick, laid-up, whatever. And if you didn't love them when you were riding them, you're really not going to love them when you are paying their bills and/or nursing them through injuries etc. So very sorry about Lego. I know how disappointing that must have been. Keep your eyes (and your heart) open and the right horse will find you..... |
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| kady05 | Oct 3 2009, 10:58 AM Post #14 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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Yeah, don't do that. That's what I did with Clyde. Not smart  
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| gracetw22 | Oct 3 2009, 11:04 AM Post #15 |
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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No, I meant my dear Lego. I bought him even though he didn't vet necessarily, and wasn't the fanciest thing ever, because he had so many good attributes. He jumps just fine, but I was always told that he only really was going to win the class when the jumps got big because he needed the challenge. This one is the same way. Well, I spent 4 seasons with Lego trying to get the stars to align and did one show over the big jumps before he was done. With Lego, I bought him because he made sense, not because I was just in love with him, and I spent all this time and effort making it work. It was a long hard road and I went through a lot of frustration and injury and disappointment making it work because I knew he would be something someday. I guess this time around, I don't want to put too much stock in what will happen tomorrow. I want a horse who I will just enjoy today. So much of what makes me sad about Lego is looking back at all the times I had something unpleasant go on, and would tell myself it will all be worth it when you're leading the jog in the juniors or AOs. Well, that never came...
Edited by gracetw22, Oct 3 2009, 11:08 AM.
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