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This weekend last year...
Topic Started: May 16 2009, 04:55 PM (411 Views)
FlashGordon
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I was in NC riding Dan, pretending to decide if we were a match! When really we all knew, all along, that there was no question and no decision to be made! He was meant to be mine.

It seems silly to be sad about it, and yet I am, despite trying to tell myself to get a grip!

Don't get me wrong, I adore Windsor. But I think there were a lot of hope/dreams/etc. wrapped up in Dan and thus losing him was especially hard. He was the first thing that I've ever done soley and selfishly for myself! I'm glad I did it despite the outcome, he was pure joy.

It is weird because I never thought there could be another horse after him... yet Win has been such a welcome presence in my life. I think I hoped he would "plug the hole" but really he has just created his own niche in my heart. Which is great! But as happy as I feel about him, I still feel sadness over Dan.

Really I have no reason to be sad. I have a great husband and a wonderful baby. And a horse that is tough as nails and who has grown attached to me, and who does not know that Dan ever existed....

Anyway guess I just needed to get it out! I think I shall have an early night and then spend the morning at the barn...

WHEW..... SUCK IT UP FG!!! ;)
Edited by FlashGordon, May 16 2009, 04:56 PM.
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TarynJ
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Guiding your way to Candy Mountain, since 1873.
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:hug:
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FlashGordon
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Thanks Ibex!!

I feel like such an attention whore these past 12 months! Thankfully life is good, and quiet, and normal now.... :luck:

I am going to go order a Quillen's halter with Win's name on it. I think that will make me feel better. Retail therapy and all!!!! ;)

And I can't wait for his blingy browband!!! HOORAY! :clap:
Edited by FlashGordon, May 16 2009, 07:15 PM.
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TarynJ
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Retail therapy is ALWAYS good!!

Bling browband is getting shipped to the harness maker this week... I was putting up posters this weekend, and everyone LOVED the Logo!!!
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onthebit
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Flash you have every right to be reflective on this weekend. There has been a lot, both negative and positive, packed into the last twelve months.

I do enjoy some retail therapy myself from time to time, don't we all?? I've been drooling over that browband in Ibex's signature for awhile . . .
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FlashGordon
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OTB, Ibex has made me a beautiful browband with blue and green crystals... I will be sure to post pics when it arrives!! Ibex I am glad the logo has been well received!

And thank you for the support, too. :) Sometimes I feel like I have no right to be sad, but I suppose it is all just part of the grieving process...

Hey OTB I was just thinking... how are your greenies? Have you been able to ride at all? I think of them every time I see your screen name pop up! ;)
Edited by FlashGordon, May 17 2009, 10:01 AM.
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onthebit
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Hey Flash, I have been riding in fits and starts since the first of the year. I told hubby that I was going to have some quality saddle time this year come hell or high water so I started off the new year by getting on a horse. Amazingly we've managed to make some progress. Since they both just turned five I feel like I'm way behind with them just doing W-T-C and sometimes I feel guilty about it. But it isn't like they care. Anyway, after our trailer incident back in August I am just thankful to be able to ride both of them again. Luck has not been on my side the last few years when it comes to riding.

I used to get so defensive when hubby would make the comment that I was "high maintenance." Now I just embrace my high maintenance self as I drool over those browbands and dream about what colors would look great on my girls. You MUST post pictures when you get yours! I do love blingy browbands!
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Trialbyfire
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Aww Flash. You don't need to "get over it" or anything...that wouldn't help. It's much more therapeutic to admit to yourself that you still have a "hole" where Dan was and that Win is great but it's not the same. You don't need to feel guilty about that! I'm not so sure I'm of the mindset that "everything happens for a reason" but I sort of subscribe to the "your path follows the doors that open before you" theory. It was a tragedy that you lost Dan so soon but you have to go on. And in the meantime you found Win, which wasn't a replacement for him, but also a good thing. So who knows what door will open in front of you next...but you know you'll be able to take it on, no matter what!

Big (belated) hugs to you! :hug:
Edited by Trialbyfire, May 18 2009, 07:39 AM.
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SnackPack
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FlashGordon
May 16 2009, 04:55 PM
Really I have no reason to be sad. I have a great husband and a wonderful baby. And a horse that is tough as nails and who has grown attached to me, and who does not know that Dan ever existed....
Just because you have other wonderful things going on in your life doesn't mean you don't have reason to be sad. You had a lot of hopes and dreams tied up in Dan. To lose him so soon after he became yours is heartbreaking. I'm sad for you.

I'm also happy that you gave Win a chance and that he's worked his way into your heart. He doesn't replace Dan, but you're allowing him to leave his mark on you as well. We love each horse in our lives differently. They don't all have to be 'the one' but they all give us something...and you've let Win take the edge off of the Dan sadness. Good for you. :hug: :hug:
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DairyQueen2049
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DRAGON BREATH. DRAGGIN' BUTT
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Awww Flash - :hug: :hug: :hug:

Cherish those GREAT memories. :hug: :yes: :hug: :yes: :hug: :yes:
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MissBri
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But, I don't care - it's 5:00 somewhere
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Just Hugs :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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FlashGordon
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Thanks to all you ladies, I very much appreciate all of your sentiments.

Snacky what you said is so true, they all have something different to offer us. I too am glad I took the leap with Win. We've both been through some hard knocks these last few years, and watching him heal helped me heal, too.....

Anyway thanks again guys. I know I've sounded like a broken record the last 7-8 months. It just hit me so hard.

I'm looking forward to summer, and lots of trail rides with Win. :) I must post some new pics of him soon.
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