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| Cat/Dog Meds; Put on your Depends before reading | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 13 2009, 10:25 AM (203 Views) | |
| MyGiantPony | Jan 13 2009, 10:25 AM Post #1 |
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Is the meadow on fire?
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How To Give A Cat A Pill 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 15 Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. How To Give A Dog A Pill 1. Wrap it in bacon. 2. Toss it in the air. |
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| CDE Driver | Jan 13 2009, 10:53 AM Post #2 |
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It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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| Delia | Jan 13 2009, 11:04 AM Post #3 |
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You're BANNED!
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But in my household, the roles are reversed. Our cat is the easiest beast in the world to give a pill. He practically opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue to receive it. Our hound dog, however, can separate a pill from ANY food item covering it, including peanut butter, and spit the pill out on the floor. It's a two-man job to shove a pill down the little darling's throat. Edited by Delia, Jan 13 2009, 01:12 PM.
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| DairyQueen2049 | Jan 13 2009, 11:04 AM Post #4 |
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DRAGON BREATH. DRAGGIN' BUTT
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WOW But but but his-Ted-ness is sooo good about his pills. I guess I'm bery berry lucky!! |
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| kady05 | Jan 13 2009, 12:14 PM Post #5 |
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You're BANNED!
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That's really funny. I'm so happy I have a pilling technique down that works perfect for all of my kitties!
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| OpticalIllusion | Jan 13 2009, 02:55 PM Post #6 |
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You're BANNED!
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This is how I worm one of ours. She is the nicest sweetest cat till she sees that syringe. Then she is the spawn of Satan. |
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| headlesshorseman | Jan 13 2009, 03:06 PM Post #7 |
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You're BANNED!
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SO TRUE......SO TRUE HH
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| onwego | Jan 13 2009, 03:35 PM Post #8 |
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You're BANNED!
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When Weezie the Devil Cat came home from the shelter she was pretty sick with an upper respiratory infection. One night she wasn't doing well and I had to take her to the ER vet clinic. They told me to give her some children's benadryl. It took a friend of mine (who is a pretty big guy) and me about an hour to only end up with about a cc in her which was not even nearly the amount the vet told us. Weezie only weighed about a pound at this point so she was pretty tiny. We both ended up with blood all over us and vowed never to even attempt it again. I'm pretty sure that at one point we had to remove this little kitten from the ceiling. She also made noises we had never heard and was foaming at the mouth pretty profusely. The foaming was to the point that I called the ER back only to have them laugh and me and tell me that cats do that when they are REALLY pissed. Once we got a drop of the benadryl in her, the foam turned bright red and got tracked all through the apartment making me have to wash the carpet later. http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30189961&l=78fe0&id=114400232 |
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| gunnar | Jan 13 2009, 05:23 PM Post #9 |
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You're BANNED!
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Been there done that. My current three kittons are going to be bad I know it! I do not handle them much so they do not like to be picked up! Pray they are always well!
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| Darwin | Jan 14 2009, 09:14 AM Post #10 |
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Schooling
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hahaha that was so funny I own that cat and funny too I own that dog too!!!!!!
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That's really funny. I'm so happy I have a pilling technique down that works perfect for all of my kitties!
I own that cat and funny too I own that dog too!!!!!!

1:51 AM Jul 11