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What should I do?; I think I have lost my nerve and ...
Topic Started: May 29 2008, 10:27 PM (718 Views)
NZ Loopy Lou
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Thomas H. Cruise!
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I suspect I have a potential star in my stable.

I am currently riding my rising four year old 7/8 TB 1/8 Irish draft colt. We are enjoying hacking out over the farm and doing a bit of dressage over the winter. Because of his age, I am in no real hurry to jump him but his type and his attitude scream eventer to me. He's confident, kind, honest and genuine and best of all, he's an easy ride! He shows good style popping over the odd jump on the lunge and maintains a steady rhythm and seems to find the right spot. Jumping appears effortless to him and he certainly has jumping blood coursing through his veins.

Now I am a very novice rider in her mid thirties. I have been riding for 26 years but have never really done much of note in competition. My riding level is, what I would describe as fairly competent but needs a lot of work. I LOVE this horse. I bred him and there is quite a back story to his life. I am loathe to sell him but I am also aware that he will never ever reach his potential with me in the saddle.

If we were better off financially I would not hesitate to find a top notch professional to ride him and just sit back enjoy being his owner and seeing him do well however, we simply cannot afford to pay a professional to ride him and that is an end to it.

I think about jumping him all the time and get quite excited with the thought but, when I am actually riding him and there are jumps up around the paddock, I almost break into a cold sweat thinking about jumping him. I just don't know what to do!

He's only three and a half so there really is no hurry but I can't help but start thinking about where we are headed and if we really have a future together or if I should be bracing myself for selling him in the next six to twelve months.

To be honest, I don't really even know what the point of this post is - I guess I am trying to verbalise my thoughts in the hope that things might become clearer. I would love to hear from others who have been or who are in similar predicaments.

I cannot begin to describe just how close I am to this horse. I swear we know what each other is thinking when we are together and I have done more with him in the last 8 weeks since he was broken in than I did with my experienced older horse in the last five years (we've been to a dressage competition, done a baby xc clinic, adult riding club, lessons etc. - Prior to Reilly coming home I had been out of the saddle pretty much since I fell pregnant with my daughter 5 years ago).

My closest riding friends are either dressage riders or happy hackers and the only other option I have considered is to offer him to the daughter of an old friend who is one of this country's top young SJ riders (she events too and his sire is both a GP SJ as well as Advanced event horse) but they live the other end of the country and I would never see him :(

Argh, someone smack me upside the head and tell me what to do, please!!!!

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SadiesMom
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Is the meadow on fire?
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Loopy, I just ran across this thread and thought I would chime in with "go with your heart". I had a relationship such as you describe with my "heart horse" KC. When it began, we were green on green and somehow we both survived. We evented at Novice level (2'11" at the time) and he was awesome, but I was older and did not have the nerves of steel that the younger riders do. I sometimes felt guilty that I was holding him back and how he could be so much more with a braver rider, but you know what - HE didn't miss anything. He knew that he was loved and well taken care of and no one hurt him or denied him anything. I'm sure he didn't sit in his stall and pine away because he wasn't going Training and/or Prelim. He was happy and very healthy and we absolutely adored each other.

7 years ago, I moved north and I leased him to a young girl (13-year-old) at my barn. Finally, she talked me into selling him to her and I did. I wish I hadn't, but I was not in a situation to bring him up here and he was coming 20 years old and I didn't think it fair to move him 1000 miles to a totally different climate and routine. He is 24 now and last I heard he had gone to college with his young owner and still competing at the lower levels totally sound.

Anyway, I guess what I want to say is that if you feel the way you feel after 6-8 weeks with this guy, just think what a beautiful long term relationship you could build with this fine boy. And don't worry about the nerves, as you both build trust in each other, the jumps will come.

Good luck!
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Fish Cheeks
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IMHO a horse doesn't know what his potential is and could care less if he lives up to it or not. A horse wants to have his needs met (food, water, shelter, friends), be treated with kindness, and that's probably about it. I wouldn't sell him, especially if your bond is as close as you say. YOU keep him and enjoy him. It sounds like you are quite lucky to have each other! <3
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Melliebay
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It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!
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I agree with Fishy 100%. The horse doesn't care what he does. When they call to you like that, you need to keep them.
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KaliTude
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Thomas H. Cruise!
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Fish Cheeks
Jun 3 2008, 07:34 PM
IMHO a horse doesn't know what his potential is and could care less if he lives up to it or not. A horse wants to have his needs met (food, water, shelter, friends), be treated with kindness, and that's probably about it. I wouldn't sell him, especially if your bond is as close as you say. YOU keep him and enjoy him. It sounds like you are quite lucky to have each other! <3
I agree 100%

Here's my fancy little Hanoverian doing what she loves best, totally wasting all her talent

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heineken
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Off visiting Candy Cave, be right back.
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I was going to say what Fishy already said, the horse won't know that he "wasted" his talent, he'll only know that he's loved and cared for!
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mercury1
Shunnnnn the unbeliever. Shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
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I totally agree.

About the nervousness as far as jumping. Just go over single ground poles for a while, then make sure he goes over trot poles responsibly (without trying to jump them), then set up teeny tiney things he can just step over.

You don't have to actually jump anything to begin his jumping training. I think you may be a bit ahead of yourself which is why you are nervous. Slow down, take baby steps and enjoy the journey.
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NZ Loopy Lou
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Thomas H. Cruise!
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Hey all, thanks for your replies. You are, of course, all quite right - He could not care less, as long as he is loved (which he is, very much!).

He's had a couple of months off due to me hurting my back and awful weather. Hopefully in the next few weeks I will be able to clamber back in the saddle and get back to those baby steps :)

I don't think I mentioned that he is also a bit smaller than ideal for me, standing at about 15.2HH. I am in the process of losing weight, which should help, but have a long way to go (lost about 18kg, want to lose 25-30kg) - Here is a pic of us a couple of months ago.

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Sannois
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NZ Loopy Lou
Aug 8 2008, 11:35 PM
Hey all, thanks for your replies. You are, of course, all quite right - He could not care less, as long as he is loved (which he is, very much!).

He's had a couple of months off due to me hurting my back and awful weather. Hopefully in the next few weeks I will be able to clamber back in the saddle and get back to those baby steps :)

I don't think I mentioned that he is also a bit smaller than ideal for me, standing at about 15.2HH. I am in the process of losing weight, which should help, but have a long way to go (lost about 18kg, want to lose 25-30kg) - Here is a pic of us a couple of months ago.

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I hardly ever come on here but had to chime in. You and your lovely boy fit beautifully. HEs only 4 whats the hurty. take your time, no pressure and find a good confidence building trainer to work with the 2 of you.
No matter what you do enjoy and be happy. If its eventing, great,if its dresage great if its trai riding wonderful.
Take your time and grow together, you two look perfect for each other.!! :cloud9:
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MissBri
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But, I don't care - it's 5:00 somewhere
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Hey Loopy Lou -
I completely agree with Sanny - you two look perfect together!

Perfect! And he will actually fill out a bit more as his body matures.

Honestly, You fit him, and he fits you just fine.

I'm 5'6" and my mare was only 15h - we fit each other just fine.


As far as living up to his potential - guess what? You get to decide just exactly what that is - pasture puff, eventer, camper, pack horse, dressage, gaming, whatever....



good luck, he's gorgeous!
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Ponysized
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I would suggest good lessons with a trainer to help you with your nerves. I went to a lesson last week where my trainer wanted to push my horse's issues and as soon as I got into the ring I thought "I CAN'T do this, I want to get off, and I'm done riding this horse." Trouble is this horse feeds off my nerves.

I stomped that part of me down and focused on my trainer and I'll be damned if I had a good lesson and even jumped a bunch of fences! I did scream in horror at one point when I thought I was coming off and it was horribly grueling but I ended up thinking "I don't suck as bad as I thought, I can do this" I really really listened to her and really really tried as hard as I could, and it turns out I can stick a horse and I really can ride! My trainer never gets on my horse, she seems to value her life (but it isn't JUST that, she knows that I am capable of what she asks and that I can do it). So I don't think you need a pro to ride the horse all the time.

If you take regular lessons your trainer might hop on occasionally and that could be good enough.

I would also suggest alternating rides on a broke to death horse as a confidence builder and on your greenie.
Edited by Ponysized, Aug 30 2008, 02:36 PM.
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NZ Loopy Lou
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Thomas H. Cruise!
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Thanks heaps guys. I hear you on the trainer thing and I really hope to be able to do this. One of my best friends just happens to have ridden at advanced level and has given me a couple of awesome lessons - it's just that neither of us currently have a proper arena or flat/safe area to ride. At the moment I am making do with a paddock that has been bulldozed mostly flat but is still trying to grow some grass. We've had an awfully wet winter so, for the last few weeks, it has resembled a muddy skating rink! I have a trainer who has an all weather but lessons with her are getting quite expensive and we're in a wee bit of a financial hole right now - ok in so much as the horses are not missing out on their care but extras, like lessons and competitions, are real luxuries for the moment.

I am very lucky in that I have a gelding who also qualifies as a schoolmaster. He's so great in fact that he is currently out on lease with a 15 year old pony club rider and has just qualified her for Horse of the Year in both dressage and Show Jumping - I don't have the heart to take him off her at this stage but eventually he will be coming home to once again help me with my confidence.

I just hope that our financial situation does not force my hand as I would hate to ever feel like I had no choice but to sell.

Again, thanks for the feeback and the lovely comments about us 'fitting'. This little guy means the world to me :) As I sit here typing this, I am waiting for his first son or daughter to be born in the foaling paddock outside our bedroom. Hopefully this is another little super star but one who will actually get the opportunity to go out under saddle and achieve all that he/she was born to achieve.
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