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| My First Meeting; AlAnon | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 24 2007, 07:23 AM (300 Views) | |
| DairyQueen2049 | Sep 24 2007, 07:23 AM Post #1 |
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DRAGON BREATH. DRAGGIN' BUTT
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I have been watching my brother go into the bottle again the past month (his girlfriend
gave him the marry me or else ultimatium - wench - NO ONE who does this to you really loves you - and if you have to do this you know HE does not really love you either. A bad co-dependant relationship.) and after he drove off in an unregistered car, no plates, drunk I made a decision.I called my mom, and she called 2 other siblings that both flirt with alcholism. (It's a family disease you know) and we all decided to go to the local AlAnon/Alcholics Annonomous group meeting to see how best we can help. Mr DQ went with the brother (one did not show up, after he said he would ) into the AA meeting, mom, SIL and I went to Al Anon.Bless those people. It was eye opening.I plan to ask mom, SIL & Mr DQ to make a weekly thing of it. And hopefully the one that REALLY needs it will come too.
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| appylady | Sep 24 2007, 08:22 AM Post #2 |
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Schooling
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Good for you! I'm sure it isn't something easy to deal with and commend anybody who can grab it by the horns and do it. Best of luck to you and your family. I hope your brother gets rid of the beyotch who sent him back into the bottle. |
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| Lawndart | Sep 24 2007, 08:22 AM Post #3 |
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Slave to Horses, Beagles, and Kids
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Good luck to all of you DQ. I know its a disease that can destroy whole families, so Kudos to you for being proactive about it. I hope your brother can conquer his demons. |
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| naivealter | Sep 24 2007, 08:54 AM Post #4 |
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Weanling
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DQ -- hugs to you and to your whole family. My Dad drank himself to death last year. This despite the whole shebang -- AA, inpatient treatment programs, both ritzy ones and the not-so-nice ones. Unfortunately for us, nothing helped him, but I do believe that if someone makes the commitment to getting better, the 12 step programs can be fantastic. One of the problems we had was that there were underlying undiagnosed mental problems on my dad's part -- the drinking was bad enough that no one really picked up on the fact that he had apparently developed bi-polar disorder in middle age and had medicated it himself with alcohol for so long that he was dying by the time it was decided by the doctors that was what the problem was. <sigh> Hugs -- it stinks both for the person who has to kick the habit and for those that love them. If I can be any additional help, please don't hesitate to let me know. I've been there and done that in a big way.
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| Buryinghill1 | Sep 24 2007, 08:55 AM Post #5 |
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You're BANNED!
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Good for y'all! A dear friend has been a lifelong member. Her family is a mess. She has created her own healthy, happy life because of AlAnon. I've really admired how she has used what she learned to not be dragged into the cesspool. |
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| SonnysMom | Sep 24 2007, 10:18 AM Post #6 |
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Schooling
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DQ good luck. I hope your brother can get and accept the help he needs. My father tried AA but it was not his cup of tea. What worked for him was in-patient detox and then Antabuse. It is a drug that if you drink alcohol will make you violently ill. For him it also curbs wanting to drink. It is a family disease for him too. Both his parents were alcoholics. Two of his brothers are alcoholics and one of his brothers it was drugs instead of alcohol. Somehow a sister and one brother seem to have escaped the curse. My brother has shown strong alcoholic tendencies and has been diagnosed with OCD and depression. The girlfriend may be a beyotch but IMO by blaming her you are shifting some of the responsiblity for your brother's actions from him to somebody else. It was 100% his decision to react to her ultimatium by drinking. Shifting blame is generally part of an alcoholic's coping strategy. It is never their fault. Best wishes. |
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| mareseatoats | Sep 24 2007, 04:41 PM Post #7 |
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Thomas H. Cruise!
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DQ, that's so courageous of you. I hope your brother decides to come along too. Best wishes for a positive outcome for all of you.
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| Reynard Ridge | Sep 24 2007, 05:16 PM Post #8 |
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Drivin' The Short Bus
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Best of luck to you and your family DQ. Alcoholism is wretched - good for you and your family caring enough to intervene for your brother. |
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| 3Bays | Sep 24 2007, 05:36 PM Post #9 |
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You're BANNED!
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Many hugs, DQ. You are all very brave to do this, and I pray that it is helpful and healing to you all.
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| 2bayboys | Sep 25 2007, 05:11 AM Post #10 |
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Not as bad as you think I am.
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| MissBri | Sep 25 2007, 05:32 AM Post #11 |
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But, I don't care - it's 5:00 somewhere
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Good for you DQ - It is hard and heart wrenching. I will pray that he seeks help, soon. My personality is very co-dependent - I hate confrontation, make excuses for others, and focus on the good ignoring the bad. All sounds nice doesn't it? but it is extremely self destructive when living with a manipulator and substance abuser. Making the decision to stop being a co-dependent was very hard for me. I had to take a very very hard stance and told him to leave, knowing he had no where to go, no vehicle, and no job. One of the HARDEST things I ever had to do. I have since heard that he is in a shelter and is attending a program. Sometimes they really have to hit rock bottom before they say enough and seek out help. Hopefully he can 'right his world', be happy, and start to enjoy life again (but not with me!) God knows, I am trying to right mine after he nearly destroyed it. |
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| varider | Sep 25 2007, 05:46 AM Post #12 |
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Shunnnnn the unbeliever. Shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
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Good for you! Been there, done that. Watched my dad drink himself almost to death before getting help. I had a wonderful chapter of Al-Anon and it really helped through a rough time. Good luck to your whole family. God bless!
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| Circuspony | Sep 25 2007, 01:14 PM Post #13 |
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Thomas H. Cruise!
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Good luck to you and your family, DQ! I hope it helps to know that you're not alone in this.
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gave him the marry me or else ultimatium - wench - NO ONE who does this to you really loves you - and if you have to do this you know HE does not really love you either. A bad co-dependant relationship.) and after he drove off in an unregistered car, no plates, drunk I made a decision.
) into the AA meeting, mom, SIL and I went to Al Anon.
It was eye opening.






12:23 PM Jul 11