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Top 20 Reasons To Spend Valentine's Day ....
Topic Started: Feb 14 2007, 12:14 PM (38 Views)
evil3
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Lake Dwellers
Top 20 Reasons to Spend Valentine's Day With Your Cat Instead of a Man:

1. MUCH better personal hygine--and no wet towels or dirty underwear to pick up.

2. Getting high on catnip does not produce high volume belching, obnoxious laughter, projectile vomiting or repeated drunken requests for weird sex.

3. No problem with that whole "let's just cuddle" thing.

4. Would much rather snuggle on the couch than watch ANY kind of sports, and could not possible care less who has the remote!

5. Scooping the litter box is infinitly preferable to "falling in" at 3:00AM after the seat is left up. AGAIN.

6. Adores you regardless of crappy sweats, no make-up, and hair in rat's nest. Hell, even loves you naked!

7. No objection to "I'm tired, let's just open a can of something tonight." (Providing said can contains tuna, chicken, etc. Peas DO NOT count.)

8. Upon opening your eyes in the morning, and finding yourselves face to face, the cat will merely begin to purr, NOT say "Damn baby, that morning breath is fatal!"

9. Less hair on furniture, NONE in drain!

10. Cat actually looks GOOD wandering around the house with no clothes on.

11. When enthusiastically kissing you, does not abraid your skin with a 2 day growth of beard.

12. You never have to share the chocolate. (the chicken, on the other hand....)

13. No matter what you serve him, the cat may well refuse it. but he will NEVER say, "It's OK, but my Mother's (or ex's) is better."

14. Cat will never remember Valentine's Day, your birthday, your anniversary, etc. either. BUT the cat has an excuse.

15. Cat will never come crashing in at 4:00AM with 6 drunken buddies and request (loudly) that you "just trot your ass out here baby, and make us some nachos."

16. When you're PMSing the cat will merely snuggle closer and purr louder, NOT roll his eyes and refer to you as a "rabid harpy from Hell."

17. Simple as most of them are, no man will ever love you unconditionally for a can of 9-Lives and some paper on a string.

18. The cat actually LOOKS YOU IN THE EYES when you're talking.

19. Cat food and liter boxes don't smell NEARLY as bad as "manly stogies," 3 month old gym shorts or beer farts.

20. No cat in the history of the universe EVER says "Yeah, baby, I know it's late so how's about just a blow job?!?!?!?

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Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.
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The Goddess Alexia
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"Eppur si muove"
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*dies laughing*

OMFG that hilarious, Sem.

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Oh and btw.... You just lost the game!

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evil3
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Lake Dwellers
I thought you might like it.
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Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.
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bakahitoprincess
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Forest Leader
Very nice Sem, very nice.
Jyasuto kidingu!

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Willikins
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Zydrate Junkie
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Wow, that was absolutely hilareous. Loved it.
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Artanis Calonor
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Makes me suddenly happy that I am single and own several cats.
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The Goddess Alexia
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"Eppur si muove"
Tavern Owner
lol I told Erik about the harpie from hell one nad he promised he would only try and make me happy and complement me when I'm PMSing...-_- wonder how long thats gonna last. lol

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Oh and btw.... You just lost the game!

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