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the SSA game ratings thread
Topic Started: Nov 16 2010, 02:46 PM (1,205 Views)
Incandescent
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*is to broke to review things until march* :(
"What game was this, where every player on the board claimed the same pawn?" - Raziel
"The coin is still turning..." -Kain
"Cats are truly all powerful!" - sog

Resident Marquis de Carabas
Father of AC The Harbinger: Tiny, Adorable Predator (rapidly developing into a bitch and a half)


A feeling of compassion warms you...
A feeling of regret envelops you...
A desire to cry wells up within you...
A feeling of anger overcomes you...
A feeling of Emptiness fills your heart...
A destructive force stirs within you...

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DangerousNate
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Incandescent,Feb 16 2011
10:31 PM
*is to broke to review things until march* :(

What about Red Dead Redemption?
"Remember if you are going to do something stupid, at least do it intelligently."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Once a guy fell into a monocle making machine and made a spectacle of himself, while he was on fire.
"God is good, but never dance in a small boat." -Mikey's dad
"The sun shines and the day is beautiful even if there is a big raise in taxes." -Nev
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Incandescent
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i give it a meh out of 10. done. :P

it hold my interest long enough sometimes, but don't really have the drive to grind through it some days. just made it to mexico a few days ago and haven't played since.
"What game was this, where every player on the board claimed the same pawn?" - Raziel
"The coin is still turning..." -Kain
"Cats are truly all powerful!" - sog

Resident Marquis de Carabas
Father of AC The Harbinger: Tiny, Adorable Predator (rapidly developing into a bitch and a half)


A feeling of compassion warms you...
A feeling of regret envelops you...
A desire to cry wells up within you...
A feeling of anger overcomes you...
A feeling of Emptiness fills your heart...
A destructive force stirs within you...

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DangerousNate
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Sometime during the summer I need to take a week from the internet and focus on some of the single player games I have.
"Remember if you are going to do something stupid, at least do it intelligently."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Once a guy fell into a monocle making machine and made a spectacle of himself, while he was on fire.
"God is good, but never dance in a small boat." -Mikey's dad
"The sun shines and the day is beautiful even if there is a big raise in taxes." -Nev
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Dunkum
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DangerousNate,Feb 16 2011
10:29 PM
Red/blue: Agreed.

Yellow: Against Brock pikachu is useless I agree, but if you catch a mankey let it learn low kick and Brock is a breeze. I didn't really have much trouble having pikachu as a starter plus you get all 3 start pokemon, frankly, I really enjoyed this game as much as red and blue. Maybe a little less since its the same game and not too much new was added.

Gold/Silver: I really liked the Fire and Grass starters but I didn't really care for the water one this time.

Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald: No comment, haven't really played it.

Diamond/pearl/black/white: (See ruby/emerald/sapphire)

no, i mean pikachus themselves are worthless. the last few times i played red i would pick charmander, as it more or less corresponds to hard mode, in the beginning anyway. and rather than use a pikachu on misty, id buy the magikarp and use gyarados, because pikachus are worthless.

i liked the water one from G/S better than the others, but none were great. R/B was easily the best
'I have composed the SSA holy Creed' trophy, 'Moley mind reader' trophy, "saved Poppet from a sleepless night" pennant, "Getting Back to the Point" medal, "Certified UN Translator Certificate", 'Well done, Dunkum' Trophy, 'Inspired comedy' Trophy, "Playing the game right" trophy, life-sized Don Quixote bust and membership into the Windmill Enthusiasts club, 'OOOOH! BURN!' Trophy, 'hazardous mutation of Thread-Kinesis', robocup trophy, Diogenes club award for most books read 2010, Diogenes club award for most fiction read 2010, medal for Legendary Ambusher Skill

"Your incestuous murder-child was Hitler AND Stalin"
~SMBC theater
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DangerousNate
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Dunkum,Feb 16 2011
11:07 PM
DangerousNate,Feb 16 2011
10:29 PM
Red/blue:  Agreed.

Yellow: Against Brock pikachu is useless I agree, but if you catch a mankey let it learn low kick and Brock is a breeze.  I didn't really have much trouble having pikachu as a starter plus you get all 3 start pokemon, frankly, I really enjoyed this game as much as red and blue.  Maybe a little less since its the same game and not too much new was added.

Gold/Silver: I really liked the Fire and Grass starters but I didn't really care for the water one this time. 

Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald: No comment, haven't really played it.

Diamond/pearl/black/white: (See ruby/emerald/sapphire)

no, i mean pikachus themselves are worthless. the last few times i played red i would pick charmander, as it more or less corresponds to hard mode, in the beginning anyway. and rather than use a pikachu on misty, id buy the magikarp and use gyarados, because pikachus are worthless.

i liked the water one from G/S better than the others, but none were great. R/B was easily the best

Hmm... You're probably right, their stats aren't very good. Heck, I remember one time, my pikachu being level...18 I think, going up against Misty's Starmie, losing, and my level 10 bulbasaur beat it.

So looking back, I think you're right. Frankly, I would've rather had Eevee as my starting pokemon. Sure, it would've been a really hard road, but I would've liked it.

Odd, I didn't really like the water one from G/S but the other 2 were probably some of my favorites.
"Remember if you are going to do something stupid, at least do it intelligently."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Once a guy fell into a monocle making machine and made a spectacle of himself, while he was on fire.
"God is good, but never dance in a small boat." -Mikey's dad
"The sun shines and the day is beautiful even if there is a big raise in taxes." -Nev
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Dunkum
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DangerousNate,Feb 17 2011
12:11 AM
Dunkum,Feb 16 2011
11:07 PM
DangerousNate,Feb 16 2011
10:29 PM
Red/blue:  Agreed.

Yellow: Against Brock pikachu is useless I agree, but if you catch a mankey let it learn low kick and Brock is a breeze.  I didn't really have much trouble having pikachu as a starter plus you get all 3 start pokemon, frankly, I really enjoyed this game as much as red and blue.  Maybe a little less since its the same game and not too much new was added.

Gold/Silver: I really liked the Fire and Grass starters but I didn't really care for the water one this time. 

Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald: No comment, haven't really played it.

Diamond/pearl/black/white: (See ruby/emerald/sapphire)

no, i mean pikachus themselves are worthless. the last few times i played red i would pick charmander, as it more or less corresponds to hard mode, in the beginning anyway. and rather than use a pikachu on misty, id buy the magikarp and use gyarados, because pikachus are worthless.

i liked the water one from G/S better than the others, but none were great. R/B was easily the best

Hmm... You're probably right, their stats aren't very good. Heck, I remember one time, my pikachu being level...18 I think, going up against Misty's Starmie, losing, and my level 10 bulbasaur beat it.

So looking back, I think you're right. Frankly, I would've rather had Eevee as my starting pokemon. Sure, it would've been a really hard road, but I would've liked it.

Odd, I didn't really like the water one from G/S but the other 2 were probably some of my favorites.

yea, i was the other way, i thought the water one was the best of the lot, but they were all pretty meh. they were ok, i didnt hate em, but noe were especially impressive
'I have composed the SSA holy Creed' trophy, 'Moley mind reader' trophy, "saved Poppet from a sleepless night" pennant, "Getting Back to the Point" medal, "Certified UN Translator Certificate", 'Well done, Dunkum' Trophy, 'Inspired comedy' Trophy, "Playing the game right" trophy, life-sized Don Quixote bust and membership into the Windmill Enthusiasts club, 'OOOOH! BURN!' Trophy, 'hazardous mutation of Thread-Kinesis', robocup trophy, Diogenes club award for most books read 2010, Diogenes club award for most fiction read 2010, medal for Legendary Ambusher Skill

"Your incestuous murder-child was Hitler AND Stalin"
~SMBC theater
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Incandescent
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*would review oblivion if i could stick with one character long enough to complete more than one quest line*
"What game was this, where every player on the board claimed the same pawn?" - Raziel
"The coin is still turning..." -Kain
"Cats are truly all powerful!" - sog

Resident Marquis de Carabas
Father of AC The Harbinger: Tiny, Adorable Predator (rapidly developing into a bitch and a half)


A feeling of compassion warms you...
A feeling of regret envelops you...
A desire to cry wells up within you...
A feeling of anger overcomes you...
A feeling of Emptiness fills your heart...
A destructive force stirs within you...

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Dunkum
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id review something, but the game im playing rigth now, final fantasy 9, i have already reviewed. i suppose i coudl review a different game.

current possibilities include ratchet and clank, diablo 2, phantasy star online, other final fantasy games that havent been reviewed yet
'I have composed the SSA holy Creed' trophy, 'Moley mind reader' trophy, "saved Poppet from a sleepless night" pennant, "Getting Back to the Point" medal, "Certified UN Translator Certificate", 'Well done, Dunkum' Trophy, 'Inspired comedy' Trophy, "Playing the game right" trophy, life-sized Don Quixote bust and membership into the Windmill Enthusiasts club, 'OOOOH! BURN!' Trophy, 'hazardous mutation of Thread-Kinesis', robocup trophy, Diogenes club award for most books read 2010, Diogenes club award for most fiction read 2010, medal for Legendary Ambusher Skill

"Your incestuous murder-child was Hitler AND Stalin"
~SMBC theater
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DangerousNate
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I should probably review starcraft sometime.
"Remember if you are going to do something stupid, at least do it intelligently."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Once a guy fell into a monocle making machine and made a spectacle of himself, while he was on fire.
"God is good, but never dance in a small boat." -Mikey's dad
"The sun shines and the day is beautiful even if there is a big raise in taxes." -Nev
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Incandescent
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rachet and clank is awesome.

if i were to review anything, it'd be between oblivion, morrowind, dead rising, dead rising: case west... and that's about it :P
"What game was this, where every player on the board claimed the same pawn?" - Raziel
"The coin is still turning..." -Kain
"Cats are truly all powerful!" - sog

Resident Marquis de Carabas
Father of AC The Harbinger: Tiny, Adorable Predator (rapidly developing into a bitch and a half)


A feeling of compassion warms you...
A feeling of regret envelops you...
A desire to cry wells up within you...
A feeling of anger overcomes you...
A feeling of Emptiness fills your heart...
A destructive force stirs within you...

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Yev
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Pong

System: Arcade/Atari

Gameplay: Excellent. It's like what tennis will be like in the future/what tennis is like in a universe with one less spacial dimension. Also, the combat system is fantastic and easy to learn. Fairly intuitive, as well. 7/10

Storyline: Two aspiring heroes from a small, mountain village seek to wrest power from a dark wizard who has seized control of the land from a benevolent king. [SPOILER ALERT] One of the heroes, however, is secretly in league with the dark wizard and seeks to sabotage the true hero's progress to save the kingdom. Along the way you also learn that the original king's bloodline is dead and that the next heir to the throne is your main character. Will you be able to defeat your former friend and ally to continue on your quest to return peace to the land? 10/10

Characters: They kept things pretty simple here, only a few characters to speak of. First there's Right. Right is the player character who is trying to defeat the minions of the dark wizard who forcibly took control of the kingdom. Your main adversary is Left who was your childhood friend and initially your ally in the quest but is quickly revealed to be on the side of the wizard. Finally, there's the dark wizard. I haven't seen him in the game yet though. Maybe I just haven't gotten to him. 10/10

Graphics: I'll be honest, they could be better. Right and Left are represented by lines while the ball of energy that they duel with is represented by square. The moat separating Right and Left is represented by a hashed line. I think they could have done better with the graphics. 2/10

Replay: Excellent. The combat system is terrific. 8/10

Total: 37/50
[align=center]"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.
And if the fool, or the pig, is of a different opinion, it is because they only know their own side of the question." ~ John Stuart Mill


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DangerousNate
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:lol:
"Remember if you are going to do something stupid, at least do it intelligently."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Once a guy fell into a monocle making machine and made a spectacle of himself, while he was on fire.
"God is good, but never dance in a small boat." -Mikey's dad
"The sun shines and the day is beautiful even if there is a big raise in taxes." -Nev
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Dunkum
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im listening to some songs from the original tony hawk game for playstation, so its about time for a review, but thisll require some tweaks to my normal method.

Game: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater

System: Playstation

Gameplay: fantastic. Ive never been much of one for skateboarding, but this game was fun, and if i still had it id consider going and playing it right now. you had 4 buttons on the playstation controller, x was jumping, triangle was for grinds, square was baord flips, circle was more advanced tricks, and you did different ones based on which direction you were pressing. the r and l buttons rotated you for even more points. and you had 2 main modes of play: career mode and multiplayer versus, which is all you could really ask of such a game. as you did tricks, youd accumulate special which would let you do special tricks when it filled up. all of this was so successful that they never changed it afterwards. i honestly have no complaints about the gameplay. 10/10

replay value: This game has no plot. in this case thats a good thing, it really shouldnt have a plot, its a skateboarding game, this means that there isnt much to detract from its replayability. 5/5

visuals etc: graphics are fine, nothing to complain about here, and the music is a mix of punk, well, slightly toned down punk, that matches the game very well. they done a good job here. 5/5

so i give the game a 20/20, but only if you actually like this sort of extreme sports game. Basically it is an excellent entry in its genre.
'I have composed the SSA holy Creed' trophy, 'Moley mind reader' trophy, "saved Poppet from a sleepless night" pennant, "Getting Back to the Point" medal, "Certified UN Translator Certificate", 'Well done, Dunkum' Trophy, 'Inspired comedy' Trophy, "Playing the game right" trophy, life-sized Don Quixote bust and membership into the Windmill Enthusiasts club, 'OOOOH! BURN!' Trophy, 'hazardous mutation of Thread-Kinesis', robocup trophy, Diogenes club award for most books read 2010, Diogenes club award for most fiction read 2010, medal for Legendary Ambusher Skill

"Your incestuous murder-child was Hitler AND Stalin"
~SMBC theater
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DangerousNate
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Tony Hawk was pretty fun up until around Underground for me.
"Remember if you are going to do something stupid, at least do it intelligently."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Once a guy fell into a monocle making machine and made a spectacle of himself, while he was on fire.
"God is good, but never dance in a small boat." -Mikey's dad
"The sun shines and the day is beautiful even if there is a big raise in taxes." -Nev
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Yev
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If I remember correctly they're all pretty much the same game except with improved graphics, different music and stages, different pro skaters, and more advanced character creation as the games went on.
[align=center]"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.
And if the fool, or the pig, is of a different opinion, it is because they only know their own side of the question." ~ John Stuart Mill


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Dunkum
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Yev,Apr 25 2011
10:16 PM
If I remember correctly they're all pretty much the same game except with improved graphics, different music and stages, different pro skaters, and more advanced character creation as the games went on.

i think the later ones also included custom made stages, but i only ever had the first one, so im not positive. also, there is a reason i only reviewed the first one
'I have composed the SSA holy Creed' trophy, 'Moley mind reader' trophy, "saved Poppet from a sleepless night" pennant, "Getting Back to the Point" medal, "Certified UN Translator Certificate", 'Well done, Dunkum' Trophy, 'Inspired comedy' Trophy, "Playing the game right" trophy, life-sized Don Quixote bust and membership into the Windmill Enthusiasts club, 'OOOOH! BURN!' Trophy, 'hazardous mutation of Thread-Kinesis', robocup trophy, Diogenes club award for most books read 2010, Diogenes club award for most fiction read 2010, medal for Legendary Ambusher Skill

"Your incestuous murder-child was Hitler AND Stalin"
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Incandescent
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Dark Sector A 3rd person action shooter based around a mutation that allows the main protagonist to produce a glaive from his body and attack foes with it.

Story This game revolves around a spy/espionage agent/undercover something or another individual and his struggle with a strange disease that's plaguing Russia. In the Prologue of the game, you are infected by some nebulous characters through a stab in the arm, which turns your arm into some sort of organo-steel alloy that can produce a glaive and call it back at will. Now every Russian wants to kill you because you are infected and a spy.

Good points
-There's nothing particularly good about the story after the initial build up. I can buy into a sci-fi twist on an action spy story, but some of the places we end up and the flavors of story that pour into your head don't sit well with me.

Bad points
-You are never given a reason to care what he main character thinks besides the fact that he has a cool arm.
-Every villain is comically over the top in regards to their particular tropes and stereotypes.
-Early on you realize that everything has that distinct 'Japanese-ish' flavor to the story (over the top villains that wear ridiculous clothes, wonky themes that you can never latch onto). That particular aesthetic doesn't appeal to me and my personal bias. As a result, it was difficult to pay attention to what most of the people were saying.

overall
All in all, this is a game built not for story, but for awesome action. The character is simply a vehicle for your will to decapitiate and shoot things. Sometimes this can work, but the story takes itself far too seriously for me to be lenient. There's a story there but it is convoluted and annoying to cipher.

verdict: 10/20

Gameplay
Good stuff
This is where it's at in Dark Sector, at least in the beginning. Early on there's a nice progression from the quasi tutorial level prologue leading into the partial transformation. I'll admit to being a bit excited the first time I saw the glaive fly through the air and maim some poor trying to hid behind a crate.

At first your glaive is pretty much a cool looking mostly secondary side tool that uses the same reticule as your main hand weapon (if it is a handgun, you can't wield the glaive with a two handed primary weapon). It progresses with quick enough pace and gains several increasingly more awesome powers as you hit mostly arbitrary story markers or whatever useless obstacles the developers thought it would be neat to put in to make your powers seem more useful.

Once you get the hand of wielding both a handgun and the glaive at the same time within the framework of the game's cover based mechanics, you'll start to see some beautiful combos fly up as you whirl the blade around the corner the decapitate two foes using a power that lets you alter the flight path, then sawed-off-shotgunning a close enemy in the face while the glaive returns. [note: i never used a two handed weapon because why would you buy a weapon that prevents you from using your glaive when you switch to it?] I never felt that the controls go in the way of anything and there was some clever multiuses of the same button. The only problems i ran into were 'sticky walls' since the sprinting button also governed the hiding behind walls reflex.

Bad stuff
The entire middle of the game is one long fucking endless horde of faceless hazard suit wearing Russians. (and once a story event happens, generic infected that get reskinned late in the game and use the same animations). Once you get decent with the glaive, it becomes a thankless sluggish RPGesque grind through all these various strains of bastard. The intelligent enemies hide behind the convenient cover sprinkled around ever battlefield and array themselves in the most annoying spots. You'll spend most of your time during these zerg rushes hiding behind the same piece of cover for fear of eating sixty machine guns rounds to the face, two shotgun blasts, and whatever else the enemies can throw at you in unison. Then, you'll poke your head up to fling your glaive (and pilot it around in slow mo once you get the power) and head shot one foe at a time
while they stupidly whack-a-mole up and down taking their pot shots. It became so tedious during some fights that i eventually learned to decapitate enemies without the slow mo trick using the odd circular reticule just to shave off more time.

And oh god will you want some things to just end! But the game has a terrible and sadistic habit of throwing you into combat and puzzle situations where here are respawning enemies that continually flood out from somewhere. You'll just keep hammering away at the swarm because you'll get no goddamn indication that there's some sort of puzzle going on in the back ground. And once you realize that some fights are puzzle combats, then you'll start believing that all of them are and will start dodging enemies looking for the turn off valve only to realize that this one is a fixed combat. and it will still take forever because there are that many fucking enemies most of the time!

Speaking on time, fuck every boss battle in the game. Every boss fight has some stupid quirk that needs to be worked out before you can actually kill the boss. Some are more evident than others and some are concealed by the boss reacting to being hit despite not taking the 'special damage type' or the 'proper trick shot' and fooling you into thinking the battle is progressing when it's not. So you'll go through their 5 minute long attack routine six or seven times before it hits you that the son of a bitch should be down by now because you've struck his face with a glaive 278 times and he flinched on each hit. I still don't know how I killed one boss. I just kept going through the motions and he fell down for no reason.

The bosses may be time sinks, but the puzzles in this game annoy the piss out of me even more. One in particular springs to mind: a fire puzzle. Late in the game, there s this material that covers doors and can only be burned away, your glaive has elemental properties for a short time when it passes through fire or electricity and so you just have to make sure a flame source is reasonably close. In a respawning enemies scenario, I had to trek all the way to the back of a graveyard to find the initial fire thing and set the trail from there so I could burn the goo off of a door. During the final stretch of this puzzle, there's simply not enough time to make it between this post and the next one. But, whenever you try, you're only off by half an inch. So you try and try and curse at every infected thing that grabs you and curses you to retry and get pissed when the main character runs out of breath. Then, by happenstance, you see a post between these two, but it is off the FUCKing trail on top of a mausoleum. how are you supposed to see that while being chased by zombies and worried out your damn fire? [There are many more places where bad level design strikes]

overall
The gameplay is dampened by the repetetive anture of every fight. I understand that I'm the guy with the glaive arm, but does every fight have to be an entrenched battle between thousands of enemy troops. [with just enough annoying special units thrown int?]

verdict: 30/40

Quality
The game seems very polished for an early xbox title, but sometimes things do have that greasy-shiny look that everything had back in the early days of the next gen consoles. The cutscenes are very nice looking except when a characters face gets in there and the mouth starts moving, then things get ugly.

The level design is lacking however, leading to confusing GAME HALTING stops as a player who's speeding right along suddenly realizes they are in a puzzle situation after searching every nook and cranny looking for the next place to cut some heads.

The puzzles are designed with almost no concern for the player and his or her non clairvoyance. I got the sense that they designed the puzzles, then tested them right after and okayed them because 'hey, we found it, so can they'. Or maybe i'm just that unaware (which is entirely possible).

verdict: 13/20

Replay Value
There is a multiplayer component to this, but I believe it is radically different from the single player campaign. So the replay value is judged on the campaign's shaky legs. i imagine once you know where to go and how to beat bosses after your first play through, you'll come back to it to try and make a better sense of the story and show off your newly tempered glaive skills to the low level baddies. I know I honestly had fun with the novelty of an organic blade that would automatically return to the thrower's hand.

verdict: 10/20

Price modifier

I bought this game for about 3-4 dollars, so it garners a +10 to the score due to the price making it more accessible even if it's not up to par with standard games.

over all score according to Inca's bargain bin review: 73
"What game was this, where every player on the board claimed the same pawn?" - Raziel
"The coin is still turning..." -Kain
"Cats are truly all powerful!" - sog

Resident Marquis de Carabas
Father of AC The Harbinger: Tiny, Adorable Predator (rapidly developing into a bitch and a half)


A feeling of compassion warms you...
A feeling of regret envelops you...
A desire to cry wells up within you...
A feeling of anger overcomes you...
A feeling of Emptiness fills your heart...
A destructive force stirs within you...

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DangerousNate
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I did wonder how that game was, when I saw it on game informer, a long time ago.
"Remember if you are going to do something stupid, at least do it intelligently."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Once a guy fell into a monocle making machine and made a spectacle of himself, while he was on fire.
"God is good, but never dance in a small boat." -Mikey's dad
"The sun shines and the day is beautiful even if there is a big raise in taxes." -Nev
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DangerousNate,May 11 2011
09:31 AM
I did wonder how that game was, when I saw it on game informer, a long time ago.

it's pretty nifty. awesome when it wants to be and dull and repetitive the rest of the time. It's true value to anyone is subjective, but for me it falls in the C to B range due to a combinations of its price and the fun chunks.

Vampire Rain, on the other hand, is nigh unplayable. I'll need a cohort to help finish that one out. But, it should make for a much more vitriolic review :P

I think next up i'll be reviewing Perfect Dark Zero.
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