| FUCK THE JAPANESE | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 9 2013, 02:40 AM (268 Views) | |
| $uper$noopz | Mar 9 2013, 02:40 AM Post #1 |
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The #1 Cunt
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The frigid, unforgiving winds of Winter are beginning to die down with the coming omen of Spring. The frozen, ravaged tundra known as Ohio is beginning to melt, revealing the emerald blades of grass below. The riveting rays of sunshine beat down upon the slush, coordinating beautifully with the ferocious winds of change. The camera turns just slightly to the side, showing the facade of a small building, red and black lettering shining brilliantly.![]() "WHAT IN ALL OF THE FUCKS DO YOU MEAN THE NEW POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEON GAMES AREN'T OUT YET?!" The camera quickly withdraws into the store itself, showing an individual standing at the counter, wearing vibrant sunglasses. The man shouting has the manager of the store pulled over the table by his collar. "WHY THE FUCK DO THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS OVER IN JAPAN HAVE THE FUCKING GAME ALREADY, AND I DON'T? RIDDLE ME THAT, FUCKFACE!" "Um, well... the games are produced by Japanese developers, so they usually release there fir-" The terrified store manager is cut off by the man, whom sports a "BALLIN'!" shirt (which has the emblem of a Voltorb on it). "I DON'T GIVE A DEAD MOOSE'S LAST SHIT WHO MADE IT! I NEED POKEMON! NOW! MAKE IT HAPPEN OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!" "Well, um... we do have the previous Mystery Dungeon games for $19.99 pre-own-" "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" This is the guttural war cry that emits from the throat of the enraged customer, who rips the man over the counter and slams him into a cardboard Killzone 3 cut-out. The bigger man begin to rip displays apart and topple them over on top of the poor manager. "YOU'RE MORE USELESS THAN PLAYSTATION MOVE!" After beating the manager within an inch of being forced to play Dance Dance Revolution with a wheelchair-enabled mat, the man relinquishes his fierce assault and begin to exit the store, clearly satisfied by the level of carnage he'd inflicted upon the store and its manager. He walks to the parking lot and turns towards the camera. "Hi, PDW. My name is Joey Miles. I've just been signed to your company. As you can see, I've got quite the temper. I actually knew the new Mystery Dungeon games have yet to be released. I just felt like beating someone up. But still, fuck the Japanese for keeping that game from us until later this month. Now, I don't know who I'm going to face in my debut match. I don't know if it'll be a guy or a girl, good or shit, a human being or Ryan Hall. What I do know is that I'm Joseph cunting Miles. I will take on all comers and probably get my ass beat, because I fucking suck. However, I can take a beating and I'm training. So one of these days, expect me to kick some major fucking ass. Until then, I'll rely on luck and my charming good looks to get by. Thank you for your time. And remember, black people like KFC. Good day." Joey turns around and opens the door of his pitch black Cadillac Escalade. He starts the car and drives off as the scene fades to black. |
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10:48 AM Jul 11