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The Talk; w/ Synn
Topic Started: Feb 23 2007, 11:40 PM (229 Views)
Synn
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Synn doesn't react. No anger, nothing. He looks at Sean and sighs.

"Let me finish, please, before once again redirecting the topic to yourself? And for the record, I did try to ask you about your past. Remember? You shut yourself up. It's hard to dig into someone's personal history when they choose not to share it."

Synn absent-mindedly, perhaps having forgotten Sean took his smokes, begins to rifle thru his pockets.

"Anyway, you've seen the scars I had on my inner thigh and the small of my back. That's what my mother and father referred to as scouyrging, to punish me, or purify me as they would say, forwhatever wrong I commited in their eyes to God or the teachings. They'd lock me in a basement with no lights for hours on end, knowing I was scared of the dark. Terrified actually."

Synn looks down and closes his eyes.

"I guess by my using a night light you'd notice to a degree, it's still not something I am terribly comfortable with. I was taught at home, never allowed to do anything at a public school for their fear I'd be contaminated by the heathen kids. One day their beatings became too much and, I fought back. Hit my mom back, and knocked my dad down the basement steps before he could send me down them himself. What did I do?"

Synn looked into Sean's eyes.

"I ran. The cops were called on me for being a run-a-way but I met some people, college kids, I trusted and hid out at their place. Thought I could trust them."

Synn nods.

"That was my own damn mistake. They drugged me one night and I woke up tied to a bed and gagged. One was on top of me with his friends watching, another had a camera, taping everything."

Synn fits his shades back on over his eyes, to shield the misty look from Sean, hiding a sign of his own personal weakness.

"Gang raped. Thirteen men, and four women. All in one night, and the video still out there, somewhere."
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Nightmare
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Sean stands there with a shocked look on his face, part of him wants to comfort Synn while the other part just wants to walk away and leave him alone. Sean reaches in his pocket and pulls out a cigarette and hands it to Synn.

Sean: Maybe you do need this.

Sean pulls a cigarette out himself and lights it, he takes one puff and stares into Synn's eyes.

Sean: I'm sorry that happen to you, I wasn't aware but you have to understand that you can't let your past ruin your future. You need to open yourself up and learn to trust, stop holding your feelings inside, because in the end that will only make things worst.

Sean sighs.

Sean: I never told you why I never liked my mother, and I doubt she told you. I should of informed you a while back before you paid for her medical expenses, because after I tell you this then you would of agreed to let her suffer and take care of her own problems.

Sean grabs Synn's arm, something he hasn't done in a while and pulls him a little closer scared that there might be other people around listening.

Sean: My mother was a huge drug addict back in the day, I think I was only fourteen years old or maybe younger when this happened. I was at home, she was high of course and she was acting all crazy but I was use to it, I didn't let it bother me. Two guys showed up at my house, threatening to hurt me and her if she didn't pay up or give back the drugs which she didn't have, instead of taking either, she decided to give them me and next thing I know, I was lying across the bed while two men were raping me, all i could feel was pain and I wanted to die that very second. She stood there watching and crying as I cried out in pain, but in the end she got what she wanted and me, I laid there in the bed, blood every where and she didn't care, she let me lay there until it was time for her to leave.

Tears begin to form in Sean's eyes.

Sean: She told me to clean myself up, SHE NEVER APOLOGIZED until now and you think she deserves another chance with me SYNN...FUCK NO!!...I CAN'T STAND THAT BITCH...and that's why I think I am the way that I am because of her!
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Synn
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Synn gratefully takes the cigarette and lights it up. Taking a drag, he looks away so as not to blow the smoke in Sean's direction and exhales. He turns to look Sean in the face and tries to force the smile.

"I'm sorry Sean, had I known...I never would have tried to help the two of you piece things together if that is honestly how you feel."

Synn removes his glasses and Sean can see his green eyes are worn and bloodshot from holding the tears inside, and the bags under his eyes indicate just how tired he is.

"But you are right. I do need to trust and open up. I thought I did, but obviously not enough."

He looks Sean in the eyes.

"I did love you Sean. Still do. Very much so."

Synn looks down and throws the cigarette down and stamps it out with his foot.

"But I guess I fucked that up too."
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Nightmare
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Sean backs away from Synn shocked after what he just heard, he looks down at the ground.

Sean: Why are you just now telling me this?

Before Synn could answer, Sean sticks his hand up in the air and cuts him off.

Sean: You know what, if you would of told me sooner then I guess things would of been better, but you are not the reason why we are not together anymore. I am the reason why we are not together, because of my fucking problems, my fucking partying and drinking habits, and now drugs. I'm falling apart Synn, and I don't know what to do.

Sean falls into Synn's arm and cries out
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Synn
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"I know what you do."

Synn wraps his arms around Sean and holds him tight and secure, giving the younger man exactly what he needs right now -- a simple hug. He stands there and lets Sean's tears continue, feeling the need for release inside of him. After a short time has passed, keeping his arms around him, Synn whispers into his ear.

"You just told me love, that you cannot let the past ruin your future. You need to learn to trust. That same bit of advice goes for you as well. All of this time you thought of myself, Mercedes and your own sister as trying to control you, when in actuality we were trying to help you through those very problems you just mentioned."

Synn releases his hold on Sean and cups his hands on the sides of Sean's face and gazes deeply into his eyes, that same disarming, piercing stare Synn was known for.

"So yes, you need to trust Sean. Trust that your friends, those that care about you, that love you, will stand at your side to help you."
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Nightmare
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Sean looks up and smiles at Synn, it has been a long time Sean has felt the comfort and love that he needed for so long.

Sean: It's hard for me to trust after everything I have been through, it seems like everyone has let me down especially people in my family. I am trying hard to get better, bu I feel like the poison well the alcohol is what is keeping me from getting better.

Sean takes a deep breath and then exhales.

Sean: I feel like I just want to kill myself some days, or just not walk on this earth period. I'm alone, but I can be strong and I see myself getting better, hopefully.

Sean pulls his t-shirt up to wipe his face, his eyes are red and puffy from all the crying, he felt embarrassed because he knew that he didn't want to look weak, especially in front of Synn.

Sean: But enough about me, what about you? How have you been? Stranger? [Sean laughs]
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Synn
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"How have I been?"

Synn reaches down and picks back up the cigarette butt from the ground and proceeds to light it back up. This action tells subtly just how bad of a chain smoker Synn is to Sean, although perhaps he never noticed it before.

"I can't say as everything has been...adequate. I've mostly just been sitting back and watching, like usual. I suppose it's come as no surprise to you that I stepped down from my PDW contract."

Synn takes a drag on the cigarette and exhales slowly.
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Nightmare
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Sean steps back and looks at Synn with a disguisted look on his face

Sean: That was one thing I always hated about you, picking cigarettes up from the ground and smoking them. I think you need to go to rehab, but then again I don't know if they have a program for chain smokers.

Sean smiles as he playfully hits Synn on his arm.

Sean: This reminds me of when we first got together, after that it kind of went down hill but I am not here to talk about the negative and you know we've been standing out here for the longest, I think we should go back to my place and continue to talk, and you can also see my new place.

Sean grabs Synn's hand and pulls him over to the 2007 Black Tahoe, a car Synn has not rode in, in such a long time. Sean starts the car up and pulls off heading down the street while the sounds of Christina Milian plays in the background.
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Synn
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Synn rolls his eyes and throws the cigarette out the window before the car peels out of it's parking space ...

"I'm sure there's such a thing as rehab for chain smokers but what good would it do? I'd probably just end up looking for a new vice. It's been near fifteen years of smoking Sean, can you imagine me trying to stop now?"

Synn shifts uncomfortably in his seat with his insanely long legs.

"For such a large vehicle you'd think there'd be more room."
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Nightmare
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Sean laughs.

Sean: Don't talk about my baby, Mercedes bought this for me for my birthday and I love this car, so if you have a problem with it, yell at her. I know you have her number on speed dial. And if you really wanted to stop smoking, then you could do it, never say you can't. I hate the word NEVER, but then again I should take my own advice!

Sean reaches over Synn's leg, almost touching around his private area, Sean moves his hand back and starts to blush.

Sean: Sorry, I was just trying to umm..yeah..get in the glove department to get a cd.
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Synn
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Synn looks down to where Sean almost touched him, and then back up at Sean. He cast that wicked little pearly-white smile that could melt the polar ice caps.

"Sean, I know I said the seat is small but the glove compartment is nowhere near my...."

He arches an eyebrow that just further intensifies Sean's blushing.
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Nightmare
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Sean continues driving trying to ignore Synn's comment, he was blushing and a little embarrassed, it was cute but then funny at the same time.

Sean: I wasn't trying to touch you there Synn, I was actually trying to grab a cd out of the glove department and, you know what nevermind. [Sean giggles]

Sean continues to drive for a couple seconds before reaching a stop light, he unbuckles his seat belt and leans over to Synn and pulls on the glove department, it opens and a empty bottle of Grey Goose falls to the floor, Sean sighs hoping that Synn didn't notice it.

Sean: Damnit!

BEEP..BEEP

The light has been green for a couple seconds now, and Sean quickly sits back in his seat and notices behind him is a cop who suddenly turns on his flashing lights.

Sean: SHIT! My fucking License is suspended, and I have empty bottle in my car!
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Synn
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Synn turns his head slowly anf frowns.

"You're driving with a suspended liscence? What...wait, why is your liscence suspended?"

Synn frowns and looks deeper until Sean starts fidgeting.

"You got a fucking DUI, didn't you?"

Synn gives Sean a hard slap upside the head! Fuming, Synn looks in the rearview mirror at the advancing officer and a smile crosses his face.

"Well well well, as luck would have it."

The police officer motions for Sean to roll down the window, which he does.

The cop says,"Sir may I see your liscence and..."

Synn leans over and smirks at the cop.

"Hello Alasdair, small world, isn't it?"

The cop blanches and takes a startled step back.

"Oh...hi!"

"How long's it been?" Synn asks. "Five years since that bath house?"

"Er..."

"How is your wife after all? Is she still on the force with you?"

Synn just smiles seductively at the cop and Sean just caught somewhere in the middle, sweating this out.

"Look, er..."

"Synn, remember? Of course it was hard for us to discuss names with those ball gags in our mouths at the time."

Sean's eyes open wide at that one.

"Hey man...I was just...I needed to...forget it." The cop looks at Sean. "Be more careful next time, okay pal?"

Sean says nothing, but just nods. The cop gives a wave and walks back to his car. Synn looks over at Sean and growls.

"Move over. I'm driving."

Sean asks as they switch seats. "So...who was he?"

Synn says,"How would I know?"
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Nightmare
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Sean starts laughing hysterically after what just went down, he turns and plants a kiss on Synn's cheek.

Sean: Thanks Synn, I really appreciate that.

Sean knew he still had feelings for Synn, but he didn't know if he wanted to get in a relationship again with Synn, but he wasn't worried about that. He was just having a good time with a person that made him feel happy, feel so good. After about a couple of minutes of silence, it hit Sean, what the hell was a bath house?

Sean: Wait Ball Gags? Bath house? I'm confused. What the hell is that? Damn it sounds kinky, and knowing you it has to be.

Sean laughs as he sits back and watches Synn driving his car.
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Synn
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Synn turns the corner and answers Sean's most curious questions.

"A bath house is basically just what the name implies. It's like an open room hotel for a more -- free spirited sexual encounter. Open rooms, public displays, rarely clothes are allowed at all...fun stuff."

Synn turns and grins wickedly at him.

"Remind me to take you to one sometime."

He pulls up to a red light and answers the second part.

"Oh, and a ball gag? A little S&M play. A rubber ball attached to a belt that you put in your partner's mouth to keep them from -- objecting to anything you might be into. Basic bondage fun."
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