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Sir Brendan's Unicorn Story
Topic Started: Jun 20 2012, 11:53 AM (142 Views)
SirBrendan
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Penalty Killer
So I'm off to get married this Friday :D But, while waiting for my new mother-in-law to arrive I figured I'd write up a quick short story. So here it is, the significantly less dark promised unicorn story. Hope you guy enjoy.

To Be A.....

Part I
Farm life is....well, there arenít many adjectives in the English language to describe how nothing farm life is. Milk the cow, sow the field, breed the sow, and till the wheel; sweat too much, drink too little, speak of nothing, then sleep a while. I feel like a big pile of swallowed Jello: hard to find the point. There is brief reprieve though, beyond these hillbilly pastures.

Every day, in between chasing away crows and being scolded by Father for laziness, I sneak away to my own secret corner of the barn house, high above in the scaffolding, hidden by the bales of hay. In that little conclave Iíve stashed away all the bubblegum Iíve ever collected, and the books Iíve managed to steal away from visiting relatives. Itís not anything special, I know, but itís mine and mine alone. In that cubby, I am King. Iím no farmerís son; Iím a knight who rescues damsels and the bandit who robs the rich and gives to the poor farmers.

Iíve a favourite fantasy though, stowed away in a book older than I am. Iíve never told anyone, but I want to be a unicorn, like Sir Figgybutt in the ĎRainbowed Journeys of Snipple Snazzleí. Sir Figgybutt never has to worry about girls or the funny feelings they cause. He never worries about the future or how best to prepare himself for it. He never has to do his chores or answer to anyone for that matter. He just roams the land, majestic, noble, and pure. For as long as I can remember now, when I fall asleep I dream of galloping the green pastures of Snipple Snazzle, dodging in between the rushing wibbledywomps.

Today is different though. Late last evening, while salving the hooves of my favourite stallion, I swore he whispered to me. I was tired to the point of delusion, and the sweat in my eyes had rendered me near blind, but I swear it happened. He told me Iíd always been good to him, and that it hurt him to see me so unhappy. He told me the land of Snipple Snazzle was real, and that a passage there existed underneath the old willow tree, if only I believed I belonged there. He told me if I went though, thereíd be no coming back, so I had to promise him that I would sleep on it before going.

Well Iíve slept on it. I slept on my straw bed in my corncob existence. I slept in this ho-dung bottom barreled trap Iíve called home for too long. Now, now Iím looking at the rainbow portal and I know not only will I be a unicorn soon, but that Iíve always been a unicornóIíve always been Sir Patchfoot.

Part II
Itís been a year since I came to Snipple Snazzle. Unicorn life is... well there arenít enough adjectives in the Auld Tongue to describe how nothing unicorn life is. Kick the stead, head the road, butt your head, and stomp on toads; sweat too much, drink too little, neigh of nothing, then sleep a while. I feel like a big pile of swallowed gobbledygoop: hard to find a point. There is a brief reprieve though, beyond these rainbowed pastures...
Ruler of the Republic of Nabat
Perennial misuser of the word perennial
Lord over all that is awesome
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Matilda Love
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Minister
Congratulations!

Thank you again for your stories, I'd take Sir Brendan on all our campaigns :D
Keep our feet on the ground and our spirits up as we search for that elusive grail.
Like any wonderful story teller!
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Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.
Erica Jong

Fine art is that in which the hand, the head, and the heart go together.
ParrrrTay
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Almonaster
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Homophonophile
Minister
:lol: Nice twist in the tail.
It is very hard to find properly cited quotes on the internet.
~Abraham Lincoln

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I'm in ur detailz likin' ur sinz. :evil:
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Jack Tarr
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Chief Twanger Plunker
Thanks for not scaring me and best of luck on your upcoming nuptuals. :D
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