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The history of Disposablepuppetland
Topic Started: Jan 29 2009, 05:14 AM (877 Views)
disposablepuppetland
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[Originally posted in England, June 2005]

Disposablepuppetland

The Disputed Territories of Disposablepuppetland was originally created by another nation in order to increase their vote in the UN. Mentioning that nation by name is considered to be highly offensive in Disposablepuppetland and it is only referred to as the Old Land. The original population of Disposablepuppetland was created by cloning two citizens of the Old Land 5000 times and then releasing the clones onto an uninhabited island. The ownership of this island was under doubt, hence the original name of the nation being The Disputed Territories of Disposablepuppetland. The clones flourished in their new land and a simple democratic government was installed by the Old Land. Free elections were organised, but the media and police force were simply extensions of Old Land institutions.
A clone named Barry Generic was installed as interim president and was subsequently elected to office unopposed. Voter turn-out was 11%. The country began a sustained period of steady growth under the guidance of the Old Land and Generic was re-elected unopposed a further thirteen times before his death three years ago. Voter turn-out gradually fell to 6% over this period. Generic had shown little interest in the nation state during his time in office and his only political actions had been to vote in accordance with the Old Land in UN matters.

After Generic's death an election was planned but immediately postponed due to a lack of candidates. After six months of waiting a man named General Vershner was persuaded to put his name forward and was subsequently elected unopposed. (General is not a military title but a common first name in Disposablepuppetland). Vershner soon developed an interest in politics and began implementing a series of reforms including the formation of a volunteer police force and the building of Disposablepuppetland's first publicly funded school. These reforms required money though, so Vershner began printing it, creating a new currency in the process.
The media, still under control of the Old Land, were unimpressed. Weekly newspaper The Conformist described Vershner as "A dangerous non-conformist" and tabloid paper The Hysteria On Sunday likened the markets to a family of Fiends, naming the new currency "clearly the runt of the litter." - a name which stuck. (The Fiend is Disposablepuppetland's national animal and are renowned for their ferocious appetite. During their growing months smaller Fiends are frequently eaten by their larger siblings)
Public opinion of these events was, as ever, non-existent. A poll run at the time showed fewer than 10% could even spell Vershner. This began to change however, as popular TV chat-show Prolevision began a campaign to discredit Vershner and find another candidate to run for President in the next election, due in just under a years time.
Vershner attempted to counter this attack by mocking the grammar and pronunciation of the shows host but no paper would publish his comments. Popular daily tabloid The Mob went one step further with an editorial entitled "Vershner Demands Censorship of Politicians".

Realising that there was no outlet for his campaign, Vershner decided that a different strategy was needed if Disposablepuppetland was ever going to achieve real change. Over the next three months he supervised the construction of a new television station, using the new police force to seize the necessary buildings and equipment.
On the 5th May (St Guile's Day - patron saint of the family) Disposablepuppetland's first native television station, Channel Zero, made its debut broadcast. There was now a total of six TV channels available across Disposablepuppetland. These consisted of the three public broadcasts from the Old Land, Channel One, Two and Three. Two commercial channels, IIS and FTP, and The Truth, a long range broadcast from The 0wnership of Self Emptying Dog.

Channel Zero initially offered only five programmes. Hourly news service, Newz0r, would deliver Vershner approved updates for the first 20 minutes of each hour, followed by one of four other shows. 0wnage - a programme about buying and decorating property. B0rked - renovating derelict property. S0ld - selling property at auction, and The 0utsiders - a programme for keen gardeners.
Viewing figures were initially low as the station struggled with a tiny budget and fierce competition from the established channels. The print media continually mocked the channels efforts, The Mob described the schedule as "fascist", and fashion magazine Clamour ran a weekly section highlighting colour clashes in presenters outfits.
New programmes were gradually introduced but viewing figures rose only slowly. This all changed, however, with the first airing of a new sit-com penned by Vershner himself, called Pretension.
Pretension starred a group of four attractive but bland twenty-somethings who share a massive lounge. Each episode one of the four would find themselves in a socially awkward situation and the group would create an increasingly tenuous web of lies and deception to avoid confronting that situation. At the end they would face up to the truth and discuss the important moral lessons that have been learnt.
The show was a huge success and viewing figures for the whole channel jumped from a lowly 5% to over 20%, overtaking Channel 3. Vershner used this wave of publicity to announce that he would call a general election, as expected, on the 4th of December that year (St Zangief's Day - patron saint of dancing). The very next day Prolevision announced they had found a candidate to stand against Vershner. His name was Harold Vishni.

Vishni began his campaign with a media barrage of adverts and posters, all baring the campaign slogan "Vote Vishni - My greatness is unsurpassed!". All the major papers and TV stations gave full coverage of his speeches. Vershner responded by releasing his manifesto, within which he laid out his plans to free Disposablepuppetland from oppression by abolishing democracy and imposing a dictatorship. He also made several pledges, including legalising gambling, removing regulation on business, and the promise that Disposablepuppetland would win the next World Cup. This was backed up by a large poster campaign proclaiming "Vote Vershner and you'll never have to vote again!".
Vishni's media campaign was unstoppable though and opinion polls soon showed a 60-70% swing against Vershner. Vishni's crowning moment was challenging Vershner to a live debate. Vershner immediately accepted the challenge, but the papers printed that he had refused and the event was cancelled, to widespread jeering in the media. The Mob leading with the headline "0WNED!!!1".
Vershner knew if he were to stand any chance of victory a different approach would be needed. He realised that the Disposablepuppetland public still had very little interest in politics, and, although the polls predicted a win for Vishni, they also predicted only a 11-12% turnout. He knew that the government employees, police, and Channel Zero staff would vote for him no matter what, and they made up around 4% of the population. If he could lower the turnout to 8%, then he would have a chance.
Vershner immediately ceased all campaigning and focused instead on enlargening the government, appointing ministers for sport, gardening, and philosophy. He also appointed mayors to oversee the running of Disposablepuppetland's four largest cities. Car salesman Bob Speaks became mayor of Disposablepuppetland's capital, Raspberry Fields, and immediately gave his full support to the president, describing him as a "jolly decent old hamburger".
Vershner's next move was to arrange a series of distractions leading up to voting day. A football tournament was organised and top clubs from around the region were invited to compete against the best of the local league teams. The final, played on voting day, was won by .303 Tortoise, a local team based in Raspberry Fields and named after a traditional Disposablepuppetland beverage. They controversially beat Rushy Mead, from The 0wnership of Self Emptying Dog, 6-5, but only after three players were sent off for persistent foul play.
A 12 hour marathon of Pretension was scheduled for the day before voting, finishing, at 2am, with a nail-biting finale where Maryanne has to decide whether to stay with fiancee Huey, or hit the road for a life of adventure with freelance fireman Greg, who is secretly in love with Maryanne's dog, Max.
Vershner's master-stroke, though, was to begin a huge program of roadworks throughout the capital and many of the larger cities, closing roads and sectioning off whole areas. When questioned about the timing of the repairs he responded "Well... you've got to build roads. People should ride a bicycle, like I do".

As polling day approached, the media became increasingly agitated, Chastity Bandstand, presenter of popular talk show Chastity, deploring Vershner to "Stop camping". They embarked on a frantic last day of ever more fanciful outbursts, culminating in The Mob's outrageous claim "Vershner pronounced dead and also Nazi!!!". The 4th December began peacefully and remained peaceful as voters stayed at home in their thousands. As the polling stations closed and votes began to be counted it was clear that the turnout was low, and exit polls showed the two candidates running neck and neck with no obvious winner.
At 3am on the 5th, Felicity Damage, returning officer for the nation announced that, with a turnout of just over 9%, Vershner had been re-elected president of Disposablepuppetland with 41% of the popular vote. Vishni received 39%, with 3% spoiled papers, and 17% still voting for Barry Generic.

The next morning at 9am President Vershner addressed the nation:

"People of Disposablepuppetland, yesterday you gave me a mandate for change, and I have responded to that mandate. Earlier today I spoke with the leaders of our neighbouring lands and all have agreed to recognise Disposablepuppetland as a sovereign nation. I hereby announce our severing of diplomatic ties with the Old Land, our withdrawal from the UN, and the end of democracy in Disposablepuppetland.
We are now, no longer The Disputed Territories of Disposablepuppetland, but we shall never forget the callous way we were brought into this world by our former masters, and so, we shall henceforth be known as: The Barely Disguised Contempt of Disposablepuppetland.
I have created a new flag to celebrate this momentous occasion and represent our new-found freedom. It is called 'Fiend in the Eclipse'. Its uplifting image represents the bright new optimism in our lands. Look upon its visage and feel the pride swell within you.
When I ride my bicycle to work each afternoon I look at our beautiful land and see everywhere the reminders of how we were controlled and used. Like a fiend tearing apart a dead horse with its fangs. Well times have changed! The glove's on the other fang now. We are the fiends. Fly free my fiends, own your own country, and remember, a bicycle is not a horse!"

Opinion polls taken later in the month revealed that, despite the media's best efforts, public opinion remained on matters other than politics. Initially there were fears that the power may have gone to Vershner's head, especially with the appointment of a minister for plotting, but the new dictatorship has remained, as promised, benevolent. Industry has gone from strength to strength, and civil rights have been upheld. The Barely Disguised Contempt of Disposablepuppetland has risen to stand on its own two feet, and the future looks bright.
[align=center]This is what DPL is about - Also known as The Justified Ancients of West-Side - Furthermore known as the Jam
Cartographer of Canada
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Rylvan
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I think this would be better suited to the Introduce Your Nation thread. :fonz:
Chuck Norris Points: 2

28 DAYS LATER: Abraham Weiss ~ 3:10 TO YUMA: Dwight "Bud" Marlowe ~ CANADIAN DOMINATION: Lord Marshal Casder ~ COPS: Jamie Vance ~ CSI: Jesse Vance ~ D&D: Caliban Canivar ~ GUARDIAN SOCIETY: Salvo, Alpha Boy ~ ON THE FRONT: Pvt. Dominic Reardon ~ MEDIEVAL TIMES: Prince Johann ~ SPIES: Leroy Perlman ~ STAR ADVENTURE: WO Andre Lanter ~ STRANDED: Justin Vance ~ SUPERNATURAL: Rhett Van Sprang ~ TIMESPLITTERS: Spc. Jeremiah "Rookie" Vance ~ WILD LIFE: Rex
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disposablepuppetland
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I'm not really that keen on mixing them all together in one thread. It makes linking to it more awkward. Besides, I have several stories and articles to post.
[align=center]This is what DPL is about - Also known as The Justified Ancients of West-Side - Furthermore known as the Jam
Cartographer of Canada
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Ess
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So there, nya! :P

:rofl:
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WOW Canada is a Wonderland of enchantments~Bobert
Ess is the Chuck Norris of NS Canada, so anything's possible.~Redundancies
The hippy chick is Canada's coolest! ~Fiddy
HappinEss ~Matilda
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Rylvan
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I see... As you were.
Chuck Norris Points: 2

28 DAYS LATER: Abraham Weiss ~ 3:10 TO YUMA: Dwight "Bud" Marlowe ~ CANADIAN DOMINATION: Lord Marshal Casder ~ COPS: Jamie Vance ~ CSI: Jesse Vance ~ D&D: Caliban Canivar ~ GUARDIAN SOCIETY: Salvo, Alpha Boy ~ ON THE FRONT: Pvt. Dominic Reardon ~ MEDIEVAL TIMES: Prince Johann ~ SPIES: Leroy Perlman ~ STAR ADVENTURE: WO Andre Lanter ~ STRANDED: Justin Vance ~ SUPERNATURAL: Rhett Van Sprang ~ TIMESPLITTERS: Spc. Jeremiah "Rookie" Vance ~ WILD LIFE: Rex
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