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Gone; Zxaine
Topic Started: Dec 22 2009, 12:32 AM (237 Views)
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It was increasingly difficult to sit in the room they once shared without being reminded of the lack of her presence. Lucas stood in the doorway for a few moments, caught in his enterance with eyes to the floor. They were here when he last spoke to her, the day they were separated. The whole scene ran through his head in short bursts, part after part after part.

He closed the door quickly, locking it for good measure, because after all, he was hardly willing to see anyone after that. Lucas thought quickly of his options. Of course he wanted to talk to Amber, to see if she had any idea this was going to happen. He would have liked to believe that if she had any warning, she would have told him. It wouldn't be like her to keep this whole situtaion from him. He might have been able to say or do something to stop her from leaving.

But he didn't get the chance.

Lucas turned his attention away from that for now, crossing the room in order to sit down and try to think. There was no way he would be able to contact her; he couldn't think of anything.
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Yoshika
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She had looked everywhere, no one had seen him... or if they had they weren't telling. She'd even tried to peek into Stella's room. The blinds had been drawn so she didn't feel like popping in. After all... maybe she was naked in there. That was something that would likely traumatize the teleporter for life. Glowy nakedness. The thought made her shudder. She was in the Quad when she sighed, vanishing and reappearing in Lucas' room. She'd taken to doing that and taking naps on his bed when she couldn't find him. So that is what she was about to do. Imagine her surprise when she noticed him sitting in his room. She blinked a few times and smiled warmly. She hadn't expected him to be in his room... he wasn't here when she checked earlier.

She opened her mouth to say something when Damion bit her hand and she paused, looking at him more carefully. Her bright smile fell and she walked to him, her heeled shoes clicking lightly against the floor.

"Something has happened." She stated matter of factly, looking directly into his eyes so he'd have to look at her unless he turned away. Her face was concerned, searching his for answers to unasked questions. Something was wrong. The question was.... what?
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Lucas retrieved his Aeon, sending a quick message out to Amber, though it was difficult to sound urgent without a voice.

I need to see you. Stella left-

The message sent itself with the slip of his finger as Zxaine appeared so suddenly. Of course, he should have been used to the way she would just show up at any given moments, but it was to be expected that in his current state, he wasn't expecting it. So he was given no time to think on the situation alone; no oppertunity to plan his responses or try to do... anything.

"Something has happened."

"Yes, it has." Lucas replied, without a thought. A vague answer for a vague state of mind. He forced his gaze from hers, turning down to the floor once more in desperate need for something to look at that wasn't her. Not now, not yet. "She left this morning; no word and no goodbye." He felt no ned to explain who he was talking about. Who else would it be.
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Yoshika
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"Yes, it has."

She really hadn't need affirmation of that, it was a statement... rhetorical at best. Still, it didn't hurt anything to have it confirmed. She played with the edge of her scarf.

"She left this morning; no word and no goodbye."

That seemed off to the girl, why would Stella just leave just like that after Zxaine had told her she'd pass messages. Surely she knew nothing, how could she? Still the thought buzzed in her head like a rather unwelcomed mosquito, and she frowned as he turned his gaze from hers to the floor. He didn't want to see her now, she knew that, but it didn't seem right to leave him like this. She bit her lip, thinking and turned to walk to the other side of the room.

"That... is an interesting turn of events." she said softly, almost too softly for him to hear... almost. She didn't sound pleased at all with this new development, which might shock the boy. "But.. I thought it was odd she was never around." She was talking to herself mostly, Damion nodding as he looked up at her. The cat wandered back to Lucas and sat beside him and rested his large head on the boy's knee. "What does this mean?" The girl had a sinking sensation and she wasn't sure how to place it. Better to ask and know.
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"That... is an interesting turn of events."

Interesting. It was not the word he would have chosen.

"But.. I thought it was odd she was never around."

"Everything quickly became too much for her, so I was told. She stopped going to class, probably didn't even leave her room unless it was imperetive. And I had no idea." No, it was not that he had no idea, it was that he had not taken the time to notice; he had not seemed to care. Whether it were true or not, it was how it was all beginning to feel for him.

"What does this mean?"

Lucas wasn't entirely sure what she was talking about; of course while he didn't mean it, Zxaine had been the last thing on his mind. "I don't understand... She left here, so doesn't that mean she left me?" He would have thought different had she offered him any form of a goodbye, it was the mian thing he couldn't get over.
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Yoshika
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"Everything quickly became too much for her, so I was told. She stopped going to class, probably didn't even leave her room unless it was imperetive. And I had no idea."

She looked towards his bed, she had known, well not about the classes part but about the not leaving her room unless she had to thing... she had known about that. She had thought it just a coping mechanism the girl would get over. Apparently not. Still something didn't sit right with the girl, things seemed... incomplete. Best not to voice that, she was probably being paranoid, feeling as if the star girl could see her now. It was creeping her out.

"I don't understand... She left here, so doesn't that mean she left me?"

She turned her back to him, playing with a lock of her hair. Always things seemed to return to that girl, even when she was standing right there. Offering him a normalcy he wouldn't get with her, a chance to at least appear normal, be able to fight and make up like regular people did. To not keep up the facade of the relationship being perfect. She was imperfect, she knew, but was Stella really so much better then her? She let her head hang a bit, eyes staring at her shoes.

"I wouldn't know." She answered blankly, not even realizing she was saying anything till it was out of her mouth. "I only saw her fleetingly, now and again." She glanced over her shoulder at him, Damion sitting by his feet and looking up at him, turning her face away again. This was not how things were supposed to be.
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"I wouldn't know. I only saw her fleetingly, now and again."

It mustn't have made any sense- not that he initially realised- the fact that he had seemed so content to leave the star girl for Zxaine, and now this. Evidently, Lucas had not realised the difficulty of the whole situation. Because here she was, now, and there he sat, staring through her as he wondered on the emotion behind her words. "I can't understand it, it makes no sense. None of it does." He rambled once more. It was difficult to make sense of what went through his mind. Grasping hold of a single emotion was something he couldn't seem to do.

"What do you think I should do? What-" Lucas stood up, then, realising Zxaine had chosen to turn her gaze from him, "What does happen now? Am I supposed to simply let this whole thing go? I don't know where to start." He fell into that endless circle of questions, reaching out and placing a hand on her shoulder. "What are you thinking?"
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Yoshika
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She was starting to get angry. She could feel the heat rising and her stomach start to tie itself in knots. Always it was about Stella, HER feelings, HER well being. Well, Zxaine had feelings too! She'd gone months in misery thinking he hated her because STELLA told him to not talk to her. She hadn't gotten so much as a "We're still friends, we just can't talk now." from him. And STILL it was Stella. Always Stella.

"I can't understand it, it makes no sense. None of it does."

"I don't understand either." she said simply, though they were now talking about different things, her eyes were squeezed shut. Not realizing that he had risen and approached her.

"What do you think I should do? What- What does happen now? Am I supposed to simply let this whole thing go? I don't know where to start."

"Now... I'm not sure. Things have always been... complicated and... I just don't know. I don't know where she is, how to find her..." she said quietly, no emotion in her voice as she spoke, trying very hard to fight down the urge to unload all the frustration SHE felt, had been feeling for the entire time he'd been around her.

She bit down on her lip hard, very nearly drawing blood, and her body tensed when he put his hand down on her shoulder. What did he expect from her? Did he think that she would just roll over and take it every time?

"What are you thinking?"

"I...." She paused, her voice faltering, however she spun around and looked him square in the eye. The anger and hurt evident in the swirled tones. "I'm thinking that I'm never gonna be PERFECT enough to be as good as her, to be the first thought. I don't get it. I'm always doing my best, but she's always somehow more important. Her feelings always take precidence. Like she's a god damn porceline doll and we're all supposed to coddle her and make sure that she doesn't break! Other people can break too you know!" She backed away from him by a step, holding her arms across her chest. Even as her voice trembled with anger, with hurt, with jealousy. "Is she THAT amazing that no matter what you feel, or what you want .... No... no I'm not doing this." She turned her face away from him sharply, hair hiding her face from view. "I don't understand either. Not at all." she moved a few steps towards the door. Perhaps it was best she leave, she glanced over at him, anger falling away to sadness, she didn't want him to never talk to her again for this... but ... he HAD asked.
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"I...."

Of course, Lucas expected little in the way of advice from her, for what advice could one rightly give? There were obviously no move left on his part, he had no choice as he had been given none from the beginning. Without word, he was simply meant to assume she was gone. And why? It was another thing he was probably not supposed to know about. No address or phone number. No contact. Imagine his surprise as Zxaine turned, with pain in her eyes that mirrored his, though for very different reasons they both stood hurt.

"I'm thinking that I'm never gonna be PERFECT enough to be as good as her, to be the first thought. I don't get it. I'm always doing my best, but she's always somehow more important. Her feelings always take precidence. Like she's a god damn porceline doll and we're all supposed to coddle her and make sure that she doesn't break! Other people can break too you know!"

He blinked twice in confusion. He hardly expected an outbreak.

"Is she THAT amazing that no matter what you feel, or what you want .... No... no I'm not doing this."

Was it better to bottle it up? Once it had been opened- this jealousy and rage- was it not better to continue? Zxaine thought not; she shut the proverbial door she had just opened, sealing it tightly.

"I don't understand either. Not at all."

Every so often, it all simply clicks together in the mind. Everything, all the promises came together in a heartbeat, but all he could honestly say initially was, "I did love her, Zxaine." He hadn't been sure if they were the right words to use, still... "And, in looking past her naivety to the world, I did believe she felt the same way. But now... Now I know for certain that I was wrong. Her naivety to humanity left me her support for survival. Desperation can take many forms." His breath pushed into a stifled laugh.

"She unintentionally played me. I should but, I can't be angry at her for it." Lucas said, though he knew she wouldn't understand it. "Not that any of it matters now." He felt he was rambling, not making much sense or, at the very least, not getting to the point quick enough, "I know what I said to you and yes, I thought it would be that easy. But the first person I met here, the first person I- She's gone now, without a word and without a trace. Do you believe I can let that all go in a day?"
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Yoshika
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"I did love her, Zxaine."

She tried to block out the shocked look on his face, closing her eyes for a second even as she hugged her middle tighter. That was not what she wanted to hear, that was something she already knew.

"I know." She mumbled quietly, wanting to run.

"And, in looking past her naivety to the world, I did believe she felt the same way. But now... Now I know for certain that I was wrong. Her naivety to humanity left me her support for survival. Desperation can take many forms."

She had started to turn away again when he spoke, her eyes turning to him with a tortured expression. She didn't want to know all this, she just wanted to let herself hurt. She didn't want to know at all.

"She unintentionally played me. I should but, I can't be angry at her for it."

Another darkened look, clearly she wanted to be able to tell Stella off for that but it didn't matter anymore. She wasn't sure if she'd ever even see her again.

"I know what I said to you and yes, I thought it would be that easy. But the first person I met here, the first person I- She's gone now, without a word and without a trace. Do you believe I can let that all go in a day?"

She shook her head, using her scarf to wipe her eyes.

"No... I don't. I .... Maybe I should... I don't know. I should go and think." she mumbled and looked at him again, expression downcast but her eyes screaming that she still adored him, pleading that he not be angry at her. "I... bye." With that she turned, fingers on the doorknob, Damion nuzzling Lucas' hand and taking his rightful space at her side.
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New season, new drama. XD

The doorknob would turn under Zxaine’s fingers first then opens. Standing before her would be Amber Ramius, the known girl for her small, pristine wings and the gothic-cute fashion. A black and white plaid dress to match the coming season change sported a scalloped hem, a black purse in the shape of a coffin with a white cross design hung at the crook of her arm. The girl’s expression was listless, most likely the news of her roommate’s sudden leave had not a chance to settle in. One look at the underclassmen girl before her and her expression changes to a more puzzled look.

Puzzled, but not one to pass sympathies.

Amber knew well of the girl before her, she had shared enough time with Stella with tea and snacks. She would voice her fears about a certain person, but had assured Amber that it was nothing for Amber to be concerned about. How...awkward it was to see that this very girl was present in Lucas’s room with such despondent eyes. Her dark eyes flickered past the girl to Lucas, who seemed to have an aura of mixed sensations - anger, sadness, disbelief. Given the situation, who could blame him? Aside from that, it was obvious that something had transpired here...but what?

No, she assured herself, whatever had transpired here was none of her business. She was here to talk to Lucas and Lucas alone - just as she had promised.

"Pardon." Amber says with a distant politeness, stepping to one side so that Zxaine could leave.
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Yoshika
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Damion remembered Amber, but didn't address her personally, he was a cat and the only human he acknowledged every time they met was Lucas. He walked past the girl before she moved out of his mistress' way. Zxaine paused and looked at Amber for a long moment, her brown/green eyes confused for a moment before going blank again.

"Pardon."

"Certainly." She answered dully, stepping past once Amber moved to one side. She looked over her shoulder at Lucas, fighting to keep her neutral expression, then turned away, taking one step and vanishing.
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"No... I don't. I .... Maybe I should... I don't know. I should go and think. I... bye."

How quickly everything had toppled over; first Stella disappears without a word and then Zxaine chose to recoil from him after expressing some dangerous jealousy and anger. He made no move to stop her as she touched against the door knob, barely registering Damion's form of a goodbye as he brushed past the boy's hand. The door opened, to find Amber on the other side. He hadn't checked the Aeon, didn't hear it buzz with a response, but considering the current situation, of course the phone wasn't his top priority. He hadn't even been sure he'd sent her a message.

There is an awkward exchange between the two, mainly because Amber was trying not to involve herself and Zxaine was doing her best to steel her expression. Lucas let her go.

And once the door would close, he would begin, "Did they tell you anything? Did she mention any of this?" He hoped if she had, Amber would have told him.
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sugoisake
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New season, new drama. XD

Amber eyed Zxaine and the cat briefly as they left, then allowed herself inside. The moment the door shut, the news had begun to settle in and the questions begin to arise.

"Did they tell you anything? Did she mention any of this?"

The nephlet’s eyes shifted, as if mentally searching a slide show of the sudden events, before she spoke. Her tone was somber, understandably.

“I was out, got a message from Mai. She told me Stella left early yesterday morning, that her health took a turn for the worse, so she went back with her family.” She shook her head for a moment, sinking into the nearest seat.

“But...It doesn’t seem right. She didn’t say goodbye. I know she was depressed over this whole arrangement that she stopped coming to class. But...when I last spoke to her, after the failures to get you two to see each other, she appeared in rising spirits. She even said she would try to come back to class. It seems all sudden, unless she was masking her pain. That's all I know.”

Amber turns to Lucas, wanting to hear what he was told. Given that the situation circulated around the former couple, he would probably know more than she did.
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“I was out, got a message from Mai. She told me Stella left early yesterday morning, that her health took a turn for the worse, so she went back with her family.”

Lucas thought back to his recent conversation with the teacher in question; he had been told the same thing, that there was concern for her health and her family thought it best if he leave the school. And what comes next? There was nothing but uncertainty.

He listened as Amber went on to explain how strange it all seemed; the way she seemed to feel a little better, a statement that worked heavily against the apparent reason she left in the first place. Lucas moved slightly to lean against the wall, looking back through his conversation with Mai in order to pick up on anything he might have missed. "What you were told is quite similar to what I know." He began, and paused briefly.

"I do know that when they withdrew her, they had asked if she wanted to say goodbye, to tell me what was happening. But she said no, thinking it would be less painful if I found out this way." He explained. There was a thin air of spite hanging around his words, something which sounded unfamiliar from the boy when the conversation concerned Stella. "So now I have nothing; I have no idea where she came from or where she lived because she never told me! She barely told me anything about herself, so how am I supposed to find her?"
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New season, new drama. XD

"What you were told is quite similar to what I know."

Lucas fell into a pause while Amber appeared somewhat discouraged by his answer. Maybe she hoped Ada-sensei told him something different...but then that would mean Lucas would have exhibited a little more hope than he did right now. Her attention is caught again when he continued:

"I do know that when they withdrew her, they had asked if she wanted to say goodbye, to tell me what was happening. But she said no, thinking it would be less painful if I found out this way."

“Eh?” Amber squeaks softly. That was a surprise indeed, that Stella Midnight, the girl who was practically inseparable from Lucas Reed, would leave without so much as saying goodbye. It seemed far too strange to think about. Given the situation, Amber simply could not blame Lucas for having a bitter bite to his words - something she was not used to seeing from the usually kind-hearted boy. Her dark eyes dart away for a moment and locked outside of the window. The day was far too clear, too chipper given what they were feeling.

"So now I have nothing.” The nephlet stands up from the chair, her attention to Lucas again. “I have no idea where she came from or where she lived because she never told me! She barely told me anything about herself, so how am I supposed to find her?”

Silence hung heavy between them. How problematic the situation was, for the star girl to simply up and leave without so much of a goodbye to the people that cared about her. Maybe she felt nothing for them at all...but Amber had to push those bitter thoughts away. No, she saw the way Stella looked at and spoke of Lucas. She saw the brave smile the girl tried to put on when she had comforted her. Hell, the whole reason she, Lucas and Akai went to save her from the aliens was for her sake!

So then....why?

“I don’t know.” Amber says softly. “This would be simple if we knew, had been given some sort of referral so we could at least contact her.”

But not even that was left or even noted by Ada-sensei as far as she knew, otherwise Lucas would have been the first to know.

"I still find it difficult to believe...that she would leave like that, especially without even seeing you first. I can only wonder if she was worse than she let on, but there was no way to know that. Her room has been entirely cleaned out." The winged girl pauses and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I don't have anything helpful or comforting to say, Lucas." But she was always willing to hear him out if he needed to vent as it was as good as a time as any.
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“I don’t know. This would be simple if we knew, had been given some sort of referral so we could at least contact her.”

Exactly. But there was nothing. On the occasion he had asked her about it; normal questions about where she came from, especially after he had met Mark but she had been quick and subtle to change the subject. And of course he thought nothing of it as he always did- as he always had when those kind of situtations came up. And the more he thought, the more frequent they had seemed.

"I'm sorry, I don't have anything helpful or comforting to say, Lucas."

"It isn't like her, she wouldn't just leave me like that." He said, though once the words left his mouth he thought of how selfish it sounded. Lucas found his mind racing, coming up with small situations that could have resulted in this, but they all pointed the same way. It was her choice and she made it without him. "I had already been doubting everything, and this just proves it. There was never anything there for her, that's why she made the choice she did."
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