Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]

Manga High School

Staff
The Head Honcho: Kary {sugoisake} The Lieutenant: Eddie {edwards on bebop} That Other Guy: Dev {Dev}
Current Announcements

Current Events!
ALIVE. Kinda. Did away with the giant board thing and downsized this to a single forum thing. Why? We got lives. So! Post when you can, do whatever, and be cool. That is all.
Affiliates

Vote For Us!
Top RPG Sites Caution 2.0 Topsites
RPGD CATEGORY :: FANTASY

Link To Us!
Welcome to MHS - Next Generation. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest.

If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all the things:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Up and Down; Amber
Topic Started: Aug 2 2009, 07:38 PM (178 Views)
edwards on bebop
Member Avatar
Moar MHS; Moar Drama

An afternoon on the roof. Lucas chose to avoid his room at all costs, not sure he could bring himself to explain what he'd done to anyone, much less Stella. The silence could have been positively destructive to him. In it he heard painful shrieking. It was difficult, no, impossible to ignore. Every moment was destroyed by the lingering thoughts of his first kill. He'd killed someone. He'd killed a student. And he'd wanted to.

Sleep was not an option either; slumber was plagued with such nightmares that he was avoiding it to the point of exhaustion. Surely Stella must have known something was wrong, but all attempts to get him to talk failed miserably. He refused to speak about it.

Sitting now, alone. In a daze he'd put himself himself on the roof's edge, legs hanging over the side of the building with nothing to catch him should he fall. His hands were folded before him, pressed together tightly. It wasn't comfortable.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
sugoisake
Member Avatar
New season, new drama. XD

The door to the rooftop access opens with a quick creak. Who else would join him but Amber Ramius, who spent quite a bit of time tracking him down. Stella didn't know but had mentioned Lucas was uneasy, something that deeply bothered Amber. He had not told his girlfriend, but maybe it was for the best in the long run.

But Amber found him, and that was what mattered. All through her dreams as she recovered, it was a race to reach him before the darkness did. Oddly enough, the darkness had a familiar looking mask but was nothing like the being it should belong to. Waking up with a racing heart and thanking Aoi for her services, that was the first thing she had set out to do.

A cool wind, the boy sitting dangerously at the edge. Amber had little to fear as she sat in a similar manner many times. He was in a daze that she was certain he had no idea someone had joined him. Guilt, she felt it claw deeper than the creature had done to her shoulder...and turned out the creature had a name, a life. How could she doubt that around her, things always took turns for the worst? Amber approaches Lucas, her heels clacking against concrete until she was next to him. Leaning on the ledge, her dark eyes absently surveyed the campus.

“You didn’t sleep well either, I suppose.” She says softly. She actually had wanted to ask if he was holding up well, but that was a silly question. Of course he was not well.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
edwards on bebop
Member Avatar
Moar MHS; Moar Drama

“You didn’t sleep well either, I suppose.”

"No." Lucas replied instantly. It was Amber, he could be certain from the voice, so there was no need to look over for confirmation. Amber. In his mind, it was difficult to determine whether or not he wanted to see her. He couldn't focus on the difference between wanting her around and wanting to distance himself from her, but both reactions had obvious explanations. She knew it all.

She knew it all. "I can't sleep properly. At all. I can't wait in darkness for it. I can't sleep without seeing what happened. But it's twisted," A small, painful laugh fell from his lips. he stifled it quickly enough, "Like I suppose all nightmares are. Sometimes he asks for death, sometimes he begs to be let go but I can't stop myself. They're easy to get caught up in. I could lose the memory of what happened." Or replace it with a nightmare scenario.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
sugoisake
Member Avatar
New season, new drama. XD

His answer resounding: "No."

"I can't sleep properly. At all. I can't wait in darkness for it. I can't sleep without seeing what happened. But it's twisted-"

A pained laughter, stifiled. Amber's eyes shift to him, watching carefully. He was not there at all, but so close to the verge that she feared he would fall in.

"Like I suppose all nightmares are. Sometimes he asks for death, sometimes he begs to be let go but I can't stop myself. They're easy to get caught up in. I could lose the memory of what happened."

Amber makes a soft sound of affirmation, she was hearing him. When faced with something you know, act upon it. She would have to, if she wanted to save him.

"I know. I saw him too. He told me...no, told us, that he wanted to die. I think he suffered..."

The winged girl spoke lucidly, as if she was reciting a memory rather than a nightmare. A small sigh escapes her lips and she continues.

"From what I know, what I learned...he wasn't like that. Not at all. But whatever twisted him made him into someone different. I don't believe Haji Yoru was that person."

Lukewarm words; she could not deny that he was a person, that they had acted to take his life, that Lucas had ended it. She was used to it, but not used to explaining it to someone who never had. Her dark eyes glance to him now.

"I can't imagine the pain of that cage, that cage he was trapped in, that twisted him. As much as you do not feel that way, consider that we freed him from the pain."

Worth a try, though she hoped her words did not sound entirely heartless.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
edwards on bebop
Member Avatar
Moar MHS; Moar Drama

"I know. I saw him too. He told me...no, told us, that he wanted to die. I think he suffered..."

Lucas hadn't thought of it that way. If he were able to control his thought pattern he might have explored all ideas, that one included. If only.

"From what I know, what I learned...he wasn't like that. Not at all. But whatever twisted him made him into someone different. I don't believe Haji Yoru was that person."

The name stuck like a knife. A name. His name. Emerald eyes escaped the afternoon light, hiding behind lids as they closed, and his head hung down. The sudden movement caused his body to sway slightly. First forward, then back. Forward into danger, backwards to safety. "Yes, I imagine we would have been warned if they knew he were like that." A sudden thought, at least it were different from the rest.

"I can't imagine the pain of that cage, that cage he was trapped in, that twisted him. As much as you do not feel that way, consider that we freed him from the pain."

"I get that." To an extent, anyway. But the facts were still there. His eyes opened, and Lucas tilted his head slightly to look over to her. "Did I do the right thing? Really? Is it worth all this?"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
sugoisake
Member Avatar
New season, new drama. XD

"Yes, I imagine we would have been warned if they knew he were like that."

Amber gently tugs at his shirt, as if she was certain he would fall over, which would lead to a pretty bad fall. Even if it was not possible, she was not about to risk it. He had not slept, and lack of sleep acted on the nerves and being up on the rooftop with that lack of sleep simply could not lead to good things.

He got her words and there was brief relief that he did not see her words as heartless. There was an understanding, that the boy suffered greatly in that twisted machine. And then the question was raised, mirroring what she had asked Kudo many hours before.

"Did I do the right thing? Really? Is it worth all this?"

A brief sigh escapes her lips. Amber wished to approach this carefully, knowing full well the weight of words when a mind is trapped in turmoil. The least she could do for him was draw him from that state of mind. Her dark eyes is locked in a faraway gaze, more towards where the waterfall would be, and then the gentle question:

"Let's look at it another way Lucas. What would be the consequences facing us if the deed was not done?"

Amber puts the situation in perspective - on her part, she would probably be dead or injured much worse had Lucas not killed the former student; the question was more directed at him than herself. What would he lose had the creature was not killed?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
edwards on bebop
Member Avatar
Moar MHS; Moar Drama

"Let's look at it another way Lucas. What would be the consequences facing us if the deed was not done?"

Lucas thought of his own obvious answer, though it probably didn't match with Amber's. She was trying to make him feel better, pull him back from whatever it was he was on the edge of. How ironic that moments ago he teetered on the edge of the roof. "Moments after it happened- at least I think it was only moments- Ken found us. Had we waited seconds longer, wouldn't he have saved us?" He asked, turning to look back outwards in the silence.

"Or do you mean what would have happened to Stella?"

He had to guess that she would be involved in this conversation. After all, it had been what set him off just before it all happened. Lucas shrugged. "I haven't even told her about it. I don't know if I want to. It might be better if you and I are the only ones who know." He was asking her to be silent about it, something he was sure wouldn't be a problem.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
sugoisake
Member Avatar
New season, new drama. XD

"Moments after it happened- at least I think it was only moments- Ken found us. Had we waited seconds longer, wouldn't he have saved us?"

That depends, she supposed. Moments of what if; Ken probably would have taken the thing on without a problem. Question was, would that kid have been able to be saved. The nephlet expressed doubt, the way Kudo-sensei had spoken to her of the boy, the way even cheerful Mai had been shaken by the reveal, it was not in the boy's character at all. It was a particularly morbid thought and Amber was bothered thinking in that way. Given the circumstances they faced, what other way was there to feel?

"Or do you mean what would have happened to Stella?"

Ah, there had been the trigger. She recalled that the creature had seemed to speak into their minds, agitating voice that taunted. So that's what sparked it; her. Everyone had their triggers, most tend to be the ones closest to them. Then there was the other side of the coin - Stella would have been particularly devastated if Lucas had died.

"I haven't even told her about it. I don't know if I want to. It might be better if you and I are the only ones who know."

The teachers were going to have their hands full figuring the entire situation out - telling the boy's friends and family of his passing. Until then, the nephlet had little reason to tell anyone of that day. She certainly had no reason to tell Stella - that was something Lucas would have to do on his own, if he ever decided to.

"Of course." Amber says tenderly, her eyes staring out to the distance. She bit her lip, deciding the words to say.

"You know, Lucas...it feels bad now, because what happened was quite different. It's powerful, isn't it? The surge one can feel, the drive that exists, the will to stay alive. Enough to take a life yourself but for the noble reason of protecting someone else."

Her white wings flutter, flutter, flap. She knew it well, that feeling. It was powerful, but easy to drown in if one was not prepared for the magnitude of the action. That's why she took great care in her words for her friend.

"But there is a distinction between you and others. You feel remorse for your actions. There are many in this world that would never feel what you felt, or think twice about it. The fact that you even felt the way you did is assurance that you're still human, that despite what happened, it won't consume you."

Amber glances over at him with a somber smile. Whatever she was rambling about probably would not make him feel better at the moment, but hopefully later it would come to full circle.

"It means you have a stronger heart than you know."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
edwards on bebop
Member Avatar
Moar MHS; Moar Drama

"Of course."

Of course. He knew he could trust her.

"You know, Lucas...it feels bad now, because what happened was quite different. It's powerful, isn't it? The surge one can feel, the drive that exists, the will to stay alive. Enough to take a life yourself but for the noble reason of protecting someone else."

Power and strength. Each time something so intense happened, Lucas was sure he could feel the bar that was his power limitation lifting higher and higher. He was getting stronger, learning to define his skills at the worst yet best times. Power when he needed it, but then came controlling it all. It was too much to process straight away. He was now strong enough to take a life, probably to take multiple lives. Why was something so terrifying also so thrilling?

"It means you have a stronger heart than you know."

A question forms in his mind, flying to the surface of his mind once she finished speaking. “But people like that exist, don’t they? Ones who live to kill people, feeling nothing, or feeling happy for taking someone’s life, crippling so many others in the process.” His fingers linked together, tightening between each other. The thought of it all… “How could they do it?”
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
sugoisake
Member Avatar
New season, new drama. XD

“But people like that exist, don’t they? Ones who live to kill people, feeling nothing, or feeling happy for taking someone’s life, crippling so many others in the process.”

The winged girl’s stare is distant again. It would be lying to say no, Amber thought wistfully to herself. There were both the people with strong hearts and those with black hearts and others in between. Where was she? What kind of heart did she have? Of course they exist, it was one of those threads about life that was harsh yet woven together in the expansive tapestry of life.

“How could they do it?”

“That’s the question, isn’t it? Motives of people who kill vary - passion, anger, self-defense, hatred, taking orders from superiors or simply disregard for human life. And even then, it’s more complex than simply stating those reasons.” A soft sigh passes her lips.

“My understanding of such things...is that there are many that can shut off their hearts from remorse. Quite difficult I would say. We are born and taught to respect and love and be compassionate...but if it was so simple, there would not be darker hearts that exist to hurt.”

It sounded abstract, but in her mind it made enough sense. How difficult it was to share what she knew without allowing Lucas to know her own dark heart.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
edwards on bebop
Member Avatar
Moar MHS; Moar Drama

“My understanding of such things...is that there are many that can shut off their hearts from remorse. Quite difficult I would say. We are born and taught to respect and love and be compassionate...but if it was so simple, there would not be darker hearts that exist to hurt.”

Lucas couldn't give an answer; was he supposed to be able to? He would never be sure, not now anyway. The muddled confusion that echoed throughout his mind faded slightly in the passing moments. He knew he couldn't do it. He could never kill without reason, but at the same time, he wasn't entirely sure what his reason was. And was there ever really a way to justify taking a life? No, he didn't think so.

"I'm not one of those people," Lucas said finally, after seconds of glass cutting silence, "I know that." He could convince himself that much. Not someone to enjoy the deed, but someone who'd done it none the less. The term murderer seemed far too violent, especially for someone like him, and yet... "I'll be fine, I just need-" Need what, he had to wonder. He wasn't entirely sure. "-A distraction, or eventually a way to come to terms with everything. It's easy to say things that would normally make someone feel right or better, but it doesn't mean emotions will play along."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · Small Threads · Next Topic »
Add Reply


[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]