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| The People Online: Truth or Lies; We call them friends..... but..... | |
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| Topic Started: Dec 8 2007, 03:36 AM (2,526 Views) | |
| kaineru | Dec 8 2007, 03:36 AM Post #1 |
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Banned By Ichi
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I was always wondering, when you chat with someone online, you may never know if they are but truth or those who just play with other people's hearts treating them and viewing them only as puppets and they the puppeteers... In my case I have yet to encounter these devious ones, I always seem to find people who will really say what they mean and play with their words trusting you that you know what they mean, and to some point you feel what they feel and understand their pain and that invisible bond of friendship is truly made... But I wanna know what you guys feel about this topic, I wanna know if you guys really treat your online buddies as your friends or only those poeple that you know.... |
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| khanny | Dec 8 2007, 09:29 AM Post #2 |
Official Event Coordinator
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lol. i think i treat my internet friends more HONESTLY than i do in real life.. ^^;;; in real life.. i have like a defensive social shell.. where if I don't know you, i'll be nice and subdue my truly weird side... however, once i've known and liked you, i unleash my truly weird, sarcastic, sometimes violent, and fun-loving and crazy laughing side..on the internet.. i go straight to step two.. dunno why. I pretty much have two "levels" of friendship, for the lack of a better word.. acquaintances, and friends... and all the peeps i talk to normally online are friends. Sometimes I have far more in-depth convos with people online than i do in real life. It's hard to have such convos in real life. For example (it's 4:30 AM. .so i can't think of good examples) but i recall one time a huge group of us had a debate about boys vs. girls. While some people's blood pressures shot up ( >_> ), this convo could never happen in real life.. I get what you're saying Kai, that anonymity online can free people up. They can act whatever they want, whenver they want. I mean there are people who create an entire persona "Just because" There's no "internet police" so the freedom is available I think can agree with you and say that i've never meet a "puppeteer" though, I can't see someone living willingly doing that.. the web of lies would expand so much.. why would someone exert some much time and energy.. However, some lie you can catch people at.. and THEN there's explaining to do. YOu could check my IP for my location.. and i'm sure there's more methods.. just ask our residential stalker *cough* jk ;) basically though, if all boils down to this... WHY LIE? there's no point.. you'd have nothing to gain.. or lose. |
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| LyraMalice | Dec 8 2007, 10:44 AM Post #3 |
The 13th Hattress
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For me it sounds pathetic: I'm a homeschooled girl, living in the country, hardly any neighbors, and the kids around here aren't that nice (and do drugs and things of the sort). I'm basically isolated but it's more by choice because of the fact that I'm different from the country boys and girls out here. One of my mom's best friends said that I was "more worldly" than they were. And I've always been smarter and had a better command of vocabulary compared to them. So my peers are extremely hard to talk to. And I'm shy to begin with. Which I guess is where I'm a bit like khanny. Online there's no need for it. Online, if you get the good people and not some predator or someone like that, you get honest people; they don't have some kind out outer shell you have to break through. They don't normally lie. And they talk; it's real and raw online. Personally I have hit a sort of rough spot in my life; I've practically been turned upside down for the first time ever. Honestly for a while I had made myself sick and really upset. I would have never in my life talked to anyone that I knew in real life, except for my best friend in the world who lives a few hours from me. But I did talk to a few of the online friends I have that I felt the absolute closest to, and they have helped me work through all of it. Granted my ordeal isn't over yet, it will be May before it’s all over, but they are there for me. I know that I can talk to them, and they don't judge me by looks or by anything but how I act and how I talk. I do have people online that I don't talk to about really deep stuff, but that's because I don't feel safe with them, and most of the time I end up blocking them. I do treat my online friends as real friends, because in a way they are true friends. |
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| Tsurai | Dec 8 2007, 10:55 AM Post #4 |
Death
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Lol, hello Khanny, Kai. I personally treat my online friends way better than I do in real life. In the outside world, some people may see me as a cold-hearted person who doesn't care about a lot of things, but where I live, you can't trust too many people. Truth be told. Online though, you see less people trying to play a 'pupeteer' role, and will actually and genuinely be nice and kind towards others, eventually making friends much easier. As Khanny said, what is there to lose or gain by lying and decieving people on the internet? I have multiple levels to my friendship scale myself. I 'know' of a person, which is basically the lowest level, which then goes to I am 'cool' with a person, which is a term we use where I live like you know the person, probably in a school setting, in which you hang out with sometimes. Then aquaintance, buddy (so to speak). Then they become the friend, once i've trusted them enough. (I know, a long ladder, but that is how hard it is to trust here. lol) When they've become a good friend, that's when they find out my true preferences (I'm a manga, anime, game, and MD fan xD). If you were to look at me on the streets, you would have absolutely no idea I was into that stuff, it's not that I hide it either, it's just that manga and anime aren't that big (try 5% of my whole city). Online though, it goes to meeting you, to aquaintance, and then friend. As would the starter of this thread would know xD. It's easier to show what you like on the internet easier I guess, since there is so many people out there with the same tastes you have. Plus, i'm 90% nicer online, since I don't have that social wall (sorry Khanny xp.) up around me. I treat my online friends nicer than the ones in real life, except my best and good friends (2 best, 2 good. That low xp.) Which get treated equally as well. Which goes on to the point that I have seen a pupeteer while online (I knew him quite well, although you could tell the person was lying, but the noobs sadly got sucked in, which we informed and saved xD He doesn't get on almost at all now, since he didn't have anyone to fool, it was kinda sad to see a person like that though... Yes, I see what Khanny is referring to, you can have conversations easier online than it is in real life. Probably because emotions may play a huge role in the conversations. As the discussion heats, the emotions go wild, sometimes turning violent, or ruining friendships, you can have disagreements online, but I eventually make up with them later and we go Rp (So awesome xD!) and other things. It does boil down to "Why should you even lie? Chances are you'll never see the person, and they'll most likely accept you for who you are, not the stories you tell to impress someone. (Hope I didn't sound all 'shrink' ish, just getting my opinion across, see you all in the Rp forums xp. Visit sometime xD! |
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| animefan | Dec 8 2007, 02:14 PM Post #5 |
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Lol, well.. I won't say that I haven't lied on the internet and done lots of idiotic stuff. But even though, I really hate to hurt people. In real life I talk to everyone, talking all the time, never listening to anyone (^^,) And it's sort of a curse, cuz I don't manage to do anything about it. I'm trying hard of course. I sort of consider anyone that thinks of me as a friend as friends of mine. I'm just glad if I have people to talk with :P *Simple minded* lol |
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| Petra_stone_girl | Dec 8 2007, 08:48 PM Post #6 |
His little one
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i think pretty much what khanny and tsuria said is true for me too. i cant really take this month in to accout but before that i didnt have enemies at school... it was just too much enegy and Im lazy. but there were people whose company i disliked, the ones i ignored and they ignored me unless they needed something (im an A student so it would be classork help) then people i iked as a person but never talked to for various reasons, then friends, then my 4 best friends. i tell them almost everything and talk to them about just about everything. one of them it has been a 11 year friendship and it was almost gone until the other 2 showed up and grabbed some superglue. im happy they did it too b/c i forgot how much i liked being with her. it was someone else that pushed us apart kind of the "puppeteer" but she is gone now now to get off that bunny trail... ^^ my online friends... i only have one really and i talk to him about everything especiaslly the things i cant tell my best friends. i enjoy it and i think its easier to trust then and when u do open up then u know that they will accept it and go on to the next convo... *Watermelon fights* :P |
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| boo-chan | Dec 8 2007, 09:17 PM Post #7 |
Queen Boo >.>;;
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I'm super nice and honest both online and in real life. Except I'm a bit shier in real life, face to face, a bit more brave and social online. Because of the lack of face to face setting. I don't know, that seems to be the only thing that makes me feel shy. I can't even explain why I feel shy. I guess some people who lie online are either concious about giving out information about themselves. I'd say better to limit the info than lie. But then limiting info makes you mysterious and people get curious. Or they want to "roleplay", be somebody that they aren't for fun. Since, as it was said before, you probably won't see the person ever. I honestly made bestfriends online. Like kchan~~ and I'm starting to get to know you guys too like Sarah, Petra, Tsurai, Kaiiii.. my little alien. :3 and off course the MD "Vets" xDDD |
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| redmage | Dec 8 2007, 09:47 PM Post #8 |
I can haz member title?
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Hmmm.... interesting thread. Well, here's my input. As to why people would falsify their identity, well, there are numerous reasons actually, but I think the big one is that the anonymity of the internet allows you to stop being who you are and start being who you want to be. I mean, how cool would it be to Superman, seriously? The anonymity of the internet gives you the opportunity to actually be Superman, or anyone else you want to be, as long as you can get people to believe it. (I think you'd have a difficult time getting someone to believe you're Superman, but that's aside the point.) The crippled kid, who couldn't go out and play with anyone, and thus had very few friends can create a new, non-crippled persona, and suddenly become just one of the guys. Given that a cripple would be able to communicate in the same way as anyone else would online, that doesn't necessarily mean he'd want it to bring it to people's attention. I can very much understand how someone might want to avoid the stigma of being different. On the other side of it, the internet allows an average person to become unique. Average Joe can be a university professor, or on the opposite side, he can be that crippled kid. Being a professor would garner respect. Being crippled would create sympathy. Either one could be desired by someone (though someone seeking sympathy in such a manner is rather sad). But to someone who, for some reason, cannot be who he or she wants to be, the internet is gold mine. If I want to be able to play the bassoon with masterfull skill, then I suddenly can, just by saying it is so. It's almost a god-like power, if you really think about it. In the minds of others, you are whoever you want to be. Anyway, on to the real topic. Now, for some of the people here (*cough*khanny*cough*), I have personally checked to see if they are really who they claim to be (though not so much that I didn't trust them, but rather because it was fun), so I tend to trust what people say as far as who they are unless I'm given a reason not to, or there is some danger in doing so without proof. For example, I tend to trust that you're all who you claim to be, but I'd never dream of giving my address to anyone here, just in case. So, as far as how my friends online and my friends in person differ, well.... it's very different. I'm generally closer to my friends in real life, mostly because I've known them since around the 5th grade. We've done a lot of things together, and I know them a lot better than I know you guys (you tend to learn a lot about each other at band camp :ph43r:). I ought to say however, I've grown close to you guys faster than I could with anyone in real life. I dunno why that is, but it is definitely easier and quicker to form bonds with people online. There are discussions I can have with my friends in real life that I can't have here, and there are discussions I can have with my friends here that I can't have in real life( unfortunately however, many of those end in arguments, such as the one khanny mentioned ><). My friends in real life have very different personalities than my friends online (with a few exceptions). They tend to be weirder than you guys. Not saying yu guys aren't weird; I'm just betting none of you ever dressed up as Optimus Prime for school. The biggest difference between real life and internet, though, is that girls don't talk to me in real life. ... ... ... *sigh* |
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| joeljjison | Dec 9 2007, 02:54 AM Post #9 |
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I wanted to say my own things, and respond to various things so apologies in advance for a messily confusing post. I can't say I get kick out of systematically emotionally hurting anyone, when the only possible gain could be sadistic pleasure. I don't get that unless its in revenge for something. I don't i act too differently on the net. I suppose in a sense I'm quite shy... i often want to talk to people alot more than i actualy and get to know them well, to be good friends, but don't manage to bring myself to. people are so paranoid about people being stalkerish. your not allowed to chat to people online because you feel lonely unless you fake yourself to be otherwise, or make a joke out of it. but again thats quite similar to me in real life.. instead of seeming like a plain whiner, i make dry comments on everything and amuse people with cynical and sometimes self deprecating humour. people me know me as that funny guy who's always depressed. thats half honest. i do lie about how i am alot though when people ask that.. but i dont think i do that more on the internet than in real life. thats usually fine when im not. its because so often i just wanna gush things out.. and that doesnt make you friends. really, most people are shallow. lets face it. what people want from a friend is a low maintenance ego booster. then theres that hopeless dream.. an unconditional friend.. i was a fool to believe in that one, but im getting off the point. on the internet i can allow myself to be moody a bit more than in real life, though i do the same thing in both if im too annoyed or too depressed. i make an excuse and leave, or sometimes i say it honestly. i find you pretty refreshing Lyra, though its ashame i havn't managed to get on msn for a while. there are some problems i seem to have socially both on the net and in real life. its when your interacting with more than one person... people always seem to stand in groups... and i never manage to get in the circle, i just stand by it awkwardly. its really humiliating. worse than being in the circle and not being looked at or talked to. you know how we sometimes choose to put special effort with someone? how often does it pay off? thats a question to ask.. like when you try to become good friends with someone and your nice to them. i find with only two exceptions that to be close to someone, they have to want to be close to me first... only twice have i suceeded in making good friends. usually i've made false ones or worse! i feel mutually that i can be alot more honest an open with my best online friend. others are basically on a similar level to 'mates' . people id have a drink with or whatever! theres a few id be open with.. basically those who've been open with me. tbh though with the aforementioned one, i think we've probably got a better friendship than in the flesh people, at least on my side its really sad though because the only shortcoming in these friendships that have so much more potential.. .we'll probably never meet each other.. no hugs and all that malarkey! . and then one day it might just be over.. thats a really scary thing with all friendships.. i dont think i've found one that can last my life yet. i know that a horrible thing to say to my friends but.. i dont have the confidence that i'll still have friends in however many years im thinking but wont say! at least not friends id want to have who are good friends. heh i agree with you magey. well people make fun of me less on the internet which is nice. in relation to what you finished with. |
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| kaineru | Dec 10 2007, 03:41 AM Post #10 |
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Banned By Ichi
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I am very happy to find out that the people here are as genuine than the people I know... You know, if you guys met me earlier, you wouldn't meet me, instead, you'll meet Adrian, my former... He is a loner, and so I inherited that trait, he is but a lonesome person who never seems to come terms with people, he could never understand what true friendship ment and held on to the past... In the end he died and I... Kai, replaced him... But I was born from a sad souless shell of a man, and indeed I suffered as well, I continue to wear a mask to people in real life telling them I am Adrian, but I am not... You see, I could neveer trust and truly befriend somebody in real life, because I could see thrugh them, I guess the only I can be truth to people in real life is when I met them already online. Though this rarely happen I had a hobby of looking for my net friends online and find them as genuine as they really mean... You see a lone wolf is always a lone wolf, that's why the net helps me a lot, and your inputs make me at awe... Hearts pure as light pass through this thread.... I wish I can get back to my old hunting hobby so I can really see you guys.... |
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| Deleted User | Dec 25 2007, 04:23 PM Post #11 |
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Deleted User
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well should it matter weather they are deceiving you or not, should that not still make them your friend no matter who or where they are? we are all just people chatting online, there is only so much that we can do, but it's ok like that right? |
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| Deleted User | Dec 27 2007, 01:20 AM Post #12 |
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Deleted User
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to be honest, i haven't really been able to make an online friend, the normal people that talk to me online talk for a few days, and then disappear.. the other people that try to communicate with me are usually obnoxious people who flirt and want pornographic web cam pics and cybersex, and i'm not into that kind of thing. though when a real person that is not some perv talks to me, i generally am honest and dont lie. i don't give out where i live and specific details about me because theres always that chance that they could be a crazy. :unsure: |
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| Deleted User | Dec 28 2007, 01:21 AM Post #13 |
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Deleted User
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I'm probably more honest on the internet, because I don't really know the person, and doubt that I'll ever meet them. The only thing I lie about is my age, but only sometimes. Only to people who I know won't take me seriously if I say I'm really thirteen. I hate being treated like a child. >.< (But I'm not lying here, I was born September thirteenth, 1994, year of the dog. n_n;) I also lie if they ask for my address or phone number though, because what if they really are an insane pedophile or something?? :blink: |
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| Deleted User | Jan 4 2008, 10:30 PM Post #14 |
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Deleted User
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Well... I'm more honest in real life then i am online. For one thing i actually know the people im talking to so i can actually trust them. BUt when im online i guess im more out there and im more social then i am in real life just cause i don't really see them face to face. When im talking to people online im more cautious about what im saying and yeah, some of them are lies but very few. It's just cause i f i don't give out any really personal information then there's really no harm. It's okay if i give out my name or age cause a lot of poeple out there will probably have the same. i mean it isn't as if someone's coming to get you if you just tell them your name...obviously you wont try to meet up with your online friend well unless it's one of those dating services |
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| joeljjison | Jan 4 2008, 10:37 PM Post #15 |
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"obviously you wont try to meet up with your online friend well unless it's one of those dating services" I think thats ashame.. I've never met with someone who I've solely communicated with on the internet, but I have some friends who have.. my friend Todd has a couple of friends on the internet, who he spoke to on it for about 5 years before meeting them in real life. They know each others phone numbers, been to each others houses.. i think its really great. I had a friend at my old school who, actually regularly met up with friends he got over the net. I think the thing here is either decide you can trust in yourself - ie your analysis of the person in questions truth (and have parents who trust in your judgement), or alternatively to bring along a friend/meet somewhere very public. I'd love to meet my friends if we were to cross paths in real life. But I suppose I don't think I'd make a real effort in terms of travelling internationally. |
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