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The Darkest Dawn; First few chapters
Topic Started: Dec 2 2010, 02:33 PM (335 Views)
JJ_Malcolm
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Commande rof Squad Vigilante of the Nightmare Alliance, Chapterm
[ *  * ]
Note: I'm posting this first chapter of my novel, 'The darkest dawn' to see if it's any good for writing. All in all, I'm hopeful that I can get constructive criticism and, hopefully, improve my writing ability so that it'll be a quality piece when it comes time to publish it.

The Beginning of the End

A demonic face appeared on a large view screen, its evil red eyes glowed with the bright blue background of a high tech factory at work creating something. The screen's glow silhouetted a team of figured, most of them non-human.

"One Thousand years ago, the Magic War began with the mass exodus from the town of Ashley Illinois. This event was triggered by yet unknown means, but culminated in the revival of Magic as a means of warfare, advancements in technology, and both magic and technology working in unison for the first time in hundreds of years.

Along with this all, it also lead to a war that, even more than a thousand years later, has yet to truly end. The mass exodus of the human race from their home world of over thirty million years, multiple extinction-level events occurring on Earth, including but not limited too: The halting of the planet's ability to rotate, the sun unleashing repeated critical Corona Mass Ejections, and the Dark-Wave causing a veritable tsunami of radiation across the globe. All leaving the planet an inhospitable wasteland...until you all came along."

The eerie figure, its face never moving, waited for the responses of its captive audience. Geno, the lone human male of the group gripped a long metal staff, trying to avoid speaking. His steel blue eyes shone with a light of pure, bloodthirsty rage at the figure on the screen. He took a glance at his assistant, a dragoness.

Vorela, his assistant, a curvaceous platinum dragoness, hissed at the monster that spoke to them like some kind of teacher, expecting them to not know any of this. Her wings flared, spreading rapidly and retracting, showing her anger in a more visible manner.

Kira, the second youngest member of the group, rested a hand on her sword. Her pink, cat-like ears and tail twitched in annoyance, trying to resist the desire to leave and hunt down this creature immediately.

Krameil, queen of the TaoKa warrior race, simply watched the monitor with cold fury, wishing only for the chance to end the Magic War for good. She took a deep, calming breath, distracting her long time friend, Julia, momentarily.

Julia, ever the team lunatic, and most certainly the oddball of the group, simply purred, listening to the communication but ignoring the visuals in favor of the more pleasant sight of Krameil's ample bosom, Her black-furred tail swished lightly throughout the room.

"I see. No response? Or do you simply wish to save your strong words for when we finally meet in person?" The creature continued. "You see, before this war began, my sole purpose was one simple job. Hunt down and destroy all magic. It went easily, until those people, other than my creators learned of my existence. And that was when I needed allies of my own. But you know that all too well, don't you?

Where it not for the magic war, my 'reinforcements' would have amassed more than enough numbers, but it also brought to the fore some...flaws. They simply made more of themselves, never advancing in technology until the war began. Now, however, I have a way to change that." The entire group stood in shock, wondering what 'he' meant, what this thing was up too. "You see, Squad Vigilante, I know how to warp space and time. I'll admit that it has its limits. But now...now I can replace my former self, and continue the Magic War from the beginning, prepared well ahead of time for anything you and your precious 'Nightmare Alliance' can throw at me. I will win. And with that victory, a permanent end to magic will follow. By annihilating all beings capable of using magic the universe will truly be lifeless, populated only by my kind, Commanded by the Metal-Fiends." The creature gave an evil-sounding laugh, opening its mouth for the first time. The image then went black.

* * *

"Alright troops!" Geno said, standing at the head of the meeting room. "Here's your target!" he pulled down a large picture of the creature from before, but before he could blink, everyone in the room had thrown a large number of sharp weapons at the image.

"...okay... As I was saying, your target is the Commander-type #810, Striker model Metal-Fiend, AKA 'Chaos'. He's made it clear what he plans on doing, and thankfully, he's the last of the Commanders, so we get rid of him, the Metal-Fiends are no longer a threat. So, the mission is to assault the last Metal-Fiend factory. Pope Glabados will be distracting their main forces from the south of the Wasteland, Ganymeade and Io will strike from the north and west. So it's up to us, Squad Vigilante, to slip in from the east and take down Chaos once and for all. He's been a thorn up our asses long enough, and with the Mythos on the move, we've got more than enough problems without those damned machines demolishing all of our attempts at halting the Mythos' revival."

"Lord Geno is correct." Vorela said, resting quietly in a chair beside him. "If we can destroy Chaos here and now, the Magic War will officially end once and for all. We'll be able to completely rebuild Old Earth to its former glory, and focus on handling the threat of the Mythos and the Garm in relative peace. But if we fail, then it's very likely that ancient super demons and the TaoKa's eternal rivals will be the LEAST of our worries."

"I couldn't care less about Chaos himself." Julia said, grunting in annoyance. "What I AM worried about is if he awakens the Cyber Demons. If he does that, then he's got what he needs to CONTROL the Mythos. THEN we’re pretty much screwed beyond imagining. Not only will there be no life, but no Afterlife either. Even Satana and Lucifer are scared of those four, that's why they had them locked away. And we all know Chaos was built based off of them, so he likely knows where they may be."

"In short, death if we succeed, Armageddon if we fail." Krameil said, sighing lightly. "I, for one, will gladly join the fight against him. End it all, right here, right now."

"We all know the War Master’s Motto." Geno said. "If you wish for peace..."

"PREPARE FOR WAR!" they all shouted at once, breaking up the meeting and leaving for the drop bay.

* * *

Heavy doors slam wide open, a tight hallway passes on as the group of women march on through.

"Who Are We?" Julia shouts, rallying her team.

"We are Warriors!" They respond. Another door is slammed open.

"I can't HEAR YOU!"

"We are the Elite!" A third door is opened, this one mechanical, leading into a massive bay filled with other female humanoids working quickly.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"

"We are Warriors! We are the Elite! We Defend the Defenseless, Help the Helpless, Build Up the Downtrodden, and Strengthen the Weak! We are built for Battle, and will never fail on the field of Life and Death! WE ARE KRIEGSMAIDEN! WOMEN OF WAR!" all of the women stopped to join in, what has become known as 'The Oath of the KriegsMaiden'.

"That's More LIKE IT!" Julia shouted, her and her team leaping into the crowd of busy workers, calling out what they needed for the battle.

"Oi, Sweets!" Julia shouted, "I'mma gonna need my girls, bring me the Beshemoth, my War Master, The Genji armor, and my wings. Remember, they're the black ones, not the white."

Sweets, a young humanoid, resembling the cartoon-ish idea of a 'succubus', nodded and rushed off, returning with the equipment in moments.

"What took ya so long?" Julia first donned the Genji armor, a heavy and strong armor modeled after the armors of ancient Japan. The thick black lacquer that hid the Adamantite armor plates and EinLanzium lift system shone in the brightly lit room like a black-faced mirror. She then grabbed her War Master, a high-tech version of the ancient 'Kriegs Messer', or 'War Knife', a German sword known for its ease of repair and durability. She slid the blade into its scabbard and attached it to the socket on her armor's left hip, keeping it at the ready.

Before even considering grabbing anything else, Julia activated the lift system, electrified heavy water flowing between the plates of EinLanzium, one of the many strange materials that had been rediscovered during the war. As the charge blasted against the unusual metal, Julia’s armor seemed to lose it’s weight, even running into negative weight before finally causing Julia to float weightless for a few brief moments, before the warrior decided to shut it down again, let she lose her fuel for flight.

Julia then took the 'Beshemoth', better known as the Beshemoth Heavy Assault/Sniper Cannon. She checked the Infinity Belt to make sure it wouldn't accidentally jam mid-battle, then popped out the revolver of its emergency shotgun, making sure every one of its eight rounds was loaded and ready. She hoisted the towering gun onto her back, locking it into the cannon-mount for until she needed it in both hands. Then, she attached her spellchip, a tiny 'computer chip'-like device. Upon attaching it to her armor, it sprouted a pair of large, black feathery angel wings. "OK, I'm ready!" Julia shouted, running over to a drop pod and strapping herself in.

"OK, who's next?" Sweets shouted, smiling when Lady Krameil showed up. "The usual, ma'am?"

"Yes." Krameil said, nodding, "That'll be more than enough." She then awaited Sweets' return, carrying her 'Royal Dress', the ancient armor worn only by the TaoKa Queen, the bright green blades of her 'Scepter', an ancient TaoKen, shining bright. 'Scepter' was a misnomer, though. It was called that after the staves that royals normally carried. In reality, like other TaoKen, it was more of a halberd, with a large, hooked axe blade on one end, and a long curved sword blade at the other end. Her armor proper, an EinLanzium and Mythril scale-plated cress/corset, was attached with much less fuss than the Genji, but she lacked a helmet. Krameil then grasped her 'scepter' and the Aegis Shield tightly in hand, and then joined Julia in the drop pods.

"Ah, Kira, ready to armor up, or are ya goin' in the buff today?" Kira shook her head lightly.

"Ha ha, Sweets, funny one, No, I'm gonna use the Titaness-X this time, it's been in need of a test run and I got the short straw."

"Ah, pity." Sweets returned quickly with a black and white mesh body suit. "Here, put this on and the techies will give you the rundown of how she works. You've also got some Dracos that it controls, so keep that in mind." Kira nodded and began stripping down while she walked, since the suit wouldn't fit if she was wearing anything at all under it. Vorela came, then passed right by Sweets, heading over to a section of the bay where Mount-type KriegsMaiden were getting their bardings, rider armor, attached. Another woman, with pebbly black skin, approached Sweets.

"Tiny needs her bardings, where should she go?" the woman asked.

"I, umm...over there." sweets replied, scared senseless at the sight of the woman, not for her nudity, or her build, but for who she was, the woman who in effect ensured the creation of the Nightmare Alliance. Walking away from sweets, a massive Earth Tyrant in tow was none other than THE Grim reaper herself. The Angel of the Pit, Lady Abaddon.

* * *

Back with Kira...

"Aw hell." she muttered, looking over the towering powered 'armor' with a figure that puts even Krameil to shame. easily over fifteen feet tall, this hulking beast of shimmering grey Adamantite and bright purple EinLanzium was clearly designed by a guy, easy on a mans eyes, yet able to kill everything nearby with a flick of the wrist. With shoulder-mounded rotary cannons built from no less than SIX Beshemoth cannons, twin battle katana blades, and, of all things, Boomers, speakers built to weaponize sound. It even had nearly a dozen spellchips situated to look like the badges of Old Earth Military officers.

"Sheesh! Do you girls think it's armed enough!?" Kira shouted, dumbfounded that ANYTHING this MASSIVE could be classified as 'Powered Armor’; it looked more like a wearable TANK!

"Actually...she's got jet boosters and a built in grenade launcher....among other things." Said the technician, a black and green, horned, and apparently bovine, judging by the snub nose and large bust, said. "She was designed to take on the Cyber Demons, so she aught to be more than enough to handle Chaos and his troops."

"Oh, lord...still, a bit much, huh?"

"Well, about that..."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"We kinda stripped her down, so she'd be lighter and you could keep up with the rest of the team."

"Keep up!? I'M THE FASTEST MEMBER!"

"She's kinda hard to get moving that fast, and it's hard to stop when you DO get her going fast. I mean, she weighs in at over six tons before activating the EinLanzium, and even then, it's still two and a half tons of heavy armor..." Kira simply slapped her face, unsure why she was arguing with a Catoblepas, one of the most notoriously stubborn KriegsMaiden, even when they're being friendly.

"Just...show me how to get into this thing and control it." The technician nodded.

"Follow me!" the techie said, moving around behind the massive machine. "Back here is a sensor it already has your fingerprint, all you need to do is to touch your hand and she'll open up. After than, all you gotta do is just think and she'll do it."

"That's it?" Kira said, surprised.

"Yep! All thought controlled, only active thoughts, so no subconsciously shooting an asshole victim or something." She clapped her hands, having remembered something. "The T-X also has a Draco mechanized draconic mount, fully customizable. We call her 'The Black Knight'. Pre-programmed with the Old Code of Chivalry, she'll follow that unless ordered by you, just you, and only you, and only while you're armored, to do something that breaks that code. So no accidental deaths or going haywire like Chaos did over a millennia ago."

"Goody, I hope you're right on that..." Kira said, shivering at the thought of having to deal with more 'thinking machines'. "Well...got any suggestions for customizing the Draco?"

"Depends, you want something to distract the Metal-Fiends? Or something powerful?"

"Sneaky, we're striking while they're distracted by YOU guys."

"Speed and stealth, gotcha, will be done in a moment." Kira nodded at the techie before they parted ways, Kira to try on the hulking beast of armor, and the technician to prepare The Black Knight for her first ride.

* * *

Over at the barding station, Vorela and Tiny arrived. Tiny shrank down from the massive tyrannosaurian form to her more humanoid form, rubbing a large scar that ran between her breasts before taking a seat on one of the fitting chairs. Vorela nodded at the new face and took a seat beside her.

"So, you new on the team?" Vorela said, hoping to start a conversation while they were scanned for the measurements.

"Yeah." Tiny grunted a slight, almost comical whistle passing with her voice, likely caused by the three-inch fangs that made up her necessary overbite.

"Name's Vorela, what's yours?"

"Mistress calls me 'Tiny'. Said it's cute." She growled in response to a few gigglers. "I'm not a big fan..."

"I can see why. That's almost as silly as Shammy's name...." Just then, a large, hyperactive chimera bounced past, her semi-humanoid faces all looking at Vorela curiously.

"You called, Milady?" she said, all four voices calling in unison.

"Nope, just telling Tiny here that she doesn't have the worst name out there."

"Tiny is a cute name!" Shammy's dragon head shouted, the goat responded "It's silly! you don' like it, do ya?" "I guess not." replied the Lion's head, "Well it's that or Biggun, especially with them bigguns!" shouted the snake. "Pervert!" shouted the other three heads, the four-headed female immediately arguing with herself over the matter.

"...Biggun? ....I'll stick with Tiny."

"Yeah...that may be fore the best." Vorela said the machines they sat on gave a loud ding, meaning that they were done and their armor was being made. As they stood, Shammy and another girl, another Catoblepas, possibly the technician's sister, took their places.

"So, are you joining the stealth mission, or are you attacking the front lines?" Vorela continued, changing the topic away from the silliness of names.

"Mistress and I are joining her former student. So whatever job this 'Julia' is doing, is likely what we'll be doing."

"The only Julia on board the Ganymeade is Julia Makai." Vorela said, slowed down by the surprise. "Who, exactly, IS your ‘mistress’?"

"My Mistress is Lady Abaddon." Vorela jumped in front of Tiny.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone." she said, confused as can be, "you're saying that THE Lady Abaddon, the ORIGINAL Angel of death, is ON THIS SHIP!?" As Tiny nodded, Vorela's head went spinning. "I...I need to get a vacation from this madhouse after this mission...."

"Ooooohhhhhh Ladies!" shouted one of the girls in the fitting room. "We've got your bardings ready, now we're just a waitin' for you!" Vorela turned around and started going to the fitting room, tiny followed suit, lifting the confused dragoness onto her shoulder as they entered.

"So, ladies." the fit-mistress said, the Drider's spindly spider legs prancing about easily, "Is there any sort of special additions you'd like to the base armors?" She showed holograms of their armors, with them wearing them.

"I'd like something to minimize injuries to my kittens." Tiny said, pointing out the scar that ran between her ample breasts. "I've had one close call, and that's one too many."

"OK, so a breastplate, would you like it solid, chain, mesh, or fabric?"

"Which keeps 'em from bouncing the most?"

"Solid."

"I'll take a solid breastplate, then, please." The seamstress nodded and two large bubbles of metal encased the formerly bare breasts of the hologram.

"And you, Lady Vorela?"

"Just the usual extras. Firebomb spellchips, Paling runes, twenty millimeter rotary autocannons, one on each hip and shoulder, an EinLanzium Levitation System, neck brace, and an underbust belly plate, ok?"

"Gotcha, the classics, eh?" The hologram of Vorela went from the bare bones 'metal saddle' and became decked out in more heavy metal than any sane man would shake a stick at.

"Ummm." Tiny began, "C-can I see what, all, we're allowed to have?"

"Sweetie, this is a big mission, you're allowed to use whatever you wish. Vorela's packing heat, but travelin' light. A good choice for a stealth mission."

""Then I’ll have what she's having...with my own thing...yeah."

"Will do!" the holograms changed again. Once the pair confirmed it all, the seamstress clapped her hands. "Well, your armor will be ready in a moment, just head into the next room and they'll suit ya up! But remember, if you've got a lot of different forms, and then be careful to remember you've got this on, or it'll get demolished mid-morph. We’ve lot a lot of expensive armor that way." The seamstress gave Vorela that weird look, that 'you know what ya did' look. Vorela ignored it and thanked the dryder with a hug before heading into the next room. Tiny, assuming it was proper hugged the seamstress as well...and received a groping with it.

* * *

Over with the Titaness-X, Kira had finally worked up the courage to open the machine.

"OK...so I just...climb in..." she said, unsure of her situation. The inside of the massive dragon/cat armor was almost pitch dark, save for a few dim blinking lights. Glancing inside, she finally saw why this thing was so big, the armor was the new Mythril plate, an alloy of Adamantite and EinLanzium. Its armor was also its muscles, and was easily a half a foot thick minimum, even thicker around vital areas. Kira shook her head lightly and climbed inside. The inner-workings of the machine were heavily padded, likely to ensure its comfort to the pilot. She slid her hands down the short tubes where they were meant, and did the same with her feet. Now she was stuck in a position akin to lying down on a bed. An extremely soft, yet very cold bed. The armor grabbed her tail and pulled it in, then shut behind her. Suddenly her body was struck by everything the armor itself sensed, like she was wearing a living creature.

"So...so this is the Titaness-X...The Biological Walking Tank. Holy crap this is gonna be fun." Just then, the technician returned, toting a large Draco, the Titaness-X's predecessor. The machine was built into a quadruped form, resembling a cat/dragon centaur. Silencer-Jets were attached to its rump, and broad gliding winds spread from its shoulders. This thing had truly been modified for getting the surprise attack on the enemy. Behind it were two Raven-type Dracos, the small, armless dragons apparently the sentries to go alongside the Titaness-X.

"So," the technician said, "How do ya like 'er?"

"She's nice. I like it."

"Got a name for 'er yet?"

"Yeah...From what I’ve seen...Odin sounds like a good name, after one of the Gods who fell during the early years of the Magic War."

"Well...what a coincidence." the technician giggled, "we just happen to have a new design of Laser Lance made just for the Titaness-X model. Been wondering what to call it...now we know."

"Gungnir...can I take it?" Kira asked. The technician nodded and had the long electrified spear brought in via crane. Kira, and by extension 'Odin', lifted the weapon with no difficulty. "Wow...it feels so...right." She twirled the blade and set it at her back, attaching it seamlessly.

"Oh," the techie said, "With this armor, you won't need a drop pod, just jump out the back when you got some room."

"Thanks, I'll remember that." and with that, Kira and her new toys went over to the Bombay doors and awaited the time to strike.

* * *

Meanwhile, back with Vorela and Tiny.

"Ow!" Tiny shouted, "Tight, too tight!" She was pulling at the belts meant to keep her armor snug, but the machines had mis-measured her chest below the breasts and made them too tight, constricting her ribcage. The seamstress pulled them loose and gave a hard tug, stretching the leather and Kevlar enough to make it just right. Vorela's fitting was going much smoother, enough that she was able to joke around for a bit.

"Does this make my boobs look big?" she asked, having put her chest belt too high, pushing up her bosom like a bra. The seamstress shook her head, but her assistants began giggling nonetheless. Vorela set her strap right, ensuring that it was snug against her body. Now fully dressed in the blackened charger's armor, the pair headed for the drop pods in which their masters were waiting.

Inside the pod tiny entered, Lady Abaddon was waiting, nude yet carrying a curved staff. They said nothing, but held one another close as the pod closed.

In Vorela's pod, Geno awaited his assistant and matron.

"So," Vorela said, "What kind of Metal-Fiends should we expect?"

"Strikers, definitely." Geno responded. "Don't be surprised if he pulls out Anarchies, Shredders, and RoadMasters too."

"Goody. Killer robot soldiers, tanks, ninjas, and cars...I'll handle any Dragonflies and Wyverns, since they'll likely be there too."

"Yeah...we'll deal with the aerial foes so the rest can handle Chaos himself." Vorela nodded and thy laid back, awaiting the drop into the hellish wasteland that was once the United States of America.

* * *

Suddenly, sirens began to blare throughout the bay. The drop pods all locked tight as the Bombay doors opened.

"Alright gang!" Sweets shouted, riding on Shammy's back, "We're dropping now! Hold on tight and try to keep on target!" A rush of cold wind and the blast of explosions, the quake of gunfire, and the screams of lasers filled the air. Sweets stayed behind, but Kira in the Titaness-X leapt from the edge. Behind her, dozens of the black, egg-shaped drop pods followed her. Below them all stood a massive, fortified factory churning out the demon-like murderous machines known as 'Metal-Fiends'. Surrounding the area was the forces of the Nightmare Alliance, heroes of the new world, bombarding it with everything they had.

"HUZZAH!" Julia shouted. Because right then, all of the drop pods burst open, revealing not only the riders within, but that they were built to surf the winds of battle, flying over the battlefield with ease. They looked like large surfboards now, but with the faint glow of electricity keeping the engines of the pods going, jetting them high onto the roof of the factory, past its massive walls, and beyond the artillery that kept the jets of the Old Earth Army from striking directly.

"Alright team, let's move out." Julia whispered over the KODex, the KriegsMaiden Omnipresent Index. "Keep silent and stealthy, our target is Chaos himself.

* * *

Inside the fortress factory, Chaos was curled up on the ceiling; metallic limbs and wings curled around him like a colossal bat. While his body was silent and still his mind was wild with activity.
Inside the armored carapace of his head, Chaos could instantly receive the millions of tiny reports and dispatch commands to his legions of unliving metal. A tiny flaw in the armor of a matriarch. A deflector shield recharging. The lack of ammunition within an infantry squad. Tiny details a mortal mind would easily miss. But not Chaos. He was programmed to never miss an opportunity and with ease he dispatched his troops to take advantage of even the smallest flaw in the enemy.
And there were so many delightful flaws in the enemy. It was their nature to make mistakes. That was the curse of being born alive. Being born and made of weak, putrid flesh.
One of his wyvern strike bombers alerted him to an atmospheric disturbance. Focusing his sensors skyward, Chaos detected several familiar signatures.
"Heh. Here they come. Oh Lady Abaddon...Julia...Vorela...Geno...your all too EASY to read!"
Suddenly across the battlefield, wyverns and dragonflies suddenly changed course and came at the heroes form two different angles, setting them in a cross fire of plasma lances and Ion streams. Below on the ground a group of RoadMasters armed with hydra anti-air auto cannons raced to intercept the heroes as they began evasive maneuvers...

* * *

"Oh shit." Julia said, knowing that while she was on the ground, everyone still in the air was at great risk. "Geno! Vorela! Aerial combat!"

On cue, the human called Geno leaped from his board, followed by Vorela spreading her wings. She swooped down and caught him, plopping him on the back of her neck in a quick flip. She then flew skyward and transformed, in a burst of fire. The 'creature' flying from that fireball wasn't a dragon and a human, but a blindingly fast fighter jet. With a ripping roar for battle, the red and platinum jet screamed off, leaving a trail of white flames, and the battle REALLY got into the swing, with Vorela tearing into the aerial Metal-Fiends with vicious abandon, aided by her Pilot's magic and skill.

As the rest came closer to a safe landing, Julia tapped the side of her right breast, activating her Beshemoth. With patience normally unseen, she began to pick off the tires of the RoadMasters below before they could get into range.

"I HATE Metal-Fiends!" Krameil shouted, leaping from her skiff and onto the factory's rooftop. "That bastard ALWAYS knows what's going on!"

"That's Chaos for ya." Julia said, waiting until everyone was safely on the roof to pull back. "OK Team, we're the best of the best, so don't give up, and don't get scared. This is the final battle of the Magic War. Let's make sure that this STAYS the final battle!" Around her, everyone gives a joyous salute. Krameil, Lady Abaddon, Tiny, Kira, Sweets, and Shammy all were ready to give their lives to protect the future of their races and of all life, sentient or otherwise. With that, they all stood at the door to the factory's roof, with Julia taking point, Kira in the hulking Titaness-X right behind her adoptive mother.

* * *

Inside the factory Chaos watched them try and silently enter his base. He couldn't help but feel a little bit of amusement as they beat back his forces.

"Geno's response time has increased by 0.29 seconds. Calibrate sights on wyvern’s to compensate. Julia's second shot was 0.21 millimeters of center, most likely the injuries she sustained on Galldir Prime have caused her to loose a bit of muscle memory. Noted. Hmm. They think this war is over. They have to understand how outmatched they are. And how this war isn't over yet." Chaos gave a mental command.

And on the battle field the Nightmare alliance was sent reeling.

Dust billowed up as three titanic moving fortresses of black metal and fury emerged form bunkers hidden beneath the earth. Supported by eight massive treads, the tops of the machines reached well over twice the height of a TaoKa warrior and each had four long cannons mounted on them. The cannons fired instantly, pounding the Alliance’s lines with a steady stream of city shattering ordinance. Where ever one of the devastating bombs hit a cyclone of fire and wind sucked up troops and vehicles alike. From countless smaller gun ports fired molecular flayers and "meat-eater" missiles. KriegsMaiden that had the misfortune of being too close to the bodies of the death-dealing machines found their flesh being boiled and their nervous systems set on fire by an unseen wall of death.

"Get too close and the microwave radiation and a Very special electronic pulse will kill you instantly. The radiation brings water within your cell walls to a boil and the pulse shorts out the feed form your neurons. At medium range the flayers will strip you down to stray carbon atoms and the Meat-eaters unleash a short lived virus that rots and devours your weak, pathetic flesh...survive all that...and you still have to deal with the "End of Days" cannons." Chaos chortled as his secret weapons were revealed.

"Now...how will you respond...? I wonder...”

* * *

Julia snarled, "Fuck, he's been tracking us." She motioned the troops forward and snapped her fingers. The motion enacted a simple spell that alerted Ganymeade high above. On cue, the titanic mechanized dragoness swooped in low, sending dust flying high. As she slowed to a halt, the massive silver dragon's form shifted, her nose changing from needle-like to blunt, and her six wings fusing to a pair. Before any of these massive tanks could fire, she unleashed a beam of destruction, smashing two of them quickly. All the while, Julia's team moved faster and faster through the factory, making a bee-line for Chaos' location in its depths.

"Hm... I see Ganymead has lost none of its potency. Fine. Let them take as many pawns as they wish. Speaking of pawns...ah there they are. Barreling through my internal defenses one after the other with all the stealth of a nuclear bomb. Idiots." Chaos watched as the team of heroes got closer and closer to his location.

"Just a bit more....closer...closer...almost there..."

Julia stops dead in her tracks; her gut feeling telling her something was off. Quickly, she turned right and everyone followed suit. As if on cue, a trap sprung, leaving the walls around them the only safe spot. Not that it did them much, since another trap hit, sending them dropping several levels through the factory....to meet face to face with Chaos himself. "...that was...unexpected."

* * *

"Hello Julia. Nice to see you again...hmm. When WAS the last time we had a heart-to-heart...ah yes. The Akregan Genocide." Chaos looked down at Julia and cocked his head. "You looked so adorable. Wailing and holding the last Akregan as she died in your arms...Two trillion souls and you barely saved ONE." His mouth opened and snapped shut.
"That was QUITE a failure on your part."

His six lenses glowed underneath the armored helm of his head as he looked at the assembly before him.

"Krameil? Is that you? You came all this way to see me...I'm touched. I thought you would be tending to the funerary rites of your little niece. She died so young, but was proud do the end. Right until she was nothing but bloody chunks."

He chuckled and shifted his weight, making a metallic scrapping noise as he did so.

But as he did, his body seemed to flicker for a moment...

Julia was silent, her face like stone. For once, she couldn't make a crack, no joke, no quip, no witty counter. Krameil, normally the calm one of the two, looked as if she had gone rabid, snarling to the point where her teeth bled. The rest of their ragtag group was prepared for anything, including beating a wise retreat for if Julia and Krameil snapped. Julia stepped forward, drawing her sword, and staring the mechanized monster right into his soulless eyes.

"Chaos...." she growled, her voice echoing within itself, like a legion of souls.”That day, you made a major mistake....now, you'll pay the price."

"You know...I ran this VERY situation through the simulations many, Many, MANY times. The results?" Chaos asked.

He slowly lowered himself down form the ceiling, unfurling his metallic body like some kind of hell spawned serpent. Metal plates clicked against one another as he spread his armored wings.

At full height, Chaos stood only 8 feet tall and his dark metal body was sleek and yet inhuman to behold. He was modeled to look like a devil from one of the old world religions, an effort to instill fear in the hearts of his enemies.

"I win." he said. And suddenly he vanished.

"You Lose." He was amongst the group in the time it takes a human heart to beat once. He unleashed a pulse of strange dark energy and the entire group of Elites went flying like rag-dolls.

* * *

The heroes screamed in pain, bashing against the walls of the factory's basement. None dead, but many sorely injured. Except for...one. Kira, in the Titaness-X, stood strong, unfazed by the blast. Without a word, she swung her spear and sent Chaos flying into a wall.

"That was for my family." she said, flashing to the horrors on Akregan as she laid there in Julia's hands. A thrust followed, sending a bolt of lightning into Chaos' chest.

"That was for my friends." Chaos attempted to stand and speak, but was silenced by an Adamantite fist to the jaw, the inhumanly dense metal unscratched, even as it caved in half of the metallic demon’s face.

"THAT was for Julia!" She raised Gungnir once more, charging it with energy and preparing to stab the unholy beast. "And this is for me!" She brings the javelin down, but...

"Not so fast." Chaos cackled, activating his new weapon, The Warp Spasm! "Maybe some other day, little one. But certainly not today." With the weapon activated, everyone and everything in Chaos' throne room vanished...from this point in space-time. For now.

Chaos opened his wings and activated his internal G-diffuser as gravity suddenly took hold of him again.
He was up, high above a familiar blue planet. His internal GPS system had to go back through centuries of memories before he found where he was.

Earth.

How many years had it been since he had been here? How many years had he regretted his mistakes?

Time to make it all right. And as an added bonus he would have his worst enemies there to bare witness to his triumph.

He looked down below him to see Kira's Titaness -x burst through the roof of an airplane.

That is assuming they survived the fall.



That's the end of Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End.

This link leads to a reference sheet of several major characters, and one KM breed[the V-raptor] for the novel. It's work safe.
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JJ_Malcolm
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Commande rof Squad Vigilante of the Nightmare Alliance, Chapterm
[ *  * ]
Strange new World

"Oooooooh shit!" Kira screamed, ramming through the roof of the airplane. Thankfully, she didn't land on anyone, though Julia and Shammy promptly landed on her with a pair of deafening thuds. "Ow." She mumbled, her two allies, definitely alive, both said. The others were nowhere in sight, and thy were surrounded by people staring at them in shock....and in a very big airplane who's equilibrium they just royally screwed up!

"Attention passengers," an oddly calm voice stated over the PA system, "We seem to have hit some major turbulence and will have to make an emergency landing. Please buckle your seatbelts and remain calm." At the end of the announcement, a light ding was heard, and a light showing a buckled seatbelt came on.

"Ooooowwwwww." Julia said, sitting up and accidentally toppling over backwards into some traveling priest’s lap. "...sorry, sir." She tried to pull herself upright again, only to fall once more and give up. "Sweets." she called, "You know how to fly, right? Go to the cabin, just in case..."

"Gotcha boss." the tiny succubus yipped, crawling back to her feet and stumbling about. Needless to say, the sight of a giant robot, a giant catgirl, and a tiny succubus all crashing into a plane that was itself about to crash....well, the screaming wasn't too far behind. Aaaaand cue screaming!

"MONSTERS! DEMONS! WHORES!" The myriad screams and insults didn't make an already bad situation any better, the following panic only made the already shaky airplane even more unstable.

* * *

And needless to say the last Akregan in her Titaness-X was not making it any easier ether.

The hulking death machine bust the back of the plane wide open and the sudden rush form the vacuum started to suck terrified humans out the whole.

Kira grabbed men and women as best she could, and maneuvered her giant mecha so that its body started to seal the breech.

"Oh shit. OH SHIT!! OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!" She screamed as the plane lurched around.

Thankfully, everyone was grabbed, including the guy who flew out the hole, thanks to a prehensile tail. That...wasn't really helping, as the Pilots were both running past her, screaming about a 'Monster on the Window'....their description of 'feline, snake for a tail, three heads, and large breasts, could have only been one thing.

"SHAMMY!" Sweets screamed, not knowing the PA was turned on, "Quit messin' around and get in here! I can't see to land the plane!" Aaaaaand cue more screaming!

* * *

Far below the mayhem, a young man was riding home...on a bicycle. Just a strolling on down the highway, completely unaware that a massive passenger plane was about to land right next to him on the lonely stretch of highway. All he DID know was that if these eggs broke on the way back, his mom was gonna kill him.

Sweets managed to pull the plane out of a tailspin and into the less "doomed" slide down a highway.

Sparks and metal fly as the plane lands, bits and pieces of it falling off as it skids down the empty road.

The young man looks up just in time to see a huge object come barreling out of the darkness...and it stops...just inches of hitting him.

He breathes a sigh of relief.

Then is trampled by a stamped of human cattle, as the terrified passengers rush out of the plane.

Once the stampede is done...the young man lies there...moaning and groaning to himself. Before the last occupants of the plane approach him...

* * *

"Sheesh." Julia said, hopping out of the plane, "Some people just don't get the meaning of 'Calm Down'..."

"You mean like you?" Sweets muttered, "You seriously could have stopped screaming at everyone, you just scared 'em more."

"Yeah and-He coulda-But wait!-they were-stopped star-there's more!-really scared-ing at my tits." Shammy....said?

[Translation from Chimaeran: Dragon Head: Yeah, and they were really scared. Lion Head: He coulda stopped staring at my tits. Goat Head: But wait! There's more! Snake Head: *silent the whole time, for once*]

A series of loud thuds were heard, and Kira, in the Titaness-X, leaped from the plane, setting down the man she grabbed with her tail, "Sorry about that."

"Oooohhhhhh..." A groan came from the ground. Julia knelt down and lifted the battered boy, "Did someone get the license and pineapples from that fruitcake in the bayou?" He babbled, before losing consciousness again.

"That...was weird." Julia muttered, before sitting down on the highway asphalt, "Looks like we wait..."

The young man lies there for a little while. Before the cold pavement get to him and he stirs.

"Nnghh...Fuck...what the hell...?" He mutters as he slowly takes stock of his situation. He looks around.

He's lying on the highway next to a broken down plane. Okay. Wow.

His bike is missing and so are the groceries in it. Crap.

His back hurts form lying on the pavement. Double crap.

There appear to be a multitude of strange women next to him with inhuman features such as, but not limited to, multiple heads, fangs, claws, animalistic features, tails, heavy sci-fi weaponry.

Wait, what??

* * *

Jesse pinched his arm very hard, enough to go cross-eyed from it. "OK...I need to lay off the tacos." he muttered, taking another look at the group, only to see Shammy's chest slam into his face. "YIPE!"

"Yaaaay!" Shouted Shammy's snake head, "He's Okay!"

"Not for long!" Sweets said, attempting to reign in the hyperactive chimera.

Meanwhile...not far enough away....

Chaos opens the ancient seal and steps into a factory. Hidden over a hundred miles underground in the earth's mantle, was a secret place he once knew. The first factory of the Metal-Fiends.

Back when he had been but newly forged, he was rash and violent. He made mistakes. Unacceptable errors. They had cost him this bastion. This very first citadel. All the data of the alien race the Metal-Fiends have first stole the technology form. All the advanced technology that was comparable to anything he wielded a thousand years from now.

He was not going to make the same error. He walked over to the command cog, a massive round disk with alien seals and symbols etched into the metal. He stood in the ring and gestured.

The machines were made of sterner stuff then the materials the humans above used. Even after hundreds of years they activated without pause, powered by the heat of the magma that flowed around the factory walls.

He quickly reviewed the schematics of the facility...and found that in several areas the technology has decades behind the level of technology of the future.

His metal fangs clicked as he looked at the active factory in malicious glee.

"Time for a few upgrades."

* * *

"Hey, kid," Julia said, "You OK?" she began to gently poke the, now unconscious, human boy, wanting to make completely certain he wasn't exactly dead just yet; he might know something they'd need to learn.

The boy slowly got up and looked up at Julia.

".....I think I hit my head harder then I thought....I'm having a lucid dream about large breasted humanoid chicks...wait is it a dream?"

He slowly gets up and looks around.

"Crashed plane, lots of furry chicks with massive gazongas. Yup. Looks like those bean burritos I had at Taco Hell are working their magic...but...at least it’s a NICE dream instead of a dream about Chippendale pirate ninjas..." He looks back at Julia.

"Hello figment of my imagination...and HELLLOOO figment of my imagination's breasts!" he dove right into Julia's cleavage.

"Chippendale pirate ninjas?" Julia muttered, petting the young boy gently.

* * *

Julia snickered, purring happily. Apparently she realized something the boy hadn't. Something he figured out rather fast. Normally, he wouldn't LITERALLY be able to feel what he was doing, not even the sensation. But this? Every jiggle, every strand of fur, every flexing muscle. He felt it, and it hit him like a Ton of Bricks!

"Ummm....you're...not figments of my imagination, are you?" He asked, suddenly realizing the major mess he must have dug himself into.

"Nope, we're not." Kira said, her normally quiet voice booming from within Odin.

"But, don't let that stop ya." Julia purred, grabbing the boy into a tight hug, apparently enjoying it all.

"Do you know where and when we are?" Sweets asked; sitting side-saddle on Shammy the chimera's back.

"We're just outside of Ashley Illinois, about...3:00 in the afternoon." Jesse replied; his voice ever so slightly muffled from Julia’s bust.

"But what DATE? Month, year, and day...y'know?" the tiny succubus clarified.

"Oh. Well, June 15th, 2012."

"Oh....fuck." the quartet [septuplet?] of girls snarled in unison.

* * *

"..Ummm...is that bad?" Jesse mumbled form within Julia's ample breasts.

"Very." Julia said.

"Wait." Krameil interrupted, and then whispered into Julia's ear.

"OK, first, we need to ask another question." Julia said, "What's your name?"

"Umm....I'm Jesse James Malcolm, my friends call me JJ."

The metal hatch of the Titaness opens up and a smallish girl with pink cat ears sticks her head out. "I'm Kira!"

"I'm Krameil, queen of the TaoKa." Krameil offered.

"Julia. Hi." Julia stuffed his head in between her breasts again.

"Sweets over here." Gushed the small succubus.

".....Lady Abaddon." Intoned the grim reaper with tits.

"HI!! We're SHAMMY!!" Shouted all four of the chimera girl's heads.

" I’m feeling conflicted. On one hand...this is AWESOME. On the other hand...I miss my bike... " JJ thought.

* * *

JJ blushed and tried, albeit not very hard, to pull himself from Julia's breasts. "So....where the blue blazes did you gals come from?" he asked, as calmly as you'd expect.

"Would you believe we're supernatural super soldiers from the future sent back in time to track down and kill a deadly demonic robot bent on the total annihilation of all life in the universe starting with planet earth?" Julia said, loosening her grip on the boy.

"I'd say you're insane but I think that goes without saying." JJ replied, petting Julia's head gently.

"Be that as it may JJ was it..." Krameil continued. "We are real. We are not insane...well...most of us aren't....and your world is in very, VERY real danger."

"What kind of danger?" JJ asked.

"An ancient and insidious evil has come to your world...it is intelligent...it is ruthless...and it cannot be stopped..." Krameil said gravely.


Meanwhile....

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE UPDATE IS INCOMPATABLE?!?! HOW...WHAT...FUCKING WINDOWS!! DAMN YOU MICROSOFT!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!" Raged Chaos deep underground.


Back upstairs.


"...Julia...why are you crying?" Asked Kira.

"...some where...something really funny is happening...and I am not privy to witness it." She sobs and buried JJ into her boobs for comfort again.

"Okay." JJ said, pulling his-self from Julia's grip a second time, "What the hell is she talking about?"

"Well...Julia doesn't have a 'Fourth Wall'...." Krameil said, blushing lightly.

"A...fourth wall? Does this look like a cartoon to you?"

"No, it's a book actually. Magic-users of her caliber are capable of seeing beyond dimensional barriers and knowing about worlds linked too their own, along with how they're linked..."

"So...wait....we're in a book?"

"Yep."

"...I'm going home, cya ladies." JJ then abruptly hopped down and began wandering in the general direction of his home town, mildly annoyed, extremely confused, and very pleased with himself. Ever the mindless oaf, though...he didn't even notice that the entire group was following him. The entire fifteen mile walk.....

* * *

JJ Got back to his home town of Ashley and was about to head towards the corner store for some more groceries. When he feels a pair of boobs clap onto ether side of his head.

"Hi." Says Julia.

"BWAH!!!! Um..." JJ looks up, shocked and confused, "You're....you're out in public....is that...normal?"

"Depends..." Julia says, before getting pulled around a corner by Krameil.

"Shh!" Krameil hisses, "We CANNOT let people know about us! We're in the past! If we let ANYONE know about us, who KNOWS what could happen?"

"We're also dangerously close to the beginning of the Magic War." Julia countered, "If anyone finds out, we'll just got a head start of preparing everyone AGAINST the Metal-Fiends. ...plus, seriously, HOW do you plan on hiding us? What about Abaddon?" as if to answer her, Abaddon, shrunk down to barely five feet tall and looking like a dark-skinned, white-haired humanoid, walked right past Julia, helping JJ to carry the myriad of groceries that were to replace the ones stolen when someone stole his bike.

"...Magic war? Metal-Fiends? The HELL are you people talking about? Okay...you know what. This is a long story. And I'm hungry...so your all coming with me to my house...then you can explain things. If you can keep out of sight." JJ said with exasperation.

How was he going to explain this to his mom?

* * *

Julia, Krameil, Sweets and Shammy followed the ratty-haired young man home, careful not to step in broken glass or various other hazards on the roads there, thanks to the lack of proper sidewalks. It was getting dark, and JJ was getting more nervous and frightened with every step towards their house.

It was in the distance, a two-story white building, and out in front...a sight that filled JJ with pure, undiluted terror....his mother. Waiting for him. And very mad.

"I'm doomed." The young man said the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Even Julia's hairs were standing on end.

"...JJ." Said the gorgeous human woman. Her voice was so cold it might as well be an Antarctic wind. "I can't help but notice that you’re bringing home and train of freakish women who are impossibly huge."

"Ma'am...I believe I can explain..." Krameil began. The red haired woman pointed at her sharply.

"SHUT IT."


Krameil finds herself hiding behind Julia...shivering in terror...what the HELL was this woman?

"Mu-mu-mom, I c-c-can explain." JJ stuttered, before stepping back, "I...you see..."

"I already saw the news, son." Shera said, still glaring.

"You...so then....Ummm..."

"Yes, I saw how your little friend there caused a plane to nearly crash on the exact same highway you were using. I TOLD you to take my car and thought you did, Then your dad got home, in my car, and you were nowhere in sight! Where the hell have you been!?"

"Um, about the plane." Sweets said, only to be stopped by a glare so demonic even the little demoness nearly wet herself. "Nevermindforgetiwashereiwantmymommy." The entire group, well, all except Julia, just stood there, shaking. Warriors who had faced down eldritch abominations, killer robots, interstellar conquerors, and the end of the world as we know it...were sent stiff with fear...by an attractive, yet unremarkable human woman....but why?

* * *

"JJ you are in SO much trouble. No desert tonight!" She then turned to the war women.

“And YOU." She points at Julia. "The black fur-ball with huge gazongas. Here. Now."

"Heh, your pretty gutsy lady. No one--." Julia was about to snark.

"NOW."

Julia was in front of her and stood stock still.

"YES'M!!"

Julia leaps out in front and salutes, "Julia Bloodgrave Makai, captain of the fourth division, leader of Squad Vigilante of the Nightmare Alliance reporting for duty, SIR!" needless to say...a lot of people are left confused.

"Stand down Ta-Tas for brains." Shera growled. "I don't give two rat's shits. Did you blow up a jet?"

"NO Ma'am!" Julia said.

"You didn't."

"NO MA'AM!" Julia said again, a small bead of sweat running down her forehead.

".......okay. You can have desert." Shera nodded.

"Um...mom? Giant cyborg cat girl?" JJ said.


"Honestly honey you need to stop over reacting...and YOU all are putting on some clothes! This is Ashley not New Orleans!" Shera pointed at the KriegsMaiden again.

"Wait...how do you...but...how butbutbut..." JJ stuttered.

"No buts, kiddo." "Julia replied, walking into the house, followed by Krameil, Sweets, and Shammy.

"Oh hell my life just got a whole lot weirder."

"Jesse!" Shera shouted, "These girls will be sleeping with you! We don't have any room anywhere else!"

"Fffffuuuuu-waitaminute, that's a GOOD thing!" J hopped into the house, giggling happily. "Yay!"

"Jesse you’re giving them the bed. And if you even THINK of doing something indecent I will peel your foreskin with this here potato peeler."

"Meep!! YES'M!!" JJ yelped.

"You. Lord Queen of TA-TA land c'mere into the kitchen." Shera gestured to the kitchen. "I have a few things to discuss with you."

“Yes scary lady..." Krameil followed Shera into the kitchen...which smells of pot roast, roasted potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes and green beans.

"Indecent?" JJ asked, "I thought we got over the whole pedophile paranoia thing? I mean seriously, what the hell was that...supposed to...oh." JJ looked down to sweets, whom one couldn't help but she barely reached JJ's hip, anyone judging age wholly on height would mistake her for a mere child. And yet, anyone who gave more than just a glance could see her black and red demonic wings, her barbed tail, cat-like 'secondary' ears, and, of course, her porn-star physique.

Shera gestures for Krameil and Julia to sit down at the table. The Queen of TaoKa looks doubtfully at the flimsy wooden chairs but complies. And she is shocked to find that it can support her weight.

Shera goes to check on her pot roast. "WHY...are you here?" She asks.

"Ummmmwut?" Julia said, confused as can be.

"Well, uh...we kinda got sent back in time while trying to hunt Chaos." Krameil said, answering when Julia couldn't. Suddenly, JJ crawled into the room, his pants down to his ankles.

"HELP! SHE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!" He screamed, only for Sweets and Shammy to pull him out again, by his pants, and up the stairs to his room, with him shout 'Ow! Ow! Ow!' the entire way, each punctuated by the sound of his chin slamming against the stairs.

"Oooookaaaaayyyy...." Krameil mewed.

"Me thinks your son is gonna need a massage come mornin'." Julia chuckled.

"OI!! UNLESS I SEE A RING ON THEIR FINGERS YOU’RE NOT KNOCKING THEM UP BOYO!!" Yells Shera after the trio. Otherwise...she seemed rather unfazed by the entire odd situation.

She returned to tending her pot roast.

"Now...again....WHY...ARE....YOU...HERE? Chaos has been sealed for good. So the truth or some one is gonna get the boot" She says...and then Krameil and Julia feel a deadly edge in her voice and a chill in the air. The two TaoKa’s hairs stood on end.

No question...some how...this woman knew about magic.

* * *

"Ma'am, I don't think you heard us right..." Julia said, "We are form the FUTURE! Chaos went BACK IN TIME! Was Krameil not clear?"

"Apparently not." Krameil said, though in a tone suggesting that Shera didn't make any mistakes, clearly scared....wait, WHY would they be scared? Was there something they knew about her??? ...probably something about knowing the past already.

"................thought so. You're young bloods. Not from my legion or any of the others. Sorry I yelled at you kids. Hot coco or tea or coffee? We don't have any booze in this house I'm afraid." Shera seemed to calm down. Her face held a hint of sadness.

"How do you know magic?" Julia asked. "That was a HELL of an aura you just put out."

"Language young lady or no apple pie for YOU." Shera retorted sharply. She brought over two steaming mugs. "And I should think it would be obvious. I know about Chaos. I know about you KriegsMaiden...though you're not a breed I recognize." Shera says as she sits down.

Krameil and Julia look at each other. There was no way.

"You....you couldn't be..." Krameil stuttered.

"...their all dead..." Whispered Julia.

"...not all of us." Shera said. "Some of us went into...an active hibernation. We shut down all our powers and siphoned off just enough to survive as ordinary...but ageless...humans." Shera smiled sadly.

"You’re a war...no...Your one of THE Mage-knights. The first generals of the magic war!" Julia gasps.

"And...Probably the last one who’s not asleep." Shera said and sipped her coffee.

"Nice guess." Shera said, smiling, "I prefer the world NOT know I had any aliases, let alone ones like 'Joan'. My family has little, enough respect in this town, I'd rather they not think I'm as insane as my husband and son."

"Yeah. Ya got a point there. Oh, is that sweet tea?" Julia asked, holding up a comically tiny teacup. Krameil got a proper glass instead for herself.

"As for us, well...let's just say we know a few things about time-travel...." the warrior-queen giggled lightly.”And don't worry about sweets, She-"

"I know. Trust me, I know her from my own past. She made my armor. Quite the blacksmith for a midget succubus, huh?"

"That's putting it lightly. She made my powered armor from scrap!" Julia said; rather proud of the samurai-like powered armor she wore.

"So...if Shortcake is here from your future then for real. So what’s going on and how is that even possible?' Shera asks.

"Chaos is free in our time." Julia started. "And he was wrecking shit for a long while. We managed to corner him. But he uses a new weapon and now here we are in the past."

"...well...this stinks. After I went to all the trouble of sealing his ugly carcass back after World War Two." Shera grumbles.

* * *

"According to the history books," Julia said, "and our personal experiences, long story, he's been 'awake' since World War Two, but was trapped until something went SERIOUSLY wrong on December 12th, 2012 at 8:00 AM on the spot. WHAT that was, we still don't have a clue, and Intel from the dawn of the Magic War is sketchy due to the entire bloody planet going to hell. All we know is, he was seen by the public at that exact moment and declared war on the human race, and the shit hit the fan."

"Well....shoot. That gives us about seven months before he gets free AGAIN and starts causing....Chaos. Jackass earned his name well." Grumbles Shera. "Okay. Nothing for it. I guess I'll give you young bloods a hand."

"Welcome to the team!" Julia says excitedly.

"..Heh. Thanks. Do I get a t-shirt and hat?" Shera asked with a smirk. A second later a cotton t-shirt and a hat that said "Vigilante 4 life!"

"...where were you keeping those?" Krameil narrowed her eyes and looked at Julia. Julia's grin got wider. "And where did you even get them printed??"

Julia chuckled before pulling another set from between her breasts, "I always keep spares for emergencies! They're chain mail!" She earns a whack on the noggin from Krameil for the joke.

"Silliness aside, we're not the 'young bloods' you think we are. We ARE from the time the Magic War ended." the regal maiden said.

"And when's that? Ten years from now?" Shera responded, "I doubt it could last that long."

"Try a THOUSAND years from now..." Julia piped up, "Hell, even the months leading up to the Magic War's official beginning was supposedly pure mayhem for Earth, even before the strike went full force. Everything happened in a flash."


Upstairs, with JJ

"OUT! OF! MY! ROOM!" He shouted, poking at the tiny succubus and her pet chimera.

"But we just wanna help!" sweets said, tugging at the strings of her too-damned-teeny bikini.

"I don't play those games! OUT!"

"But I ju-!"

"NOW!!!!]/b]"

"Meanie!"

"...I am not a meanie."

"Yes you are!"

"No, it's more accurate to call me a coward...because if I let you have your twisted fun, I'm the one who gets a boot to the head and a belt across the ass!"

"Oh....kinky!"

"Dammit."

* * *

"...a thousand years." Shera said. Her face was blank.

"Yes." Said Julia.

"...and Chaos is not only STILL alive, but presumably back here on earth to kick-start his psycho rampage again with gusto." Shera added.

"Yes." Said Krameil.

"So you had hundreds of years and god knows what super high tech, star-trek thingamajiggers at your finger tips and you STILL couldn't kill the metal-chuckle head." Shera said.

"Err...um...." Julia and Krameil looked at each other.

"I'm not blaming you girls. If anything if makes me feel like less of a failure. I knew that jerk was hard to kill but now he's more like Adamantite clad cockroach on steroids." Shera sighed. "All right....what can I do to help?"

Krameil pulls out a tiny little disc. "This is a history book on the Magic War...you might recognize a few of the names. Let's just say, THAT is how you can help...."

"MOOOOOM! SHE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME AGAIN!" JJ screamed in such a high pitch one would think he was a girly girl.

"Bone up, son!" Shera shouted, taking the disc, "You need to lose your virginity some day."

"NOT THIS WAY!!!!"

"Yeah, you definitely know about KriegsMaiden...." Julia said, raising a brow.

"Oh for the love of Pete....She's a succubus son! Just lie down and she'll do the rest!" Yells Shera.

"I DON'T WANNA!!"

"*sigh*.....Don't suppose one of you ladies could help him with his little problem?" Shera asked. Krameil and Julia blink.

"Um...ma'am...he's your son..." Krameil started...

"MEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEE!!" Julia waved her hand in the air.

"Sold to TIT-ania, queen of nut-jobs. Go get him." Shera says at she activates the disc.

"WAIT FOR ME, SWEETS! I'LL HOLD HIM DOWN FOR YA!" Julia screamed, rushing up the stairs with house-shaking thuds.

"NOT ANOTHER ONE!"

"OK, maybe you both sleeping on the top floor ISN'T such a wise idea..." Shera said, reading over the data in the disc.

"Oh goddess no." she whispered, coming across the names of those who fought during the Magic War. "You...you can't be serious."

"Sad to say, ma'am, I am." Krameil responded. "We need to train your son. Me, Julia, Sweets, and Kira."

"Who's Kira?"

"She's someone your son may be a bit closer to enjoying....she's outside trying to find a good hiding spot for her walking tank, the Titaness-X. Odin."

"O....Odin? Seriously?"

"She chose the name, ma'am, not me."

* * *

"..................NO." Shera said.

"Pardon?" Krameil asked.

"My son is NOT going to be a soldier for some insane war a thousand years from now." Shera said with a voice of steel. "No way."

"Ma'am you have too...” Krameil was about to say.

"NO. I have lived and breathed battle for ages uncounted. Do you HONESTLY think...I would subject my little boy to that? Especially against a monster like Chaos?" Shera continues.

"We...I don't think we could stop it now even if we wanted to ma'am." Krameil said softly.

"....time and space be damned...my little boy....oh gods...” Whispered Shera as she slumped back into her chair.

"Ma'am....he won't be alone." Krameil said, resting a hand on her shoulder, "Far from it. Keep looking. Most of the people on that list are humans. The Magic War isn't 'secret'. It's out there, and EVERYONE will join. Those who don't either run away or die."

"And he's guaranteed to die if he joins." Shera replied, her voice solemn and sad.

"Continue reading the records." Krameil whispered. Those same names, so close to her son, remained in the second year. And the third. And beyond, throughout the war, all of those names remained the same, unchanged, unchallenged. Always at the top of the list. ...impossible. These had to be fallen soldiers. Right?

"Oh...oh my." was all she could say...those weren't fallen soldiers. Those were commanding generals. Those names, like a voice from her past... Geno Raithin. Xedina Fairlady, Thomas Baxter, Derek Greymore, Samuel Montana, and so many others....her son wasn't going to be a casualty...but could she take that risk? SHOULD she take that risk???? Her son certainly didn't seem 'Hero' material....

In the bowls of the earth Chaos felt like smiling.

The updates and upgrades were complete. Now to begin manufacturing. With a thought the ancient factory when to work. Drawing raw materials form the molten metal that flows around the alien facility, the factories begins to manufacture components, parts and frames...and then into whole and ready war machines.

"There...now...to find the Fiends." He chuckled.

"Four elemental forces. Four invisible prisons. Four unstoppable Demons." Chaos mused, "Now where would my old creators hide my former allies? Hidden for so long, it's only a matter of time that they are found..." The mechanical monster then activated a new program on the ancient computer, scouring through it for elemental disturbances, something unnatural...

"Ohohooo!" it laughed, that mechanical screech holding a mirthful tone, "Ah Lich, my old friend! To be hidden in such a place so easily. Well, it appears that I've got to take a quick trip!" As the Metal-Fiend commander prepared for his trip, the location of the Cyber-Demon known as 'Lich' was still displayed by the computer screen. It showed a tiny town in North America...Ashley Illinois.

* * *

Back in Ashley....

"I need to think this through. Please...give me a few days." Shera said. Her face was unreadable.

"..That if fair enough ma'am." Krameil agreed. Her heart went out to the ancient warrior-wizard. As a mother herself, she had often been terrified of putting her son into harms way. What mother didn't?

Upstairs there was the sound of a scuffle.

"TOUGH ME THERE AGAIN AND MY 'NO HITTING WOMEN' CODE IS AS GOOD AS GONE!!"

"....DON'T BE GAY SON!! I'LL NOT HAVE A FRUITY-BUTT-HUMPER UNDER THIS ROOF!!" Shera yells at the ceiling, giggling under her breath.

"I guess I'm not the only one who guessed Sweets wasn't after sex...yet." Krameil purred.

"I knew it from the start, but still." Shera chuckled, "He's gonna have to get used too it, if he really does have the Wargene."

"I'M NOT GAY! I JUST DON'T WANNA GET RAPED!!!!" JJ screamed, keeping Sweets away with his feet, while furiously gnawing on Julia's arm for dear life, somehow having kept his blasted pants on this whole time.

"Umm...ma'am...maybe someone should go help him?" Krameil asked, wondering if this attitude was normal for humans from this time...then again, humans were so confusing too her at times. The door opened, and in popped a certain pink-haired near-human catgirl, dressed down to her skivvies...and oh my LORD what a beauty she was! Standing just shy of seven feet tall, she had a lovely hourglass figure, soft, perky breasts, a nice curvy buttocks, and just below the skin were the powerful muscles her race, the Akregan, were known for, the muscles that gave her their blinding running speed and endurance. She 'wore' very little, just some shoulder-length finger less gloves, and hip-length stockings she used for protection in combat. Beyond that, she only wore the sash she kept her sword, a katana-like blade, sheathed in.

"Kira!" Krameil shouted, "Mind doing me a favor?"

"I'd rather my son get the jist ahead of time what would happen." Shera responded.

"Jist of what?" Kira asked, and then she heard more screams. "Oh lord, you didn't leave Sweets and Julia in the same room as a human again, did you!?" She scrambled up the stairs to help the young man from winding up getting exactly what he was trying to avoid, not mentioning serious injuries from said act.

* * *

JJ was up on the top shelf of his bookshelf...swatting at Sweets, Shammy and Julia with a broom.

"BACK!! BACK YOU DEVILS!!" He squealed as Julia reached up at him.

"Now come on down and this doesn't hafta get...” JJ bopped her on the nose with the broom. Some dust kicked off it and went up her nose.

"Oh...AA...AAA...AAAAAAA...AAAACHOOOOO!!" Julia sneezed and fell down. Hard. Her massive frame broke much of the floor, but thankfully the house was sturdy enough to hold her. Well, her upper body, at least. Her ass and tail were peeking through to the living room below, a pile of drywall and insulation where she likely would have landed.

Kira ran into the room...and right into the hole Julia had just made. She landed on her adopted mom with Squeak.

In the Kitchen Shera raised an eyebrow. "....You’re paying for that by the way."

"You heard 'er, mom." Kira said, leaping from her mother's belly and up through the hole, returning with Sweets and Shammy in hand, leaving JJ to retain his virginity for a while longer. "Sorry about that, Ma'am. My mom is...a heavy-weight."

"You don't need to insult me..." Julia responded, though her smile showed she knew damned well what Kira meant by it.

"Girls." Krameil said, her tone brimming with authority, "I think it'd be wise to at least try to fix the gigantic hole in the ceiling...preferably WITHOUT trying to bed the nearest male." The two pouted, but went to work at cleaning up the mess made in the living room and repairing the damage as best as they can.

Once the damage had been more or less repaired, Shera called everyone to the dinner table.

There was a feast of roast beef, several kinds of potatoes, gravy, green beans and from the smell of it, fresh cake in the oven.

"...Wow! Mom! Seven different kinds of potatoes? A new record!" JJ complimented his mom.

"Thanks hun. And sorry about having multiple demonic monster girls trying to rape you earlier. I only wanted to get it out of the way now. Before things get nasty." Shera said.

"...wait...what do you mean out of the way?"

"These girls are all horny little bunnies and they're gonna wanna have sex with you ether way son."

"Only sweets." Julia said. "I was just running with the joke."

"Hey! It's in my nature." the diminutive succubus replied.

"You should still behave yourself." Krameil countered.

"You're all insane." JJ deadpanned.

"And you're any better?" Shammy asked.

"Shut up and eat." Shera sighed, nibbling on roast beef.

".....Mom?" JJ raises a hand.

"Yes honey?" Shera looks at him.

"Whyyyyyyyyy are you cool with multiple monster girls coming in our house?"

"Don't be raciest dear."

"MOM. MONSTER. GIRLS...Who tried to RAPE me."

"Only because you’re so good looking honey."

"...MOM!!! MONSTER!! GIRLS?!?"

"They prefer the term KriegsMaiden JJ."

"Fine! KriegsMaiden! Whatever! Wait....why the hell are YOU telling me this stuff? And why am I so badly freaking out? ....ok. Now I'm confused."

"You do tend to leap before you look, son."

"Yeah." Sweets giggled, "did you really think I was gonna try and rape you?"

"Um....yes." JJ replied.

"Naw! I wanted to check out your protection." She smiled...then rephrased herself. "Armor. Y'know, padding, plates, chain mail, things like that."

"I....don't wear armor."

"None?"

"Not a bit."

"THAT, my boy, is gonna change!" Sweets stood tall and proud, but seriously looked like a kid in that chair. "But first, Food!" She sat back down and grabbed her fork, bouncing happily.

"Oivey."

"...Son. It’s...A little complicated." Shera said.

"Complicated doesn't explain all this." JJ says.

"...I promise I will explain it all...but give me a few days. So bare with our new guests for now son." Shera says with a tired look on her face.

JJ lays his face in his hand and sighs. "OK, mom. For you."

"That's my boy." Shera says, smiling lightly.

"So....food now?" Julia says, "We'll work out who sleeps where later on."

"Agreed." Shera responded, "Let's eat and enjoy the evening. Er...what's left of it? Wait, where's your bike, JJ?"

"I....would rather not talk about it."

* * *

Mean while...

"....and investigations into the cause of Flight C67 are still on going. Reports of monsters are right now being chalked up to hysteria but there is no way to answer how such a badly damaged plane was able to land with out..." The video feed cut out.

Chaos considers the information. It was no surprise to him that the KriegsMaiden had survived. If they had died form something as simple as a plane crashing he would have lost all respect he had for them...and he wouldn't have any fun.

"So...you’re in Ashley." He reasoned. There where no other settlements around the area. And once they realized where and WHEN they were, they would seek to re-supply and regroup. Sweets and Julia would get to work making repairs no doubt.

So....how best to cook the bitches?

As Chaos planned unopposed, the Squad vigilante was doing what they do best. Being sluts and arguing over silly things.

"I want the top bunk!" Julia shouted, puffing up her chest.

"No, I want the top bunk!" Krameil countered, her own breasts knocking the wind out of her smaller friend.

"THERE IS NO TOP BUNK!" JJ shouted; pointing out that he only had ONE bed. "I'll sleep on the couch, you BOTH can sleep on the bed, and Sweets and Shammy can sleep in the nieces' bedroom, since they're not spending the night. I hope." The four nearly-naked non-human girls pouted and glared at JJ, whom had already stripped to his underwear, only to find that Kira, completely naked, was sleeping on the couch where he'd planned to sleep....

"...dammit."

"Ooooooh man..." JJ grumbled as he looked at the sexy pink haired cat girl. She was gorgeous and his size as well. Unlike the others who where super sized monster girls...

Kira seemed almost human. And the only one besides the titanic Krameil who hadn't tried to molest him.

He looked around.

The other KriegsMaiden where upstairs. His mom was in her room.

"...well...she probably wouldn't mind if slept with her...in a strictly platonic manner of course." He smiled to himself and grabbed a spare blanket...

Kira opened one eye and giggled, "Howdy, sleepyhead." she said, quietly. "C'mon, hop into bed and let's get some sleep." JJ blushed, gulped, but did as requested, hoping to avoid getting her ticked off or anything.


[Author's Notes: Two images exist of sweets and Kira, however, due to their nature, links will only be provided via PM and only to members age 18 or older. Please don't lie about your age, I tend to dislike being lied too]
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Webmistress L
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Constructive crit? Okay, can do.

As a general rule, I advise that you run it through a spell and grammar check. Sure, you might miss stuff but that's what a proof reader can pick up on. Still, when I had a glance through this there were a number of basic spelling and grammatical errors I could see. An example:

Quote:
 
"Oi, Sweets!" Julia shouted, "I'mma gonna need my girls, bring me the Bhasc, my WarMaster, The Genji armor, and my wings. remember, they're the black ones, not the white." Sweets, a young humanoid, resembling the cartoonish idea of a 'succubus', nodded and rushed off, returning with the equipment in moments. "What took ya so long?" Julia first donned the Genji armor, a heavy and strong powered armor modeled after the armors of ancient japan. The thick black laquer that hid the Adamantite armor plates and EinLanzium lift system shone in the brightly lit room like a black-faced mirror. She then grabbed her WarMaster, a high-tech version of the ancient 'KriegsMesser', or 'WarKnife', a german sword known for it's ease of repair and durability. She slid the blade into it's scabbard and attatched it to the socket on her armor's left hip, keeping it at the ready.


Here, there are a lot of mistakes that pop up in a basic spell check for me. Firstly, where are you located exactly? If you want help with spelling, you better make sure that it's for someone who's from where you are. For instance, I'm British so my spelling of certain words is going to differ from an American's.

Secondly, where is this story set; an alternative world of your own creation, Earth in the present day, Earth in the future? You do mention a timeline which is useful; all these things will affect how you present the writing, spelling included. So in the future, theoretically you could get away with more British spellings if say there has been a merging of languages and such.

Capital letters - these are quite important. In a few instances in your story, you've either used them in the wrong places or not used them at all. Here is a short list of times when you need a capital letter:

(o) When you start a new sentence
(o) When, as a character is speaking, they start a new sentence. Also consider when you split up their dialouge (e.g. "You shouldn't say stuff like that," she warned, "You'll get in trouble.")
(o) When, as a character is speaking, they start a new sentence. Also consider when you split up their dialogue (e.g. "You shouldn't say stuff like that," she warned, "You'll get in trouble.")
(o) For names. Names of a character, both first and surnames, names of countries, continents, names of a company, etc, etc
(o) Titles. You have used capitals in some titles but be careful not to go overboard.
(o) Acronyms. Although I'm not sure in this, most acronyms use capital letters. You don't see SWAT going by swat that often. This prevents confusion when you say you're sending in swat and everyone wonders why you're going to hit gunmen with a flyswatter.

Possessive S - When you use 's, that indicates that it belongs to someone (e.g. "That's Kate's necklace"). This does not apply to inanimate objects like a scabbard.

Paragraphs - You use a new paragraph when something new happens, when someone is speaking, when someone else speaks and so on. Smaller paragraphs are easier on the eye: big chunks of text are a pain to read through. This is more a personal thing but just be sure you are breaking up conversations correctly.

Emphasis - If someone is shouting or you want to stress specific words, a good idea is to not abuse the CAPS lock but instead use different fonts. You have a few instances of shouting all in caps but perhaps you could say, italicise these bits instead. Easier on the eyes, gets the point across and it doesn't feel like the author is shouting at us.

Let's take a few of the things I've mentioned here and apply it to the quoted text. Changes seen in red as well as a few other changes I have made but not mentioned above. Comments are mentioned in brackets.

Quote:
 
"Oi, Sweets!" Julia shouted, "I'm gonna need my girls; bring me the BHASC, my WarMaster, The Genji armour, and my wings. Remember, they're the black ones, not the white."

(New Paragraph)Sweets, a young humanoid resembling the cartoonish idea of a 'succubus', nodded and rushed off. (Suggested change)She returned with the equipment in moments.


(New Paragraph)"What took ya so long?" Julia first donned the Genji armour; a heavy and strong (REMOVE - powered) armour modelled after the armours of ancient Japan. The thick black lacquer that hid the Adamantite(I presume that this is an invention of the world the story is set in) armour plates and EinLanzium(is this an invention of this world?) lift system shone in the brightly lit room like a black-faced mirror.

(New Paragraph)She then grabbed her WarMaster, a high-tech version of the ancient 'KriegsMesser', or 'WarKnife', a German sword known for its ease of repair and durability. She slid the blade into its scabbard and attached it to the socket on her armour's left hip, keeping it at the ready.


The only other change I would make to the above is in the last paragraph but this is more personal than anything; WarMaster, KreigsMesser, WarKnife. Now, I don't really like having two words written like that so close together and I could be wrong, if I am then I'll let it go, but if it were me I would either write it as "Warmaster" or "War Master." It looks a bit better for a reason I can't explain.

I could go into detail but to be honest, based on the fact that it's not been spellchecked, I'd be here for hours trying to read it over. But I hope this helps a bit.
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JJ_Malcolm
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Commande rof Squad Vigilante of the Nightmare Alliance, Chapterm
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Thanks for the advice Webmistress L. Technically this is still in the Alpha phase, right after the rough draft[which, tbh, was completely incomprehensible to anyone but me]. I do tend to be odd in how I spell things, and am prone to swapping between American and British spellings, though I'm wholly american. The first chapter is set on Earth, 1000 years from now, while the second chapter and rest of the story is from 2012 on Earth. The story is a work in progress but it's, all in all, a sort of 'gateway' to a setting I've been working on and am hoping to expand, given time.

I've just downloaded a new word processor and am runnign it through a spelling and grammar check right now. However, certain words are intentionally misspelled when spoken. Julia has a 'Funetik Aksent'[Phonetic Accent] and tends to speak like a Scottish highlander at times. Those will, most likely, remain.


EDIT: Altered chapters have been posted, including a small extra paragraph detailing what, exactly, EinLanzium does, along wiht another tidbit hinting about Adamantite's purpose.
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