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EN Fanfic - Special Ops; The way the inquisition was meant to be.
Topic Started: Jun 4 2005, 11:57 PM (463 Views)
lirlond
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Comment 1: This fan-fiction is going to be around 3 parts long, and may be a rather large post when all parts are up.

Comment 2: All critique is welcome, if there are any grammer mistakes, please put a quote and what is needed, it WILL be fixed withing a day or so of being posted.

Copyright: Exterminatus now, and Grim Darkness universe copyrighted to Lothar Hex, Harry Eastwood, Virus, and Silversword. Xbox copyright Microsoft Inc.

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Part one - Chapter one: We have to WHAT now?

It was another day in the household of East, Virus, Rogue, and Lothar. East sitting drinking some coffee, watching random programs on the televison. Virus asleep on an armchair, Blasphemy sitting on his lap. Lothar playing his Xbox randomly swearing at 'n00bs'. Rogue, in the Gym, taking a quick refresher course with his Beam Sword.

Meanwhile, at the Inquisition head-quarters....

"Well, Adrian? You up for it?" Schaefer asked with a small hint of glee in his voice.

"I giss so, so whats ma assignment agin?" Adrian answered.

"Well Adrian, first you have to get to Inquisitor Eastwood's estate, get them into shape, ready for battle, and prepare for the biggest slaughter any eyes are to see." Schaefer answered, again a gleam in his eye and a hint of laughter in his voice. The door to his office opens and Simmons steps in, " Sir, I have some reports that need to be signed." Simmons informs.

"Simmons....CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONFERENCE HERE!?" Schaefer bellows at Simmons, the level of his voice knocking over a picture.

"Why yes sir but-" Simmons starts to explain, but is cut short by Adrian.

"It's aw right laddy, i'm oota here anywye, so long." Adrian remarks. Adrain leaves and Simmons and Schaefer continue talking.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door falls in, as a short, 5"6', male, Black West highland Terrier walks in, he is wearing a Black leather tanktop, along with black Jeans. Everyone is suddenly startled, when this man walks in, Lothar is the first to say anything, "Who the FUCK do you think you are?! Barging into our house like this?!" Lothar screams at the man, while poitning his Blaster arm at him.

"Calm doon, ya wee laddy," Adrian says, while holding a golden badge, marked with the sign of the 'Inquisitor Elite', "Special ops officer, Adrian 'Lirlond' McLeod, Here to get you lot intae shape, noo move it!"

"Wha- I dont think ANYTHING he said is english..." Rogue makes in comment to the mans Voice and words he used.

"I'm scottish ya wee kitty, noo, fur the wee kittie's comment, yees aw hiv tea gee, us 50, HUSTLE!" He yells, as everyone but Lothar drops down, "What this i see, ya wee...uh, I don't hink I've seen anything that looks like you wee man, just what are you?"

"What if I don't tell you what I am? You gonna put me in a kilt and make me dance, Scottish man?" Lothar asks, with a lot of mockery in his voice.

"Well for wan I'll dae this!" Adrian replies, while grabbing Lothars right arm, and pulling right out of his shoulder, he then swings out over his shoulder, "Do you like that, Mr. Roboto?"

"Why you..." Lothar mumbles as he rushes toward Adrian, but is grabed by Rogue, " I wouldn't suggest it Lothar, just relax and do the push-ups." Rogue states trying to calm him down. Adrian throws Lothar back his arm, and he slots it back into place.

They do the 50 push-ups and Adrian starts talking again, "Noo you're awe probably wonderin' why am here, well to tell yees tha truth, The Inquisition is plannin' a full all-out assault upon tha Daemons heed-quarters, an' a've been sent ere tae get yoos guys intae shape, and be ready fur the big battle. Any questions?"

"Ummm...is this battle optional?" Virus asks, voice quivering a little.

"Naw, this battle isnae optional if yae dont take part, ye will be enemies of tha Inquisition, and be hunteed doon by people mer powerful than me, dae yae want that?!" Adrian relies, a huge amount of sterness in his voice.

To be Continued....
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Lothar Hex
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Illogical
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No such thing as a "Special Ops" branch of the Inquisition. They do all that shit anyway, there is a "black ops" team however. Plus anyone who just barged in on an Inqusition HQ qould have been shot before he could have said "Hello".

And like HELL could anyone like your character just RIP Lothar's arm off. Blasphemy managed it because he's part fucking DAEMON. Any other person who attempted it would be dead before he could touch it.

Plus officially, Rogue and Lothar aren't Inqusitors, so they wouldn't be commanded by this guy anyway, they work with Virus and East because they get paid too, and follow Schaefer's orders because he pays East and Virus.

Also, Daemon headquarters? (which is ONE word btw) "Hello, my name is Irlrod, I'm just gonna mash two words together and hope they make sense". The Daemon "headquarters" is another bloody dimension. They are not an organised army of other-worldy beings, they are monsters made out of pure hatred, fear, rage , disease etc etc etc. Commanded by various dark gods who don't get on with each other anyway. Daemons can only be summoned by cults worshipping one of these gods, and even then it takes a LOT of work in the form of sacrifices, magic and what have you.

Plus, if there WAS an all-out assault on a Daemon army HQ, what would be the point? Most lesser daemons can easily kill at least one person before they die. The rank above that (which I forget the classification of) can easily destroy a major populated area within a week by themselves, and as for greater daemons... one of these things are sighted maybe ONCE every few thousand years, and when that happens were talking "extinction of the planet" type situation.

Not very promising with these mistakes.

EN takes liberties with the GD storyline, but not the ones you've gone and done here.
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lirlond
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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ok ok, calm down...sheesh, ill do some more research on the GD and then ill fix it, ok, and btw, you dont have to get all pissy, its a thing called 'trial & error' it helps everyone, and that was 'trial & error' ok, now i guess i did overpower him, i'll fix that too, but for now, im gonna leave it as it is, do a little more research and fix it, ok? and please, dont spell my name wrong on purpose, i am not a dunce, i just always thought it was heiphenated(sp?) now, calm down.
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Lothar Hex
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Illogical
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I did not spell your name wrong on purpose, I assumed that was a capital I, not an L.

Also, telling me to calm down when I am just telling you the errors in your story? Not smart. As such, I think I'll go into Nazi mode and close this until you have fixed the errors and just be nasty to you for the hell of it.
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RedFox742
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Obama's got a gun...
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I just wanted to note that it's a little hard to do GD research when the site is still nonexistant...

*re-closes and runs away*
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The Virus
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Keepin it odd like a motherfucking gastropod
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If we put the old site up, there's a possibility you're researching incorrect or out of date information. I'll try to have a go at designing a shiny new site in the summer, now that I have some of the skill0rz to do so. But then of course we have the problem of content...
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