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| Dire Peril; An "Exterminatus Now" fan fiction | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 9 2004, 10:40 PM (7,825 Views) | |
| RedFox742 | Dec 9 2004, 10:40 PM Post #1 |
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Obama's got a gun...
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Well, I didn't really think I'd post this story in increments. I wanted to wait until the whole thing was done, but it occured to me that it was likely that may take quite a long time, considering both how slowly I write and how much I want to put into this. So, I decided to instead bring you folks the first chapter of my Exterminatus Now fan fiction: Dire Peril. Because it will be rather lengthly and contains a lot of italics that are difficult to add in the forum, I've linked it to a page on my site. I don't know how often I'll be able to update it, considering all of the other projects that I have going right now but I'm having a lot of fun with it and am about 2/5 into the second chapter already. So, anyhow, enjoy what I've written so far, and I'd love to hear your comments! LATEST UPDATE (12/13/05): I've gotten my early decision college acceptance letter back from Northwestern, so... I'll have more chapters coming at you soon! Hoping to be completely done before the end of the school year. Aiming for ten total chapters... so here's the seventh! NOTE: The following fan fiction was written with the express and exclusive consent of all four authors of Exterminatus Now. Syrus "Virus" Zuviel, Harold "Harry" Eastwood, Lothar Hex, Ryoushi "Rogue" Nekittou, and all other Exterminatus Now or Grim Darkness characters are © Stuart Edney, Martin Faulkner, Alan Graham, and Garry Webber. "Chao" and the planet Mobius are © SEGA. Any other characters are invented by the author solely for the purpose of this story. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dire Peril: Parts I -- VII |
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| Sonic Fox | Dec 10 2004, 03:26 AM Post #2 |
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Wow, old things are cool.
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Red you got make the next part, this is one of the many great fics I have seen. it ranks #397 on my list of the 10000 greatest fanfics of all time. Nicely done. And like any great story it starts in a bar!! :D *hint* *hint* |
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| The Virus | Dec 10 2004, 05:04 AM Post #3 |
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Keepin it odd like a motherfucking gastropod
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Daaamn, I wish you had waited till the whole thing was done, cuz now I want more dammit! You tease! Awesome. Just... freakin awesome. It's great to see the characters explored this way, and the characterisations are spot on. All the details and stuff and... Blah, okay, I'm having real difficulty stringing coherent thougts together right now. Me likey, okay? Well written and funny. Bloody funny. Sorry I can't be more... ... *insert word here* Nope, thassit, vocabulary's packed in, I really gotta sleep now. |
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| X-plosives | Dec 10 2004, 05:46 AM Post #4 |
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Unregistered
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...I can't view it...T_T...DAMN YOU PARENTAL CONTROL! Sad...yes... |
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| Ashley Marsh | Dec 11 2004, 05:41 PM Post #5 |
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Oh for crying out loud!
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This is very good. I want more. |
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| X-plosives | Dec 12 2004, 08:27 AM Post #6 |
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Unregistered
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Thanks for sending the Fanfic (Dire Peril Part.1) Red, This is a great story hope you finish the next part. Want more. :D |
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| Raptor_Shadow | Jan 6 2005, 05:44 AM Post #7 |
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Everything You Have Ever Been Sold... Is a Pie!
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Insert much laughing and general amusement. That was excellent. More, I must have more! |
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| RedFox742 | Jan 14 2005, 01:08 AM Post #8 |
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Obama's got a gun...
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All who demanded more shall be rewarded! Dire Peril: Part II added! Enjoy, and I'll proceed to Part III as soon as possible! |
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| Lady Katana | Jan 14 2005, 02:57 AM Post #9 |
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Go, go, doodle power
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Very nice, Red. On both parts, since I never said anything about the first. Imagery, dialouge, the whole shebang. It's awesome. I hope you do update it soon, as I'm really eager to read the next part. |
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| Raptor_Shadow | Jan 14 2005, 11:40 AM Post #10 |
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Everything You Have Ever Been Sold... Is a Pie!
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'Everything you have been sold, the message now read, is a pie.' Best. Line. Ever. Seriously, this is amazing work. It really captures the humour of EN while having a slightly more serious storyline embedded in it. |
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| Ashley Marsh | Jan 14 2005, 04:29 PM Post #11 |
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Oh for crying out loud!
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Damn, your good. :lol: Keep it up. |
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| X-plosives | Jan 16 2005, 08:52 AM Post #12 |
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Unregistered
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My eyes are hurting... Second part is great, Red. Also can't wait for the next one. Gotta rest my eyes now...-_- |
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| Retrogamer! | Jan 21 2005, 09:47 AM Post #13 |
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IT'S HERESY
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If thats what Lothar's like in a briefing...god help someone who does a job interview with him. Red, this is by far one of the funniest fanfics I have ever read, its so rare to find a good well written story about in the fanfic world now (so many crap ones with no spelling...urgh..) but this one easy falls into the "GIVE ME MORE DAMMIT!" catagory. |
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| The Virus | Jan 22 2005, 06:43 AM Post #14 |
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Keepin it odd like a motherfucking gastropod
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Whoa, part deux, I only just saw this. Teh awesome. Very very cool, and very very amusing.
XD Oh, I laughed. Zing! That wasn't the only time Schaefer sniped at Virus, either. Good stuff. Characterisation of Schaefer is spot on. Simmons is slightly less in sych with my own views of his character - but given how little coverage he's got in the comic, that's entirely understandable. You remember Simmons first line in the comic? "Sir, are you going to be long on the 'Seat of Power'?" That, for me, set the standard. He said that with the subtlest degree of smug contempt. He knows he's smarter than Schaefer. But he never openly criticises. He remains respectful, never failing to address his superior as 'sir'... but not in a sycophantic way. Schaefer probably doesn't like him, because for one thing he's infuriatingly competent and unflappable, and for another, Schaefer keeps getting the hint of Simmons' subtle contemptous snipes... but either Simmons is too subtle, or Schaefer isn't quite perceptive enough, and either way he can't actually decide if Simmons is being disrespectful or not. Yeah, I mean all that is kinda sorta what you had happening anyway... The only thing I had question with was the use of 'nasal whine' and 'pompous'. Those words didn't evoke the right image for me, so I had to go and write a bloody essay on the character of Mr Simmons. Guh. Anyway, in my mind, he speaks and acts with a calculated, detached sort of air. General Grim Darknessy type comments: This is regarding part 1, a deceptula has only one eye - it's a Patterner hallmark. You described them as eight-eyed one time. And BTW, 'deceptulae' is a much better way of pluralising deceptula, thanks ^^ The Undivided anklet, with the four gemstones - a very nice idea. You couldn't, uh, finish off that list of corresponding stones, could ya? ^^; Heh, I'm surprised we'd not thought of that before - We have sacred numbers and sacred species for all the gods... stones should have been logical. Also... Taika. It's Taika. 'Tie-kah'. Fantastic work, Red. Clearly at some point we've got to get this out to the wider EN audience. Would you prefer to finish it before doing that? |
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| Jeffk38uk | Jan 22 2005, 02:43 PM Post #15 |
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Everything's great at your Junes.
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I loved every bit of it. I do hope you continue this story. It runs quite a nice parallel to the EN comics in a different way. |
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| EldraesRevenant | Jan 23 2005, 03:07 AM Post #16 |
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Imprisioned Pilferer
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So far, so good. While I have little knowledge of the inner workings of the EN universe, this gives me an angle of the casual reader. The story is just in the fledgling stages, so it's hard to get fully immersed into the story just yet. Still, the setup thus far is promising, probably more so with those more in tune to what's going on. The mix of seriousness and comedy is done well, flowing more or less together. As a fellow writer, I salute your work so far and look forward to the next part. |
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| Retrogamer! | Mar 17 2005, 09:40 AM Post #17 |
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IT'S HERESY
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>_> <_< *prods Redfox* The fans are getting restless apparently. Looking forward to chapter 3 if it's still going. |
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| QueenQeeko | Mar 26 2005, 11:49 PM Post #18 |
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The blaq Qitty in bluu
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*clap clap clap* I found that to be quite the pleasant read. Lothar's constant picking on Eastwood was very humourous ^^ |
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| RedFox742 | Mar 30 2005, 12:06 AM Post #19 |
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Obama's got a gun...
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Thanks for all the great reviews! Spring is here, which means volleyball after school, which means two hours of dead time every day to write with between the last bell and setting up the nets! Hurrah! Dire Peril: Part III added! The mission begins! ... well, sort of. First there's planning and weapons to take care of, as well as Eastwood. And just who has got a hold of Rogue? Hope you enjoy it. Part IV is already underway! |
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| Jeffk38uk | Mar 30 2005, 01:11 AM Post #20 |
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Everything's great at your Junes.
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A decent chapter. I quite enjoyed eastwoods coffee frenzy and their trip through armoury heaven. Also a nice way of connecting everything together near the end. Cant wait for C4. |
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| QueenQeeko | Mar 30 2005, 12:16 PM Post #21 |
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The blaq Qitty in bluu
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“Th-that was m-me w-waking up!” he stammered merrily. “See? See? I’m up!” He hopped up and down a few times that illustrate. “Up, up, and now we get to go! Go save Rogue, right? Right! Gotta save Rogue! Huh?” “Yes, Harry,” Lothar said, amusement and scorn fighting for dominance in his voice. “Save Rogue.” Classic. :D |
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| Cthulhu | Apr 7 2005, 01:49 AM Post #22 |
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Scum
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your writing style is similar that of Douglas Adams. which is a very, very good thing. |
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| QueenQeeko | Apr 7 2005, 03:57 AM Post #23 |
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The blaq Qitty in bluu
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Don't worry, RedFox, you know that others like it. Even if there are only two comments for that chapter, there are enough comments overall that means its good. Chin up, I get the same with my artwork (although the guest comic surprised me :blink: ) |
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| Lady Katana | Apr 7 2005, 05:47 AM Post #24 |
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Go, go, doodle power
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I actually read it when you first mentioned that it was up, but I forget to comment on it. It was really great. I agree with Jeff and East's coffee high and the trip through the armory being two of the best parts. Although Rogue's conversation with his captor was quite intriguing... Do keep up the good work, Red. Bad things will happen if you don't. ^^ |
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| Rust | Apr 7 2005, 10:43 PM Post #25 |
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Rank of Some Significance
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Well, it's a fanfic. Can't be THAT good... *reads* ...God DAMMIT, there goes my self-esteem. You should post this on Fanfiction.net. Its sheer awesomeness might actually be able to make the writers of yaoi fanfics spontaneously combust. |
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