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Grim Darkness fic.; Only the beggining...
Topic Started: Nov 6 2004, 07:27 AM (577 Views)
Gyser
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Waiting For Godot
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Well, because this part of the forums is empty at the moment, I decided I start to fill it up. Here is the begginings of a fiction I'm writing (ok, WAS writing), starring Inquisitor Ellen Rodreguiz (Ordo Adviligo).

...Ok, so it's not the best thing ever written...

------------

LOCATION: Downunda
Lord Xaviers Residence
Year: 3227


In the pitch black darkness of the night, in the land Downunda, a large mansion sat. Lights shone from various windows, and guards patrolled the perimeter of the building. This was the home of Lord Xavier, a criminal master mind who had escaped from the Acorn Kingdom, and saught refuge in Downunda.

It was 1 O'clock, and Xavier was tired. He wandered through the seemingly endless corridors of his mansion, heading for his bedroom, and a good nights sleep. He soon reached a large door, trimmed with gold and decorated with engravings of dragons and phoenixes. The old walrus smiled, and fumbled about in his pocket for his keys. He found them, and proceeded to unlock the door. The door swung open with a creak, and instantly, Xavier knew something was wrong.

All the lights in his room were out. He always left them on, for various security reasons. He stretched his arm out, and searched around the wall for the light switch. After a moment or two of nothing, he found the switch and flipped it up. Bright lights flooded the room, momentarily blinding the walrus. After a couple of quick blinks, his eyes scanned the room. Everything was normal... But then his eyes swung back to his bed. Lying on the silky sheets, was a female Persian cat, eyeing Xavier with a sexy look.

Xavier was about to call for security, but his curiosity, and his hormones, got the better of him.

"Can I help you with something?" Xavier asked, one eye brow cocked.

The cat did not reply, and instead, slid off the bed, and slowly walked over, swinging her hips as she went. When she reached the walrus, she wrapped one arm around his neck, and slid one leg up and around his back. The cat could sense the excitment in the walrus grow.

She slowly slid her other arm around his neck, and slowly, but surely, she licked the side of Xaviers cheek. The cat brought her paws around to the side of Xaviers face, and looked deep into his eyes. The old walrus gave a small grin... That was the last facial expression he'd ever make.

Before Xaviers eyes, the face of the cat transformed from one of lust and sexual desire, into a wild face of fury and hate. There was a large CRACK!, and Xaviers head spun a full 180 degrees, the smile still on his face. The cat let the body of the former crime lord fall to the floor. Xavier made a loud thud as he hit the soft carpet. The cat stood, staring at her handywork, with a certain satisfaction.

"SIR!?" Came the voice of a guard on the other side of the door. "Sir, is everything ok?!"

The cat's head snapped to attention, and looked at the door for a moment. Suddenly, she raced over to the bed, not even stopping as she grabbed her trenchcoat. She quickly put it on as she ran towards the window, and leapt out, just as the door burst open and a small squadron of guards entered the room...

--------------------

Acorn Kingdom: 2 days later...


"Nice job Ellen. Old bastard had it coming, eh?"

Ellen stood in the office of the current head Inquisitor for the Acorn Kingdoms Inquisition headqaurters, a Chihuahua named Louie O'Keefe. Though he was small, the Chihuahua was well respected, and had earned his position. At the moment, Louie has a cigar hanging out of the corner of his mouth, the ash falling onto the desk. Louie took a more serious tone.

"All of Xaviers under-bosses are now scrambling about like chickens with their heads cut off. We've sent some sweeper teams into their known locations, to further fuel the fire, and keep them that way... You can go now Ellen..."

Ellen nodded, and left the office. She made her way to her own office, and the office of her former mentor, Kevon Maxamidius. She opened the door, and found a skunk sitting in her chair, feet up on the desk.

"Well, well. The great Black Widow returns." The skunk grinned, his yellow teeth showing.

"...What do you want, Adam?" Ellen asked, as if she knew this was going to happen. Adam hated Ellen, because she was a better Cadet then he ever was, and was often compared to her during his Cadet days.

"Now if only you could see Ellen do it..." and, "No! No! Do it like this! Like Ellen would!" were sentances that often haunted Adam, and made him feel like he was living in Ellens shadow, and he despised her for it.

"So, another succesful screw..? ..Pardon me, I mean, mission?" Adam asked, putting a particular emphasis on 'screw'. Out of the corner of his eye, Adam could see Ellens paw clench into a fist.

"Adam!" Come a rough voice from the door. Adam looked past Ellen and saw Louie standing at the door, his cigar now a mere stub between his lips. "You're pushing your luck boy. One of these days, Ellen will hit you, and you can end up like Jaime."

As if on cue, a wolf walked past the office, with a limp, and an artificial arm. He would have turned to look, but couldn't, after he got on the wrong side of Ellen. The poor wolf was reduced to being a desk jockey, as he was no longer fit for active Inquisition duty.

"See what I mean?" Louie asked, knowing what the answer was before he'd even said a word. Adam snarled at Ellen, and roughly pushed her out of the way, as he made for the door. Just as he reached Louie, a twhang emerged from the door frame. Adam turned and saw Ellens' knife sticking out of the wood.

"Careful Ellen... We don't want to have to redecorate..." Adam smirked, as he turned into the corridor, and out of Ellens sight. Louie looked at Ellen, and then to the knife in the wood, which was still vibrating slightly.

"Nice shot..." Louie mused, admiring the aim. He turned around and left, a small pile of ash sat where he once stood.

"...What do you mean...? ...I missed..." Ellen whispered to herself, in the emptiness of the office...

--------------------

Acorn Park: The Next Day...

"...Morning Kevon." Ellen greeted the old deer, as he sat down next to her on a park bench. Kevon smiled at the cat.

"Good morning to you too." He said cheerly, his voice rumbling like an earthquake. "I hear your mission in Downunda went well."

"...So-so." Ellen replied, watching the rising sun in the distance.

"Did you visit your 'mother' while you were down there?" Kevon asked, possibly already knowing the answer.

"Couldn't. Inquisition business. Plus, I didn't want anyone tracking her down, and extracting their revenge on her." Ellen said, with a tint of sadness.

Ellen had been raised in Downunda, by a beautiful hedgehog named Gyarinia Lander. Gyarinia had taken Ellen in when she was a small baby, and her mother died of a gunshot wound. Gyarinia had strong ties with the Inquisition and the Inquisitors, even having a brief affair with one. It was these ties that made Ellen want to join the Inquisition. Gyarinia had been born in the Acorn Kingdom, but moved to Downunda with Ellen, just before the Great War started. Gyarinia had wanted to escape the corruption of the Acorn Kingdom, but found it was abundant everywhere else as well.

Gyarinia sent Ellen to the Inquisition headquarters, in the Acorn Kingdom, when Ellen was only four. She also sent a note, asking that Inquisitor Kevon Maxamidius, be the one to tutor her.

"Pity. I'd bet she misses you." The old deer mumbled. His once proud brown fur, now had flecks of grey through it, as age affected the former Inquisitor. His brown eyes were as bright as ever though, his wisdom shining through them.

"...So, why did you call me out here, this early of a morning?" Ellen finally asked after a few moments of silence. Kevon reached into the folds of his robe, and pulled out a photo. He looked at it for a moment, and then handed it to Ellen. The Persian looked at the photo.

It was a black and white photo, of the skunk that had verbally attacked Ellen yesterday. It showed Adam meeting with an Overlander, and shaking hands.

"The Overlander on the right there is the one they call, 'Kang Long'." Kevon said, looking forward, scanning the area for anyone coming their way.

"Kang Long? The Blackmarket arms dealer from Taika?" Ellen asked.

"He's more than just an arms dealer. He's also been known to deal in 'Yellow King-Rose Seeds'." Kevon continued.

"You mean 'Limp Bones'? The drug that causes a body to go completely limp, and can paralyze a person?" Ellen asked, almost surprised.

"One and the same." Kevon confirmed Ellens fears.

"...That's usually only used by follower of the Dark Gods. It's used to paralyze their 'sacrifices', so they can't escape. Why would Kang Long have any interest in that? It's got no real street value..." Ellen was slightly confused.

"But having a bunch of tainted ones on your side..." Kevon began...

"...Ahhh." It made sense to Ellen now. Kang Long was dealing with followers of the darkess, by supplying them with drugs to use on victims. They would repay him, by acting in his service when he needed it. What for she didn't know, but there was still another piece of the puzzle. "What's Adam got to do with this?"

"It's nice when you've got the Inquisitor assigned to your case, sitting in your back pocket." Kevon said, with a touch of anger in his voice.

"Adam's taking... bribes, from Kang Long?" Ellen was surprised. She hated Adam, but she never would have suspected him of doing something like this.

"I don't know. That's why I called you. I'm sure you can find out. I'm no longer an Inquisitor after all..." Kevon stood up, and without another word, left Ellen sitting on the park bench with the photo still in her hand.

She stared at it. Looked like she now had a reason to kill Adam, apart from the fact he was a pain in her...
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Axel Letterman
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The Saiyan Hedgehog
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Wow, that's a lot of reading and my eyes are hurting like hell after reading all of that.
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Cz-Backlash
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I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB NOT ONCE BUT TWICE!
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Jesus man this is friggin sweet as hell, you need to keep making these that was really good :clap:
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Strotski
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Guilty
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Sweet story indeed... long, yes, but not repeative

I dont know if your a dane Gyser but if you are not i just wanted to let you know that Gyser in danish means Horror... funny fact eh?
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Gyser
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Oo

Well that certainly adds a new meaning to the name I've used for so long....


And Cz-Backlash, I know that I should write more to it, but I'm certainly lacking the inspiration, and have been for the last 8 months or so. I would LOVE to finish the story, as the character is one I love but I don't want to do a half-assed job with the story and screw it over completely.

Maybe one day...
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RedFox742
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This is... phenomenal. Where did you get the GD info? From the site? Because so much of it is down these days... I can never find the stuff I need. Are the Yellow King-Rose Seeds vertabim GD, or your own creation?

... By the way, you exact revenge, not extract it. >.>

Also, I'm not sure just how well an Inquisitor who intentionally mauled other Inqusitors would be tolerated, even in Grim. The Inquisition needs all its men. Ellen is a fascinating character (if perhaps not too original - the seductress/assassin theme is very common) but a bit overboard as far as her ire.

Still, though, I'm hooked on the plot, and it'll be interesting to see Inquisitor faced off against Inquisitor. Hope for more soon!
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Lothar Hex
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Illogical
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Gyser actually help with GD a lot. So he should know a bit about it ^^
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Silversword
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your soul is mine
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Intruiged how an Overlander mangaged to come from Taika, I am. But I'll overlook that'n.
Tis indeed pretty good, minor nitpicks aside.

And yeah, Gyser had a hand in early GD concepting, and knows a bit about what's going on. How up to date the info is, I don't know.
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Hercule Pyro
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SilverSword,Jan 4 2005
10:07 PM
Intruiged how an Overlander mangaged to come from Taika, I am.

Well, you get Chinatown in London... Why not Little Arcadia in Ojirann? After all, not all Overlanders may be racist, and there has to be embassies around the globe after all.

Does bring up an interesting concept though, I must admit.
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Lankywolf
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Quote:
 
Intruiged how an Overlander mangaged to come from Taika, I am. But I'll overlook that'n.


Silv, people can move around you know, ie, that guys parents were migrants from the Overlander nation perhaps (being Overlanders, after all)? Hey, I know all about that mah self- I'm a Pomme living in Australia of course. Nice and sunny. No rain, no rain... :D
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The Virus
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Keepin it odd like a motherfucking gastropod
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Yes, but the point is that, in our current setup, there's a lot of racial tension between the two species, Mobians and Overlanders. At least on the level of the days of segregation in the US. We're currently undergoing revision of some of our principles, because having Overlanders confined to their Commonwealth is a little limiting creatively.
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Silversword
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your soul is mine
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Lankywolf,Feb 1 2005
10:21 AM
Silv, people can move around you know, ie, *snip*

Thank you for pointing out the blatantly obvious. I might possibly not have managed to work that one out myself.

Okay, overriding sarcasm aside, yes, I -know- people can move around. In most cases, though, moving around -doesn't- invite the locals to smash your head in with the nearest blunt implement and throw you into the nearest river, where approximately nobody will care.
Not so the Overlanders and the Mobians.

Yes, the tension and mutual distrust between them is often that high. Especially for the ignorant public. Like Virus says, we're working on smoothing some of these tensions out, so as not to rub against possible creative paths, but it's not particularly easy going so far.
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Chameleon
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Vanishing before your eyes
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That's great, keep it up :lol:
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