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| Death's Desires; Tsuki's World. | |
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| Topic Started: Jul 3 2004, 04:37 PM (222 Views) | |
| MidnightShadow | Jul 3 2004, 04:37 PM Post #1 |
If she were warm and fuzzy she'd be a kitten
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A fairly medium-sized black book is the only other thing that Tsuki holds in his posessions, besides his raven, Taiyo, and his dagger. The pages are darker than most, and the writing is often in crimson - almost similar to the colour of blood. Almost. But, being a hemophiliac, he has purchased coloured ink that allows him to write in such a manner. Here are his thoughts, his feelings, and his general sarcasm. More often than not people won't reply, for he is hated wherever he goes for reasons known only to him, which would be demonstrated at a graveyard of sorts. Most of this life has been centered around Death, being a Necromancer and all, and so is what he focusses his entries on; usually. |
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| MidnightShadow | Jul 20 2004, 03:29 PM Post #2 |
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If she were warm and fuzzy she'd be a kitten
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[Allow Replies? Yes] Why bother introducing myself? It's not like anyone gives a damn about me. Ha, well nobody knows a thing about me... Little Tsuki is what they called me... Little indeed. Taller and much more agile than my former friends, I don't see how they could think I was little. Tsuki is my name. I have no surname, for I care not about my parentage. -------. After they discovered I both wanted to become a Necromancer and that I was a Hemophiliac, they turned away from me. A few short years afterwards I met my precious raven. Taiyo. How I love her so. She is, perhaps, the only creature in this hell forsaken world that I do love. She's kind to me, and wary of my health. She knows when she is pressing too hard on my skin, and she knows when I need her most. She has never flown away from me, never abandoned me. Even though what I do for a living is utterly wrong and disturbing, she still is at my side, following me. She is free to fly whenever her heart decides it is time to leave, and many a time I have thought Taiyo had abandoned me, yet she has always returned, her beautiful black wings spread wide as she lighted upon my shoulder. I would say I am cursed, and yet I cannot. There is a song, one that I can safely say I did not learn at home, but I think it is me... Or perhaps not. I cannot tell, for I am one person; an elven boy shunned from his homelands because everyone thought they would catch his hemophilia, which is a disease in which the platelettes of the blood are in such a low quantity that they cannot close a wound. Most hemophiliacs die of internal bleeding because of bruising, which leads me to be cautious of what I do and where I go. Hemophilia brings a lot of pain, even though it is simple bleeding. Bruises in themselves cause serious convulsious and even death. But... this has nothing to do with what I write now. Here... Read the lyrics at will and think about them. My name means 'Moon' in a foreign language, and Taiyo is 'Sun', again in the same language. If you are near to the dark I will tell you 'bout the sun You are here, no escape From my visions of the world You will cry all alone But it does not mean a thing to me I have not touched the feeling of blood in many a long time... I wish I could... It is such a soothing feeling. And others bleed at my expense, so what is not to like? I suppose, in a sense, it is depressing, but I am a depressing man. Seventeen years old am I, and have been alone for at least three quarters of my life. Death is whathas kept me alive, and shall forever more unless some change is to be brought about. I have oft thought about women, girls... the like. They don't interest me. Much. I am far too to dark for them, and, sadly, my ways of life would shy them away. I wish it were not so, but it is, and there is nothing I can do about it now. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I were not so creepy... My eyes are crimson, and my hair dark, dark blue. My clothing is dark and I worship the moon. What woman would want that? None, as far as I am concerned. Your first dance with the dead... >Tsuki< |
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| MidnightShadow | Aug 20 2004, 08:48 PM Post #3 |
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If she were warm and fuzzy she'd be a kitten
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[Allow Replies: NO] Things have been rather strange as of late, to say the least... I know I ought to write more, for it relieves pent-up feelings, but in all honesty, who would want to write after the events have occurred in my life over the past few days? They aren't ones I would often describe as interesting or intriguing, but more disturbing and emasculating and perplexing. Within the desert to which has no name as far as I'm concerned, I met a man. At the time I hadn't known he was Neriasis, God of Order, but if I had, I probably would have left. Being within the presence of a God is unnerving enough as it is, but to actually journey with one is far worse once you figure it all out. We had only finished introductions, I think, when his friend Artanis appeared. Upon her arrival we set out to find a puzzle piece. Into a tomb we went, beneath the desert dunes, unknowing of what lay ahead. Artanis took on some sort of disease, which made the journey slightly harder, so the Great Beast of Order - the Gargoyle - was summoned from its temple home, much to my surprise and to his dislike. I've seen one of ten Great Beasts thus far, and hope to see another. We found the puzzle piece, and Taiyo removed it for us, only to bring the dragon to which it had been embedded in alive. A battle ensued, and if not for my hemophilia I would have been in the centre of it. Instead I held back, losing colour to my face and to my hands, and body, calling upon my horse and ram summons. I thrive on the ability to call them to me, but one day they will go beyond to their final destination. They did well, and protected me, though Neriasis had summoned a shield for defense as well. Artanis was nearby, attacking with all her might, giving the God a chance to embed some sort of toxin in its body. With puzzle piece and ourselves in tow, we made to depart from the wretched tomb. And then it happend. I fell, and I cut my hand, much to my shock and Taiyo's dismay. Artanis was already ahead, but Neriasis had hung back to see what the matter had been. Though a tiny cut upon my hand, it bled profusely, and by reaction I began to feel dizzy, my head swimming. Neriasis summoned for us a portal to the Temple of Life, for Artanis needed to visit it with as much need as I. She headed through first, and then I was to follow, only to have Neriasis do something so utterly disturbing that I swear I would have run if I had had the energy. He kissed me! He spun me around and kissed me 'pon the lips before thrusting me through that portal backwards. On the other side I landed on my back, gently for fate seemed to be on my side in terms of wounds. On the other side I announced my distaste, and he seemed not to care. Never have I been so disturbed, so... so... felt so unnerved and violated. Even now it makes my hand shake with anger. Regan, Goddess of Life, arrived soon after, leaving me within the presence of not one but two immortals. She healed the wounds of both Artanis and I, and left me to sleep. I know not how long I laid there, half absorbed in Death and half absorbed in sleep, but when I came to Regan was gone, as was Neriasis. Artanis had remained, and we left together, she inviting me to the Temple of Order. Apparently there are books there on necromancy, so once I complete this entry I shall be heading there. Necromancy of anything interests me. Ah, but I am not finished yet. After I departed from the temple I headed to the Lake of the Fae. A beautiful full moon was in the air, whilst stars twinkled far above, and the power within my blood was stronger for the full moon influences certain aspects of our lives. And it was there I met Sisairen. He fed me some sort of berry, and I swear it made me drunk, for I have never felt so giddy in all my life. I laughed long and hard beside this man till the effects wore off and we were left to speak as normal men. And, as the conversation shifted, it turned to Artanis and Neriasis, ironically enough. It wasn't till then that I realized the name 'Sisairen' was Neriasis backwards... And once this had been pointed out, Sisairen came to the assumption that I had been the man or boy (whichever you would rather call me) who had been kissed by the man's boyfriend! Oh the inhumanity. He was violent, he told me prior to this conversation, and so a lingering fear that he would bash my skull in came to mind. It was not so. He simply said that I wasn't that bad looking (which, believe me, is also rather disturbing for I don't need another man to tell me that, thank you very much), and that he could see why Neriasis had done that. Once the conversation had ended, I promptly left. No use dwelling in a place where he could act irrationally (despite his assurance that he was tamer than Neriasis). And so has been my day thus far. Let us see how Artanis acts to my appearance at the temple... Till then. Your second dance with the dead... >Tsuki< |
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| MidnightShadow | Aug 23 2004, 08:55 PM Post #4 |
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If she were warm and fuzzy she'd be a kitten
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[Allow Replies: NO] It has happened. I, Tsuki, have officially gone insane. Well, judging by the stares that I have oft received in the past, I would think that people already thought of me as an insane psychopath, but by my own standards, I think I have truly lost it. I have a crush for a woman. She's probably the most least expected, most unprobable person out there, and she's an elf like myself, with some sort of dark side to her. Her hair is the colour of my own, and her eyes are a deep emerald, while mine are ruby. She's slightly shorter than I, possibly a few inches, and yet she is so kind, so gentle... And her name? Artanis. I was invited to the Temple of Order simply to read books on necromancy, to learn new spells and such, but I think it turned into a love fest. Which, even to me, is unnerving. We headed to the kitchens, only to find Sisairen in his underwear, which was possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever witnessed, for even I, who removes his shirt in the middle of nowhere in front of many young children, wouldn't go so far as to walk around almost in the nude. I think it turned my appetite off slightly, but not enough to diminish it entirely. We then proceeded to the gardens. Taiyo was obviously displeased with Artanis, and so began eating her plants, which started the entire ordeal. Shenta, some sort of flying creature, chased her, which resulted in my falling and her hiding, and it was only slightly after Artanis helped me up that it all unravelled. She, too, kissed me. Twice in a row I've been kissed, and by people within the same group. Yes, she kissed me, and, surprisingly enough, I found myself returning the gesture. Strange were the feelings, and soon after I left, unable to keep myself around. So, I suppose I'll wander now, and practice my newly acquired spells, and possibly contemplate these thoughts among others. I wish I knew what was wrong and what was going on... Your third dance with the dead... >Tsuki< |
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| MidnightShadow | Nov 6 2004, 11:08 PM Post #5 |
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If she were warm and fuzzy she'd be a kitten
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[Allow Repies: NO] 'S been a long time since I've written here... Weeks, I'd say... 'S been a long while since I actually wrote entries people where allowed to read too, but alas I cannot stoop so low. It isn't my nature to allow people to just wander into my heart, so why begin now? It's not worth it, really. But, I must say, things are so strange and foreign to me right now that I don't know where I stand... Artanis and I have been getting along incredibly well... I do believe the emotion that I've been experiencing is 'love'. Hate to say it, hate to feel it, but it's there, and it's driving me crazy. I want to spaz or convulse or vomit, and alas cannot. So, all I can really do is wish that it will either settle in and let me be, or just dissipate altogether. Though, if it dissintigrates then I will lose Artanis, and since she is the only human or humanoid thing I care for, then losing her would put me right back where I started - square one. I don't think I want to be there just yet... I've met with her sister as of late... I hate her. Absolutely loathe her. If ever there was someone I truly felt a lust for, it is her. She is a bitch, she thinks she is better than everyone else, and she is nought but eight years old! Where is there sense in that? There isn't. She speaks to those older than she in a tone that I truly do not approve of. I can show respect when I feel the need for it, and often do, as surprisingly I am not a liar, nor am I a disrespectful little bugger, but I'm not exactly 'good' either. She just irks me, that's all... Vexes me to the extent that I want to wrap my boney fingers around her neck and wring it. I want to kill her, but Artanis would kill me, and I don't want to deal with that. Speaking of which, we met up with Licha in Almada, the city which lies in the Earth Realm. After what I suppose you could call a 'pleasant' night, we wandered the early market streets only to run into her... And she said some things that hit home I suppose, as I ran... Ran because everything crumbled beneath my feet. I saw Artanis before I left entirely, up on a hill, glancing out, but she didn't see me. Probably for the best, anyway... I wouldn't have wanted to argue with her. I don't much care for arguing... I don't much care for anything, quite frankly. So, I fled. Ran hard and far, to the Windswept Plains of Aeril. There I met with a woman. I know not her name, and care not to know it either, as she only prolonged my suffering. I summoned a creature there, and it made a vain attempt to kill me, but something fended it off and it vanished. This was, of course, after she spoke. I was at the breaking point then... Almost slew myself. But she leapt at me, and sat on me apparently to keep it from happening, which was slightly annoying. We argued, yes, and had quite the interesting discussion before we parted our separate ways. Really, I had nothing to say to her... We are alike in a few ways though, that much I cannot deny. Why she cared about my well-being I'll never know... She shouldn't have. And she herself said so, too. So, why did she then? I guess I'll never know, for even she doesn't. She did give me something to think about, however, thus I was not without something to do in my absence. I've been missing, you could say, for a fortnight now. I'm sure she has no clue as to where I am, or where I've gone, if I'm alive or dead. Perhaps she has forgotten me... I wouldn't be surprised. Many have. I steal their children away in the dead of the night and they never see them again. After a while the heartache finally goes away, but it always lingers. I've just been thinking really. Thinking about suicide, about giving my life to the Dead that I have used to extravagantly. As you can see I have not, but I did think about it... Thought long and hard. I couldn't help it. I haven't eaten much, so I'm still disgustingly thin, but there is nothing I can do about that. I might as well be anorexic and a hemophiliac - why not add another disease to the rest of them? I'm not sure what I should do now, but I do know it isn't to hang around here writing this in crimson ink... I'll hang onto life for now, I suppose, and see where it takes me. Worst comes to worst I give in to the tantalizing desire to end my life, and so I will. For now I shall continue wandering, my destination now concrete. Unto the Temple of Order. Your fourth dance with the dead... >Tsuki< |
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| MidnightShadow | Dec 11 2004, 06:47 PM Post #6 |
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If she were warm and fuzzy she'd be a kitten
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[Allow Replies: NO] I'm here with Artanis, in an inn, and sitting at full wakefulness at whatever time it is in the morning. I truly hate inns. Nothing ever goes right when I arrive in one. Last one we were at we headed outside in the morning and crossed paths with Licha. Let me tell you, that didn't go over well at all. This past day or two here in the Order Kingdom has been a living Hell. Heh, speaking of which I was howled at last night for it. Perhaps I should begin at the beginning, eh, for that is where most stories make sense the most. Why begin at the end if there is a possible chance nothing will make sense? I found my way in the Temple of Order late the night before last, as I had said I would last entry. When I called for Artanis I was instead met with Neriasis, who seemed pissed. He directed cold fury and hatred to me. He left without a sound and I was directed to Artanis' room by a combination of the Gargoyle and the strange lights that inhabit the temple. What I found there was not to my liking, and even less further on, but at the time I felt almost obliged to help - though I'm not entirely sure why. I would say Artanis if I had to make some sort of bet or reason for my peculiar actions. Sisairen was dying on the floor. Apparently Neriasis was highly displeased with the hybrid for cheating on him, though not as Neriasis had done with me (and I still stand by the fact that I find it utterly disgusting). It was to a greater extent, which is why I assume Neriasis beat and clawed him till he was on his deathrow. Artanis was distraught over the entire situation and to make things worse on my part, Licha was there. I asked why they didn't just leave with the hybrid, and I was told in turn that he would stop them. I told them it would be best if they created a distraction, and who pipes up that I would be perfect for the job? None other than Licha. She told me that Neriasis would dare not harm me, for I was with Artanis, though that was little comfort. I agreed reluctantly, if not for her sake, and headed into the main hall to face Neriasis. The God has always frightened me. He is deranged and a lunatic, and very much a pervert. I summoned him and he came and an argument ensued, but I held my ground. Yes, I was dead scared of that man. He is cruel and unlike any other I have ever met, and easy to vex if you know how to do it. I seem to have a knack for it, quite frankly. The conversation didn't last long before he was completely enraged. Neriasis raised his hand to strike me, and I knew it would hit my face and would cause pain, if not bruising which could eventually lead to death. I told him to do it, because I felt this sudden surge of courage, even if in the end I showed obvious relief. Sisairen appeared then, with Licha and with Artanis and he withheld him. Spoke his name Sisairen did and that somehow restrained the God. I don't really see how, nor why, and I don't care. The main fact of all of this is that I actually made it out alive. To face Neriasis' wrath is to face certain death. The two of them made their departure, along with Licha, and left Artanis and I to head down to her room for the night. The following morning was quiet up until I stood and stretched. A stabbing pain worked its way up from my spine to the base of my neck to my head, creating a throbbing, merciless headache. It has subsided since, though we never did figured out what had caused it, but I don't think a headache has ever hurt so much. Breakfast was no better. There were a few disturbing exchanges during the time spent in the pantry (which I really do not wish to write here - I think I'd make myself throw up and that wouldn't be a good thing to leave on this polished desk, now would it?), and I left quite suddenly, laughing all the while. We headed into a room only known to the God of Order and Artanis. There I realized something I had never expected to occur, and hadn't as far as I knew, but did nonetheless and for that I am twice as careful now as I was before. My hemophilia began to cause problems in the form of joint bleeding. From experience and simple observation I have come to the conclusion that most hemophiliacs are not susceptible to this, and so will never feel the pain that it causes. I, unfortunately, seem to be one of those 'lucky' few. They hurt like you've never felt, even to the twinges that are acquired during battle in the form of wounds. I swear, the pain that it causes clouds all your thoughts, all your feelings, leaving you to die. I am grateful that I have the pendant Regan gave me, and still wear it about my neck, else I think I would not have survived that encounter. Artanis sent for Neriasis and he came. At first he would not do anything about it as I lay writhing on the floor, but soon he put his skills to actual use and stuffed his hand up my shirt and his other on my forehead. He knew as well as I did that the pain was concentrated in my shoulder, yet he deliberately waited. As soon as he actually voiced it Artanis took care of it. Neriasis' hand lingered under my shirts for a moment, and the moment I could think clearly and was not acting unlike myself he knew I was irritated. Artanis sent him away almost instantly. Things went only downhill from there, and she openly voiced something that made my hackles stand on end. She had had a thing for that demon of a man. I couldn't handle it. Anyone who could tolerate that crazy lunatic besides Sisairen was mad, and it made me wonder if I were not somehow sane in all of this. I'm not entirely sure why it made me so enraged, but it did. I left in a hurry and much to my dismay ran smack-dab into none other than Neriasis himself. I told him to go, that I did not wish to speak with him nor deal with him in any way, shape, or form. I would slay him for certain, even if it meant my own death, and he knew it. He took me by the wrists because I called him a pervert and was outright nasty to him, and pressed me against the wall. I stabbed him with the dagger gripped in my hand in a vain attempt to force him to drop me, and he in turn slammed me against the wall, causing minute bruises along my spinal column. I told him to do as he wished by this point, and was referring to cutting, hacking, and slaying me but he had other things on his mind, if one could only guess what those would be. Rape. I struggled harder and he, being larger, stronger, and a God at that, held me still. A woman appeared then, her hair the colour of raven, her dress akin, pallid and with a blade in her hand. She told him to drop me and he did just that. I took that small sliver of time to escape and took off, shouting for Artanis and Sisairen, or anyone that would come. They, along with Shenta and the Great Beast of Order arrived and before long the aforementioned creature and woman were sending me on my way via flight. Let me tell you, that is not an experience I ever want to feel again. I can't help but wonder whatever happened to that woman. She saved my life, and for that I am grateful and indebted, but how do you repay someone you don't even know? At the time those particular thoughts were not on my mind, for it turns out that Taiyo had gone missing throughout all of this and I was particularly worried about her. She returned eventually to my arms, but not until much later in the day. We arrived at an inn - this inn in fact - a short time later and who should I run into? Neriasis, of course. I was washing the blood that he had bled on my shirts when he appeared, locking Artanis in our room and me inside the bathhouse I guess you could call it. Anyone could guess what was on his mind as he pushed me into a corner. I used a spell that I had learned from one of the books quite a ways back - the HarmShield - and sent him reeling backwards, causing a bloody gash across his forhead and still more across his chest. He was downright pissed now. In exchange for the thoughts preying on his mind I asked him for death, to end my life as I knew it so that I may walk the path of Death and enter the Final Gateway, rather than endure the pain and humiliation that he would have had befall me. Neriasis did something then that I could never have fathomed before. He kneeled before me and apologized. He apologized for all he had done, all the torment he had put me through and then left, leaving all doors unlocked. Immediately I set out for Artanis, and held her by the door just before Taiyo came fluttering in, wings spread wide as I caught her in my arms. All was calm for nought but a few minutes, and then the arguing began. Artanis and I, we seem to argue a lot. And these arguments are of silly things, too. She wanted me to open up and I do not think I have that ability. I don't think I honestly ever have nor ever will. And yet still she did. I finally gave into her maddened desires, seccumbed to her will and she asked questions and I answered. We laid down to sleep then, and now I write here with my hair erect on my forhead on the one side, bothering the living hell out of me. I quite honestly don't know how I should be feeling right now, or what is going to happen in the days to come, but I can most certainly hope that things spiral upward for my physical being and downward for my emotional one. Quite frankly I prefer to be known as the dark and depressed and distant necromancer, not the light, care-free one whom everyone loves. I have built this shell around my body for a reason, a reason that I will strive to keep before I lose it entirely. But only the future will determine if this is to be so. I suppose I will close this now and find myself some amusement at the front. Artanis is still asleep and I do not wish to wake her. Until next time. You fifth dance with the dead... >Tsuki< |
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| MidnightShadow | Dec 19 2004, 04:50 PM Post #7 |
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If she were warm and fuzzy she'd be a kitten
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[Allow Replies? NO] I've been out on my own for a few days now. We disbanded in Neriasis' mystery town the following day after another run-in filled with one hell of a nightmare. Somehow I am not surprised, as it seems to be a very common problem when I'm anywhere near the Order Kingdom, Neriasis, or even Artanis. We crossed paths with a drow by the name of Nymmyr. He and his little friends had decided that it would be funny to poke and pry in my mind. I sent a creature classified as a simple shadow in the form of a dracling after him and his pals. It turns out that this drow was highly displeased and returned a short while later whilst we were visiting these strange cows that Artanis was so interested in. Sisairen was there too. Anyway, this drow had absorbed the shadow's spell, apparently, and had decided to release it into the fence, splintering it. He is mute - this we have found. He spoke to me in my mind and told me that Artanis was beautiful and that it would seem that we are not together, for we entered the town in hostility. He taunted me so I returned the favour by making a mockery of him because he could not speak and so it became a battle; necromancer versus pisionicist. I did not take the usual route, which would be to summon a creature and run, but instead held my ground and fueled mana directly into my hands and began casting spells. This is not my way, yet it seemed to prove the most effective. Nymmyr defended for much of the battle and only posed one casting. I defended it with the HarmShield, yet it was powerful enough to shatter it. I decided to summon a beast - one that had died and its remains had been left beneath the town for quite some time. It came to my calling but was much too powerful for me to defend against, and I fell to its grasp, becoming possessed. Neriasis was summoned and he truly became the embodiment of Order. He would have sacrificed my life had the creature not been forced back beyond the Fourth Gateway and then yonder the Final, ensnared within Neriasis' magic. Nymmyr left and after lunch (which was quite the interesting event, let me tell you) we went our separate ways. So here I am now, alone. Well, that's not entirely true, actually. Taiyo is nearby, hunting I presume, and there is another... I shall tell of him in time, but first there are events left yet to be explained. I met with a woman on a volcano in the Light Realm. I have not the knowledge of its name, just that I had found my way there, as had she. She seemed to take an interest in me for my peculiar abilities, and between much discussion and arguing, cut a way through the volcano which would then give us access to an area in which to escape the dreaded land. It was blistering hot and not at all to my tastes. I would gladly stand in the arctic than live there, as the case may be for the people who have populated various areas surrounding or on the mountain of fire. Once we had parted ways I had not expected to meet with her again, but it turns out we would at the Lake of Fae. I came to know her as Aymara, and she had found that not only am I a slayer of children, but a hemophiliac as well. She had a proposition for me. It turns out that her partner - whom is now dead - was a necromancer and a hemophiliac as well. So rare is our breed. It is not enough that a necromancer is rare, but still rarer is hemophilia. It is strange to find two people who share a similar illness and who also are of the necromantic breed. For a moment I wondered if I could be his descendant. I quickly dismissed it. She was an angel. I understood not why she would seek a necromancer, but she did. If I were to wear a bracelet around my wrist she would watch my pulse. Should it become abnormal (or for me, anyway) then she would make her appearance to sort it all out. I reluctantly agreed and took what was Simi Yi's piece of jewelry and slipped it around my wrist. It is a familiar weight now whereas it was not before. I will never trust Aymara, for to trust her is to open my very heart to her. That is something I will never do to the inhabitants of this world. The days droned on silently and after two or three nights had passed I met with a boy. He was a half elf by the name of Aeil. He was only twelve and was carrying around one hell of a scythe. I am relieved to know that he had no intentions of using it against me, but instead shared his provisions with me - a stranger, an elf; a demon of the night. Slowly he broke down my illness, generalizing and slowly pinpointing it. When I asked him to name it he did. He said that my blood did not flow as most creatures' did, which is often detectable by other elves. Perhaps this boy possesses more qualities known to elves than to humans. As the conversation turned he offered to protect me. I am beginning to tire of these people. He, along with three others, has essentially sworn his life to me. It is bad enough that I have a Goddess, but to have this boy...! He's only twelve! I do not need protection! Have I not defended myself since I was young? Since I left home? I've been out on my own for at least one hundred years. I am not a colt looking for a mother. I am a man looking for survival in this barren world. Will there be no peace? Of course I did agree in the end... Might as well. If it means that my life has a slightly better chance of not being put on the line I can hardly disagree. I have sent the boy off to do whatever he pleases - he does not need to see me writing in this little black book. I don't even know why I carry it around anymore... Ah well. I think I'll make way towards the Immortal Gardens now. It might give me a bit of peace since this last little while has been excruciatingly stressful. Fare thee well... Your sixth dance with the dead... >Tsuki< |
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| MidnightShadow | Dec 29 2004, 10:03 PM Post #8 |
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If she were warm and fuzzy she'd be a kitten
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[Allow Replies? NO] I have found myself entering Death much more frequently than ever before. Whenever I have a moment's peace, whenever I have one second in which I am not tending to something that directly concerns me I have allowed my mind to slip into its frigid realm. It is cold there, much colder than you could ever imagine. Usually I am very warm there yet strangely cold to the touch, but as of late it has not been so. Artanis has my long-sleeved shirt, thusly I am left with only the short-sleeved and that is hardly enough to keep me warm at night, let alone in Death. I have found myself wandering beyond the First Gateway, heading so far as to pass the Fourth. There is a river in the aforementioned, one that shifts quietly. Much of Death - in my eyes anyway - is enshrouded in shades of grey. It is not bright and cheery but dark and depressing. The river trickles and bubbles merrily along yet you know that its voice is nought but a lie, allowing those that have passed to believe that there is yet some hope for them in the distant future. Alas, there is not. What future is there if you are dead? I suppose I'm just depressed... I've been as such for days. No particular reason either. I've just been feeling more withdrawn. Even Taiyo has noticed it and has tried to cheer up this necromancer and has failed. She knows how far into Death I have travelled by how much frost and ice clinging to my freezing body. She knows when I have plunged too far and pulls me from my trance, forcing me to return, bringing life into a pallid elf. I oft wonder where I would be without her. Such is my life now... Death is my only solitude and always has been. It is my solace and my comfort, and whether one understands or not is of no concern to me. As long as they leave me alone I am content. Speaking of which, Artanis is to be away for a week now. After a disastrous journey (one that I shan't be giving any details to here) into a cavern to find a puzzle piece, her true intentions were revealed. I have felt used, betrayed, and have perceived her actions as cruel and unjust. She would cast us into Limbo if she had her way, believing that it would bring solitude to her. If she loves Sisairen, Neriasis, Licha, and I so, then why would she cast us there like pawns? Or is it all a fallacy that she plays so well? She requested that Neriasis cast her into the Abyss (as I will come to call the places that have no name in my memory bank), and though I think that was just as cruel, I watched her go, tears brimming in her emerald eyes. She will return soon, but will she still be as she was before she left? I do not wish to be her rag doll after she returns. On the subject of the God of Order (as I seem to be flipping randomly; I can't help it, it's been a while since I've felt such a need to jot my feelings down in this cryptic writing), he has requested that I dine with him one fine night. Sisairen left him, which somehow I didn't doubt would happen sooner or later. Their relationship was falling apart. He asked that I would dine with him for the temple will be lonely and quiet during this week. I know not his intentions and, quite frankly, do not wish to know, but have agreed anyway. I could use the meal. As I've been described: 'All skin and bones'. Heh, such is the life of a necromancer. Where will I go? I am not sure yet, but soon perhaps I will be. For now I await a message from Neriasis, and when that time comes I will make for the Order Kingdom. Fare thee well... Your seventh dance with the dead... >Tsuki< |
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