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| Gozrik's Mobile Beer Shower/ Bar/ Romance-Mobile; NAKARA | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 13 2017, 03:04 PM (111 Views) | |
| Gozrik | Mar 13 2017, 03:04 PM Post #1 |
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"TURN THAT SHIT UP!" A glass slid across the table, clattering off the table with a crash and spilling what actually looked like a well made mojito across the floor. Of course, that did not really effect much seeing as Gozrik had turned the entire room into a shower. A beer shower, to be precise. It was a perfect solution! He had the mariachi band (hired through him rigging their families to explode if they didn't play in his bar for a week, free of charge. Admittedly one of them was actually a classical pianist, but he had gone along with being told he was a jazz harpist with only some persuasion) and they were laying down some sick beats. Sort of, it was hard to hear. Partly because of the constant patter of beer hitting the floor from the many, many shower heads, partly because the fully stocked bar had a lot of glass rattling around (the bartender had actually come along willingly because he just wanted to see what the hell happened) but, mostly, because the entire bar was moving. Admittedly it was not the largest bar in the world. Other than a small counter there were three tables, and a small corner for the band. If you did not know better you would swear it used to belong to a peasant family, but nobody could prove Gozrik had shot them in the head and stole their living room. The team pulled the entire contraption down the path to a particular mansion Gozrik had singled out , or rather shouted a name at the driver until he understood what was being asked of him. Sure, he could of gone to get Kist, but seeing as Gozrik had been naked the entire time (save his eye-patch and a gun taped to his shoulder) and had spent the last half an hour standing on a table and gyrating, he felt it wrong. No, this was basically romance in its purest form, and you did not romance your daughter. It was just wrong. Nakara though, she was a mixture of many things. As strong as he was smart, as smoking hot as he was ruggedly handsome, able to party as well as he did and overall she was up there in his top five non-Krauswich's in the world. He did not know who else was, but why did that matter. His chef wasn't. He had demanded toast and he had been given soggy, beer flavoured toast. He had to go. Still, this was his greatest feat of engineering of all time! There was a screech as the entire contraption struggled to stop, and the dwarf was thrown to the floor, and the band paused for a moment before a glare started them up again. Gozrik grinned and jumped to his feet, a cocktail olive clutched between his teeth. With a bound he threw open the curtains the formed the front door and with a blood curdling scream ripped his gun (and a good deal of hair) from his arm. By some miracle all four of his shots hit the broadside of the house in front of him. "HEY! NAKARA, COME HERE! I HAVE SOME STUFF TO GIVE YOU!" he thrusted his hips forwards "BRING LOADS OF STUFF!" he stopped to throw his head back and take a mouthful of beer. "ITS AMAZING! I AM SO GREAT I DON'T EVEN GET IT! I ALSO SAW A DUCK, IT WAS CUTE AND FLUFFY AND IT TASTED REALLY GOOD! YOU MIGHT WANT TO BRING A SHOWER CAP! ALSO A DUCK IF YOU HAVE ONE! COME OUT IN FIVE MINUTES OR I BLOW YOUR HOUSE UP!" He threw the curtain closed and went to order a pint of rum from the bar. "So, doe sir reckon this is the correct house?" "When have I ever been wrong?" "Well, third time is the charm. How many Nakara's Besselementalcheese-youknowtheonewholooksaliitleblokeishbutinahotway's do you think there are in the world anyway?" "ONE! But imposters are everywhere! Apparently some guy in Angkar claims to be the Queen. I'M THE QUEEN OF ANGKAR DAMMIT! LIES AND IMPOSTERS EVERYWHERE!" "Damn shame sir" "It is! Now shut up, I am going to dance instead of talking to you as I do not want or value your opinion" He downed his drink and got up to continue to dance, splashing beer everywhere as he did so. He had really improved on his running man, after all. |
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| Nakara Besschentyil | Mar 13 2017, 05:39 PM Post #2 |
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@$^#$^%!!!!!
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The day had started out sour, with Nakara waking up on the floor of the wine cellar cradling an unopened bottle of vintage that had a bunch of sewing needles, of all things, stuck into the cork. Evidently she had tried to open it with the needles but had only succeeded in mangling and shredding the thing, and when she woke up she dropped it like a hot potato and ran upstairs like hell itself was chasing her. Prohibition sucked. There were good days, but there were also bad days, and it had felt like there were so few bad days when she had a drink in hand even though technically every day she had to spend on this stupid rock was a bad one. What she needed was a distraction -- a rolling tavern or something, to crash right into the side of the house and spill vodka or something everywhere. The kind of sign from the gods everyone waited for, but no one ever got. A screech floated in from the open window of her room and her eyes narrowed. "TURN THAT SHIT DOWN, I'M TRYING TO BE BROODING AND DRAMATIC IN HERE." Four resounding bangs from the side of the house snapped her into a sitting position and probably gave heart attacks to everyone else. "HEY! NAKARA, COME HERE! I HAVE SOME STUFF TO GIVE YOU!" She frowned severely. There was only one person in the world who was that loud and obnoxious. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and strode to the window, poking her head out to confirm her suspicions. The contraption he stood in boggled her mind, as she couldn't see inside, and though his wang was not as painted and blue as she remembered it she recognized the dude it belonged to. All at once the bad day turned into the Best Day, and she grinned widely. "WAIT A SEC, I'LL GO AND COLLECT THINGS!" The servants all parted like the red sea as she dashed down the hallway and out into the gardens behind the house, ripping her shirt off and stuffing every duck from the pond that wasn't fast enough to get out of her way into her pants. "Prohibition is temporarily off!" She alerted the garden happily. With that done she darted over to the shed and ripped the door from its hinges, much to the groundskeepers' dismay, and carried it over her head as she ran around the entire mansion towards the mobile... house thing, that Gozrik had arrived in. The entire process took three minutes. "Pardon me, bitches!!" Her long legs carried her past the driver and into the curtained-off interior of the beer shower. Proudly she stood, wearing only the tape around her tatas, her boots and her duck-filled trousers holding the shed door over her head. "I HAVE ARRIVED, MY GOOD DUDE, AND I HAVE BROUGHT YOU DUCKS AND A DOOR!" She paused, seeing the showers and smelling the beer. Her pupils dilated. "Oh. My. God." She dropped the door all at once and leaped onto the bar, hanging over it backwards and positioning her mouth under a tap while the ducks quacked angrily in her pants. After a good guzzle she swung herself back up, stood, and raised her fists into the air. "MY DEAR NAKED MAN I HAVE MISSED YOU! LET'S GO BLOW SOMETHING UP!" Edited by Nakara Besschentyil, Mar 13 2017, 05:41 PM.
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| Gozrik | Mar 23 2017, 02:31 PM Post #3 |
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Nakara entered the building(?) to find Gozrik leaning back on a chair, a cigar somehow lit in his mouth and a grin on his face. "Welcome my dear, to the best place in the world. DRIVER! MOVE!" The whole contraption suddenly lurched into motion and drinks spilled. Weirdly the tables did not fall over, despite evidently not being nailed down. It was all part of the engineering genius of the being that legally was a dwarf, although might by now be genetically closer to a distillery. With a laugh he watched Nakara drink as much as possible in a short amount of time, before tackling her as she stood up and lifting her onto his shoulders, almost showing her face directly into a ceiling mounted showerhead. Thie left his head next to a duck, which his one free eye stared at, before he spat his cigar out, managing to bounce it off the creatures beak before it hit him in the face and fell to the floor. This led to a whole eight seconds before he got bored and pushed the woman off his shoulders and caught her in his arms, bridal style. "Did you miss me? Did you miss me?" he almost shouted as he span around in a circle "What have you done? Who have you killed? Were they fun? I hope they were really handsome, and just a little bit fat" he paused and pulled his face mere millimetres from hers "and absolutely fucking nuts." He paused for a moment before placing a kiss on her nose "boop" and standing up, placing her down and pushing her to the bar, with a quick shout for the bartender to start passing her spirits as he collapsed onto the floor, waving his arms and legs to make beer angels in the lightly pooling liquid. "Nice house by the way. It held up to gunfire really well. I might steal it one day" he added, musing "Make it into a boat, sell it to some rich prick, blow it up and then have sex with his attractive teenage sons and daughters" he paused "Or I could start a cult. You ever started a cult" he looked up at her "Nah. With tits like that a cult would start around you" he fell back again and clicked his fingers, catching an expertly thrown bottle of rum from the barman a moment later and pouring it into his mouth. "I reckon a similar thing could happen with this thing" he pointed to his crotch. At no point did he wonder where they were going. |
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