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The Twilight Of My Ass; Anti-Stephenie Meyer
Topic Started: May 9 2008, 04:13 AM (12,765 Views)
Rikkulicious
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Bloodbath
May 10 2008, 01:53 PM
:lmao:!!!! Why is there a cross there? o__O And lol, another weakness removed. Do they have any weaknesses?

There aren't any vampires in the Bible. :tard: Sad, isn't it?

:lmao: I want to know too. Anyone who's read the book, do they have any weaknesses? xD Other than, er, werewolves and each other?
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Lute
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Nope. Garlic? Naw. Crosses? Nixed. Sleeping at night? THEY DON'T SLEEP. Coffins? No, dey be sum refined folks. D:

The cross was Carlisle's father's. D: I believe.
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Skelly
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a strange angel
We spam this thread like crazy.

They have Bella as a weakness, apparently. Everyone seems to want her/love her because of her crazy smell---which, btw, makes them want to kill her. Retarded, IMO. It sounds like a fanfic. It also makes her look bad because she's got like, five boys waiting after Edward.

Apparently, she also gets married to Edward near the end. o__O It's like OC/OTH with blood.
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Rikkulicious
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Gah, I also hate how everyone must be in love with Bella. Not very realistic. Sue, much?
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Lute
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They're just engaged. As of now.

(SPAM FTW.)

Well, the smell thing is just Edward - apparetly, there're some people whose bloodz are liek woah to certain vamps. So yeah. D:

Plus, Bella's getting really annoying - "LAWL EDWARD BYTE ME PLZPLZPLZPZLZPLZPZLZPLZPLZPLZ I WANNA SUCK BLOODZ." ;;

Ugh. Over-hyped novels. D: <

Well, about the only part of Twilight I like is Jasper and Alice. D: They're good characters, and COULD be better if it wasn't so cheesy. PLUS Jasper, Emmett (and Carlisle) aren't after Bella...Well, duh, they already have their lurves. Dx

So, yeah, after Edward, there's Jacob, Mike, Eric, and Tyler, I think. Dx GEE, BELLA.
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Skelly
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a strange angel
Lol. pimp She could prolly earn a lot of money from them. :mellow:
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Lute
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Ohhhh, yes she could. xP
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Damaged
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Remember your pride
Bloodbath
May 10 2008, 12:46 PM
Hello Damaged! : D!

Hi ^^

To be honest, I love the books, and that's why I can't wait for the fourth installment, but it being better than the Bible...?

The Bible put me to sleep, and I really did try to read it, so I can see why people would think that, but the Bible deals with religion and whatnot (I think it's a good fairytale *dodges random object*), but Twilight deals with Vampires. There were no Vampires in the Bible, isn't that a shame. I'm sure if the person that had originally wrote the Bible had put Vampires in it, then it would be a hot seller. But NO! He just had to put stuff like religion in it.

Sorry about that, I was comparing ^^

What I don't get is there was a "thing" with Bella and Jacob, but that went away once Edward came into the picture. and not to mention, Edward hates Jacob because he's a warewolf. That reminds me too much of religion (akward how that keeps coming up isn't it). Like, the Christians (some, not all) hate others because they don't believe in their God (my friend and I actually had a debate on this ^^)

And doesn't the fanbase realize that they are never going to find someone like Edward or the whole Cullen family? They don't exist. There is no such thing as a prince charming (from what I believe anyways). Trust me, one person actually came up to me because I was holding Eclipse, and asked me if I had found anyone like Edward to date. I rolled my eyes and walked away. Then that same day, I kept heard people call their boyfriends Edward, like they were some God or something. Edward isn't a God, he is the farthest thing away from Him.


Sorry about all the religion stuff, but I was trying to make a point.
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ephemeral july
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Soulmates
. . .
. . .

So, basically Twilight is all about godly vampires that have no weaknesses WHATSOEVER and a measely human girl -- who's supposed to look plain, from what I've heard -- but somehow every other character and his mama wants a piece of her? & the main guy falls in love with her despite the humoungous age gap? :ermm:

How is this a best seller again?

Oh, because it deals with smexilicious vampires. Silly me questioning idiotic fandom logic again.

& all this time I thought intricately woven not to mention ORIGINAL plotlines is what made a book excellent.

Excuse me while I go throw up. xD

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Lute
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EXACTLY, EJ. You win. <33

Lawl, Damaged, a buncha people wrote the Bible. Prophets and whatnot. That's why there're so many books. : D Each book is someone else's writing (well, mostly, Moses did the first five). Ahhh, I have random knowledge about it and stuff since I go to Seminary, so ja. No Bible dissing, plz. I beleef, mmtay. ;;


Waiit, there was no "thing" with Jake and Bella, D! Edward was there first. D: xDD

Well, Stephenie Meyer's Mormon (liek me! Wewt~) So there's bound to be religious references in it, but I don't think the hate is part of it. O-o Really, hate isn't a part of our faith. D: Why hate someone for believing what they believe? I honestly think that the vamp-wolf dilemma is just something that she created for her world.

Although my novel's gonna be 100 x better. >:3
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Rikkulicious
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AHEM. Lute. Lute! Does your novel have smexy vampires in it? Yeah, didn't think so. How the hell are you going to have a best-seller with that? Pfft, foolish girl.
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Lute
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No, ah am afraid mah novel has none of dem thar vamp airs. Ah am afeared ah shan't get a publishar now, y'all. How foolhardy ah am, ah see. D:
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Rikkulicious
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Lutearina
May 10 2008, 03:47 PM
No, ah am afraid mah novel has none of dem thar vamp airs. Ah am afeared ah shan't get a publishar now, y'all. How foolhardy ah am, ah see. D:

~sigh~ It's alright, I suppose everyone must start somewhere. All you need to do is add a vampire and I'm sure it'll be a hit. Okay? Btw, make sure to prove the myths wrong and show that they're invincible to everything.
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Lute
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I'll do that. Don't punish me for my ignorance, Rikku. D; I repent. D;

LAWL. Srsly though, in my other novel (I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS UGH ;;) there IS a vampire, but he isn't....really....completely? It's hard to describe. AND THEY AREN'T ALL THESE GAWJUSS INVINCIBLE KREECHAS, MMKAY. He's pretty retarded sometimes.

There really isn't anything wrong with vamps, to anyone who thinks I'm hay'ing on them, but when they become like gawds, that's when you need to stop. D:
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Kaldea
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fantôme
Lutearina
May 10 2008, 02:18 PM
There really isn't anything wrong with vamps, to anyone who thinks I'm hay'ing on them, but when they become like gawds, that's when you need to stop. D:

I love vampires. I hate Twilight for making them into dumbasses with hard ons for human teens.

Read the Vampire Chronicles or Vampire Hunter D novels. D:!
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