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The Twilight Of My Ass; Anti-Stephenie Meyer
Topic Started: May 9 2008, 04:13 AM (12,744 Views)
Loveholic
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<3
A miracle child from a vampire?? RIP-OFF!!!! That sounds exactly like Angel, only............ lamer. :lmao:
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Damaged
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Remember your pride
I thought of that as well, but Conor was kick ass...

Anyways, back on topic. Since *spoiler*


Jacob inprints on the child

isn't that technically a.... out-of-breed relationship (whenever it happens)?

I always thought that vampires could only breed with other vampires or turn a human into a vampire and breed with them. I'm confused.
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Alantie
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Dreams the world far away
Not really- Nessie -*GAG*- is half vampire half human. SHe has a heart beat and everything, so she's technically alive, and her vampire side makes her immortal or whatever. It was confusing. But anyway, she's half human, and Jake is essentially human though he can turn into a wolf. *shrugs* It's no more out of breed than considering Bella/Jake or Bella/Edward or whatever.

Damaged
 
I always thought that vampires could only breed with other vampires or turn a human into a vampire and breed with them. I'm confused.


Y'know, a lot of the other fans are saying the same thing, that SMeyer said that vampires couldn't breed or reproduce at all. I distinctly remember reading her saying that in several places, though I can't locate them anymore. I guess she decided to pull a JKR and break her own set rules. Bleh.

Seriously, I'm becoming really pissed off with authors lately, not just SM- why the hell can't they finish a series without destroying it anymore??? Stay the hell out of people's fanfiction UNTIL you've finished your work, then you can read it all you want. I'm just disgusted by how many series I enjoy have been completely trashed at the end, and I'm seriously thinking that a huge part of the problem is the authors have been dabbling in the fandoms too much.
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Loveholic
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Alantie
Aug 5 2008, 08:17 AM
Not really- Nessie -*GAG*- is half vampire half human. SHe has a heart beat and everything, so she's technically alive, and her vampire side makes her immortal or whatever. It was confusing.

That kinda sounds creepy, a human vampire who doesn't grow old. :giggle: I bet SM's gonna write a spin-off with the mutant babies, and how they'll grow up and fall in love and continue the cycle of miraculous vampire-on-werewolf-on-human-on-halfvampire mutations.
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Damaged
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Remember your pride
Alantie
Aug 4 2008, 05:17 PM
Y'know, a lot of the other fans are saying the same thing, that SMeyer said that vampires couldn't breed or reproduce at all. I distinctly remember reading her saying that in several places, though I can't locate them anymore. I guess she decided to pull a JKR and break her own set rules. Bleh.


I remember reading it as well, but I don't remember where. They've broken their own rules, which to me, is like a set of morals. Once you break your morals, you loose everything.

Off topic for a moment. So what did JKR do to break her own rules? Just curious.
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Seii Monogatari
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Fishy McLuv Carp
Please sign me up, I just now noticed this club. My god those books need to be heaped into a pile and burned. Just BURNED. I don't even think they should be recycled because some of their epic fail may contaminate the new materials.
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Alantie
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Dreams the world far away
Damaged
Aug 4 2008, 07:31 PM
I remember reading it as well, but I don't remember where. They've broken their own rules, which to me, is like a set of morals. Once you break your morals, you loose everything.

Off topic for a moment. So what did JKR do to break her own rules? Just curious.

One of JKR's core things was that: "No spell can reawaken the dead." I mean, how many times has that been stressed through the series? A person cannot be brought back to life. But what does she do? In good ol' book 7, she smashed that to bits and resurected Harry. Because, you know, Harry is GOD and couldn't die. To hell with a thing set in stone through the entire series! Dumbledore, Snape, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and James can all die, but heaven forbid Harry should!

... Sorry. *sweat* It still ticks me off. But yeah, off topic!

I'm not sure but I heard a rumor that SM got rid of the stuff that said that vampires couldn't reproduce- in otherwords, yeah, she changed her own rules. Ugh. It just irritates me when authors break their rules, and in a non effective corny way.

If she DOES write stuff about Nessie, I will refuse to read it. Unless Seth gets some big limelight. But then, I'd only read the parts with him. XD
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Damaged
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Oh yeah! I never read the 7th book of HP XD

Anyways, who is Seth again? Or does he only appear in the 4th one? *is shot*
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Alantie
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Dreams the world far away
Ooops. XD Did I just kill it for you? SORRY!!! *cringes*

Seth Clearwater is Leah's little brother. He's mentioned briefly in New Moon, and in Eclipse, he's the wolf who stays behind with Edward to help him protect Bella. <3 I love the little guy.
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nyrin
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Water tribe what!

OMG THIS CLUB ROCKS

I've long hated this series and hated how Meyer could disguise a shit teen melodrama rife with misogyny, urple prose and hysteria as legitimate romance. It also makes me sick to my stomach that authors like her get tons of money for publishing mediocrity whereas other writers have to struggle just to get seen because they're not writing about omg twu wuv and sparkly vampires! I couldn't even get through the first book.

After that I just kept an eye on the fandom because it was growing increasingly wanky by the day and boy do I heart wank <3

Now, with Breaking Dawn, I finally have a cure for my 'summer boredom'. Here's two particularly juicy entries you should see:

report 1

report 2

Prepare to lose sleep. The "Oh No They Didn't" LJ community post is particularly high-larious :D

I wonder what Kristen'll say once she learns she's gonna have her placenta ripped out by Cedric Diggory's super sharp vampire teeth? Plus mmmm bestial pedophilia and telepathetic rapidly maturing superbabies! Leave it to Meyer to provide the lulz

Now we just have to come up with a ship name for Albus Severus x Renesme


Quote:
 
I thought of that as well, but Conor was kick ass...


AGREED. Even at his whiniest, Connor >>>>> The Loch Ness Monster. Especially once he lost his memories and became 'normal' in season 5.
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True Serenity
Advanced Member
I'm sorry but this person's comment is hilarious. :3

source yeah

from ohnotheydidnt @ LJ
 
this bitch gives me hope that a person could write a book about - like, idk - a walrus and a chicken getting involved in some forbidden, clandestine romance, and as long as the majority of preteen girls in the world can relate to the clumsy but universally beautiful chicken, it will sell SHITLOADS.


Anyway, I have no clue whatsoever what the series is really all about (except the basics - there's sparkly vampire Edward and his human bbymama Bella, etc.; and enough BD spoilers to immediately call this book a piece of shit), but when I tried to read a page of BD in the bookstore today, I just wanted to punch someone in the face. It was like, real cheesy bad fanfic. ):

whysofailsmeyer Posted Image
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Aerith Gainsborough
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The Devil's Advocate
True Serenity
Aug 5 2008, 06:20 AM
I'm sorry but this person's comment is hilarious. :3

source yeah

from ohnotheydidnt @ LJ
 
this bitch gives me hope that a person could write a book about - like, idk - a walrus and a chicken getting involved in some forbidden, clandestine romance, and as long as the majority of preteen girls in the world can relate to the clumsy but universally beautiful chicken, it will sell SHITLOADS.


Anyway, I have no clue whatsoever what the series is really all about (except the basics - there's sparkly vampire Edward and his human bbymama Bella; and enough BD spoilers to immediately call this book a piece of shit), but when I tried to read a page of BD in the bookstore today, I just wanted to punch someone in the face. It was like, real cheesy bad fanfic. ):

whysofailsmeyer Posted Image

I want to burn every copy of the Twilight series. How dare such crap waste the time of millions of teens when they could be doing something -useful, or who could at least be reading -decent- literature?
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Amathala
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Snoogans!
Bwahaha, not here to join, but I wanted to share this with you all http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630150.html

Enjoy...cracked me right up
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Damaged
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Remember your pride
Alantie
Aug 4 2008, 11:09 PM
Ooops. XD Did I just kill it for you? SORRY!!! *cringes*

Seth Clearwater is Leah's little brother. He's mentioned briefly in New Moon, and in Eclipse, he's the wolf who stays behind with Edward to help him protect Bella. <3 I love the little guy.

I'm reading it now to get my own opinion and so far, it's tolorable (can't spell!). So no, you didn't ruin it for me. My friend already did XD. And I never planned on finishing the HP series unless someone'll let me borrow the books, so it's fine ^^

Off to read the links ^^


Edit like 3 days later:

Look, I made a blog!

The Twilight Of My Ass

THREE GUSSES WHERE I GOT THE NAME FROM! What? It made sense.
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Kaldea
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fantôme
DAMMIT SM. YOU JUST HAD TO VENTURE INTO DHAMPIR COUNTRY, DIDN'T YOU? *SLITS*
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