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The Twilight Of My Ass; Anti-Stephenie Meyer
Topic Started: May 9 2008, 04:13 AM (12,747 Views)
Kuraudo
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WHAT ARE WE LOOKING AT? I CAN'T SEE ANY PICTURE. FASDFSADFS

Is it horrid?
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Kaldea
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fantôme
I put it on a different link. URL'd for great justice

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Kuraudo
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I've never seen two people look so ugly even with all of the lighting and Photoshop effects. He looks disgusting and she looks like she's made out of plastic.

THIS IS REAL?
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Damaged
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Remember your pride
It's still.... disturbing....

I hope it isn't real. For the sake of my gender...
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Nevi
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let us be lovers.
After SMeyer runs out of legitimate times of day to name her books... After the fanbase refuses to let the series die... After the writing becomes too terrible for hardback... After Mike Newton publishes his autobiography...
There is this...
"He took her into his cold, marble, hairy arms..."

I made this for a community on LJ, thought you all would get a kick out of it.
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Damaged
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Remember your pride
You saying that raises a question. If she continues it after Breaking Dawn, what is she going to call it? I mean, we have Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, so what is next? Albedo (the darkside of the moon)? Crater? Solar? Lunar? OMGTHISISAHORRIBLESERIESANDTHEFANBASEISTAKINGITWAYTOFAR?

Woah... that's a long title XD
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Skelly
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a strange angel
AHAHAHAHA. omg. That's just woah. He looks like he might say, "May I have snack nowz? :3"

And Nevi, your edited version is hilarious. XD XD XD Don't worry, in a not-too-distant future, Bella'll be having kids with self-esteem problems: OH MY GOD. WHY DO I HAVE HALF NORMAL GENES FROM MY PLAINBORINGWEIRD MUM? D: D: D:
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Miss Yukari
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Fabulously Lazy
Awesome sparkle!cover is awesome.

Ahaha, that's brilliant, Nevi! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

As for titles, how about 'Waxing: it's not just a phase of the moon, Edward McChestWig'
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Nevi
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let us be lovers.
Skelly
Jul 11 2008, 05:59 PM
And Nevi, your edited version is hilarious. XD XD XD Don't worry, in a not-too-distant future, Bella'll be having kids with self-esteem problems: OH MY GOD. WHY DO I HAVE HALF NORMAL GENES FROM MY PLAINBORINGWEIRD MUM? D: D: D:

lulz, thanks bbs! XD

No, Taco-Bella's kids are going to be full human, I think. She'll eventually get bored of all the sparkly, sexy monsters and she'll start shagging Mike Newton. And it's about time, too! :tard:
I can imagine it now... it'd be just like Juno. lol
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Kusari Yarou
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That's awesome, Nevi. Reminds me of those romance novel cover spoofs I linked :lol:

Twilight made gofugyourself!:

Quote:
 
So, Twilight is really, really popular, right? If you haven't read it, I guarantee that someone you know has, and is probably obsessed with it. I am not personally a huge fan for a variety of reasons, which I won't get into because I don't need Twilight fans after my ass (okay: basically I think a lot of the plot points which are presented as being Super Romantic are actually creepy and stalkery and, listen, you just should not be okay with it if you find out that this dude you're seeing has been sneaking into your house unbeknownst to you and watching you sleep all night, every night, even if it's under the guise of "protecting you" or something because for one thing, if you need protection, don't you have a right to know that from the get-go instead of being treated like someone from a 1940s three-hankie weeper where the doctor and Bette Davis's husband, like, make the executive decision not to tell the little lady that she's got a giant brain tumor? ....I'll stop there. Don't email me! I know tons of people love it. My very own sister is obsessed with it. I get it. I read all the Anne Rice Lestat books. I've BEEN THERE.)

Anyhoodle, the book stresses over and over and over and over and over again that Cedric Diggory's character up there is like the Most Beautiful, Handsome, Glorious, Sparkly (yes, he literally sparkles) Boy Alive -- or, you know, Undead, since he's a vampire and all. Whereas, I feel like THIS particular version of Edward....would have a hard time passing as a high school student. As he looks like a zombie. Not even a hot zombie. A zombie in need of a good hot oil treatment. No matter what issues I have with the book, the dude is supposed to be HOT. All vampires are hot. It's like a rule of pop culture. Have we learned NOTHING from Buffy? (Well, considering that she'd tell this poor sap to put away the chest pubes, make a joke about his lipstick and stake his ass instead of swooning with some produce, I guess not.) Oh, Entertainment Weekly. First, your cruddy re-design and now this. What am I going to do with you?


It's nice to get Twilight bashing from what I consider a damn good source XD
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Damaged
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Remember your pride
I laughed.... hard.... It's so true. Thank you so much for posting that bit of information from your source. They were funny.
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Nevi
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let us be lovers.
Kusari Yarou
Jul 12 2008, 10:33 AM
That's awesome, Nevi. Reminds me of those romance novel cover spoofs I linked :lol:

Yes! That's totally what made me think of the idea! XD


Well, considering that she'd tell this poor sap to put away the chest pubes, make a joke about his lipstick and stake his ass instead of swooning with some produce, I guess not.
LOL! Buffy would totally be able to resist the charms of Edward. She's dealt with your kind before, bub! It's not her first rodeo. :tard: <- I think I'm abusing this particular smilie too much.

EDIT: I figured this club needed a banner.
Posted Image
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Skelly
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a strange angel
*DIES*



OH MY GOD. THAT IS AMAZING NEVI. :lmao:
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Moo the Quacking COW!
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CxA's very own resident quacking cow!
O__O.

OH, MY GOD.

PLZ LET ME B A SPARKLEY VAMPIER OF OSMNESS. xDDD *totally wants to join* I probably despise Twilight just as much as the rest of you, if not more. The values taught in that book...ew...o_o'
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Kusari Yarou
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NEW TRAILER OMG
It is amusing how they seem to be marketing this as a thrill-a-minute supernatural action film, instead of the crappy, highschool wangstfest it really is XD
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