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The Twilight Of My Ass; Anti-Stephenie Meyer
Topic Started: May 9 2008, 04:13 AM (12,755 Views)
Lute
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Sefie
Jun 2 2008, 09:11 PM
As for Orson Scott Card, give the guy a break. We believe homosexuality is a sin, let us have our beliefs.

<33 Fankyuu, Sefie. <33 And Orson Scott Card writes RLY RLY WELL. Stephenie Meyer's just....Mehh. Your religion has nothing to do with how well you write or anything. :3

See, I have nothing against gay people though. Everyone has their own lifestyle, so whatever! It's not like I'm ANTI-GAYKILLPLZPLZ or anything. I have too many gay friends + am totally for your own choice. Being Mormon doesn't mean you hate gay people or dislike them or anything negative at all. :3

BTW. I FINISHED THE HOST OR WHATEVER. D: For some reason, it was really different for me. It made it seem like she wrote Twilight just because and she saved some vestige of originality and depth for her "adult" novel. I dunno, it makes you think of her conception of "age" oddly - apparently, teenagers can't understand symbolism and are stuck with Twilight that feeds them crap and fangirling, while "adults" can comprehend "advanced" things. [It's not really difficult. At all.] So, basically, it was very different and I'm not sure what to think about it. There wasn't NEARLY as much "OMG SPARKLEZ FANGIRL" at all. The characters actually had depth and spine. I kinda liked it, but there were some things that bugged me a bit. D: I dunno what, but it wasn't as retarded as Twilight, that's for sure.

Maybe you all should just read it for yourselves. xD It's not as brainslay, I promise, although some of it might be blah. It's not really that bad. D:

AND WTF CITY OF BONES EW STEPHENIE NO LOLOLOLOLOL ;;
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Kusari Yarou
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Sorry, it's just a knee-jerk reaction of mine.:sweat: I'm not religion-bashing; homophobia is just a personal thing to me. I've been more aware and fiercely protective of gays ever since seeing it happen- a gay friend of mine got mind-fcked by some supposedly well-meaning organization he was joining and was very emotionally damaged by it <_<

Lute
 
And Orson Scott Card writes RLY RLY WELL. Stephenie Meyer's just....Mehh. Your religion has nothing to do with how well you write or anything

Yeah, his Ender novels are still on my to-read list. And I like His Dark Materials AND Chronicles of Narnia at the same time- I can simply enjoy a story for the story,yus.

Lute
 
Maybe you all should just read it for yourselves. xD It's not as brainslay, I promise, although some of it might be blah. It's not really that bad. D:

But she ripped off my beloved Animorphs!

Sefie
 
women fantasizing about their husbands being vampires

Holy crap, maybe if I search those MOMS forums, I'll find some woman who coated her hubby in glitter and stuck him in the fridge before dragging him off to bed!
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Lute
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Animorphs!? O: OMG I used to love those books haha. xD I don't recall any Animorph-ripping. O:

And I know what you mean. I would beat someone if they said anything horrible about homosexuals. D: < Then again, I'm rather timid and weak. ;; But I have some SUPERB gay friends that I wouldn't trade for straight ones any day EVER mmkay. <3

Ender's Game was so good. <333 I've only read that one, but really, it was liek WOAH. D:
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Dr. Coon
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My mullet is better than yours.
Homophobia comes from an out of date mentality. People with relics for minds get offended by something so feeble.

LOL EDWARD HAS BUSHY EYEBROWS.
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Kaldea
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fantôme
Love is love. It doesn't matter what gender you are. "Love" cannot be a sin because love is nothing but good, but that's just me talking. There's something wrong if people can hate another for having a love that isn't like their own.

Besides, the world needs to learn to accept everyone. It needs more love and less needless, uneducated hate.

And I also used to read Animorphs. D: I have forgotten those years on purpose it seems.
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Sefie
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Kaldea
Jun 3 2008, 04:26 PM
Love is love. It doesn't matter what gender you are. "Love" cannot be a sin because love is nothing but good, but that's just me talking.

I respectfully disagree, but this isn't the thread for it ^_^ Just understand that it's a religious belief and please respect it. I respect your supporting it, I'd appreciate the same courtesy.
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Lute
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I don't think anyone wants this to turn into a debate~~ Everyone has their own opinion, so I think we should let that issue rest. We all respect everyone and their lifestyle choices, amirite? :huggle:

Now, let's get back to the purpose of this thread: loling at Twilight plz. : D

So, since Edward's described as MODEL GAWJUSS, does that mean he's airbrushed into his forgotten pagan god state? ;; LOL NO WONDER MOVIE!EDWARD PHAILS. He can't compare to photo manips. D;

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Kaldea
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fantôme
I don't even know how he's supposed to look in the book. But after seeing his actor, anything to do with Edward being romantic in the slightest way repulses me. :mellow:
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Tacofoolio
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We are number one. All others are number two, or lower.
Homg, I adored Animorphs so much. We must make a club. xD

Guh, honestly though, I hate any book that teaches teenagers to appreciate Sues and Stus and cutting out any real complexity. I find so much of what I'd heard/read laughable. and homg the trailer?..... I died laughing. Dramatic pauses and wtf acting galore, but the real thing that made me die was the random car honking and swerving into Bella for absolutely no reason. I mean, at least have her being a retard walking into traffic because she's staring at the oh so good looking modelesque god-like sparkly vampire, not a car coming at her being oh so innocent. Seriously, we need some realism.
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Dr. Coon
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My mullet is better than yours.
Marble skin. Bronze hair color. Extremely handsome.

Vague enough for us to envision, am I right?

I kept seeing a Greek statue with a bronze colored wig. Coupled with those cheap glow in the dark vampire fangs.
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Kaldea
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HAHAHAHAHAHA, Taco. <333 Yeth plz. :fangirl:

When I think of marble skin, I think of marble cheese. *Fatass*
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Skelly
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Lol. I just realized having century-ish year old teenage vampires in high school is like sticking Claudia into a daycare center. :mellow: Makes sense, totally.

Lutearina
 
He can't compare to photo manips. D;

Gaspard Ulliel, ya mean? :whistle:

Kusari Yarou
 
Holy crap, maybe if I search those MOMS forums, I'll find some woman who coated her hubby in glitter and stuck him in the fridge before dragging him off to bed!

Actually, my friend found a comment like that one some other website---but it just involved a girl dumping glitter on her boyfriend. D: *disturbed*
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icor
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Sefie
Jun 3 2008, 05:11 AM
As for Orson Scott Card, give the guy a break. We believe homosexuality is a sin, let us have our beliefs.

Well, certainly. But there's a big difference between your beliefs and putting out ill-informed conjecture with the intention of insulting, belittling, or otherwise infringing on people's basic rights and lifestyle.

Quote:
 
I respectfully disagree, but this isn't the thread for it  Just understand that it's a religious belief and please respect it. I respect your supporting it, I'd appreciate the same courtesy.


(General you present!)

Actually, if we're going by the Bible, and assuming that there's both sin (which is so ridiculous I won't even get started on the topic) and love present, Kaldea's canonically correct. But hey, who ever listened to the Bible in the first place? It's a convinent source of justification to get your hate-on, and anything that contradicts your personal lifestyle is "out dated," and "only relevant for those times," and happily ignored. But, ah, that's not the point. The point is, Twilight still sucks.

Copy&Pasted from my LJ due to 1) friend's lock, 2) laziness, 3) lulz.

---

And because everyone else has had a stab at it, Twilight. No, I'm not going to post excerpts, no matter how hilariously bad they are, or MST it, but here's why I think Twilight is a good idea.

Everyone knows the basics. A hot, shiny vampire eternally looking like a marble tribute to some forgotten pagan god of beauty a seventeen year old, who falls in love with a random Sue mortal girl and is fantastically creepy about it. Awesome. No, really. It's like the way fanfic authors take a perfectly good idea (say, a rape victim dealing with the trauma and trying to slowly build a new relationship) and utterly failing through a lack of understanding, research and execution (omg! raep=love healing sex cures everything!1). Here's the main four reasons Twilight fails:


- Characterisation. Giving your main character a single flaw doesn't stop them from being a Mary Sue, especially when it's thrown in for just that reason and doesn't have an impact on their day-to-day lives, the plot, or character relationships. Self-importance is not a good quality. Equally, just because a character in question isn't the main one and doesn't share your gender, making them utterly perfect doesn't make them attractive. It makes them boring and unrealistic. shiny vampires lol
- The writing. Pick up the book. Pick a random page. Yeeeah, you'll see what I mean here. First person is generally my favourite perspective to read and write, but, uh... I don't even know what to say.
- Complete lack of concept of healthy relationships.
- fap fap fap.

However, if you gave me a story about a vampire who looks seventeen but is well aware of his age, and using that to prey on young girls because he'sa paedophile in everything but body, that I'd like. Just because Edward's perfect face is void of wrinkles and he doesn't look old enough to buy alcohol, does not mean he isn't well above a teenager mentally or aware how to manipulate younger girls for his own ends. If his body matched his mind then we'd have ourselves an H.H. of the supernatural world. Sadly, because he's so goddamn hot, it's perfectly acceptable for him to be ridiculously obsessed with a minor.

Similarly, with Bella. I can buy a seventeen (rite?) year old girl being flattered by the attention of what appears to be a mysterious, hothothot guy, and due to her infatuation, not realising how creepy and unhealthy the entire situation is. I can even see her thinking she's in love with him very, very quickly--after all, she's lonely, new to town, not particularly liking her new life. But I want her slowly realising that no, this isn't good for her--he looks seventeen, but he sure as hell isn't going to act it. And it's scary, not flattering, for a seventeen year old girl to be watched in her sleep for nights on end. Her biggest concern isn't going to be "oh noez, I might have said something embarrassing in my sleep." It's going to cause paranoia, it'll likely lead to sleep deprivation. It should be obvious enough that he has no respect for her privacy, so what makes her think he's going to act admirably in other aspects?

If they do have a relationship, let's have something messed up. Not "Oh, you're my soulmate, I want to eat you but my love conquers that primal urge, let's not have sex because our love is so ~pure~." Let's have the girl dealing with the fact that she finds the gore aspects of vampirism revolting. Let's have her find something else to like about him other than his flawless looks. Power-play should come into this, too--they're not going to be equal, but let her get some footing. Maybe she'll realise that paedo-stalker-vamp isn't all she thought he was and try to let him down gently. Yeah, that'll work out well. Obsessive love can work well, but not in the "I can't live without you!" "Me neither!" "Let's live happily ever after" way.

And most of all, let's have vampires acting like vampires. As far as I can tell, Edward is a vampire for the purpose of a) mystery, B) angst, c) to look hothothot. They sparkle in the sun. They're vegetarians. Where are the consequences? Where is the gore? D:
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Lute
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Icor, that was the awesomest slaying of Twilight ever. <3 You win. <3

BTW, Taco, the car thing was apparently because of the icy roads. D: One of the MANY boys who ends up liking her (wtf she's plain) didn't have chains on his tires sos his minivan went out of control. PSHAW.

The problem with this book is that she focused so much on making it NOT Sue/Stu-ish that it ended up being so. D: What with enforcing the fact that Bella is PLAIN and then having five guys fall for her? Uh-huh. D:

TOO MUCH PHAIL FOR ONE DAY. ;;
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Rikkulicious
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Quote:
 
BTW, Taco, the car thing was apparently because of the icy roads. D: One of the MANY boys who ends up liking her (wtf she's plain) didn't have chains on his tires sos his minivan went out of control. PSHAW.


:lmao: And out of ALL places, goes after Bella who is COMPLETELY OVER TO THE SIDE. And of course no one is by her, she is teh speshsul sue, of course the car must aim for her so her sparkly prince can be badass! :cry:

And icor, that was BEAUTIFUL.
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